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EP237 Gut Health = Fertility? A Conversation with Monica Cox, Founder of Finding Fertility

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Innhold levert av Rosanne Austin. Alt podcastinnhold, inkludert episoder, grafikk og podcastbeskrivelser, lastes opp og leveres direkte av Rosanne Austin eller deres podcastplattformpartner. Hvis du tror at noen bruker det opphavsrettsbeskyttede verket ditt uten din tillatelse, kan du følge prosessen skissert her https://no.player.fm/legal.

When struggling with fertility, the conventional approach is to immediately look to our lady parts for the answer. While that’s a sensible and obvious move, what about the not so obvious sh*t? You know that I teach all about the power of mindset and it’s connection to your fertility success. Monica’s piece of the puzzle is looking at your fertility from a holistic, functional perspective. Join us for a conversation that can help YOU find your fertility.

Check out Monica’s work here: https://www.findingfertility.co

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast episode 237. Gut health equals fertility? A conversation with Monica Cox, founder of Finding Fertility. Hey loves, I’m so excited for the interview that I’m sharing with you this week because I don’t know by now you probably have figured out that at Fearlessly Fertile We like to look at things outside of the box.

We are not much for convention. Because when you rely on convention, you get conventional results. And a lot of times, conventional results are just kind of boring and laden with statistics that you don’t want to be a part of. It’s fairly logical, right? Because when you’re looking to beat the odds, when you are looking to not be part of the spooky statistics, You have got to be looking in places that most people don’t.

This is why, in my world, we focus in on the power of mindset. Mindset is the foundation of everything we do. It, it dictates your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and results, right? Now, Monica’s piece of the puzzle is looking at your fertility from a holistic, functional perspective, which is why I wanted to have her on.

This is all about looking in the not so obvious places to help you get not so obvious results. And I love Monica’s take on this because it really is about empowering women with more information about their bodies that they might not always get from a more conventional perspective, right? And when it comes to our fertility, the more empowered we are, the fucking better.

So here is my conversation with the absolutely fantastic Monica Cox, founder of Finding Fertility. Let’s go! I’m super stoked to have you here. And so let’s start off the conversation with you sharing with the women listening a little bit about what it is that you do. Yeah. So I am a holistic functional fertility health coach.

I help create conscious mamas that you were born to be this way and really figuring out where the root cause of your fertility issues lie. And helping you hyper focus on that and hyper focus on the woman that is inside of you and just screaming to get out. And usually when you switch your focus on the inner work and the physical work that you might need to do, you start seeing the possibilities really open up in your life, which includes creating your dream family.

Mm. I love that. And I love the way that you say that. And you know, what’s interesting is, you know, having done this work for as long as I have, and you probably see this in your work as well. Like the first thing that women do is like run to think there’s something physically wrong. Yeah. It’s really stunning.

And, and what’s also interesting is we don’t look at our bodies in a loving way. Typically. We’re thinking, what’s wrong with me? It must be because I’m too old. Like we don’t really, it’s, it’s very punitive as opposed to supportive. What do you think? Yeah, absolutely. Especially when it comes to fertility to be, you know, really harsh.

Most of our fertility issues stem from the decades of not loving ourselves. And not being aware that our body works as one, not being aware how we need to support and love our bodies physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically. And then all of a sudden we think, you know, for a lot of us, we don’t think anything’s wrong.

Or maybe we do have a diagnosis and there’s nothing we can do about it. And then we get to the stage of wanting to create a family. And then it’s like, well, I’m broken. I need the medical system to fix me. Or that’s the only way I can have a baby. And the reality of 90 percent of women dealing with fertility issues.

Now, if they just go inwards, really find that root cause, they can minimize the medical support that they need or choose to have, right. I really believe there’s a difference between needing and choosing, but really just empowering ourselves. Like, okay. I’m not functioning correctly here. Now, what can I do to empower myself and really move through this journey?

I love the way that you say that, because I think empowerment is the key. And I think that when it comes to our physical health. There’s not a lot of that happening, right? It’s like, it’s like, oh man, right? The minute we, you know, there’s also so much fear out there that, okay, I’m over 35, so it’s going to be a freaking mess from here on out.

Right. If you even look at the language, the geriatric pregnancy, you know, high risk, all of those things. I mean, even if you have a high risk pregnancy, I mean, it’s such a negative connotation as opposed to let’s look at this from the perspective that this woman might need some additional support. Even the language around it is kind of toxic.

Yeah, it’s awful. I mean, so my first live birth was an IVF baby. And so in the United Kingdom, for whatever reason, they just deemed those very different than a natural pregnancy. And one midwife just kind of was like, Well, because you guys had to go through so much to get it, we just kind of tend to put you in this little category in this box.

But which is nice, but at the same time is awful. And then my natural pregnancy, I was over 35, I was 36. So I was old, this was an old pregnancy. And so I was very much treated very differently when I was pregnant with both of my babies. And, you know, going back to, well, you’re 35, it’s all downhill from there.

Well, I’m telling you with so much like conviction and truth and like, I am rock solid has nothing to do with your age. It has to do with your cellular health and your cellular health is dictated on your environment, your lifestyle and age comes into it because we’ve unknowingly have beat ourselves up over the decades.

And so sometimes we are a little bit too far gone, but not because we’re 35, it’s just because maybe our genetics played out that way. And we really just, the stress levels for 30 years were so high. That it attacks your endocrine system, it attacks your hormones, it attacks your ovaries. And unfortunately, the medical system just put you in this box and is like, there’s nothing you can do about it.

Well, tell me how I couldn’t get pregnant with a medical assistance between the age of 27 and 34, but I got pregnant naturally at 36. Make that make sense. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love how you say that because There’s so, it, it’s like the, the system, like if we think of it in the larger sense, the system, there are some really awesome aspects of it, like trauma, you know, like if you, if you have a traumatic injury, you want the system, right.

You know, but this is something very different. Getting and staying pregnant is like this. We’re in the realm of the miraculous. You really think about that. It’s something beyond just putting an egg and a sperm together. Because if that, if it was that simple, we’d have one round of IVF and no one would ever suffer.

Exactly. Kind of to your similar point that like, you know, if, if this was just, you know, if there’s just one aspect of this, tell me how I’m more fertile older than I was younger. Right. And I think that as the women listening to this are taking this information in, I think it’s really empowering for women to think out of the box when it comes to this, you know?

And so let’s talk about cause when I was listening to your podcast, it was really interesting to me the way that you zeroed in on gut health and really looking at the body as a whole. So let’s talk about that. Like as a practitioner. Yeah. When somebody comes to you who is struggling with fertility from a physical standpoint, what are you looking at?

