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EP248 More Babies = More AWESOME: Natalia’s Story

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Innhold levert av Rosanne Austin. Alt podcastinnhold, inkludert episoder, grafikk og podcastbeskrivelser, lastes opp og leveres direkte av Rosanne Austin eller deres podcastplattformpartner. Hvis du tror at noen bruker det opphavsrettsbeskyttede verket ditt uten din tillatelse, kan du følge prosessen skissert her https://no.player.fm/legal.

With labels like PCOS, an underactive thyroid, and being “geriatric,” Natalia could have been shamed into giving upon her dream of completing her family. BUT, this gorgeous Mama of 2 daughters, knew her family was not complete. Learn how Natalia overcame all of the obstacles she faced.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 248. More babies equals more awesome. Natalia’s story. Hey, loves, I’m so excited to be here with you this week because we have yet another incredibly inspiring, glorious, beautiful, kind, generous, and amazing testimony from another one of my miracle mamas.

Natalia, and what I love about each and every opportunity that my ladies have to share with all of you is that we learn through story, right? We gain so much by seeing what other people create in their lives that it can really inspire us. To see what’s possible in our own. Now, what’s really interesting about Natalia’s story is when we met, she had two daughters, but there was just something in her heart that was telling her, Hey, my family is not complete.

I really feel this. Like, and what inspires me about Natalia’s story is it would have been really easy for her to shame herself and say, well, you’ve got two beautiful daughters. Aren’t you asking for too much, blah, blah, blah. Like all of that super lack and scarcity, heart wrenching, soul crushing, small minded, lack and scarcity garbage.

But when we started working together, it was like, well, first of all, it was like magic because I just, I really love working with the ladies that I work with. They’re just freaking amazing. But Natalia was willing to take a leap to really trust herself and trust her heart and not make herself, you know, shameful for wanting more, because it’s really easy.

You know, people say all the time, just be happy with what you have, and it’s like, fuck that. You can be completely grateful. For what you want and desire more. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, right? And most people are too small minded to look at it in that way. Most people are super judgy about who has too much of what when it isn’t any of their fucking business.

You know, I don’t really, I don’t look at any woman who comes to me and ever say, Oh, well, you already have a few babies, so why are you here? It’s like, hey. If your family is not complete, that pain is valid, that pain is real, and I don’t give two fucks what anybody else has to say about that, because you stay in your lane, mama, whatever it is gonna take to make you happy in this life, and you’re coming at things from a place of love and possibility and really fulfilling your purpose here on Earth, like, you’re Only some kind of maniac would stand in judgment of that.

And most people, like, probably get this, but here, it’s just bare stating here. Anybody who’s willing to pass judgment on what is going to make you happy, like, doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. They’re full of shit, and they’re getting involved in something that has nothing to do with them.

So, move on, people, right? So, I really hope that if you are in a place Where you desire more, and you want inspiration to really take the leap, like, You know what? I my family is not complete. You know, and and here’s the other thing that you need to know about Natalia, And she talks about this, like, having her two daughters was not easy, okay?

So it’s not like it was some walk in the park. for her. She struggled with PCOS, low thyroid, and by this time she was labeled as freaking geriatric. So Natalia is a hero in my mind because not only was she willing to take a leap in the name of what she really wants in this life, but she was willing to face all of the garbage that could have stood in the way of her having her third miracle baby.

So I can’t wait for you to just dive in and love on Natalia in the same way I do, because she is truly an inspiration. And for those of you that have not already enrolled, there are just a few days left to get your ass into Fearlessly Fertile, full throttle. We start January 1st. If you don’t get your button to this program, you’re freaking crazy.

It’s going to be off the chain, amaze balls. This is your chance to start off 2024 with a structure, consistency, and community that can really help you make your dream of being a mom a reality. In 2024. Okay, mind and body work together. This is nothing new. And if you don’t have the mindset piece of the fertility puzzle, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy.

So get yourself enrolled. The doors are only open for a couple more days. And here is my conversation with Natalia. Hey, Natalia, we’ll jump right in. So why don’t you start by sharing with the ladies listening how you found yourself on this journey and how we met? Of course. So, I was already a mom. I was fortunate enough to be a mom of two beautiful girls.

