What do Taylor Swift, a clown car, and seasonal porn have in common? They all somehow make it into this week’s episode of Your Mileage May Vary! Just Mike and me today, and we’re diving into the strange, hilarious, and occasionally bleak corners of sex, relationships, and the modern world. We kick things off with a look at the awkward politics of s…

Keith opens with a hot take on Trump’s America, while Mike finds unexpected humor in Elon Musk’s dreams of Mars. Ally is unimpressed, predicting four years of “dumb news” with a cognitive load she’d rather skip. It’s politics, sex, tech, and a sprinkle of dark comedy. As the conversation shifts, we hit a deep dive into relationships and breakups. K…

We spar over a recent listener’s email critiquing the show, with Mike’s biting response setting the tone: Don’t like it? Don’t listen. The debate over listener loyalty quickly spirals into discussions about free speech, political divides, and an unexpected autofellatio advocate from YouTube, proving once again that no topic is too taboo. The team t…

We dive headfirst into election season stress, sparking debates about voting, political allegiances, and California's unique tax burdens. The conversation gets heated as they explore the surprising reasons why some stick with their coastal roots, even at the cost of thousands. The stakes might be high, but the laughs are even higher as they weigh t…

Keith kicks things off with the realization that he's been celibate for half a year and asks Mike for his longest dry spell, opening up a deep dive into the strange, hilarious world of post-college dating before apps were even a thing. Spoiler: the secret to success back then apparently involved nothing short of flashy cars and questionable confide…

This week, I'm going to have ChatGPT give you a summary of what we discussed, mostly because I'm lazy, but also because I just think it's more accurate than I would be! And, I mean, when you've made an episode with such a detailed effort to describe the structure of women's clitorises, what more is there to say? New Orgasm Discovery: Ally shares a …

Ally says she doesn't make efforts to get a guy to tell her he loves her, but it seems to happen anyway. We discuss the detailed parsing of that word that lies at the heart of many women's fantasies. Another topic: How important are relative arousal levels in sex. Sure, it's irritating to see a guy in a porn is only partially erect, but is there so…

With election season firmly here, we take up a topic that probably shouldn't be in the news but always is: abortion. Good thing we didn't have a woman on this episode, because women's views on this topic are annoyingly consistent and, frankly, pretty boring. Now, I like killing people as much as the next guy. I really do. But I'm not sure it's righ…

With everybody in the media wagging their fingers at Mark Robinson for his posts on a porn site a decade ago, Ally and I take a look at what he said to understand if it's really all that different from what a lot of men get up to in the porn universe. On the sex side some of what he says is probably less unusual than others might imagine. But of co…

I'm fairly disappointed that our listener base hasn't worked very hard to help Ally out in her search for sex with a dominant older man. Maybe they don't exist? Or maybe our listener base consists largely of folks who just want that vicarious experience, not the sweet escape. We solider on though, discussing Diddy's behavior and how that compares t…

Let's cut right to the chase: Ally is looking for a certain kind of man to satisfy her needs, and she's not finding him. This isn't your typical female ask for a life partner or a long-term relationship. It's more a recognition that she's had difficulty finding someone who can get the job done for her. Which brings up an interesting difficulty that…

I really appreciate Ally's choice to talk in detail about her submissive proclivities prior to a hoped-for sexual encounter this weekend. I'm not sure how common it really is for women to like men to be dominant and/or aggressive during sex. As she points out, it's definitely common enough to make successes out of movies like 50 Shades of Grey. Reg…

Straight back from consuming the dreadful convention coverage from the political parties, Mike tackles porn and society. The key word for the week is "taboos," as so much of what we're allowed to talk about now revolves around what will and won't make other people uncomfortable. The history of mankind is best understood by thinking economically, an…

Ally thinks she's never been filmed while having sex, with or without her knowledge and consent. The joke's on her, because I'm relatively sure pretty much everyone has been filmed at one point or another by the powers that be for blackmail material. She also hasn't noticed in her sexual experiences the claimed increase in penis length that researc…

One surprising challenge for the man traveling through Africa is that porn is illegal in essentially every country there. This, combined with spotty Internet access, can genuinely inhibit a man from being able to orgasm during his trip. Not to mention what it might do to prostate-cancer rates. Condom use, or lack thereof in early sexual encounters,…

Keith has a serious problem while touring Southern Africa: Access to high-quality porn. We take it for granted in this day and age, but it relies completely on high-speed Internet access. How much porn per day should a man prepare before such a trip, and what should he do if he runs out? We dive deeper into questions of squirting and what esoteric …