Yeah, we’re, we’re attacking where the inflammation and the oxidative stress is coming from. And there’s two main places. It’s your gut health, and then it’s your mental and emotional health, which is your stress, right? So if your gut and your brain are connected, so they’re intertwined. But I would go out on a limb and say everyone dealing with fertility issues needs to fix their gut at a certain level.

Some people are really need support and some people just need to increase their diversity to boost their gut microbiome. But a lot of people are dealing with leaky gut and why, why it affects your fertility is these food particles get into your bloodstream, it starts ramping up your immune system going, hey, attack, attack, attack, something foreign is in the body.

And this causes a lot of inflammation and oxidative stress. Now, your ovaries live in your body. Your womb and your ovaries do not, they’re not separate. They are not in this glass box and they, they. They are living in this environment. So if they’re living in a, in a toxic situation, your body is just going to be like, well, I don’t have enough nutrients to give to that.

And on top of that, we’re got chaos going here. And so I don’t know why the medical system has completely disconnected that your egg is one of the largest cells in your body, right? If your cells. Are reactive to your environment. Your eggs are going to either be great or be bad depending on what type of environment your body is in.

So we always are looking at your normal and common health issues. We know that your fertility is. It just dysfunctioning right now, we know it’s all there. Your doctors have looked, we can confirm that that’s not an area that we need to hyper focus on. So we’re upstream, right? Everything starts in your brain, your hypothalamus, your pituitary, your penile gland kick starts everything connected to your hormones and your fertility.

And then your gut, I mean, it’s, if you just think of it, your nutrients comes from your gut, everything you put in your mouth. Your gut has to handle. So. Do I believe you are what you eat? Yes. If that’s a consistent thing you’re doing to your body, if you have a snicker bar once a month, no, you’re not the Snickers bar, but if you are eating a Snickers bar every day, I’m sorry, girl, you are a Snickers bar.

And that is not an environment that you would want to grow a baby in, right? Um, chemicals and yes, artificial sweeteners and quasi nuts. Yeah. I might be talking about this Monica. Like I know what a Snickers bar is. I can’t remember the last time I actually had one, but. It was my favorite candy bar. Well, let’s go back a little bit because even though we banter leaky gut around, because you and I both know there may be women out there that don’t quite know, they may have heard this somewhere in passing, but I would love it if you would share like, what exactly is leaky gut when we’re talking about that?

What does that actually mean? Yeah. So your gut is like a shag carpet. It has these like little tentacles, right? And usually the, the junctions are pretty tight. And you’re only if you have a good gut microbiome, it’s assimilating that food and bringing it out to the rest of your body, where if those shag carpets start opening up and they get really worn down, they can’t take in the nutrients for one, and they’re starting to let other things go into your bloodstream.

And so that’s what leaky gut is. And that’s where a lot of autoimmune issues lie. Your immune system is huge in your gut. And then it’s obviously all throughout your body. You have these natural killer cells that when you have a cold, they start defending you. A fever is a perfect example. You want a fever.

You want to be burning off whatever’s in your body. But when you when your natural killer cells or any other kind of element of your body is on alert all the time, it starts to dysfunction. And it’s like, I don’t know what to do. I need to do something. So I’m going to start attacking something. So that’s where thyroid issues come from.

This is where reoccurring miscarriages, one, one reason why this would happen. And this was my issue, Kind of twofold, but, um, my, uh, an embryo is a foreign agent until the placenta takes over. So, your body innately knows that that foreign agent is safe and is allowed to be there. But when your immune system is on overdrive, they’re like, uh uh, nope, nope, attack, attack, attack.

So you’re, you can get an implantation, you might go for a few days, a few weeks, and then your body’s like, nope, foreign agent will take away from it. And if that’s happening, it’s highly likely you have a lot of inflammation and oxidative stress. Your A qualities can be low too. So it’s almost twofold. Oh, you know, it’s stunning to me with how beautifully and simply you explain that it makes complete sense.

That all of these things are connected, but that’s not information that when we first enter the world of fertility that we get much up unless we’re consciously seeking that, like, it just blows my mind. And I’m super grateful that you explained it in that really concise and precise way, because it even in the explanation that you give, it makes it clear we can do something about it.

Yeah, rather than just pounding our immune system with suppressants and all this other stuff like there’s other avenues. Yeah, I mean the sad reality now is that a lot of women are obviously unhealthy enough for the body. I believe fertility issues is a way for your body to say, I’m not healthy enough to grow a human being right now.

Can you please take care of yourself first? I don’t have enough to give. So if you get that message and go, okay, what can I do? That’s great. And you can start improving while using a medical assistance. That’s what I did. But what’s happening is we’re not listening and we’re jumping into these rounds of IVF and IUIs.

And we’re bombarding the body so much that a lot of my clients come to me sicker than they probably were when, before they started fertility treatments because their body just can’t handle it. They can’t handle the overload of drugs and it’s really important to understand that this isn’t a walk in the park for anyone who’s done IVF.

It is hard on your body. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. And I don’t know how, whoever is their marketing agent, they are doing a very good job of preying on our fears. And just going, okay, quick, get in there, especially if you’re older, you know, I get clients in above 37 and those clinics are like, you should have done it six months ago.

And I’m just sitting there going like, slow down, trust me, those clinics are going to be there for you in six months. You’re just probably going to have a better experience if you take care of your health first. A hundred percent. I mean, there’s a, at the time of this recording, I mean, there’s a woman that.

We interviewed who came through my program. She’s 46 and holding a newborn that she conceived naturally after IVF failed. I mean, I bet you see this, this all the time as well, where, and her story is so interesting because so much of what she was doing was fear based and like I tell women all the time, fear based choices suck.

It’s not you and your power. It’s not you and your consciousness saying, okay, I want to take, I I’m ready for this, the step of IVF. I’m also ready to take care of my gut health and all of these other aspects of my life. I don’t know about you, Monica. I get the impression that you and I are on the same page that you don’t have to pick a side.

It’s really about doing what’s right for you because there are women that legitimately, for whatever reason, need the support or choose the support of IVF. And it’s not one or the other. It’s about really giving yourself the best possible option that is in conscious choice versus fear. Absolutely. It’s tapping into your intuition.

Is this the right move for me right now? And we outsource our power, right? We listen to the experts, even us coaches. Like, you know, a lot of my clients sometimes like, are like, what did you just say? I’m like, you have to make that decision for yourself. I can’t tell you the right answer. You know? Yeah. Do I, do I have some advice?

Do I have some guidance? Of course, but I’m not going to be the doctor who’s sitting there saying you have to do this. This is your only path, right? You have to go into that intuition and say, is this right for me? And you’ll be really surprised of what your body can tell you. Your body always has the answers.