And I was very fortunate about that. I also knew that it hadn’t been easy to have those two girls. It was something that I always wanted. I always wanted to be a mom. But I did have some conditions. I had polycystic ovaries. And I also had an underactive thyroid. And it was not easy to conceive my girls. I had to have help.

You know, luckily enough, my husband is, is younger than me, five years younger, but I, I felt always that the issue was on me because of the polycystic ovaries and also the underactive thyroid. So with help of the gynecologist, I used to have medication to induce my periods because they were not coming.

And I was also at the time taking something called Clomid, which actually helped. And thanks to that, I did have my two children, my two daughters, but I always knew from the very beginning that My dream would be to be a family of five and have three kids, and I always knew I wanted that. The only thing and the only difference was that I was now getting older.

I was already 14 and I was telling myself in my head, I’m too old. It has always been difficult. Now it’s going to be even harder. And at the same time, I was also feeling a bit selfish because I knew that I already had two beautiful girls. I love them dearly. We had a happy marriage. I felt like I had everything.

And I was a bit in this lack and scarcity mode that we often spoke about. And I felt, well, why three? I already have two. I should be content. I should be grateful. I should settle for that. So I was always in this dilemma, and uh, we had been trying for two years. I had had a miscarriage, uh, and I was doing everything by the book.

I was doing acupuncture, TCM, I was eating, eating healthily, exercising, I was not going out or drinking, I was doing Like basically all these rituals, I was very much based on control. And I think the control came from my fear. I was so afraid of not getting pregnant that the way to tackle that was to be extremely controlling over everything, everything I ate, everything I did.

It was all based on this control, control about everything. And it became an obsession. And life was becoming really hard and miserable. I was not enjoying life. We were, everything evolved around, you know, having this third baby. And I was not even enjoying the time I was spending with my two girls because I was, I was feeling a bit like a failure and time, the clock was ticking.

So at this point when I was a bit desperate and I really didn’t, also when you reach 40, I think you start also having like these bigger questions about life, your purpose in life. And I started Googling and I found, I found your book, Rosanne, and it was like a miracle came true. I found your book and I read it in basically one day.

I watched all the YouTube videos about all the wonderful women you had helped. I listened to your podcast and I thought, wow, finally someone who understands me was on the same wavelength and me and also someone who’s gone through something similar and managed to have a baby boy at the age of 43. So I thought it was fantastic.

I found you and I kept absorbing all your great knowledge and wisdom. So that winter it was just after COVID. So we went to France. My husband is French and he has a, his family have a nice house in the south of France. So we went there for Christmas and it was just out of COVID, but there was still a lot of COVID happening and we all got COVID.

25 of us in one house. So all my chances of becoming pregnant that Christmas also evaporated. I also remember a lot of stories about women who went on holidays and got pregnant. So I, in my head, I thought this is going to be it. I’m going to go on holidays. It’s going to happen this Christmas. I had listened to all of your videos, podcasts.

I thought I’m prepared. This is going to happen. And it didn’t, it didn’t. And then we came back to Singapore. We live in Singapore. And that’s when I realized that I needed more of you. I needed more of Rosanne and I wanted to, to get in touch with you. So I went to your website and I filled in this form. I knew about your eight week program.

So I thought, well, maybe, why not? I know it’s a, it’s a long shot. I’m in Singapore. I thought maybe Rosanne has a lot of requests, but perhaps she will contact me. And I was, I was lucky, someone from your team reached out and then we arranged the call. And yeah, I was so, so happy because by then I thought of you like a celebrity.

I thought you were like this wonderful, I don’t know, like gift of God. So I was feeling very blessed that we had that call. You listened to me, you asked me some really good questions and I felt very understood and connected to you. But then when you told me about the group coaching, I don’t know, I had second thoughts.

I thought, oh, you know, group coaching, I’ve never done this. My story is quite personal. Also, I had, I was not very proud of my story in the sense that I thought I’ve already, I have two girls, you know, maybe I go to this call and there’s, there’s women there who are trying for the first time. Maybe it’s disrespectful for them, for me to be on that call when I already have two, two girls.