It turns out that Ally has never been with a man whose penis was so tightly circumcised that he had an immobile foreskin when erect. This came up because I wanted to understand what goes into her management of semen when the guy orgasms in her mouth. Come to find out this generally isn't an issue for her, which makes me wonder whether she's having …

I think the clit might be the most misunderstood part of the sexual apparatus. What's really going on with that small penis-analog that sometimes isn't difficult to even locate? People really just don't talk enough about clits. Why is that? On some level women are in luck, given that men generally haven't extended to clits the specific body-part fe…

Maybe all women fantasize about being a man during sex in order to get off. I have often hypothesized that it's just more fun for the male partner to do the act. In this gender-bending world, it's hard to know what's going to work for someone. One man's autofellatio is another man's pegging. In this episode, Ally and Mike discuss details of what go…

Even men who are into cuckolding tend to restrict it to their fantasies or to what they think about when pretty aroused. We discuss a man who wants deeply to interact with the penis of another man, until he orgasms at which point the desire recedes immediately. What should he do? Simply remain aroused as long as possible? A woman is tired of turnin…

It's an oft-discussed trope that women become much more attached to men after the first time they have sex. But, does the same logic apply to oral sex performed on the guy? That is to say, does it matter where exactly the penis goes? And, does it matter where the semen goes? Keith is interested in understanding how, in a normal relationship, a blow…

It's complicated, as a man, to know how to respond to receiving a nude photo from a female partner. The obvious answer is you should be complementary, and not respond with a dick pic or similar. But then, how strong should the complements be? Is she forcing you to interact with her insecurities? We struggle often to define the term "fingering" as i…

In this day and age, it's hard to believe how poorly informed men can be about women's sexual responses. This week, we've found a selection of odd male behaviors in relationships which we make an effort to explain. To wit, what would possess a man to send a list of "mistakes" made by a sexual partner after their first encounter? From my perspective…

A listener ponders: Given a choice between a series of probably gay activities and pegging, which is the most gay? And, how would we rank-order the experiences which all sound pretty gay, including two men facing each other and then masturbating simultaneously on to a black towel. Along the same lines, a man really really wants to enjoy being pegge…

The release date of this episode will make it hard for listeners, as they'll have to tear themselves away from the new Taylor Swift album to give us their full attention. Her emotions regarding her most recent failed relationship are notable, if only because they don't really sound like those I would expect from a 35-year-old woman. But we'll soldi…

If one were to try to assign "blame" for men's difficulty in ascertaining whether a female partner has orgasmed, who bears the most responsibility? Traditionally, I would view it as the man's fault. Given our interest in that part of the female body, you'd think more men would conduct significant online research. But what if women are actively tryi…

Keith wanted to discuss where to place his semen in an early sexual encounter. It's not as simple a problem as it sounds. It requires forethought for each position. And, since the woman may often simply express the desire that he "put it inside," it's a lonely road the man must travel to find a proper exterior setting. As I sit here in my bed in Du…

There's no way to know the full extent to which people claiming to use multiple forms of birth control are virtue signaling. Sure, it's believable that in early sexual encounters people might use a condom as well as the pill, to protect against STIs. But there's definitely some sort of limit here, and later in a relationship the benefit derived is …

Like the peninsular docks that jut out from the islands of the Maldives, a dildo a man purchased for his wife seemed to touch just the right spots, giving her the first "penetration-only" orgasm he's ever witnessed. Now, heartbroken, he's unsure whether this will permanently alter their relationship. Another man is upset that his wife allowed anoth…

It's always a difficult situation for a woman when she's pleasuring a man orally and he starts to get a bit too pushy. But here we discuss a young lady who was surprised by the act and unable to control the depth of penetration at all. What are some techniques for managing this? If she bites him, will she really get punched? What's the best way for…

Which countries have the largest and the smallest penis sizes? Would it surprise you to find out that the smallest nation is just a bit more than half the size of the largest one? It's a complicated topic, though, because if a guy wants to get into the Three Sevens Club, he's going to need to be extremely tall, have a large penis and make a lot of …

That glow I have is the good feeling from being told by Ally, in no uncertain terms, that my orgasms are surely stronger than hers, and perhaps stronger than all women's. "Why else would men pursue sex so much more than women," she says. "It must be better for you guys." Amen to that, and thanks to Ally we also learned that the products of teenage …

In spite of the vigorous efforts of men to post detailed feedback on porn and sex toys, few take this part of men's lives seriously. It's a shame, because for most men it's an important enough part of their lives that one wonders whether someone can really know a man without understanding his porn preferences. This episode, Mike wanted to discuss a…