If you just sit still long enough to listen, and that’s probably the problem with our community is we’re all type A. We’re all these overachievers and doers. Yeah, it’s really interesting. And, you know, when you, when you break it down like that, because I think we try to apply what made us successful in the workplace to what we do on this journey.

I mean, I focus in on women who are lovably type A control freaky professionals. I mean, like that were like me when I was going through it. I mean, I was a prosecutor at the time. And so I kind of looked at my fertility in the same way that I would, you know, be looking for a in, you know, in my profession, as I said, in the very beginning.

We’re in the realm of the miraculous, like our bodies are these miraculous machines that are full of divine intelligence, but we treat it as if it’s not that, as you were saying earlier, this idea that we’re broken. But I think it’s really about unlocking our body’s own natural ability to heal.

Absolutely. Your body is a healing machine. Like, Literally everyone would be dead by 25 if your body was not healing, right? Let’s just put it out there. You do some pretty damaging stuff to yourself through stress, through overachieving, through the food, through the drinking, your body would have died by now.

So if you can change that mindset and go, wow, thank you for keeping me alive. What will you do for me if I actually take care of you? If I actually slow down, if I eat well, if I take time to go through it, like discover any traumas that are emotionally blocking me, what are my subconscious beliefs even about motherhood?

Do I feel worthy to be a mom, right? You can’t overdrive your way out of fertility and yes, IVF can get you pregnant, but there’s a whole nother podcast episode about the risks you put yourself in during that pregnancy, during labor and postpartum and the risk you’re putting your child’s health in. Yeah.

I think it’s really, I think when women allow themselves like number one. To want what they want. First of all, you’re not wrong for wanting this child. Like no matter what age you are, if this is on your heart, it’s meant for you. There’s something there for you. And when you allow yourself to want what you want, and then you start to say, okay.

I don’t want to go about this with fear and that’s such a giant pendulum swing, Monica, because the first thing like I’ve heard women tell me, okay, I got married, I’m 35, we got to get on this baby train like right away, like not even giving themselves that feminine comfort of settling into their partnership, marriage, whatever it is, and lovingly calling this baby in.

And it’s, I think you’re a hundred percent right that it is this mindset shift, not just. In the way that we look at ourselves, but I think in the way that we look at the conversation about fertility, completely across the board is saying, let’s change this conversation so that it’s not fear-based. It’s about possibility instead.

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it’s so important to just realize that fertility has been taken for granted for centuries, and it definitely. Should be right. If we are healthy, functioning women, we shouldn’t have to overthink it. But over the years, our genetics have just been for lack of better word, dumbed down.

We are getting sicker and sicker and sicker. And we didn’t realize that we were passing this on to our children. Right? So technically I was infertile by 17. I had a full blown auto immune auto immune issue. And in hindsight, I wasn’t lucky with my high school boyfriend, but the cool thing is, if you realize that, and if you’re like, I’m gonna start doing everything in my power, it’s all reversible.

And, and that’s why I say, so, infertile at 17, pregnant naturally at 36. That’s why it’s down to your cellular health. Not your age. I think that’s such a powerful message that women need to be hearing now. Because so much of it is just like, you know, typically, I mean, when I was going through fertility treatment, you know, the first thing you hear is age.

And it’s like, it’s but one piece of information, as opposed to the entire picture. So I think, you know, what you’re drawing everybody’s attention to is, hey, let’s Let’s look beyond that. It’s a factor. Let’s, let’s be aware of it because we’re not in denial, but we also don’t have to be in a place of despair.

Yeah, absolutely. It’s really taking your situation and flipping it to what can I do with it? Not like, Oh, this is me. I’m going to sit here forever. Time is going to pass anyways. And I know for me and my journey, I, I went extreme, I will admit that, but I never wanted to look back because I spent over five years not even getting pregnant and with doing IVF.

So. There was a real, uh, reality that I might not be a mom. So I wanted to be able to walk away from that, proud of myself, knowing I left no stone unturned. And I didn’t want to look back and go, I wish I would have just tried that. I wish I would have just tried that. And let me make Let me be perfectly honest.

I tried stuff that was not healthy. Oh yeah. I did dumb shit too. Right? But it was in a time where I’m sure like your journey, we didn’t have podcasts like this. Instagram wasn’t even invented. We didn’t have a load of amazing books out there like we do now. Like we were going through this blind and I think it was just that type A ness.

Like, you tell me I can’t do this. I’ll prove to you I can’t do this. And we started stumbling onto these things. And having these realizations and having these aha moments. And it wasn’t until I got pregnant naturally that I was actually pissed. I was really mad that I had to go through eight years of BS.

And even though changing the diet and all the mindset stuff and all that wasn’t easy, it was doable. Yeah, it’s doable, but it’s also, let’s be honest, it’s an investment in the long term. Yes. Because if you’re, if you’re only thinking about getting pregnant, you’re missing the boat completely because there’s 40 weeks of pregnancy.

There’s also what you do when you get home, right? And I think a lot of women, you know, in the panic of the moment, aren’t thinking in that bigger spectrum, which is certainly understandable. But there’s a better way, I think when you, when you start looking at this from a broader perspective and say, well, who do I want to be, how do I want to show up to this and will I have the skill and the internal mechanisms, coping mechanisms and, and other things so that when this, when I, when this pregnancy does show up that I can actually enjoy it and not be in chaos for 40 weeks, And then what am I going to do when this baby gets here?

It’s really, I think ultimately about being the mom that you say that you want to be, but it starts now, starts way before. Yeah. I’m radically honest. If I would have got pregnant at 27, I would have been easily divorced a few years later. You know, I, I like it’s the truth. Like I didn’t have the emotional intelligence.

To cope, and this is, you know, stemming off of 20 years of early education. Like, I know kids. I know how kids function. I know that what I didn’t know is how kids come and lovingly test you and are like little mirrors of like, Oh, you remember that trauma? Oh, you don’t let me show you the trauma that you have suppressed and the hardships it can put on a relationship.

Yeah. You know, me and my husband were together over 16 years before we had children. It wasn’t a new relationship and our relationship is so different after kids. So that’s why I talk about being conscious mamas. Because you gain this consciousness to start moving through life in a completely different way.

You get to stop any kind of generational trauma. You get to work on yourself so you can be the mom that you might not have had. Um, or be in a relationship that you wish your parents had. You can do these things. Raise your children to be aware of how food actually affects their moods and their learning and their activity and being older moms, right?

