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EP212 The Mama-Making Mindset Strategy: Gain the “Unfair” Advantage

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Innhold levert av Rosanne Austin. Alt podcastinnhold, inkludert episoder, grafikk og podcastbeskrivelser, lastes opp og leveres direkte av Rosanne Austin eller deres podcastplattformpartner. Hvis du tror at noen bruker det opphavsrettsbeskyttede verket ditt uten din tillatelse, kan du følge prosessen skissert her https://no.player.fm/legal.

Now that you have your Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Assessment point value, let’s talk about what it means!

Want to take this episode to the next level? Grab Rosanne’s powerful Mama Making Mindset Matrix

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, Episode 212, Mama Making Mindset Strategy, Gain the Unfair Advantage. Hey, my darling woman, it is so good to be here with you this week as we take what you learned in last week’s episode. That was the Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Assessment.

To the next level. Today we are going to be doing three things. One, I’m going to help you understand what your score and point value on last week’s assessment means by walking you through my Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix so you can gain what I lovingly call the Unfair Advantage. Now, that’s not unfair to other people, it’s unfair to your fucking saboteurs.

We are leveling the playing field against them because your self sabotage pattern banks on you doing nothing new, not noticing what it’s up to, and doing the same old shit all the time. therefore giving it a comfortable space in your brain to continue to keep you stuck in a place of fear, negativity, and doubt on your journey.

So what we’re going to be doing today is throwing it a decided curve ball. Second, I’m going to be sharing two powerful things you must do in light of. Your point value or score. Okay. Just flat out. There’s two things that you’ve got to do regardless. Like if you want to set yourself up for a different result, you really have to do these two things.

And then third, I’m going to invite you to be part of something really awesome that will help you address those two things. Now, if you’re listening to this podcast and want to watch the video where I actually walk you through the fearlessly fertile mama making mindset matrix, Then click the link in the show notes so that you can see the visual that goes along with this or click the button in the email you were sent announcing this episode.

I created this visual so you can actually see where you are on the spectrum and understand the level of urgency you’ve got when it comes to mindset. It’s truly fascinating and is the product of eight years of experience coaching women to fertility success. Now, here’s why what I’m sharing today matters.

Awareness is awesome. It’s the first step in changing anything. However, it’s what you do with that awareness that makes all the difference in the world on this journey. When you know where you stand and you understand the urgency of the need to change, you set yourself up to make better choices and succeed.

You get out of the, oh, it’s not that bad or it’s fine mentality that will keep you stuck losing and can keep you in a place where you block your baby because you give up on yourself, allow other people’s fear to become yours, or you just don’t do the things required to get and stay. Pregnant. Now, I hope I have your attention.

So, let’s walk through the matrix together. Okay, loves, I’m sharing my screen here with you because I want to walk you through the Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix. This is really going to help you begin to understand. your point value that you got in last week’s assessment. So I want to start off by reminding you that look, this is just a tool.

None of this is about making you wrong, making you fearful or anything like that. It’s really about helping you understand. Truly what needs to be addressed where you are on the spectrum and how your mindset may be showing up and the areas that you are going to want to look at and some of the indicators for when really looking at your mindset becomes quite imperative because.

You might be blocking opportunities, might not seeing chances and really might be setting yourself up to fail, give up on yourself and a whole lot of stuff that you are just going to regret. So you want to take a look at your point value from last week’s assessment. So you’ll see down here and you’ll see my cursor.

So what we have here is we’re talking about the stage urgency, Current mindset, the question that seems to dominate the thinking, the overall problem, the current strategy, the pivot point, as well as your point value, and the mama making mindset strategy, okay? That’s really what we are going to be taking all these things and synthesizing to arrive at a strategy for you.

So the first thing is we’re going to take a look, you know, based on your point value, let’s say you got a zero to 11 that puts you either in the stage where you’re kind of fantasizing about having a baby or just getting started. If your point value is between 12 and 22, you’re where I like to call the messy middle where.

You’re beyond getting started, you’re beyond fantasizing, but you’re really starting to kind of notice that things aren’t quite going as you had anticipated. This tends to be earlier in your journey. And then we have point values of 23 to 34, which is what I call the mama making marathon. This is really go time as well as 35 to 45.

So If you really look at this matrix, there’s kind of, there’s a dividing line, essentially here. Once you’re past the messy middle, once things have really gotten interesting for you on this journey, you’re really starting to see that things aren’t quite going as planned and you’re really starting. To be afraid and and things are kind of beyond the the just getting started phase.

This is really when it’s go time. Now, what you’re going to notice is that depending on your point value, which, according to our assessment, was looking at nine different areas, basically on your journey. That spanned anywhere from length of time on the journey to how much time you spend in fear, doubt, negativity, as well as, you know, how much you’re sharing with people.

These are all things that over the past eight years of coaching women to fertility success, I have found are fairly consistent indicators, which is why those nine questions are on that assessment. And they all come together to give us. a thumbnail sketch of where we typically are based on the point value.

So 0 to 11, fairly straightforward. You’re just getting started. Now, if you’re in that category, the mama making mindset strategy, which is what we’re really talking about here is where you are on the spectrum. When it comes to mindset, what are the resources that you’re going to need? You know, if you’re that early in the journey, talking to friends might work, right?

Because You know, maybe some of your friends had a situation where they were, it took them a few months, maybe even a year to get pregnant. So, that kind of support and, and that kind of advice that you might be getting, yeah, that might work. Because currently, if you’re in that state, you’re sort of in a wait and see, let’s just see.

Because nobody starts to panic until, you know, a little bit later in the game, depending on your unique circumstances. So then we have the messy middle. This is where, as I said, huh, this is starting to get interesting. And your current mindset is, let’s see what they say. Okay. You’re, you’re not pressing the panic button.

You’re not particularly scared. You, you haven’t had your confidence shaken just yet, but you know, you might have a situation where you’re starting to question at, let me start looking at some other alternatives doing this on my own might require. Some additional support. So it’s, it’s tends to be earlier in the game.

This is also where you’re dabbling in diet, alternative medicine. And the primary problem is a lack of clarity because you’re not sure really where you land. You’re not clear if you have a serious problem or if this is something that you could just kind of hang out, wait and see, which is why the mindset tends to be wait and see.

And the current strategy is what I call Google shit, right? You’ll just start Googling questions. And again, this is very early, typically in the journey, where Googling things, ah, you might be able to get away with that, get some basic information. That doesn’t mean it’s good information, but it will at least give you some basic information.

Now, the pivot point is, particularly in the messy middle, is getting clear on what you want. You could, the messy middle, I call it that because you can go in one or two of two directions. Generally, you can kind of hang out or you can start pushing yourself over into the mama making marathon. You can find yourself starting to escalate the way that you see the situation quite quickly.