Is it for me? And I remember you being very honest and you said, look, Natalia, you share what you want to share. I’ve done this. It’s, it’s working. You will hear from other women and you will learn from this. And there’s so many stories that have a lot of things in common. So I decided to give it a go. And that’s when I started the eight week program, which was, yeah, I mean, revolutionary, not just for, from the point of helping me to eventually conceive, but also because it helped me find my, find myself, I learned so much about myself and I grew and I developed so much as a human being, I was basically a new person in every aspect of my life.

And that came, came to life through my relationships with my husband, my daughters. I think they also realized I had become a new person. And I loved some of the, um, uh, modules there about, you know, having a true vision. Also thinking about this from the, you know, 360 degree, being strategic about who you select on your team, your pump squad, challenging the stories.

I remember you used, I think it was the word saboteurs, challenging the stories you make up in your head about being too old. Or being selfish, or I’m wanting too much, and all these stories, I remember I challenged myself, and you also challenged me because, uh, you and, and also you challenged the other ladies in, in the calls.

I remember how you gave us homework. I’ll always remember one piece of homework that you always said, write down, I think it was some ridiculous number, like 300 times where you’ve been less than life. And I went through that exercise and I actually realized, wow, what am I worrying about? Where is this fear coming from?

Right? Things always happen to me and life is good. The universe is good. So you really helped me break all of that through. Wow. Wow. Natalia, I mean, this is, you know, I feel very blessed for sure to work with women like you because there is a, a very common. Through line for women that kick ass on this journey, and it is a willingness to be better.

It’s a willingness to grow. And that’s not because you suck. It’s because your vision for your life is bigger than, you know, where you are today. And it, you know, and the thing that I love about you and is you had the humility. Natalia, because you’ve got loads of credentials, you’ve got a lot of things going on, you’re a powerhouse badass on your own.

You were willing to have the humility to say, you know what, there’s something I can learn here. I mean, like, take the example, because like, you’re not the only one. Like sometimes women freak out about, everybody thinks they need one on one coaching. I disagree. And that’s because after years of doing this, what do I know women need?

Structure, consistency, and community for anything to be sustainable and for us to truly integrate the lessons that are going to help us change our lives. You need those things. And we spend so much time on this journey siloed alone in shame. That when you were around like minded women with big hearts, I mean, because that’s one thing that I know for sure, every woman that comes through this program has a huge heart is so kind, so generous, so giving that, you know, when you surround yourself with people like that.

And get out of your lack and scarcity story and the bullshit that I’m the only one living this you open yourself up to have the exact changes that you’re talking about. Totally. I felt that so much. I felt so heard in these calls, so listened and every bit of advice or every way, every time you challenge someone in the call.

I felt related. I felt connected to that story because we’re all the same, right? We’re all going through the same struggle. We need each other, right? We need that support. And I think many times, as you said, we live in isolation because we have this shame. And I think that’s the word. I felt very shamed, embarrassed about my situation.

I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I mean, my husband knew, but you know, there are things that You also need, like, other, other people who are going through it to also give you their, their perspective, right? So, despite the love of my husband, the love of my children, I needed, I needed that community. And that’s what, what you gave me, and I’m so grateful for that.

And it also helped me to deal a bit with, um, uncertainty. Because I, I realized that with this community, I learned to trust myself and believe in myself. And I think it was because of the connection and love from everyone and you know, all the hearts, all the blessings, everyone cheering for you. I actually built that confidence that I needed and I started to have more faith in myself.

I started to trust my decisions. I also became more discerning. I made decisions that were based on my values, not based on what a doctor said, based on my values. I knew I wanted to have my third baby naturally and despite IVF and I respect everyone who’s done that. I, I, I considered it and, and I was about to do it, but I always thought this baby is telling me it’s coming.

I don’t know when or how, but he’s coming. And I knew that. And I knew that, that I was close. I don’t know. I have this feeling. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was into, I don’t know what it was. Maybe the program gave me that. That belief in myself, that intuition that I needed, but I knew, I knew he was coming.

And, and he did after those, the eighth week after I finished the course, basically I went to the gynecologist and he saw two big follicles. And I remember very well, it was the 27th, 22nd of April. And he saw two large follicles. And I thought, Oh, maybe this is a sign, you know, maybe it’s actually twins.