My kids are going to be in still in high school when I’m in my fifties. I don’t want to be going to the doctor’s office with an autoimmune issue or being on prescriptions. I want to be super active and healthy and there for them and live long enough to see my grandchildren, right? Yeah. So there’s this big, big picture and I know it’s not tangible, but if you can shift your focus to those things and bringing in the joy that you want now, the baby is only going to add to that joy.

Oh, yeah. I mean, but, I mean, to your point, Monica, I mean, think about it. There’s actually a really good metaphor. We do the same shit with our profession. We think of where we’re going to be in five years and what we’re going to create. Right. Why wouldn’t you apply some of that, that logic to this journey.

Right. But I think a lot of us have been because of all the fear from, you know, that’s pumped out there about fertility and how you’re late to the boat. If you’re 40, it’s like, I, you know, I know so many women that are more fertile in their forties than they ever were, you know, in their, their thirties.

And so, you know, I think this is a really powerful message. So. Before we close, it would be awesome, like, if you would just share, like, if, if women listening to this are like, are moved and they’re like, okay, well, I can actually look at some of the root causes, right? What are maybe three areas that you would encourage women to take a look as they’re getting started?

So let’s say they, they’re in the system and let’s say maybe they want to break out of the matrix a little bit, pump the brakes and say, okay, how can I do this differently? So we talked about gut health. Is that where you would start? Yeah, you, what I would first say is start where you’re at. You got to get really radically honest with yourself and a knock.

Okay. I’m going to change up my whole diet and I’m going to start yoga and I’m going to start meditating and I’ve got this fertility to do list and you’re just taking off the list, right? That’s the typical type a I’ve got my list. I’m doing everything right. And the truth is, is that you need to get still and silent and slow down.

Where can you take away from your checklists? Where can you start saying no at work, to your family, to your friends? Even if you have children, you’re dealing with secondary infertility. How can you say no to your kid, right? How can you stop sacrificing yourself for everyone else’s happiness and start getting really selfish?

I mean, like, I want something in my life, and right now, I have to do me to get it. Mmm! Right? That’s so good! It’s so good! But like, I don’t think we, we get much telling us to do that. In fact, I think, I think society is twistedly set up to tell us that we’re wrong for that. Yes. Oh, absolutely. You know, I was watching a program the other day with my boys and it was like this survivor series and this, um, son just was talking about his mother and how she was so selfish and she would put everyone in front of her, even strangers.

And then the next breath, he said, and the world beat her down. And I, I paused the TV and I turned to them. I said, this is why mommy does what she does. It’s because us women are told, don’t put yourself first, take care of your children, your husband, your community, this, this, this, and this. And we get beaten down and it’s, oh, it’s a hard, hard like thing to say, but we allow it because we don’t put up our own boundaries.

Uh huh. It’s 100 percent our responsibility. So you got to put up those boundaries. Yeah. It’s 100 percent our responsibility. We are not to blame. But it is our responsibility. Yeah. Once you notice that it’s happening. Okay, give us two more. Two more nuggets. And so with diet, the two top things you can do is find your food intolerances.

There’s no perfect fertility diet out there. Find your food intolerances right now that’s causing the most inflammation and oxidative stress. Once you do that, you will radically see things shift quite quickly if you can stick with that. And then the second thing, which is really important is get that wide variety, right?

If you’re only eating 20 things a week, no, you got to push that to 40 and you got to keep mixing that up. And this is a big thing because we’re creatures of comfort. Or if you go into the supermarket and you start getting really visual, you’re like, it’s the same food. every month in here. It rarely changes.

So how can you get outside your box and get some wide variety of things that are grown locally around seasonally for you, right? Go to a farmer’s market. Online, like people ship meat online. Now vegetables online, like it’s doable. Like most people do not have an excuse and be gracious with yourself. Just know that you are going to slip into old habits and that is okay.

Just the next day, start again, just start being consistent. The longer you do it, the easier that it gets. And I always find when my clients like slip back into like a weekend of like mayhem, they’re like, Oh, I feel awful. I’m like, good. I’m glad you feel that way. I’m glad that you’ve made that brain connection that those foods are not serving your highest purpose right now.

They will be there for you when your journey is done. And if you want to go back to them, totally fine. Uh, so just be gracious with yourself. And when it comes down to gut health and you feel, or even just physical health, this, because this was my story, I felt I was doing everything right. I, you could not falter me on a health level when I went to do my second IVF and it failed.

Even though I got better embryos, I didn’t even make it to day 28. And there was some missing pieces. I still had high natural killer cells, even after a year of amazing living, because I was still eating foods that I was intolerant to. I didn’t heal my leaky gut the way that I should have. I didn’t get the right support.

So there’s so much you can do by yourself. But if you’re in this position of like, it’s still not working, it’s be, it’s because there’s a missing factor and it could be physical. I’m finding with a lot of my clients, it’s energetic now. It’s subconscious mind now. So it’s not that it’s not working. The good news is, is that you’re not going to have like a long journey to get to where you need to be once you find those missing pieces.

Yeah. Because you’ve done so much of the hard work already. Yeah. No, that’s, that’s super helpful, Monica. And so why don’t you share, we’re going to link to your site in the show notes, but why don’t you share a little bit about where women can find you? Yeah. So I’m finding fertility everywhere on the internet, all social media, website, podcasts.

Um, I’m pretty Google able. Google able. Cool. Okay. Cool. Okay. Okay. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. Well, great. Well, I’m so grateful that you came on today and are sharing just. Very tangible things and, and so beautifully explained, you know, the thing about gut. I just think that I think that’s called our second brain, right?

Like I remember hearing something about that. And I was like, and at first I was like, huh, but there’s so much wisdom in that. And I think it’s great that you’re, you’re sharing with women how to turn that around is one of the different modalities that women can use to optimize their fertility. So thank you for being on.

Oh, my pleasure. Thanks so much for having me. Loves, wasn’t my conversation with Monica Cox fascinating? I hope that you’re walking away from our conversation with a greater sense of license and agency as you live this journey and live your life. It never ceases to amaze me how people look at me aghast when I say struggling with fertility and being on your fertility journey may be the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to you.

Because the, the natural inclination is to go, what was me? This sucks, my life is gonna be a mess, all this stuff, and it’s like, wait a second, none of that shit is true. This is an opportunity for you to step into being the woman you truly want to be. And let go of the victimhood that’s keeping you trapped in a place of fear, scared of your own shadow on this journey, and allowing anybody’s opinion to distract you from the truth.

And the truth is, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. Go fucking find your way. Right? And it all starts with the way you think. So if you are ready to be the woman that beats the odds, stops living this journey in fear, starts walking this with the confidence, the peace, and the joy you know in your soul you deserve.

My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. And say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are more committed to their success than their excuses.