So the way that you get control of your mindset at that point, and really what represents a pivot point on your journey, where things can go either way, they can go, you know, start to improve, or they can start spiraling very quickly, the pivot point is really discovering what you want. And that’s where you find yourself in point value 12 to 22.

And as you’ll see down here in the bottom row, the mama making mindset strategy starts to escalate. You get beyond talking to friends. Now we’re starting to find that you’re in a position where you’re starting to need the support of occasional books, podcasts, you might be DIYing the idea of mindset. You might even be dabbling in online groups, which I strongly encourage you to use with discernment.

I have yet to meet a woman who found that particularly helpful. Most women come to me after some trauma of being on those online groups, which tend to be unmoderated, you know, no hate on those groups. It’s just, there’s a kind of a point when you find yourself in a situation where it’s just not helpful.

Okay. We’ll leave it at that. Now, when you start getting into the point values of 23 and above, This is where you find yourself in what I call the mama making marathon. It’s really go time here. Because here is where you’re going to notice a change in your urgency. There, you’re finding yourself, geez, you’re actually kind of scared now.

Enough time has passed, enough cycles have happened, maybe you have seen lab work that is starting to let you know that ooh, there might be a little bit of an issue here, there might be some things you need to address. And the current mindset when you get into the 23 and above 23 to 34. Point value range is people start to want to try harder to become perfect.

This is where we go into cray cray about our diet. We start freaking out if gluten passes our lips. We start to get anxiety about, you know, am I doing all the things? And the level of stress really starts to go through the roof. Now the primary question that a woman can find herself asking rather consistently when she’s in the 23 to 34 point value range is, What the fuck?

I’m doing all the things and nothing’s working. It can be really a time of panic, it can feel like chaos, and it can feel like the walls are closing in on you. Now, the problem at this stage, and as you’ll see earlier on the spectrum, it’s, you know, you don’t know what you don’t know is the very beginning of your journey.

There’s also a lack of clarity in the messy middle, but here when it’s go time, when you are in the point value of 23 to 34, this is where I see women consistently start to make fear based choices. Lack and scarcity kicks in women start to negotiate on what it is that they actually want. They start to go to extremes when it comes to, hey, I got to do everything instead of really assessing what’s right for them.

This is where we get shiny object syndrome as women were doing 75 things a day to try to support our fertility. And it really starts to Get to a place where fear has taken over. So the primary question, what the fuck I’m doing all the things and nothing is working. That is a strong indicator that, that you are definitely in the marathon and you are also finding yourself in a position where you’re starting to play footsie with professionals.

So this is what, so here’s what I mean by that is you might be jumping from doctor to doctor. You might be, You know, instead of allowing things to, to work themselves through, you’re running from professional to professional and look, there’s nothing wrong with, with, you know, trying to find a great bump squad, but where this starts to break down is it’s shiny object syndrome, as I was mentioning, not really giving any professional the chance to help you that it just starts to get frantic and chaotic.

So that’s what I mean by footsie with professionals, you’re jumping from professional to professional, no overarching strategy, it’s chaotic, it feels frantic, and it feels, it feels like fear, okay? Now the pivot point when it comes to where you’re at, when you’re in the 23 to 34 point value is you’ve really got to make a fucking decision here, okay?

It’s go time. When you are in this half of the matrix, the way that you think and believe is critical. And a lot of times when I see women in chaos, they’re playing footsie with the professionals, as I had mentioned before, it’s because they haven’t made a decision. They have not made a decision to be successful.

They have not made a decision to stand by the way they want to conceive this baby. Their vision is all over the place. It’s not unified and they are not clear. And so when we go down to the mama making mindset strategy section, you know, you’re beyond at this point, if you are in the 23 to 34 point value, you’re way beyond talking to your friends and you’re way beyond occasional books, podcasts, DIY, and online groups without discernment.

Okay. This is where when you, when it’s go time for you and you have a point value between 23 and 34, having some consistent fertility specific structured mindset work based on a proven method, which in my expertise is a group coaching at an absolute minimum. This is where you need to be. Because with all of the things going on, when you have a point value between 23 and 34, trying to figure this out on your own, doing a patchwork approach, DIY, is not going to give you the sufficient level of support to maintain that mindset, to start changing your mindset from a place of fear.

To a place of calm confidence so that you can actually conceive this baby Okay, because it’s also when you are in the 23 to 34 Point value you’re already into some advanced treatment and you’ve been on this journey for a little bit You may also find yourself in a place where you’re you’re hiding things from people in your life You might be in a situation where you’ve tried multiple therapies And it’s really starting to cause you to think, hey, nothing’s going to work here because I’m doing all the things.

Okay, and this is where you really have to get your mindset tuned up. This is where you have to have interventions really beyond DIY if you’re really serious about succeeding. Now, if you’re in the point value of 35 to 45, yes, you are in the mom and making marathon. As I said before, it’s go time. And this is really where we start to feel the kind of urgency that is sounding the alarm.

Like it is now people, I have to really get myself together now because this is really the time for me to have this baby, right? So you may find yourself in your forties having repeated treatment failures. And it’s really time to start to un fuck this and figure out where the gap is in your thinking, how you’re making choices, and really clean up the mess here because you have a baby to have, kay?

This is, this desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you, and Up to this point, things haven’t been working. So when you find yourself in that place, you’re into this, the current mindset of you’re starting to get journey fatigue, journey fatigue is real. Okay. So you’re beyond this sort of 23 to 34 point value where you’re just trying harder to be perfect.

It really starts to amplify from that place. So you’ve done the be perfect thing. You’re still probably holding yourself to an insane standard. But this is where it’s starting to catch up with you and you’re starting to feel fatigued, you’re making decisions that are fatigued, but you’re not quite ready to give up, but you’re seriously like it, it’s, it’s in the background, people around you are starting to talk about, hey, maybe you should give up, maybe you should, you know, adopt all this other stuff, which is, you know, there’s nothing wrong with adoption, but when you have been on this journey long enough, it really sparks a fire in your heart, you really know what you want, And when you’re serious about having this baby, you’re, you’re just not going to give up.

You may love the idea of adoption down the road, but this is not where you’re at right now. And the primary question in the 35 to 45 point value is really, Hey, am I going to live with some regret here? Am I sure that I’m actually doing everything I can to support my success here? Because whether it’s the number of treatments that you’ve had, the amount of time you’ve been on this journey, perhaps it’s age, and, and this isn’t me judging you about age.

I mean, I help women from ages 28 to 52. Like, I’m not worried about your age, but it’s the pressure coming from the outside that can have you really freaking out about your age. But when you have those kinds of pressures, in addition to already having, you know, a clean diet, you’re doing alternatives, it can really drive up your point value and really, you know, have you in that place where you’re sounding the alarm.