It’s 22, two big follicles. And on that Friday. We were very excited. I knew the court was the next day, so it was on the Saturday. So my husband and I were, you know, getting ready for a romantic evening and that same evening, our neighbors decided to call on the door and worst timing ever, you know, but I did think about ignoring the doorbell, but anyway, we ended up opening the door and the neighbors came in and they decided to just hang out with us, have a chat and they didn’t want to leave.

They were there and yeah, I was going, I was getting very nervous. I could, I could sense my heart beating. I was a bit on edge and I thought, look, this is supposed to be our evening. But then I thought, wait a minute, here am I again, black and scarcity. I’m starting to believe this is the one and only chance.

And that’s not true. If it doesn’t happen this, this Friday, I’ve got, you know, so many other months throughout the year where this could happen, right? It’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t have to be my way or the highway right now, right here in this moment. And I started to relax. I started to to enjoy the evening.

I actually had a beer, something that I had prohibited myself forever. And I just said, Look, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Maybe this is a sign from the universe. Let’s just relax. And the neighbors eventually left very late. And, you know, my husband and I were laughing about the whole story thinking, you know, you know, this is not how it was meant to be.

But anyway, and we did have a very nice evening together and we let it go. And then the next day I woke up, I was feeling good. I went to your call. It was, you know, the calls will have, I was based in Singapore. So they were happening a bit later in the evening for me, but I always stayed up until two or 3 AM listening because I got so much out of them.

And I remember telling the story in the call and, and, you know, you laughing and say, look, you know, what’s the worst thing that can happen if you have another chance next month after you had a good time, that’s what matters. Then, you know, two weeks passed, but I stopped, you know, controlling the dates that, you know, the signs that I just let it go.

Yeah. And my period, um, did not come, but I could feel it was coming. I could really sense it. I had every sign my period was coming. So I thought, okay, this is it. And I started to get a bit sad. You know, I was, I actually went to on a business trip to the U S and I read quite a few books and, you know, the surrender experiment also from.

I think it’s Michael Singer. And I said, I said, okay, like this is just time to let go. It will be what it will be. And I remember contacting you and said, Rosanne, you know, the eight week program has finished. I’m going to get my period. I think it’s also a sign that I need more coaching. I need more time with you.

Let’s start the one to one coaching. And you told me, yeah, that’s fine. Let’s do it. And then I came back from the US to Singapore, still no period. And I said, okay, this is my polycystic ovaries playing up again. You know, that’s why it’s not happening. But okay, uh, I really want my period to come because if my period doesn’t come, I can’t ovulate.

And if I can’t ovulate, I can’t get follicles. And without follicles, I can’t, you know, my rational brain was going 100 miles an hour. And then suddenly I thought, I don’t know why. I thought, well, I’ve got one pregnancy test left. Maybe I should try. But I already knew the answer. I said, why am I trying It is really, I needed to be right.

I had this thing about it. I am right. I am right. And when I did that pregnancy test, I couldn’t believe it. When I saw the two red lines, I, I was so shocked. I was so shocked because I was wrong. I had never been wrong. I was always convinced. It is my way. I am right. And I remember taking a photo. You were still in bed because of the time difference.

And I sent you a screenshot and I was shaking. I couldn’t believe it. I just, I nearly had, I don’t know. I just couldn’t believe it. The fact that it finally had happened and yeah. So yeah, it was a miracle, a true miracle. I mean, this is insane, Natalia, because you know, So much of what you shared here is about getting out of lack and scarcity, right?

And this is what we do to ourselves on this journey, right? Like we tell ourselves, you know, we give ourselves lack and scarcity stories about money, time. Other people, shame, all of these things that make us small, right? Think about, like, even if we back up the bus here, I mean, I love this story and we’ll come back to it, but like, even if we back up the bus, and we look at how you were shaming yourself for wanting more, Like, how crazy, you know, do we get?

Like, our self sabotage pattern is insidious. It’s just crazy. So, let’s go into, you know, what was it? Because there had to have been something that shifted in you in order for you, in that moment, to say, I’ve got two big follicles. Let me just give this a shot because that’s a massive departure from the woman that was doing everything by the book and then having a beer, having, you know, your neighbors interrupt you.