To apply for an interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. Oh, and at the time of this recording, six women this month are pregnant already in my coaching practice.

Something’s working. You know, there’s something to this whole mindset shit. So if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP237 Gut Health = Fertility? A Conversation with Monica Cox, Founder of Finding Fertility appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

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When struggling with fertility, the conventional approach is to immediately look to our lady parts for the answer. While that’s a sensible and obvious move, what about the not so obvious sh*t? You know that I teach all about the power of mindset and it’s connection to your fertility success. Monica’s piece of the puzzle is looking at your fertility from a holistic, functional perspective. Join us for a conversation that can help YOU find your fertility.

Check out Monica’s work here: https://www.findingfertility.co

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous. If you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast episode 237. Gut health equals fertility? A conversation with Monica Cox, founder of Finding Fertility. Hey loves, I’m so excited for the interview that I’m sharing with you this week because I don’t know by now you probably have figured out that at Fearlessly Fertile We like to look at things outside of the box.

We are not much for convention. Because when you rely on convention, you get conventional results. And a lot of times, conventional results are just kind of boring and laden with statistics that you don’t want to be a part of. It’s fairly logical, right? Because when you’re looking to beat the odds, when you are looking to not be part of the spooky statistics, You have got to be looking in places that most people don’t.

This is why, in my world, we focus in on the power of mindset. Mindset is the foundation of everything we do. It, it dictates your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and results, right? Now, Monica’s piece of the puzzle is looking at your fertility from a holistic, functional perspective, which is why I wanted to have her on.

This is all about looking in the not so obvious places to help you get not so obvious results. And I love Monica’s take on this because it really is about empowering women with more information about their bodies that they might not always get from a more conventional perspective, right? And when it comes to our fertility, the more empowered we are, the fucking better.

So here is my conversation with the absolutely fantastic Monica Cox, founder of Finding Fertility. Let’s go! I’m super stoked to have you here. And so let’s start off the conversation with you sharing with the women listening a little bit about what it is that you do. Yeah. So I am a holistic functional fertility health coach.

I help create conscious mamas that you were born to be this way and really figuring out where the root cause of your fertility issues lie. And helping you hyper focus on that and hyper focus on the woman that is inside of you and just screaming to get out. And usually when you switch your focus on the inner work and the physical work that you might need to do, you start seeing the possibilities really open up in your life, which includes creating your dream family.

Mm. I love that. And I love the way that you say that. And you know, what’s interesting is, you know, having done this work for as long as I have, and you probably see this in your work as well. Like the first thing that women do is like run to think there’s something physically wrong. Yeah. It’s really stunning.

And, and what’s also interesting is we don’t look at our bodies in a loving way. Typically. We’re thinking, what’s wrong with me? It must be because I’m too old. Like we don’t really, it’s, it’s very punitive as opposed to supportive. What do you think? Yeah, absolutely. Especially when it comes to fertility to be, you know, really harsh.

Most of our fertility issues stem from the decades of not loving ourselves. And not being aware that our body works as one, not being aware how we need to support and love our bodies physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically. And then all of a sudden we think, you know, for a lot of us, we don’t think anything’s wrong.

Or maybe we do have a diagnosis and there’s nothing we can do about it. And then we get to the stage of wanting to create a family. And then it’s like, well, I’m broken. I need the medical system to fix me. Or that’s the only way I can have a baby. And the reality of 90 percent of women dealing with fertility issues.

Now, if they just go inwards, really find that root cause, they can minimize the medical support that they need or choose to have, right. I really believe there’s a difference between needing and choosing, but really just empowering ourselves. Like, okay. I’m not functioning correctly here. Now, what can I do to empower myself and really move through this journey?

I love the way that you say that, because I think empowerment is the key. And I think that when it comes to our physical health. There’s not a lot of that happening, right? It’s like, it’s like, oh man, right? The minute we, you know, there’s also so much fear out there that, okay, I’m over 35, so it’s going to be a freaking mess from here on out.

Right. If you even look at the language, the geriatric pregnancy, you know, high risk, all of those things. I mean, even if you have a high risk pregnancy, I mean, it’s such a negative connotation as opposed to let’s look at this from the perspective that this woman might need some additional support. Even the language around it is kind of toxic.

Yeah, it’s awful. I mean, so my first live birth was an IVF baby. And so in the United Kingdom, for whatever reason, they just deemed those very different than a natural pregnancy. And one midwife just kind of was like, Well, because you guys had to go through so much to get it, we just kind of tend to put you in this little category in this box.

But which is nice, but at the same time is awful. And then my natural pregnancy, I was over 35, I was 36. So I was old, this was an old pregnancy. And so I was very much treated very differently when I was pregnant with both of my babies. And, you know, going back to, well, you’re 35, it’s all downhill from there.

Well, I’m telling you with so much like conviction and truth and like, I am rock solid has nothing to do with your age. It has to do with your cellular health and your cellular health is dictated on your environment, your lifestyle and age comes into it because we’ve unknowingly have beat ourselves up over the decades.

And so sometimes we are a little bit too far gone, but not because we’re 35, it’s just because maybe our genetics played out that way. And we really just, the stress levels for 30 years were so high. That it attacks your endocrine system, it attacks your hormones, it attacks your ovaries. And unfortunately, the medical system just put you in this box and is like, there’s nothing you can do about it.

Well, tell me how I couldn’t get pregnant with a medical assistance between the age of 27 and 34, but I got pregnant naturally at 36. Make that make sense. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love how you say that because There’s so, it, it’s like the, the system, like if we think of it in the larger sense, the system, there are some really awesome aspects of it, like trauma, you know, like if you, if you have a traumatic injury, you want the system, right.

You know, but this is something very different. Getting and staying pregnant is like this. We’re in the realm of the miraculous. You really think about that. It’s something beyond just putting an egg and a sperm together. Because if that, if it was that simple, we’d have one round of IVF and no one would ever suffer.

Exactly. Kind of to your similar point that like, you know, if, if this was just, you know, if there’s just one aspect of this, tell me how I’m more fertile older than I was younger. Right. And I think that as the women listening to this are taking this information in, I think it’s really empowering for women to think out of the box when it comes to this, you know?

And so let’s talk about cause when I was listening to your podcast, it was really interesting to me the way that you zeroed in on gut health and really looking at the body as a whole. So let’s talk about that. Like as a practitioner. Yeah. When somebody comes to you who is struggling with fertility from a physical standpoint, what are you looking at?

Yeah, we’re, we’re attacking where the inflammation and the oxidative stress is coming from. And there’s two main places. It’s your gut health, and then it’s your mental and emotional health, which is your stress, right? So if your gut and your brain are connected, so they’re intertwined. But I would go out on a limb and say everyone dealing with fertility issues needs to fix their gut at a certain level.