So you really are thinking about, Hey, am I going to live with some regret? Now, the problem that you face when you are in the 35 to 45 point value is people are starting to pull their support. You may have your doctor shaking their heads, you know, for better or worse, no judgment here about any of that.

You may start facing scarier statistics. And the pressure just mounts. Okay. And your current strategy is you kind of oscillate between determination. I’m going to have this baby and utter fricking despair. Okay. So this is an indicator that look, your mindset is in a place that really needs daily attention and the pivot point here.

So as you are on the journey, like, you know, obviously the pivot point changes the first level is awareness. Second level is getting clear about what you want. Third is make a fucking decision about what you want. And the pivot point when you’re in the 35 to 45 point value range is you’ve got to make a decision about I’m not leaving without my baby.

And I see this in women all the time. There is a point when you’ve had so many treatments. You’ve had so many interventions, you’ve been on the journey for a while, and let’s say you’re in your 40s where it really is you pivoting by saying, you know what, look, motherfuckers, I’m not leaving without my baby.

That’s really what makes the difference. Okay? And in order to be in that place and to really be in a position where your mindset is supporting where you want to be on this journey, because that’s the whole point of this. How can I get my mindset to support me on my journey? Because as your point value goes up, the more support you need, just based on the facts of the way that you’re currently living your journey, the duration of your journey, the things you’ve been through on your journey, and the current state of things, right?

And where you’re at on the spectrum. So as that goes up, the point value goes up. It makes perfect sense. So when you’re in the 35 to 45 point value, you really need to be working on mindset daily. You have got to have a daily fertility specific structured type of mindset work based on a proven method and group coaching at the absolute minimum is a non negotiable.

If you are in this place, the 35 to 45 point value, you’ve got to be in group coaching at a bare minimum and maybe even considering at some point After you’ve done group coaching to be considering individual one on one coaching at that point, and I have seen women in the 35 to 45 point value absolutely turn their journey around.

I have seen women go from repeated IVF failures, repeated interventions to getting pregnant naturally after doing this kind of work. This is why mindset is so important, because the last thing that I want to say to you about this as we’re. Reviewing this is that your mindset goes everywhere with you, regardless of you have a good day, bad day.

Your head is right here, right there all the time. Your head follows you into your doctor’s appointments. Your head follows you into family gatherings. Your head follows you into baby showers and all the things that are going on in your life. If your head is not right, you are at a distinct disadvantage, right?

Remember what we’re talking about here in this episode is giving you the quote unquote unfair advantage so that you can win on this journey, right? Because ultimately your success on this journey comes down to you and your choices, thoughts, beliefs. Actions results. And when you understand this and you lovingly look at your point value and say, Hey, you know what, this is my current point value.

I’m looking at the mama making mindset strategy. You know, what am I doing here? Because if you’re in the 35 to 45 point value range, but you’re still acting as if you were a 12 to 22, that’s a problem. That’s not a strategy that is consistent with your needs. Right. And this is why we find ourselves spinning.

This is why we find ourselves in puddles of despair and really believing that we can’t have what we want. You have to get the kind of mindset support that, that aligns with where you are at. Okay. If you’re in a place where you are in the 23 to 34 range, putting, you know, putting your hopes on Google and Googling at 3 a.

m. trying to look for answers, that’s not good for you anymore. You are beyond that. You are in a place where you really have to be strategic about your mindset, be consistent, have fertility specific. Support. So if your point value was anywhere between 23 and 45, this is where you really got to get serious doing the DIY route, talking to friends.

That’s not going to support you in the way that you need support. So I hope that this is helpful and, and really helping you assess. Cause the point of this is like, Hey, let me get a sense of where I’m at on the spectrum when it comes to mindset. And when you see yourself engaging these types of behaviors, especially.

In the mama making marathon, the whole from 23 to 45 range, you’ve got to get beyond trying to DIY this. You really need expertise to support you to get to the next level. So I certainly hope this helps you and really gives you a sense of where you’re at and the support that can be super helpful to you so that you can make your dream of being a mom come true.

So that is the fearlessly fertile mama making mindset matrix. So now love that we have walked through the matrix and you understand where you fall in it. There’s two things that you’ve got to do if you’re serious about success on this journey. One, you’ve got to recognize that the way you are thinking is creating blocks to your baby.

You saw your score for yourself. You saw where you landed when it came to the level of urgency, your current mindset, the question that’s in the back of your mind, the problem that you faced and you know, when you’re in the mama making marathon, it begins with fear based choices. We also talked about the current strategy.

Maybe you’re playing footsie with professionals. You’re way beyond Google at that point. And maybe you’re oscillating between determination and despair. You’re not getting clear and you’re not focused and you’re not consistent. And we also talked about the pivot point, right? For most of the women listening to this podcast, you got to make a fucking decision and you’ve got to decide that you’re not leaving without your baby.

If you want to achieve success on this journey. And so the one thing that you’ve got to focus on is you’ve got to recognize the way you are thinking is creating blocks to your baby. Okay. As I said, you saw your score yourself. So when you are serious about success, number one, you’re going to recognize that chances are at some level or another, you are getting in your own way.

Mama, this is not judgment. It’s simply helping you become aware because if you’re committed to success, You want to know the things that you’ve got to know in order to get there, which is my second point. So number one, you’ve got to recognize that the way you’re thinking is creating blocks. Okay, because if you are spinning in fear, you’re making fear based choices, you’re not clear and you’re positioning yourself to make very expensive mistakes.

Okay? Expensive in time, money, opportunity. All that stuff. Okay, then once you have recognized that you are creating blocks to your baby, you’ve got to ask yourself a simple question. What do I need to learn in order to stop blocking my baby now set another way? What do I need to learn to position myself for success?

If this is the place where I’m at, where I’m a 23 to 45, how can I write the ship? What are the things that I need to learn in order to turn things around? Now you may find yourself in a place where maybe you’re a 22. You’re right in that place at the upper end of the messy middle and you’re starting to find yourself in a place where, wow, you might actually start to get scared here about whether or not this baby’s coming.

You know, getting in front of this and asking yourself, what do I need to learn to turn this around is an intensely smart question to be asking. So indeed, while the focus primarily is between the 23 and 45 point value, if you find yourself on the upper end of the high early twenties, you’ve really got to start thinking about it.

And the sooner you get in front of this, the sooner you start to master your mindset. The more trouble you save yourself. Okay. That’s one of the things I hear from women all the time is why the hell didn’t I find you sooner? And nobody ever regrets working on their mindset. Like I’ve yet to meet somebody that was somehow worse off for working on their mindset.