Like, what do you think allowed you to really relax into that moment and allow yourself to receive the possibility of actually conceiving this baby? Yeah, it’s a great question. And I think had that happened, you know, before I met you, I would have freaked out. I definitely would not have conceived that in the evening.

I know that. I know that in the bottom of my heart. And I really think it was a few things, but I think a lot of it was building that trust in myself, building that trust and, and And believing that it’s possible that it’s going to happen and having loving myself having a better, you know, better opinion of myself.

Because before, I, I used to criticize a lot everything, right? And I was always like, I should, I could have. I remember telling myself, well, I should have not opened the door. Or I could have told them that we were busy. And I could have told them we had no food or drinks left. So to go to their place, I could have done all of that, right?

And previously, the old Natalia would have done the shoulds and the could haves and the, all the self blame and the, you know, torturing myself. And actually, you know, I was kind to myself that night. I did not blame myself. I said, okay, there are things you can control and things you can’t. They happen to turn up.

So be it. And trust yourself that maybe this is actually a good thing. It’s a good sign. Maybe you do need to chill out a bit and have a beer and relax with friends and, and who knows, you know, just let it be, let it, let’s get rid of that control, right? Trying to control every minute of my life. And I did that.

And then another thing that you also taught me, um, was about having faith. And I think I, I didn’t know what faith was about. I, I mean, I thought it was something like a bit freaky, like you were afraid, like, this is for people who live in like Lulu land. But actually, there was something about it. And also my self confidence started to build out because throughout the months I had seen these signs, right?

That the baby was coming, different things, right? I had, you know, things were happening that were not a coincidence. And I, I knew I was getting there and I had this faith and this belief in a higher power, something bigger than myself, something that, that is there looking out for me. Maybe it’s like a garden angel, but I knew I was being protected and I knew my son was observing us.

I knew it. I knew it in the bottom of my heart. And I, I thought maybe my son has actually sent this neighbors out. Maybe he actually wanted them to come and say, hello mama, you know, have a bit of fun before I arrived. And I believe those. I believe it. And I think that’s what allowed me to change your son.

You know, that is absolutely incredible. And think about it, Natalia, think about how you went from two years of misery, disconnection from your family in some ways. I mean, look, you’re an amazing mom. I know that because I know you, you’re a kind, loving, gentle, amazing human being. When all this stress from the journey is in the background, it can, you know, unwittingly disconnect you and distract you from your life.

So you went from two years of that, to doing this program eight weeks. And then the last week, boom! I mean, do you, like, it’s insane that you made that change so quickly. It’s, it’s true, Rosanne. Although, I still had a lot of, um, more work to do, I realized. Well, sure. Yes, and that’s why I’m doing it. Yes. I think it never ends.

Every, every day, you need to Continue investing in that self growth, because what I realized is that when I got pregnant, it was great. You know, I had the adrenaline, you know, of the moment I contacted you, I felt over the moon. But then a few days after the fear started to kick in again, I had had a few miscarriages before and I started thinking, well, what if this is not going to happen?

You know, maybe I could miscarriage again. And yeah, all this doubt negativity started to creep in again, and that, that was hard. That was hard. And it was, I would say as hard as when I was before, because now I did have, you know, the dream come true. I had, you know, this baby inside of me growing, but I, I still had that fear, right.

And I still needed to do a bit more work. And that’s where the one to one coaching with you also helped me so much. I remember the meditations, week scan. Talking to my baby, knowing that he was coming, creating this bond with the baby, that really helped me. And, you know, I stopped Googling and I stopped, you know, yeah, basically looking every, every detail up.

And, and it really helped me. It really helped me. So I, I managed to, to get through like, and it sounds like get through it. It was actually a wonderful experience. The nine months of pregnancy and my baby arrived and he was born very quick. The birth went really well. And yes, it was natural birth. He, I, it was a miracle when I saw his face, it was one of the best moments of my life together with, you know, when I also gave birth to my other two daughters.

