EP132 Lack & Scarcity: Name It

Fearlessly Fertile Podcast with Rosanne Austin

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

There is a specific belief system that will sabotage your dreams on this journey (and just about every other aspect of your life), GUARANTEED. It’s called lack and scarcity. Learn what this mindset scourge is and how it might be hiding in plain sight in your life. Once you see it, you won’t be able […]

The post EP132 Lack & Scarcity: Name It appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 132, Lack and Scarcity, Name It. Hey loves, ah, so good to be with you. This week we begin a series on a topic that I believe, after seven years of coaching women to fertility success, is the most critical.

Yet least understood of all saboteurs we face on this journey. And that is lack and scarcity. It is so important that I’m devoting three episodes to it, and even then, I know we are barely scratching the surface. But you gotta start somewhere, right? I know that once you get conversant in this topic, it will blow your mind how insidious and pervasive it can be.

Just know that some of what we are going to be talking about is likely to be triggering as fuck. And, as one of my most beloved mentors would say, here’s the deal. If you want to be successful as fuck, you’ve got to be willing to get triggered and move through that shit because on the other side is a confidence in freedom that those who stay in fear and lack in scarcity are not likely to ever achieve.

I know that if you’re listening to this podcast, chances are you’ve at least got your inner snowflake a teeny bit in check because that bitch will keep you stuck making fear based choices that suck and will damn you to smallness and mediocrity, which would keep you from listening to this podcast. So, if I have your ears, you’re probably in a good place to at least start playing with the idea that I’m going to be presenting this week.

I’m telling you straight, I am shooting straight from my heart on this one because I love you, and I want you to do something smarter than squander your life in fear, particularly at a time in your life when you feeling calm, confident, and at some level of Peace is critical. I want to emphasize that because confidently walking this journey directly impacts your results.

It is a critical aspect of making decisions with clarity, rather than aiming your shotgun at a solution hoping to hit something, right? Like you’re just, it’s like you got one, one hand over your eye and you’re trying to aim your shotgun just, just hoping something is going to work. Having spent decades of my own life trapped in lack and scarcity, I am Helling you.

There’s a better way and life is way better on the other side of that. And look, you can get there to abundance, which ultimately we’re going to get to in this series. But abundance is your birthright. It’s where your highest calling is. It’s where your baby lives, and it is where you can truly. Be fearless.

So let’s get started in a lawyerly way by starting with a very basic working definition for what I mean when I say lack and scarcity in our particular context here. This is my definition and look, you may down the road, come up with your own, refine it or build upon it. That’s totally cool. The point of all of this is that you gain an awareness of its presence In your life, awareness is always the first step and notice if there’s a part of you that as we begin working with this starts to niggle with my definition.

If that comes up, you got to ask yourself, is there something you’re trying to distract yourself from here? Okay, don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees, baby girl, because this topic is that important and notice. Hey, when, when it’s a tough topic or a topic that triggers us, you know, our subconscious mind will come in and mess with us and distract us with shit that doesn’t matter.

Okay, so we’re going to start with this lack and scarcity is the belief or system of beliefs that there is a finite amount of something and within that belief is the presupposition that there isn’t. Enough for you. This belief system also has the unmistakable stench of victimhood, which makes it debilitating to the untrained mind.

This can present itself in a belief that there is a limited and finite amount of time, money, Resources, chances or opportunities, blessings, and love, to name just a few. There are loads more, and these can be described in many ways, but for the sake of our discussion here, I’m sure that a few of these reek of familiarity to you, and they will at least get the ball rolling for our discussion here.

It’s important to note that many of us were raised with cultural, religious, social, and familial influences that make lack and scarcity thinking normal. Lack and scarcity is often presented to us as an unequivocal fact, when in truth, all the purveyor of that belief is doing is perpetuating a story that someone told them.

And that story became a belief in their life. And now they’re just kicking that turd down the road to you, mama. Now, does that imply malice on the part of the person passing along the story? Of course not. Unless you surround yourself with sociopaths and narcissists, chances are the purveyor of the lack and scarcity story thought they were doing a good thing by passing along this quote unquote wisdom.