And when you get your mindset on board, the quality of your decisions goes up dramatically. You stop living in the fear, doubt, negativity, the chaos, the disruption in your relationships. You position yourself to make a higher quality decision overall. Think about your answers on the assessment and what you saw on the matrix that I showed you if you opted in to get the video, which I strongly encourage you to do because it’s quite eye opening to see where you are on the spectrum.

It’s super helpful. And, you know, think about the answers that you gave. You know, what are these tools, both the assessment and the matrix, Beginning to tell you, what are they telling you about what you need to learn? You know, are you needing to get out of your negativity and doubt? Are you in a place where you’ve got to get the, get control over your perfectionism?

Cause there’s no such thing as perfection and it’s driving you fucking crazy on this journey. Maybe, if you’re in a place where you’re saying, what the fuck, I’m doing all the things and nothing’s working. This is where working on your mindset is going to be helping you see the gaps. Between where you are and where you want to be, where are the gaps in your understanding?

What opportunities are you not seizing? What chances are you not seeing? What are the moves that you’re not making because you have a saboteur story that’s telling you that what you want is too much, you’re too old, the ship has sailed, right? This is so important. Your mindset is the foundation of your success on this journey.

You may also find yourself in a place where hey, it is time to sound the alarm. Maybe you found yourself, you know, maybe you found your partner in your late forties and you really want to have a family and you’re like, Hey, I’m 48 and trying to conceive. Well, you know, it is go time mama. Like I’m all about you having a baby.

You know, I don’t believe in limits when a woman wants to be a mom. She’s going to freaking find a way. I don’t care how old she is and I’ve got no judgment on it and I frankly don’t think it’s anybody’s business. But there are certain realities where, hey, the circumstances are different when you’re 48 than when you were 28.

Okay, that’s common sense. And you’re going to be needing different kinds of supports. When you find yourself in that place, so zero judgment, but you have to understand it’s time. It’s now or never, right? So, you know, this is also a place where if you find yourself asking, am I going to live with regret?

The number one way that you’re going to guarantee that you don’t live with regret is the way that you think, okay? The way that you think is your insurance policy against regret, and you’re going to find that more people are pulling their support. You’re going to see scarier statistics as you move up in the point value.

On this journey, because even if you’re let’s say you’re in your mid thirties, but you’ve had seven failed rounds of IVF. I mean, you’re going to start hearing some crazy statistics. So even though your age might be a little bit quote unquote younger, you may have other circumstances that really put you in that place where you have to sound the alarm.

Right, where really the urgency is super high. So, think about your answers, what do they tell you? You know, do you have a high level of urgency? Are you scared, but you’re still allowing people to tell you what’s possible for you? You know, are you doing all the things and nothing’s working, yet you’re still expecting that Dr.

Google is gonna help you and straighten the shit out? Right? Is your point value 36, but you’re still acting like your friends are going to be the solution who probably never lived this journey, but you expect them to have the answers, right? Do you see the problem? And when you’ve been on this journey for some time, and you aren’t getting the results you want, but still using the level of resources you did back when you first started, there is a problem.

There is a belief holding you back on this journey, and it’s keeping you stuck. Your mindset is different today than the easy, breezy way you might have started this journey out years ago. And it needs to be treated differently, okay? So if you want to succeed, my love, I am urging you, you have to start thinking differently.

Your mind controls everything. So if you want a different result, you have to learn to think differently. So here’s what I want to encourage you to do right now, write down five things that you think you need to learn in order to be fearless on this journey, write down five things you think you need to learn in order to be fearless on this journey.

And remember that fearless doesn’t mean the absence of fear, it’s being aware that you, you know, you’ve got some fear and doing it anyway. Right. Fearless is, is it’s a mindset. It’s an ethos where you’re like, yeah, I might be afraid, but I’m not stopping. I’m not leaving without my kid. Right. It’s, it’s a decision.

It’s a, it’s a way of being. And remember, if you want to succeed, you’ve got to be aware that there’s a problem and you’ve got to figure out what you need to learn to fix it. Because this is the one thing you have absolute control over on this journey. It’s the one thing, it’s you, it’s the way you think.

And when you master the way that you think, fear, doubt, negativity, worries over the timeline, your age, past failures, and what other people think. All of that shit begins to fall to the wayside because you know how to think. Even when fear shows up, the reality is, you know how to think through it. And seriously, at the end of the day, Do you think any one of the miracle mamas you’ve heard on my podcast gave two shits about what anyone thought of them as they were holding their babies for the first time?

No fucking way. No fucking way. All right. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness and your own success. Now, look at the list that you just created about what you need to learn. You’re smart. What you put on that list is exactly what needs your attention now, guaranteed, because you aren’t stupid, mama.

You’re just scared and that’s okay. The good news is that I can teach you exactly how to overcome these things, not only because I did it myself, but because I teach women all over the world who are extraordinarily successful, how to do it too. My work has touched the lives of thousands of women. And I know you might think to yourself that you’re too far gone, or you think you don’t need help, but look, look at your point value.

You might be wrong, okay? And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, so get your shit together and make a decision today that you’re going to do better, be better, and have better. And if you want my help getting there, this was the third point. Fearlessly fertile, full throttle is open for enrollment. This is my amazing 90 day program, which includes daily bite sized on demand lessons.

That are going to help you start thinking like a woman who succeeds. That means you can do your lessons any time of day, regardless of time zone, travel, work, et cetera. It’s insane. And 50 women are currently in the full throttle graduating class and they’re getting ready to finish up. And I’m so proud of the work that they’re doing.

The transformation is insane. And what’s super cool is this program not only includes daily on demand lessons that you can do on your time. They’re 15 minutes or less. That’s what I mean when I say bite size, it includes access to my private telegram group and three live group coaching calls with me.

This way you have the structure, consistency, and community, which is critical to transforming your mindset. It’s awesome, high vibe, accountability, and incredibly loving sisterhood amongst women who fucking get it. And I love these women, and if you want to do better than just living in fear, doubt, and negativity, and all that mess, Join us in full throttle.

You will love it. Your invite to this program. If you’re in my community came out yesterday and it’s also in today’s show notes, as well as my link tree on Instagram. So no matter where you found yourself on the matrix, my love, I want you to understand that you can turn things around. The coolest thing about work like this assessments and the matrix.

Is it shows you what an impact you can have on your results as you live this journey? You are the common denominator in the best possible way. I have seen women come back from less than 1 percent odds of conceiving with IVF to conceiving naturally. This is the power that you have locked up inside of you and what we’re going to be doing in this program and what I hope that you’re doing between the assessment and the matrix.

And if you choose to join us in fearlessly full throttle is pulling out that brilliance so that you can begin to live this journey in the way that you deserve to calm, confident and at peace that you are not leaving without your baby. And look. Everything has been designed with the kind of love that comes from coaching women to fertility success for the past eight years.