Some people are really need support and some people just need to increase their diversity to boost their gut microbiome. But a lot of people are dealing with leaky gut and why, why it affects your fertility is these food particles get into your bloodstream, it starts ramping up your immune system going, hey, attack, attack, attack, something foreign is in the body.

And this causes a lot of inflammation and oxidative stress. Now, your ovaries live in your body. Your womb and your ovaries do not, they’re not separate. They are not in this glass box and they, they. They are living in this environment. So if they’re living in a, in a toxic situation, your body is just going to be like, well, I don’t have enough nutrients to give to that.

And on top of that, we’re got chaos going here. And so I don’t know why the medical system has completely disconnected that your egg is one of the largest cells in your body, right? If your cells. Are reactive to your environment. Your eggs are going to either be great or be bad depending on what type of environment your body is in.

So we always are looking at your normal and common health issues. We know that your fertility is. It just dysfunctioning right now, we know it’s all there. Your doctors have looked, we can confirm that that’s not an area that we need to hyper focus on. So we’re upstream, right? Everything starts in your brain, your hypothalamus, your pituitary, your penile gland kick starts everything connected to your hormones and your fertility.

And then your gut, I mean, it’s, if you just think of it, your nutrients comes from your gut, everything you put in your mouth. Your gut has to handle. So. Do I believe you are what you eat? Yes. If that’s a consistent thing you’re doing to your body, if you have a snicker bar once a month, no, you’re not the Snickers bar, but if you are eating a Snickers bar every day, I’m sorry, girl, you are a Snickers bar.

And that is not an environment that you would want to grow a baby in, right? Um, chemicals and yes, artificial sweeteners and quasi nuts. Yeah. I might be talking about this Monica. Like I know what a Snickers bar is. I can’t remember the last time I actually had one, but. It was my favorite candy bar. Well, let’s go back a little bit because even though we banter leaky gut around, because you and I both know there may be women out there that don’t quite know, they may have heard this somewhere in passing, but I would love it if you would share like, what exactly is leaky gut when we’re talking about that?

What does that actually mean? Yeah. So your gut is like a shag carpet. It has these like little tentacles, right? And usually the, the junctions are pretty tight. And you’re only if you have a good gut microbiome, it’s assimilating that food and bringing it out to the rest of your body, where if those shag carpets start opening up and they get really worn down, they can’t take in the nutrients for one, and they’re starting to let other things go into your bloodstream.

And so that’s what leaky gut is. And that’s where a lot of autoimmune issues lie. Your immune system is huge in your gut. And then it’s obviously all throughout your body. You have these natural killer cells that when you have a cold, they start defending you. A fever is a perfect example. You want a fever.

You want to be burning off whatever’s in your body. But when you when your natural killer cells or any other kind of element of your body is on alert all the time, it starts to dysfunction. And it’s like, I don’t know what to do. I need to do something. So I’m going to start attacking something. So that’s where thyroid issues come from.

This is where reoccurring miscarriages, one, one reason why this would happen. And this was my issue, Kind of twofold, but, um, my, uh, an embryo is a foreign agent until the placenta takes over. So, your body innately knows that that foreign agent is safe and is allowed to be there. But when your immune system is on overdrive, they’re like, uh uh, nope, nope, attack, attack, attack.

So you’re, you can get an implantation, you might go for a few days, a few weeks, and then your body’s like, nope, foreign agent will take away from it. And if that’s happening, it’s highly likely you have a lot of inflammation and oxidative stress. Your A qualities can be low too. So it’s almost twofold. Oh, you know, it’s stunning to me with how beautifully and simply you explain that it makes complete sense.

That all of these things are connected, but that’s not information that when we first enter the world of fertility that we get much up unless we’re consciously seeking that, like, it just blows my mind. And I’m super grateful that you explained it in that really concise and precise way, because it even in the explanation that you give, it makes it clear we can do something about it.

Yeah, rather than just pounding our immune system with suppressants and all this other stuff like there’s other avenues. Yeah, I mean the sad reality now is that a lot of women are obviously unhealthy enough for the body. I believe fertility issues is a way for your body to say, I’m not healthy enough to grow a human being right now.

Can you please take care of yourself first? I don’t have enough to give. So if you get that message and go, okay, what can I do? That’s great. And you can start improving while using a medical assistance. That’s what I did. But what’s happening is we’re not listening and we’re jumping into these rounds of IVF and IUIs.

And we’re bombarding the body so much that a lot of my clients come to me sicker than they probably were when, before they started fertility treatments because their body just can’t handle it. They can’t handle the overload of drugs and it’s really important to understand that this isn’t a walk in the park for anyone who’s done IVF.

It is hard on your body. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. And I don’t know how, whoever is their marketing agent, they are doing a very good job of preying on our fears. And just going, okay, quick, get in there, especially if you’re older, you know, I get clients in above 37 and those clinics are like, you should have done it six months ago.

And I’m just sitting there going like, slow down, trust me, those clinics are going to be there for you in six months. You’re just probably going to have a better experience if you take care of your health first. A hundred percent. I mean, there’s a, at the time of this recording, I mean, there’s a woman that.

We interviewed who came through my program. She’s 46 and holding a newborn that she conceived naturally after IVF failed. I mean, I bet you see this, this all the time as well, where, and her story is so interesting because so much of what she was doing was fear based and like I tell women all the time, fear based choices suck.

It’s not you and your power. It’s not you and your consciousness saying, okay, I want to take, I I’m ready for this, the step of IVF. I’m also ready to take care of my gut health and all of these other aspects of my life. I don’t know about you, Monica. I get the impression that you and I are on the same page that you don’t have to pick a side.

It’s really about doing what’s right for you because there are women that legitimately, for whatever reason, need the support or choose the support of IVF. And it’s not one or the other. It’s about really giving yourself the best possible option that is in conscious choice versus fear. Absolutely. It’s tapping into your intuition.

Is this the right move for me right now? And we outsource our power, right? We listen to the experts, even us coaches. Like, you know, a lot of my clients sometimes like, are like, what did you just say? I’m like, you have to make that decision for yourself. I can’t tell you the right answer. You know? Yeah. Do I, do I have some advice?

Do I have some guidance? Of course, but I’m not going to be the doctor who’s sitting there saying you have to do this. This is your only path, right? You have to go into that intuition and say, is this right for me? And you’ll be really surprised of what your body can tell you. Your body always has the answers.

If you just sit still long enough to listen, and that’s probably the problem with our community is we’re all type A. We’re all these overachievers and doers. Yeah, it’s really interesting. And, you know, when you, when you break it down like that, because I think we try to apply what made us successful in the workplace to what we do on this journey.