A woman reports experiencing an extraordinary number of orgasms experienced during a bondage session. So many so, in fact, that she passes out from the experience, and she claims that each orgasm became painful, starting about halfway through the session. What is she experiencing? Is in analogous to the male experience or something completely diffe…

Like Icarus flying too close to the sun, we decided to tackle a series of topics this week that could get us banned from the Internet or worse. In general, we are very timid men, unwilling to challenge social norms, but this week was different. I blame climate change. This may surprise you, but it sounds like men sometimes lie on dating application…

Some men might not be upset to find out their partner invited another man to join their bedroom festivities. But, even those who at some time or another have declared they'd be up for "anything" may not really mean they want to take it quite that far. Who are the real masters of the domain of orgasm? Is it perhaps time for women to concede that men…

What a world it is that people will stand up and shout you down for having the audacity to suggest that a fluid emanating from a woman's urethra is urine. Perhaps we are the Galileos of a new enlightenment, called to the world to bring knowledge to the huddled masses. Incidentally, and perhaps appropriately, if you want to see Galileo's middle fing…

In a thought-provoking start to the new year, we discuss requests for unusual types of porn made by men on Reddit, paired with a conversation about PornHub's 2023 porn trends data. Where are men coming up with these rather strange requests? Is it indicative of what they want in real life, or have they just been conditioned by online content? If you…

Before getting to the heart of the matter -- how many times one should have had sex in 2023 -- we discuss some topics of perhaps more general interest. A woman has a curious predilection for small penises, prompting her to receive a large number of dick pics showing off all the smaller-than-average men available on the Internet. Her opinion, presum…

Discussion continues of Keith's concern that women don't particularly enjoy giving head, turning partly to the question of whether they're enjoyment of sex would be enhanced by "leaning into" a more submissive role rather than focusing primarily on emotional closeness. For the holidays, Keith made an effort to find a lady-friend willing to come wit…

There may be listeners who find it irritating when Keith and Mike pretty much agree on a subject, but such was the case regarding oral performed on women and how to optimize their orgasm quality. Sure, we haven't witnessed every single female orgasm that has ever happened on the planet (that will have to wait for the surveillance state of the 2030s…

What should a man do if his female partner starts taking steroids or testosterone? Whether it's to become a weightlifter or as part of a hormone-replacement regimen, he's liable to be confronted by someone with a significantly different libido from the norm. It could even be -- bear with me here -- like the transition between Bruce Banner and The I…

Men really like it when their partners orgasm during sex, and Keith is no exception. He has a theory for why maybe his partners are more likely to get there than those of a random man. He hopes he's a kind of orgasm whisperer, particularly early in a relationship. Even pretty experienced and successful men probably make basic mistakes during early …

If you're like me, and I can only assume that you are, your enjoyment of sex follows the pleasure principle and the harm principle. In other words, my main reason for wanting to do things is because they turn me on and make me feel good. I'm not a goddamned sexual charity after all. Well, come to find out that there are people out there who view se…

You're on a date with a woman, someone to whom you're pretty attracted, and she doesn't know a piece of information you thought was common knowledge. How should you react? Does it matter? Is it an opportunity to teach each other things about the world, or is it an indication that she won't be able to "keep up" with you? Speaking of enlightenment, a…

I think women are well within their rights to be proud or self-assured when they see their male partner's penis erupt into a fountain of semen during a sex session. It's reassuring, and it certainly suggests that his attraction is strong and enduring. But in a scientific sense, what it really means is that he's just masturbating less. Storing up hi…

Straight back from a Covid-induced hiatus, Keith explains that fickle-ish women on dating apps aren't willing to wait out his illness for a chance to meet him. Except one, who may or may not have prepared him a steaming bowl of soup, which he may or may not have accepted. Speaking more globally, why is it that women are messaged that they shouldn't…

A friend tells you a story about a woman he's dating. He mentions that she climaxes so easily that he has difficulty even holding hands with her, lest it trigger her. What's your thought process? Does she have a medical condition? Is she telling the truth? Is she clear on what an orgasm even feels like? Now, let's say you're a woman, and you're mar…

Like a warm placid river running down her tongue to her throat. That's more or less how Ally describes the crucial last moments of oral pleasure as she gives it to her male partner. "It irrigates my tonsils," she says, as she relaxes into her easy chair. "It's like he's delivering me a medicine I didn't know I wanted, but I did." This self-evident …

Keith has rediscovered the Amazon position, so we take a look at some videos that listeners will likely enjoy. It's one of the ways a woman can be more dominant in the bedroom, but it's a tricky position, as it requires the man to be "bent" downward in a way that might make the action difficult for him. So what's a dominant woman to do? We discuss …