I love what I do and I love helping women become the moms they were meant to be. So if you feel called, join us in fearlessly fertile, full throttle. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

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Now that you have your Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Assessment point value, let’s talk about what it means!

Want to take this episode to the next level? Grab Rosanne’s powerful Mama Making Mindset Matrix

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, Episode 212, Mama Making Mindset Strategy, Gain the Unfair Advantage. Hey, my darling woman, it is so good to be here with you this week as we take what you learned in last week’s episode. That was the Fearlessly Fertile Mindset Assessment.

To the next level. Today we are going to be doing three things. One, I’m going to help you understand what your score and point value on last week’s assessment means by walking you through my Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix so you can gain what I lovingly call the Unfair Advantage. Now, that’s not unfair to other people, it’s unfair to your fucking saboteurs.

We are leveling the playing field against them because your self sabotage pattern banks on you doing nothing new, not noticing what it’s up to, and doing the same old shit all the time. therefore giving it a comfortable space in your brain to continue to keep you stuck in a place of fear, negativity, and doubt on your journey.

So what we’re going to be doing today is throwing it a decided curve ball. Second, I’m going to be sharing two powerful things you must do in light of. Your point value or score. Okay. Just flat out. There’s two things that you’ve got to do regardless. Like if you want to set yourself up for a different result, you really have to do these two things.

And then third, I’m going to invite you to be part of something really awesome that will help you address those two things. Now, if you’re listening to this podcast and want to watch the video where I actually walk you through the fearlessly fertile mama making mindset matrix, Then click the link in the show notes so that you can see the visual that goes along with this or click the button in the email you were sent announcing this episode.

I created this visual so you can actually see where you are on the spectrum and understand the level of urgency you’ve got when it comes to mindset. It’s truly fascinating and is the product of eight years of experience coaching women to fertility success. Now, here’s why what I’m sharing today matters.

Awareness is awesome. It’s the first step in changing anything. However, it’s what you do with that awareness that makes all the difference in the world on this journey. When you know where you stand and you understand the urgency of the need to change, you set yourself up to make better choices and succeed.

You get out of the, oh, it’s not that bad or it’s fine mentality that will keep you stuck losing and can keep you in a place where you block your baby because you give up on yourself, allow other people’s fear to become yours, or you just don’t do the things required to get and stay. Pregnant. Now, I hope I have your attention.

So, let’s walk through the matrix together. Okay, loves, I’m sharing my screen here with you because I want to walk you through the Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix. This is really going to help you begin to understand. your point value that you got in last week’s assessment. So I want to start off by reminding you that look, this is just a tool.

None of this is about making you wrong, making you fearful or anything like that. It’s really about helping you understand. Truly what needs to be addressed where you are on the spectrum and how your mindset may be showing up and the areas that you are going to want to look at and some of the indicators for when really looking at your mindset becomes quite imperative because.

You might be blocking opportunities, might not seeing chances and really might be setting yourself up to fail, give up on yourself and a whole lot of stuff that you are just going to regret. So you want to take a look at your point value from last week’s assessment. So you’ll see down here and you’ll see my cursor.

So what we have here is we’re talking about the stage urgency, Current mindset, the question that seems to dominate the thinking, the overall problem, the current strategy, the pivot point, as well as your point value, and the mama making mindset strategy, okay? That’s really what we are going to be taking all these things and synthesizing to arrive at a strategy for you.

So the first thing is we’re going to take a look, you know, based on your point value, let’s say you got a zero to 11 that puts you either in the stage where you’re kind of fantasizing about having a baby or just getting started. If your point value is between 12 and 22, you’re where I like to call the messy middle where.

You’re beyond getting started, you’re beyond fantasizing, but you’re really starting to kind of notice that things aren’t quite going as you had anticipated. This tends to be earlier in your journey. And then we have point values of 23 to 34, which is what I call the mama making marathon. This is really go time as well as 35 to 45.

So If you really look at this matrix, there’s kind of, there’s a dividing line, essentially here. Once you’re past the messy middle, once things have really gotten interesting for you on this journey, you’re really starting to see that things aren’t quite going as planned and you’re really starting. To be afraid and and things are kind of beyond the the just getting started phase.

This is really when it’s go time. Now, what you’re going to notice is that depending on your point value, which, according to our assessment, was looking at nine different areas, basically on your journey. That spanned anywhere from length of time on the journey to how much time you spend in fear, doubt, negativity, as well as, you know, how much you’re sharing with people.

These are all things that over the past eight years of coaching women to fertility success, I have found are fairly consistent indicators, which is why those nine questions are on that assessment. And they all come together to give us. a thumbnail sketch of where we typically are based on the point value.

So 0 to 11, fairly straightforward. You’re just getting started. Now, if you’re in that category, the mama making mindset strategy, which is what we’re really talking about here is where you are on the spectrum. When it comes to mindset, what are the resources that you’re going to need? You know, if you’re that early in the journey, talking to friends might work, right?

Because You know, maybe some of your friends had a situation where they were, it took them a few months, maybe even a year to get pregnant. So, that kind of support and, and that kind of advice that you might be getting, yeah, that might work. Because currently, if you’re in that state, you’re sort of in a wait and see, let’s just see.

Because nobody starts to panic until, you know, a little bit later in the game, depending on your unique circumstances. So then we have the messy middle. This is where, as I said, huh, this is starting to get interesting. And your current mindset is, let’s see what they say. Okay. You’re, you’re not pressing the panic button.

You’re not particularly scared. You, you haven’t had your confidence shaken just yet, but you know, you might have a situation where you’re starting to question at, let me start looking at some other alternatives doing this on my own might require. Some additional support. So it’s, it’s tends to be earlier in the game.

This is also where you’re dabbling in diet, alternative medicine. And the primary problem is a lack of clarity because you’re not sure really where you land. You’re not clear if you have a serious problem or if this is something that you could just kind of hang out, wait and see, which is why the mindset tends to be wait and see.

And the current strategy is what I call Google shit, right? You’ll just start Googling questions. And again, this is very early, typically in the journey, where Googling things, ah, you might be able to get away with that, get some basic information. That doesn’t mean it’s good information, but it will at least give you some basic information.

Now, the pivot point is, particularly in the messy middle, is getting clear on what you want. You could, the messy middle, I call it that because you can go in one or two of two directions. Generally, you can kind of hang out or you can start pushing yourself over into the mama making marathon. You can find yourself starting to escalate the way that you see the situation quite quickly.

So the way that you get control of your mindset at that point, and really what represents a pivot point on your journey, where things can go either way, they can go, you know, start to improve, or they can start spiraling very quickly, the pivot point is really discovering what you want. And that’s where you find yourself in point value 12 to 22.