I mean, I focus in on women who are lovably type A control freaky professionals. I mean, like that were like me when I was going through it. I mean, I was a prosecutor at the time. And so I kind of looked at my fertility in the same way that I would, you know, be looking for a in, you know, in my profession, as I said, in the very beginning.

We’re in the realm of the miraculous, like our bodies are these miraculous machines that are full of divine intelligence, but we treat it as if it’s not that, as you were saying earlier, this idea that we’re broken. But I think it’s really about unlocking our body’s own natural ability to heal.

Absolutely. Your body is a healing machine. Like, Literally everyone would be dead by 25 if your body was not healing, right? Let’s just put it out there. You do some pretty damaging stuff to yourself through stress, through overachieving, through the food, through the drinking, your body would have died by now.

So if you can change that mindset and go, wow, thank you for keeping me alive. What will you do for me if I actually take care of you? If I actually slow down, if I eat well, if I take time to go through it, like discover any traumas that are emotionally blocking me, what are my subconscious beliefs even about motherhood?

Do I feel worthy to be a mom, right? You can’t overdrive your way out of fertility and yes, IVF can get you pregnant, but there’s a whole nother podcast episode about the risks you put yourself in during that pregnancy, during labor and postpartum and the risk you’re putting your child’s health in. Yeah.

I think it’s really, I think when women allow themselves like number one. To want what they want. First of all, you’re not wrong for wanting this child. Like no matter what age you are, if this is on your heart, it’s meant for you. There’s something there for you. And when you allow yourself to want what you want, and then you start to say, okay.

I don’t want to go about this with fear and that’s such a giant pendulum swing, Monica, because the first thing like I’ve heard women tell me, okay, I got married, I’m 35, we got to get on this baby train like right away, like not even giving themselves that feminine comfort of settling into their partnership, marriage, whatever it is, and lovingly calling this baby in.

And it’s, I think you’re a hundred percent right that it is this mindset shift, not just. In the way that we look at ourselves, but I think in the way that we look at the conversation about fertility, completely across the board is saying, let’s change this conversation so that it’s not fear-based. It’s about possibility instead.

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it’s so important to just realize that fertility has been taken for granted for centuries, and it definitely. Should be right. If we are healthy, functioning women, we shouldn’t have to overthink it. But over the years, our genetics have just been for lack of better word, dumbed down.

We are getting sicker and sicker and sicker. And we didn’t realize that we were passing this on to our children. Right? So technically I was infertile by 17. I had a full blown auto immune auto immune issue. And in hindsight, I wasn’t lucky with my high school boyfriend, but the cool thing is, if you realize that, and if you’re like, I’m gonna start doing everything in my power, it’s all reversible.

And, and that’s why I say, so, infertile at 17, pregnant naturally at 36. That’s why it’s down to your cellular health. Not your age. I think that’s such a powerful message that women need to be hearing now. Because so much of it is just like, you know, typically, I mean, when I was going through fertility treatment, you know, the first thing you hear is age.

And it’s like, it’s but one piece of information, as opposed to the entire picture. So I think, you know, what you’re drawing everybody’s attention to is, hey, let’s Let’s look beyond that. It’s a factor. Let’s, let’s be aware of it because we’re not in denial, but we also don’t have to be in a place of despair.

Yeah, absolutely. It’s really taking your situation and flipping it to what can I do with it? Not like, Oh, this is me. I’m going to sit here forever. Time is going to pass anyways. And I know for me and my journey, I, I went extreme, I will admit that, but I never wanted to look back because I spent over five years not even getting pregnant and with doing IVF.

So. There was a real, uh, reality that I might not be a mom. So I wanted to be able to walk away from that, proud of myself, knowing I left no stone unturned. And I didn’t want to look back and go, I wish I would have just tried that. I wish I would have just tried that. And let me make Let me be perfectly honest.

I tried stuff that was not healthy. Oh yeah. I did dumb shit too. Right? But it was in a time where I’m sure like your journey, we didn’t have podcasts like this. Instagram wasn’t even invented. We didn’t have a load of amazing books out there like we do now. Like we were going through this blind and I think it was just that type A ness.

Like, you tell me I can’t do this. I’ll prove to you I can’t do this. And we started stumbling onto these things. And having these realizations and having these aha moments. And it wasn’t until I got pregnant naturally that I was actually pissed. I was really mad that I had to go through eight years of BS.

And even though changing the diet and all the mindset stuff and all that wasn’t easy, it was doable. Yeah, it’s doable, but it’s also, let’s be honest, it’s an investment in the long term. Yes. Because if you’re, if you’re only thinking about getting pregnant, you’re missing the boat completely because there’s 40 weeks of pregnancy.

There’s also what you do when you get home, right? And I think a lot of women, you know, in the panic of the moment, aren’t thinking in that bigger spectrum, which is certainly understandable. But there’s a better way, I think when you, when you start looking at this from a broader perspective and say, well, who do I want to be, how do I want to show up to this and will I have the skill and the internal mechanisms, coping mechanisms and, and other things so that when this, when I, when this pregnancy does show up that I can actually enjoy it and not be in chaos for 40 weeks, And then what am I going to do when this baby gets here?

It’s really, I think ultimately about being the mom that you say that you want to be, but it starts now, starts way before. Yeah. I’m radically honest. If I would have got pregnant at 27, I would have been easily divorced a few years later. You know, I, I like it’s the truth. Like I didn’t have the emotional intelligence.

To cope, and this is, you know, stemming off of 20 years of early education. Like, I know kids. I know how kids function. I know that what I didn’t know is how kids come and lovingly test you and are like little mirrors of like, Oh, you remember that trauma? Oh, you don’t let me show you the trauma that you have suppressed and the hardships it can put on a relationship.

Yeah. You know, me and my husband were together over 16 years before we had children. It wasn’t a new relationship and our relationship is so different after kids. So that’s why I talk about being conscious mamas. Because you gain this consciousness to start moving through life in a completely different way.

You get to stop any kind of generational trauma. You get to work on yourself so you can be the mom that you might not have had. Um, or be in a relationship that you wish your parents had. You can do these things. Raise your children to be aware of how food actually affects their moods and their learning and their activity and being older moms, right?

My kids are going to be in still in high school when I’m in my fifties. I don’t want to be going to the doctor’s office with an autoimmune issue or being on prescriptions. I want to be super active and healthy and there for them and live long enough to see my grandchildren, right? Yeah. So there’s this big, big picture and I know it’s not tangible, but if you can shift your focus to those things and bringing in the joy that you want now, the baby is only going to add to that joy.