They were doing the best that they could with what they had, but they were lacking awareness. Okay, awareness that a story of lack and scarcity just isn’t true. They were relaying and perpetuating an experience. That’s all. Not a universal, uncontroverted fact. Make sure you caught that. The person that was purveying the story to you, they were relaying their experience.

Not a universal, uncontroverted fact. Because look, just because one person had a negative experience with money or, or the thing they feel is in lack and scarcity doesn’t make that, that particular Uh, money experience evil. It doesn’t mean that all money is evil or all questions you have about time or anything else that you feel lack and scarcity of.

It doesn’t mean that those are bad things. It was just that person’s experience. It’s no better or worse. It’s just their experience. So, how are these lack and scarcity stories, such as lack and scarcity of time, money, opportunity, and the things I had spoken about earlier, how are these things passed along?

They can be passed via things like cautionary tales, old wives tales, sayings, colloquialisms. the perpetuation of cultural or social stereotypes, or the repeated statements of those who had or have influence in our lives, to name a few. Now, these stories can be cleverly disguised and sound like this.

Remember Auntie Jane? She worked so hard and her standards were so high that she never got married and had kids. Now look at her. She’s old and alone. Poor woman. What’s wrong with you? Do you think money grows on trees? You know, it’s way harder to have kids over 35, so you better hurry up. She missed her only chance at happiness.

You’re already blessed with one child, a nice house, and a partner. Isn’t it greedy to want more? Why can’t you just be happy with what you have? It’s now or never, girl. Do you really want to go out on that limb? Won’t people think you’re crazy? Why don’t you just adopt? Side note, no shade, totally fucking love adoption, and it’s a calling, not a fallback position.

Why don’t you just use donor eggs? Again, no shade, love it, and it’s a calling, not a fallback position. Just saying. That’s so much money. I would never spend that much. It’s a shame you had to spend money on something that other people do for free. Oh wow, I thought only celebrities had coaches and did IVF.

My husband would never go for that. Must be nice. Ooh, I would never touch my retirement to pay for that. Why would you go through all the trouble when there are so many kids in the world that need love? Oh man, my sister’s hairstyle is garbage man, and his wife broke up AFTER THEY had struggled with fertility, then he went out and hooked up with a rich hotshot lawyer who also happens to be a sports illustrated swimsuit model, and now they have three kids.

Don’t you love how people just drag stories like that out of the woodpile? Now, I’m willing to bet that, based on some of the crazy examples I’ve given you, I bet you’ve heard some version of that lack and scarcity shit. Underlying each of these is judgment, mediocrity, disempowerment, self pity, and a painfully misguided belief that whatever is immediately in front of you Is all that there is the money, opportunity, chances, time, et cetera, that you have today is all there will ever be.

And we all know that’s fucking nonsense. A lack and scarcity mindset. Is based upon the idea that you have to be afraid because there isn’t enough of blank for you. So you have to be scared of never attaining blank. Right? Insert the thing that you desire. Therefore, because you are scared you may never get the blank.

Your behavior is thereby relegated to that of a deer in headlights. You freeze and the proverbial car runs your ass over. Lack and scarcity will have you hunker down and put a death grip on things and add a level of intensity to this journey that will make it, and you, utterly unbearable. It will blind you to solutions that are right under your pretty little nose, but you can’t see it because lack and its ugly stepsister scarcity will just have you focusing on the price tag instead of the fucking opportunity.

The quintessential lack and scarcity way of viewing the world is to look at what you stand to lose versus what you stand to gain. Instead of looking at the good that the investment of time, money, or resources will bring, someone in lack and scarcity will instead obsess over the price or obsess over the amount of time.

Instead of looking at what they stand to gain, that is excruciatingly short term thinking that will position you to miss the forest for the trees. Again, my love. And look, another aspect of lack and scarcity is insisting upon guarantees. Holy shit, what the shit do we know about life at this point in time, after living it presumably for decades?

There are no guarantees. To live a full and brilliant life, you’ve gotta be willing to do shit without a guarantee. You’ve gotta be willing to put skin in the game. Think about it. Now, really think about this. Do Olympic medalists only go to the games if they are promised a win? No. Hell no. They go because of a dream and they’re willing to risk it all.