And as you’ll see down here in the bottom row, the mama making mindset strategy starts to escalate. You get beyond talking to friends. Now we’re starting to find that you’re in a position where you’re starting to need the support of occasional books, podcasts, you might be DIYing the idea of mindset. You might even be dabbling in online groups, which I strongly encourage you to use with discernment.

I have yet to meet a woman who found that particularly helpful. Most women come to me after some trauma of being on those online groups, which tend to be unmoderated, you know, no hate on those groups. It’s just, there’s a kind of a point when you find yourself in a situation where it’s just not helpful.

Okay. We’ll leave it at that. Now, when you start getting into the point values of 23 and above, This is where you find yourself in what I call the mama making marathon. It’s really go time here. Because here is where you’re going to notice a change in your urgency. There, you’re finding yourself, geez, you’re actually kind of scared now.

Enough time has passed, enough cycles have happened, maybe you have seen lab work that is starting to let you know that ooh, there might be a little bit of an issue here, there might be some things you need to address. And the current mindset when you get into the 23 and above 23 to 34. Point value range is people start to want to try harder to become perfect.

This is where we go into cray cray about our diet. We start freaking out if gluten passes our lips. We start to get anxiety about, you know, am I doing all the things? And the level of stress really starts to go through the roof. Now the primary question that a woman can find herself asking rather consistently when she’s in the 23 to 34 point value range is, What the fuck?

I’m doing all the things and nothing’s working. It can be really a time of panic, it can feel like chaos, and it can feel like the walls are closing in on you. Now, the problem at this stage, and as you’ll see earlier on the spectrum, it’s, you know, you don’t know what you don’t know is the very beginning of your journey.

There’s also a lack of clarity in the messy middle, but here when it’s go time, when you are in the point value of 23 to 34, this is where I see women consistently start to make fear based choices. Lack and scarcity kicks in women start to negotiate on what it is that they actually want. They start to go to extremes when it comes to, hey, I got to do everything instead of really assessing what’s right for them.

This is where we get shiny object syndrome as women were doing 75 things a day to try to support our fertility. And it really starts to Get to a place where fear has taken over. So the primary question, what the fuck I’m doing all the things and nothing is working. That is a strong indicator that, that you are definitely in the marathon and you are also finding yourself in a position where you’re starting to play footsie with professionals.

So this is what, so here’s what I mean by that is you might be jumping from doctor to doctor. You might be, You know, instead of allowing things to, to work themselves through, you’re running from professional to professional and look, there’s nothing wrong with, with, you know, trying to find a great bump squad, but where this starts to break down is it’s shiny object syndrome, as I was mentioning, not really giving any professional the chance to help you that it just starts to get frantic and chaotic.

So that’s what I mean by footsie with professionals, you’re jumping from professional to professional, no overarching strategy, it’s chaotic, it feels frantic, and it feels, it feels like fear, okay? Now the pivot point when it comes to where you’re at, when you’re in the 23 to 34 point value is you’ve really got to make a fucking decision here, okay?

It’s go time. When you are in this half of the matrix, the way that you think and believe is critical. And a lot of times when I see women in chaos, they’re playing footsie with the professionals, as I had mentioned before, it’s because they haven’t made a decision. They have not made a decision to be successful.

They have not made a decision to stand by the way they want to conceive this baby. Their vision is all over the place. It’s not unified and they are not clear. And so when we go down to the mama making mindset strategy section, you know, you’re beyond at this point, if you are in the 23 to 34 point value, you’re way beyond talking to your friends and you’re way beyond occasional books, podcasts, DIY, and online groups without discernment.

Okay. This is where when you, when it’s go time for you and you have a point value between 23 and 34, having some consistent fertility specific structured mindset work based on a proven method, which in my expertise is a group coaching at an absolute minimum. This is where you need to be. Because with all of the things going on, when you have a point value between 23 and 34, trying to figure this out on your own, doing a patchwork approach, DIY, is not going to give you the sufficient level of support to maintain that mindset, to start changing your mindset from a place of fear.

To a place of calm confidence so that you can actually conceive this baby Okay, because it’s also when you are in the 23 to 34 Point value you’re already into some advanced treatment and you’ve been on this journey for a little bit You may also find yourself in a place where you’re you’re hiding things from people in your life You might be in a situation where you’ve tried multiple therapies And it’s really starting to cause you to think, hey, nothing’s going to work here because I’m doing all the things.

Okay, and this is where you really have to get your mindset tuned up. This is where you have to have interventions really beyond DIY if you’re really serious about succeeding. Now, if you’re in the point value of 35 to 45, yes, you are in the mom and making marathon. As I said before, it’s go time. And this is really where we start to feel the kind of urgency that is sounding the alarm.

Like it is now people, I have to really get myself together now because this is really the time for me to have this baby, right? So you may find yourself in your forties having repeated treatment failures. And it’s really time to start to un fuck this and figure out where the gap is in your thinking, how you’re making choices, and really clean up the mess here because you have a baby to have, kay?

This is, this desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you, and Up to this point, things haven’t been working. So when you find yourself in that place, you’re into this, the current mindset of you’re starting to get journey fatigue, journey fatigue is real. Okay. So you’re beyond this sort of 23 to 34 point value where you’re just trying harder to be perfect.

It really starts to amplify from that place. So you’ve done the be perfect thing. You’re still probably holding yourself to an insane standard. But this is where it’s starting to catch up with you and you’re starting to feel fatigued, you’re making decisions that are fatigued, but you’re not quite ready to give up, but you’re seriously like it, it’s, it’s in the background, people around you are starting to talk about, hey, maybe you should give up, maybe you should, you know, adopt all this other stuff, which is, you know, there’s nothing wrong with adoption, but when you have been on this journey long enough, it really sparks a fire in your heart, you really know what you want, And when you’re serious about having this baby, you’re, you’re just not going to give up.

You may love the idea of adoption down the road, but this is not where you’re at right now. And the primary question in the 35 to 45 point value is really, Hey, am I going to live with some regret here? Am I sure that I’m actually doing everything I can to support my success here? Because whether it’s the number of treatments that you’ve had, the amount of time you’ve been on this journey, perhaps it’s age, and, and this isn’t me judging you about age.

I mean, I help women from ages 28 to 52. Like, I’m not worried about your age, but it’s the pressure coming from the outside that can have you really freaking out about your age. But when you have those kinds of pressures, in addition to already having, you know, a clean diet, you’re doing alternatives, it can really drive up your point value and really, you know, have you in that place where you’re sounding the alarm.

So you really are thinking about, Hey, am I going to live with some regret? Now, the problem that you face when you are in the 35 to 45 point value is people are starting to pull their support. You may have your doctor shaking their heads, you know, for better or worse, no judgment here about any of that.