Oh, yeah. I mean, but, I mean, to your point, Monica, I mean, think about it. There’s actually a really good metaphor. We do the same shit with our profession. We think of where we’re going to be in five years and what we’re going to create. Right. Why wouldn’t you apply some of that, that logic to this journey.

Right. But I think a lot of us have been because of all the fear from, you know, that’s pumped out there about fertility and how you’re late to the boat. If you’re 40, it’s like, I, you know, I know so many women that are more fertile in their forties than they ever were, you know, in their, their thirties.

And so, you know, I think this is a really powerful message. So. Before we close, it would be awesome, like, if you would just share, like, if, if women listening to this are like, are moved and they’re like, okay, well, I can actually look at some of the root causes, right? What are maybe three areas that you would encourage women to take a look as they’re getting started?

So let’s say they, they’re in the system and let’s say maybe they want to break out of the matrix a little bit, pump the brakes and say, okay, how can I do this differently? So we talked about gut health. Is that where you would start? Yeah, you, what I would first say is start where you’re at. You got to get really radically honest with yourself and a knock.

Okay. I’m going to change up my whole diet and I’m going to start yoga and I’m going to start meditating and I’ve got this fertility to do list and you’re just taking off the list, right? That’s the typical type a I’ve got my list. I’m doing everything right. And the truth is, is that you need to get still and silent and slow down.

Where can you take away from your checklists? Where can you start saying no at work, to your family, to your friends? Even if you have children, you’re dealing with secondary infertility. How can you say no to your kid, right? How can you stop sacrificing yourself for everyone else’s happiness and start getting really selfish?

I mean, like, I want something in my life, and right now, I have to do me to get it. Mmm! Right? That’s so good! It’s so good! But like, I don’t think we, we get much telling us to do that. In fact, I think, I think society is twistedly set up to tell us that we’re wrong for that. Yes. Oh, absolutely. You know, I was watching a program the other day with my boys and it was like this survivor series and this, um, son just was talking about his mother and how she was so selfish and she would put everyone in front of her, even strangers.

And then the next breath, he said, and the world beat her down. And I, I paused the TV and I turned to them. I said, this is why mommy does what she does. It’s because us women are told, don’t put yourself first, take care of your children, your husband, your community, this, this, this, and this. And we get beaten down and it’s, oh, it’s a hard, hard like thing to say, but we allow it because we don’t put up our own boundaries.

Uh huh. It’s 100 percent our responsibility. So you got to put up those boundaries. Yeah. It’s 100 percent our responsibility. We are not to blame. But it is our responsibility. Yeah. Once you notice that it’s happening. Okay, give us two more. Two more nuggets. And so with diet, the two top things you can do is find your food intolerances.

There’s no perfect fertility diet out there. Find your food intolerances right now that’s causing the most inflammation and oxidative stress. Once you do that, you will radically see things shift quite quickly if you can stick with that. And then the second thing, which is really important is get that wide variety, right?

If you’re only eating 20 things a week, no, you got to push that to 40 and you got to keep mixing that up. And this is a big thing because we’re creatures of comfort. Or if you go into the supermarket and you start getting really visual, you’re like, it’s the same food. every month in here. It rarely changes.

So how can you get outside your box and get some wide variety of things that are grown locally around seasonally for you, right? Go to a farmer’s market. Online, like people ship meat online. Now vegetables online, like it’s doable. Like most people do not have an excuse and be gracious with yourself. Just know that you are going to slip into old habits and that is okay.

Just the next day, start again, just start being consistent. The longer you do it, the easier that it gets. And I always find when my clients like slip back into like a weekend of like mayhem, they’re like, Oh, I feel awful. I’m like, good. I’m glad you feel that way. I’m glad that you’ve made that brain connection that those foods are not serving your highest purpose right now.

They will be there for you when your journey is done. And if you want to go back to them, totally fine. Uh, so just be gracious with yourself. And when it comes down to gut health and you feel, or even just physical health, this, because this was my story, I felt I was doing everything right. I, you could not falter me on a health level when I went to do my second IVF and it failed.

Even though I got better embryos, I didn’t even make it to day 28. And there was some missing pieces. I still had high natural killer cells, even after a year of amazing living, because I was still eating foods that I was intolerant to. I didn’t heal my leaky gut the way that I should have. I didn’t get the right support.

So there’s so much you can do by yourself. But if you’re in this position of like, it’s still not working, it’s be, it’s because there’s a missing factor and it could be physical. I’m finding with a lot of my clients, it’s energetic now. It’s subconscious mind now. So it’s not that it’s not working. The good news is, is that you’re not going to have like a long journey to get to where you need to be once you find those missing pieces.

Yeah. Because you’ve done so much of the hard work already. Yeah. No, that’s, that’s super helpful, Monica. And so why don’t you share, we’re going to link to your site in the show notes, but why don’t you share a little bit about where women can find you? Yeah. So I’m finding fertility everywhere on the internet, all social media, website, podcasts.

Um, I’m pretty Google able. Google able. Cool. Okay. Cool. Okay. Okay. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. Well, great. Well, I’m so grateful that you came on today and are sharing just. Very tangible things and, and so beautifully explained, you know, the thing about gut. I just think that I think that’s called our second brain, right?

Like I remember hearing something about that. And I was like, and at first I was like, huh, but there’s so much wisdom in that. And I think it’s great that you’re, you’re sharing with women how to turn that around is one of the different modalities that women can use to optimize their fertility. So thank you for being on.

Oh, my pleasure. Thanks so much for having me. Loves, wasn’t my conversation with Monica Cox fascinating? I hope that you’re walking away from our conversation with a greater sense of license and agency as you live this journey and live your life. It never ceases to amaze me how people look at me aghast when I say struggling with fertility and being on your fertility journey may be the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to you.

Because the, the natural inclination is to go, what was me? This sucks, my life is gonna be a mess, all this stuff, and it’s like, wait a second, none of that shit is true. This is an opportunity for you to step into being the woman you truly want to be. And let go of the victimhood that’s keeping you trapped in a place of fear, scared of your own shadow on this journey, and allowing anybody’s opinion to distract you from the truth.

And the truth is, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. Go fucking find your way. Right? And it all starts with the way you think. So if you are ready to be the woman that beats the odds, stops living this journey in fear, starts walking this with the confidence, the peace, and the joy you know in your soul you deserve.

My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months. And say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are more committed to their success than their excuses.

To apply for an interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. Oh, and at the time of this recording, six women this month are pregnant already in my coaching practice.

Something’s working. You know, there’s something to this whole mindset shit. So if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

The post EP237 Gut Health = Fertility? A Conversation with Monica Cox, Founder of Finding Fertility appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

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