Episode 81 - Man We Hate COD, Green Hell, and The Green Knight

Dead Jester Productions Podcast

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, our heroes began to hear a rustling of leaves. The villagers, being inexperienced in combat, must have assumed the noise was the wind blowing the field of grass. They were mistaken. Our heroes quickly realized that the goblins were on the move. They signaled to the villagers to prepare for combat.

The rustling grew closer, allowing the muffled shuffling of feet to be heard. Those in the village held their ground, waiting for the enemy to get closer. The noise grew louder, and louder still. When it seemed the approaching party was upon them, the heroes motioned for the villagers to act.

At once, they lit torches and began throwing them into the field. The dry grass immediately burst into flames. The wall of fire lit up the area, and revealed the mob of goblins for the village to see. Seeing them numbering over a hundred, the villagers grew terrified of their odds of survival. The goblins, realizing this, began to knock back the flames to break through. The villagers prepared to flee, but see our heroes rushing to fill the gap in the flames. Seeing this, they are reinvigorated and get set to fight.

Our heroes slash their way to the other side of the fire, and set themselves in the path between the goblins and villagers. Taking out a number of goblins, the Jester fires off magical spells of all kinds. Fire, electricity, and water flew all around. Our Swordsman Hero slashed with both of his swords, weaving in between the Jester's spells. The Warrior Hero smashed group after group of goblins with his mace, leaving a small crater in the wake of each swing.

With the heroes taking care of most of the fighting, the villagers worked together to deal with any goblins that slipped through the flames. Using pitchforks, woodcutting axes, and anything they could find, they fought as hard as they could to defend their village.

Sensing that the tide of the battle was going in their favor, the villagers began to shout encouragements to the heroes. The heroes noticed the remaining goblins were backing off a bit, but did not retreat entirely. This concerned the heroes, as it seemed unnatural. As their doubts set in, their fears were realized. A large, hulking figure came running out of the treeline. A hobgoblin. Realizing that the battle wasn't over yet, our heroes braced for the worst of the fight. They thought of how much they talked poorly about COD, their new obsession with the game "Green Hell", and about seeing the new movie "The Green Knight."