You may start facing scarier statistics. And the pressure just mounts. Okay. And your current strategy is you kind of oscillate between determination. I’m going to have this baby and utter fricking despair. Okay. So this is an indicator that look, your mindset is in a place that really needs daily attention and the pivot point here.

So as you are on the journey, like, you know, obviously the pivot point changes the first level is awareness. Second level is getting clear about what you want. Third is make a fucking decision about what you want. And the pivot point when you’re in the 35 to 45 point value range is you’ve got to make a decision about I’m not leaving without my baby.

And I see this in women all the time. There is a point when you’ve had so many treatments. You’ve had so many interventions, you’ve been on the journey for a while, and let’s say you’re in your 40s where it really is you pivoting by saying, you know what, look, motherfuckers, I’m not leaving without my baby.

That’s really what makes the difference. Okay? And in order to be in that place and to really be in a position where your mindset is supporting where you want to be on this journey, because that’s the whole point of this. How can I get my mindset to support me on my journey? Because as your point value goes up, the more support you need, just based on the facts of the way that you’re currently living your journey, the duration of your journey, the things you’ve been through on your journey, and the current state of things, right?

And where you’re at on the spectrum. So as that goes up, the point value goes up. It makes perfect sense. So when you’re in the 35 to 45 point value, you really need to be working on mindset daily. You have got to have a daily fertility specific structured type of mindset work based on a proven method and group coaching at the absolute minimum is a non negotiable.

If you are in this place, the 35 to 45 point value, you’ve got to be in group coaching at a bare minimum and maybe even considering at some point After you’ve done group coaching to be considering individual one on one coaching at that point, and I have seen women in the 35 to 45 point value absolutely turn their journey around.

I have seen women go from repeated IVF failures, repeated interventions to getting pregnant naturally after doing this kind of work. This is why mindset is so important, because the last thing that I want to say to you about this as we’re. Reviewing this is that your mindset goes everywhere with you, regardless of you have a good day, bad day.

Your head is right here, right there all the time. Your head follows you into your doctor’s appointments. Your head follows you into family gatherings. Your head follows you into baby showers and all the things that are going on in your life. If your head is not right, you are at a distinct disadvantage, right?

Remember what we’re talking about here in this episode is giving you the quote unquote unfair advantage so that you can win on this journey, right? Because ultimately your success on this journey comes down to you and your choices, thoughts, beliefs. Actions results. And when you understand this and you lovingly look at your point value and say, Hey, you know what, this is my current point value.

I’m looking at the mama making mindset strategy. You know, what am I doing here? Because if you’re in the 35 to 45 point value range, but you’re still acting as if you were a 12 to 22, that’s a problem. That’s not a strategy that is consistent with your needs. Right. And this is why we find ourselves spinning.

This is why we find ourselves in puddles of despair and really believing that we can’t have what we want. You have to get the kind of mindset support that, that aligns with where you are at. Okay. If you’re in a place where you are in the 23 to 34 range, putting, you know, putting your hopes on Google and Googling at 3 a.

m. trying to look for answers, that’s not good for you anymore. You are beyond that. You are in a place where you really have to be strategic about your mindset, be consistent, have fertility specific. Support. So if your point value was anywhere between 23 and 45, this is where you really got to get serious doing the DIY route, talking to friends.

That’s not going to support you in the way that you need support. So I hope that this is helpful and, and really helping you assess. Cause the point of this is like, Hey, let me get a sense of where I’m at on the spectrum when it comes to mindset. And when you see yourself engaging these types of behaviors, especially.

In the mama making marathon, the whole from 23 to 45 range, you’ve got to get beyond trying to DIY this. You really need expertise to support you to get to the next level. So I certainly hope this helps you and really gives you a sense of where you’re at and the support that can be super helpful to you so that you can make your dream of being a mom come true.

So that is the fearlessly fertile mama making mindset matrix. So now love that we have walked through the matrix and you understand where you fall in it. There’s two things that you’ve got to do if you’re serious about success on this journey. One, you’ve got to recognize that the way you are thinking is creating blocks to your baby.

You saw your score for yourself. You saw where you landed when it came to the level of urgency, your current mindset, the question that’s in the back of your mind, the problem that you faced and you know, when you’re in the mama making marathon, it begins with fear based choices. We also talked about the current strategy.

Maybe you’re playing footsie with professionals. You’re way beyond Google at that point. And maybe you’re oscillating between determination and despair. You’re not getting clear and you’re not focused and you’re not consistent. And we also talked about the pivot point, right? For most of the women listening to this podcast, you got to make a fucking decision and you’ve got to decide that you’re not leaving without your baby.

If you want to achieve success on this journey. And so the one thing that you’ve got to focus on is you’ve got to recognize the way you are thinking is creating blocks to your baby. Okay. As I said, you saw your score yourself. So when you are serious about success, number one, you’re going to recognize that chances are at some level or another, you are getting in your own way.

Mama, this is not judgment. It’s simply helping you become aware because if you’re committed to success, You want to know the things that you’ve got to know in order to get there, which is my second point. So number one, you’ve got to recognize that the way you’re thinking is creating blocks. Okay, because if you are spinning in fear, you’re making fear based choices, you’re not clear and you’re positioning yourself to make very expensive mistakes.

Okay? Expensive in time, money, opportunity. All that stuff. Okay, then once you have recognized that you are creating blocks to your baby, you’ve got to ask yourself a simple question. What do I need to learn in order to stop blocking my baby now set another way? What do I need to learn to position myself for success?

If this is the place where I’m at, where I’m a 23 to 45, how can I write the ship? What are the things that I need to learn in order to turn things around? Now you may find yourself in a place where maybe you’re a 22. You’re right in that place at the upper end of the messy middle and you’re starting to find yourself in a place where, wow, you might actually start to get scared here about whether or not this baby’s coming.

You know, getting in front of this and asking yourself, what do I need to learn to turn this around is an intensely smart question to be asking. So indeed, while the focus primarily is between the 23 and 45 point value, if you find yourself on the upper end of the high early twenties, you’ve really got to start thinking about it.

And the sooner you get in front of this, the sooner you start to master your mindset. The more trouble you save yourself. Okay. That’s one of the things I hear from women all the time is why the hell didn’t I find you sooner? And nobody ever regrets working on their mindset. Like I’ve yet to meet somebody that was somehow worse off for working on their mindset.

And when you get your mindset on board, the quality of your decisions goes up dramatically. You stop living in the fear, doubt, negativity, the chaos, the disruption in your relationships. You position yourself to make a higher quality decision overall. Think about your answers on the assessment and what you saw on the matrix that I showed you if you opted in to get the video, which I strongly encourage you to do because it’s quite eye opening to see where you are on the spectrum.