Some of them train for fucking years and still walk away with nothing. But that is the kind of drive that demonstrates a belief in the dream over going into lack and scarcity and never fucking swinging the bat. The corrosive nature of the lack and scarcity mindset is the driving force behind people being cheap, penny pinching, only considering price, being, like, in a twisted way, competitive, hoarding, only saying yes to things that are covered by insurance because, God forbid, they think out of the box.

and are willing to get out of their fucking comfort zone, trying to get other people to pay for things, freeload without ever offering something of value in return, waste other people’s time and think nothing of it, gobble up as much free shit as they can, then act offended when someone offers them a fee based solution, and about a zillion other examples.

And oh my god, oh my god, this makes me think of a movie, I cannot remember, like, what it was called, but there was a character in this movie where she, it’s a woman who wouldn’t shell out the money for a high end face cream, so she would just go by the cosmetic counter asking for samples every fucking week, you know, it’s like, just saying that makes me cringe to even think about that, but that is the kind of crazy, gross, Lack and scarcity shit that a lack and scarcity mindset can get you to do.

It keeps you a beggar in your life. It makes you a beggar and not a leader in your life, which is an absolute blasphemy when you think about what you’re really here to do. The saddest thing about all of this is that people will use lack and scarcity thinking to walk away from their dreams and look, they do it every day.

Day, they will use an alleged lack of money or time to walk away from a decision that is a giant hell. Yes. In their heart, time and money are the biggest excuses. People stuck in lack and scarcity thinking we’ll use. To sabotage their dream, people will use a lack of love and I mean, look, the lack and scarcity comes as I have described earlier in many, many disgusting flavors, but time and money are the ones that are used most often because it’s so easy to parade.

Oh, I’m just doing the prudent thing when actually you’re doing the short sided ridiculous thing. And look, we’ve all been there, but that is why I am sharing this with you so that you can catch it and begin to be aware of it in your own life. I’m being straight with you as someone who is in recovery from that mess and who coaches women to their dreams on this journey.

I have watched women with the guts to bet everything on their dream. Women for whom it was a huge stretch to do my program turn around and make the seemingly impossible possible. They face their fear, they change their mindset, and they beat the fucking odds. And they did so because they got out of their lack and scarcity thinking and gave themselves a chance to see the full board.

Like imagine playing chess. You want to be able to see all of the opportunities, right? They began to see themselves and the world around them in a very different way because as you sit here listening to this today, lack and scarcity, whatever it is that you struggle with, whatever flavor of it that you struggle with is literally blinding you to opportunities right here and right now.

Unquestionably, and the quality of your decisions, your confidence and your willingness to bet on yourself and win. Ultimately, that goes through the roof when you take those blinders off. Okay, love you enough to say it. And if you doubt that, go and listen to every single interview I’ve done with my ladies from all over the world.

These ladies and their babies are living proof of what’s possible when you get the fuck out of lack and scarcity. And I don’t care if it’s a worry, a lack of time, money, you’re freaking out about your age, how many times you’ve quote unquote failed, all of those things are versions of lack and scarcity.

And they’re playing out in your life right now. Again, I’m pointing this out because I fucking love you and I want you to get free of it because it will destroy your dream. Unchecked, lack and scarcity will destroy your dream, which is why we are naming it now. Here’s an exercise to take this conversation to the next level.

Expose lack and scarcity. In your life, step one, now that we’ve given you a working understanding of lack and scarcity, take a moment right now and name where instinctively you see it operating in your life today. Step two, ask yourself, what impact has lack and scarcity had in your life? Okay. Just what impact?

Like, are you afraid about money all the time? Are you afraid about How you’re, you know, the clock is ticking and you’re getting older by the second. You know, what impact has lack and scarcity had in your life? And step three, if you love this podcast and the free content my team and I bring to you every week, take a moment right now and give us a five star review.

Not only does it show your appreciation, it helps other women find this work. Love. What you think and believe is directly impacting your choices and your results. This is why mindset can make all the difference in the world on this journey. Mindset is so often the missing piece of the fertility puzzle that way too many women miss.

Your results don’t change until you do, baby. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases. Mind and body. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is to help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, hell yes.