It’s super helpful. And, you know, think about the answers that you gave. You know, what are these tools, both the assessment and the matrix, Beginning to tell you, what are they telling you about what you need to learn? You know, are you needing to get out of your negativity and doubt? Are you in a place where you’ve got to get the, get control over your perfectionism?

Cause there’s no such thing as perfection and it’s driving you fucking crazy on this journey. Maybe, if you’re in a place where you’re saying, what the fuck, I’m doing all the things and nothing’s working. This is where working on your mindset is going to be helping you see the gaps. Between where you are and where you want to be, where are the gaps in your understanding?

What opportunities are you not seizing? What chances are you not seeing? What are the moves that you’re not making because you have a saboteur story that’s telling you that what you want is too much, you’re too old, the ship has sailed, right? This is so important. Your mindset is the foundation of your success on this journey.

You may also find yourself in a place where hey, it is time to sound the alarm. Maybe you found yourself, you know, maybe you found your partner in your late forties and you really want to have a family and you’re like, Hey, I’m 48 and trying to conceive. Well, you know, it is go time mama. Like I’m all about you having a baby.

You know, I don’t believe in limits when a woman wants to be a mom. She’s going to freaking find a way. I don’t care how old she is and I’ve got no judgment on it and I frankly don’t think it’s anybody’s business. But there are certain realities where, hey, the circumstances are different when you’re 48 than when you were 28.

Okay, that’s common sense. And you’re going to be needing different kinds of supports. When you find yourself in that place, so zero judgment, but you have to understand it’s time. It’s now or never, right? So, you know, this is also a place where if you find yourself asking, am I going to live with regret?

The number one way that you’re going to guarantee that you don’t live with regret is the way that you think, okay? The way that you think is your insurance policy against regret, and you’re going to find that more people are pulling their support. You’re going to see scarier statistics as you move up in the point value.

On this journey, because even if you’re let’s say you’re in your mid thirties, but you’ve had seven failed rounds of IVF. I mean, you’re going to start hearing some crazy statistics. So even though your age might be a little bit quote unquote younger, you may have other circumstances that really put you in that place where you have to sound the alarm.

Right, where really the urgency is super high. So, think about your answers, what do they tell you? You know, do you have a high level of urgency? Are you scared, but you’re still allowing people to tell you what’s possible for you? You know, are you doing all the things and nothing’s working, yet you’re still expecting that Dr.

Google is gonna help you and straighten the shit out? Right? Is your point value 36, but you’re still acting like your friends are going to be the solution who probably never lived this journey, but you expect them to have the answers, right? Do you see the problem? And when you’ve been on this journey for some time, and you aren’t getting the results you want, but still using the level of resources you did back when you first started, there is a problem.

There is a belief holding you back on this journey, and it’s keeping you stuck. Your mindset is different today than the easy, breezy way you might have started this journey out years ago. And it needs to be treated differently, okay? So if you want to succeed, my love, I am urging you, you have to start thinking differently.

Your mind controls everything. So if you want a different result, you have to learn to think differently. So here’s what I want to encourage you to do right now, write down five things that you think you need to learn in order to be fearless on this journey, write down five things you think you need to learn in order to be fearless on this journey.

And remember that fearless doesn’t mean the absence of fear, it’s being aware that you, you know, you’ve got some fear and doing it anyway. Right. Fearless is, is it’s a mindset. It’s an ethos where you’re like, yeah, I might be afraid, but I’m not stopping. I’m not leaving without my kid. Right. It’s, it’s a decision.

It’s a, it’s a way of being. And remember, if you want to succeed, you’ve got to be aware that there’s a problem and you’ve got to figure out what you need to learn to fix it. Because this is the one thing you have absolute control over on this journey. It’s the one thing, it’s you, it’s the way you think.

And when you master the way that you think, fear, doubt, negativity, worries over the timeline, your age, past failures, and what other people think. All of that shit begins to fall to the wayside because you know how to think. Even when fear shows up, the reality is, you know how to think through it. And seriously, at the end of the day, Do you think any one of the miracle mamas you’ve heard on my podcast gave two shits about what anyone thought of them as they were holding their babies for the first time?

No fucking way. No fucking way. All right. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness and your own success. Now, look at the list that you just created about what you need to learn. You’re smart. What you put on that list is exactly what needs your attention now, guaranteed, because you aren’t stupid, mama.

You’re just scared and that’s okay. The good news is that I can teach you exactly how to overcome these things, not only because I did it myself, but because I teach women all over the world who are extraordinarily successful, how to do it too. My work has touched the lives of thousands of women. And I know you might think to yourself that you’re too far gone, or you think you don’t need help, but look, look at your point value.

You might be wrong, okay? And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, so get your shit together and make a decision today that you’re going to do better, be better, and have better. And if you want my help getting there, this was the third point. Fearlessly fertile, full throttle is open for enrollment. This is my amazing 90 day program, which includes daily bite sized on demand lessons.

That are going to help you start thinking like a woman who succeeds. That means you can do your lessons any time of day, regardless of time zone, travel, work, et cetera. It’s insane. And 50 women are currently in the full throttle graduating class and they’re getting ready to finish up. And I’m so proud of the work that they’re doing.

The transformation is insane. And what’s super cool is this program not only includes daily on demand lessons that you can do on your time. They’re 15 minutes or less. That’s what I mean when I say bite size, it includes access to my private telegram group and three live group coaching calls with me.

This way you have the structure, consistency, and community, which is critical to transforming your mindset. It’s awesome, high vibe, accountability, and incredibly loving sisterhood amongst women who fucking get it. And I love these women, and if you want to do better than just living in fear, doubt, and negativity, and all that mess, Join us in full throttle.

You will love it. Your invite to this program. If you’re in my community came out yesterday and it’s also in today’s show notes, as well as my link tree on Instagram. So no matter where you found yourself on the matrix, my love, I want you to understand that you can turn things around. The coolest thing about work like this assessments and the matrix.

Is it shows you what an impact you can have on your results as you live this journey? You are the common denominator in the best possible way. I have seen women come back from less than 1 percent odds of conceiving with IVF to conceiving naturally. This is the power that you have locked up inside of you and what we’re going to be doing in this program and what I hope that you’re doing between the assessment and the matrix.

And if you choose to join us in fearlessly full throttle is pulling out that brilliance so that you can begin to live this journey in the way that you deserve to calm, confident and at peace that you are not leaving without your baby. And look. Everything has been designed with the kind of love that comes from coaching women to fertility success for the past eight years.

I love what I do and I love helping women become the moms they were meant to be. So if you feel called, join us in fearlessly fertile, full throttle. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast. Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

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