And my husband was very happy. He was a boy. And I remember when we were talking, you always asked me, what is your sense? Because I did, I chose not to, not to know the gender. And you always asked me, well, what do you think? And, and I, I had this feeling it was a boy and actually you could also feel it was a boy and, and it was a boy, right?

And everyone actually, um, was thinking it might be a girl as well, because after, I don’t know, maybe after two girls, it’s more likely you have a third one that’s a girl. So I was over the moon, um, when. Our baby arrived, but a few, a few weeks after. Basically, I started to have a lot of issues with my muscles and my tendons, and it happens to a lot of women, you know, after giving birth, I had deteriorating tendonitis, I also had bilateral intersection syndrome, so lots of issues with my joints, my muscles, and I was quite weak, I lost quite a bit of weight, also with breastfeeding, and instead of listening to my body, I started to push through the pain.

I said, I can do it, I’m a super mom of three. I’m going to continue with my crazy lifestyle of taking my four year old to school on the bike, breastfeeding, cooking, like doing everything, right? I was doing everything and, and my body was suffering. My body was, I was in pain. I was in a lot, a lot, but I ignored it.

I ignored the pain and I said, I can do this. I can do this. And, and then my body really started to break down. I was at this stage where I couldn’t hold my baby. I was in so much pain. And then actually also, um, my tendons, my Achilles tendons also started to, to give. I couldn’t walk as well. And that’s when I started to see, you know, a doctor.

I started to See a nutritionist as well, but I was not in a good place. I was starting to feel very depressed about the situation. Also because all my life I had put so much importance to productivity. My self worth was based on productivity. The more I did, the more I achieved, the better. I needed to be, I didn’t need it to be a human being.

I needed to be a human doing. It was all about doing, doing, doing, and achieving. And when I couldn’t use my hands, when I couldn’t walk, I felt like, who am I? What can I do for my children, for my husband? I can’t do anything. And I remember my husband saying, well, well, you know, you can read, you can just be there for them.

They just want you. They don’t need you to do things for them. I can manage, you know, we also had help at home. We hired, thanks to your wonderful advice, also extra help at home. But it was, it was very tough. It was very tough. And I, and I, I didn’t know, I felt almost a bit resentful against myself because I had been, you know, working so hard to have this baby.

And now that I had this baby, I had all these health issues. I wasn’t becoming the mom I wanted to be in my dreams. And I was blaming myself. I was being very hard with myself and, and I was punishing myself. I kept thinking, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with this body? Why is this body not working? I was getting impatient with myself instead of thinking, well, this body has brought me three beautiful babies, children now, and, and I.

I was being so hard. I, I couldn’t explain it. I started losing interest in seeing people doing things because of my condition, and I started to feel less attached to my baby because only my husband or the help we had at home, our nanny could pick up the baby. So I felt I was missing out. And I was in a very dark place, Rosanne.

I started to see a therapist, which really helped me. And it changed a lot of my life, having someone who also understood and who could put things into perspective and the love of my husband also, um, slowing down, reevaluating things helped me a lot. I think I remember yelling at you a little bit about this too.

Yes, you did. Yes, but it was a journey and I think a lot of people don’t speak about this, right? Because after you give birth, everything’s supposed to be wonderful and rosy. And it’s not always the case, right? And um, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. And we’re not vulnerable, right?

Because even though, you know, friends reached out and said, are you okay? I was not vulnerable with them. I always had, Oh no, I’m perfect. I’m strong. I can do this. Yeah. I’ve just got a few muscle aches in there, but it’s normal. You know, I have three kids. I’m fine. I’m fine. And I was just, you know, not being honest with myself, with I refuse to ask for help.

I was the one to help people. Always. I always thought of myself as the helper. You know, I help my kids. I have my husband. I help everyone. You know, I have my team at work, but asking for help is a sign of weakness and I would never ask for help. And it was so difficult for me to get the help I needed.

Really, it still is. I still need to, like, really go through the notion of asking for help. I feel uncomfortable doing it. You know, I give you so much credit, Natalia, for raising this issue because it’s so easy for us to say, Oh, you know, I’m just going to get pregnant. All my problems are going to go away.

Everything’s going to be amazing. But the pregnancy is just the beginning. People don’t understand this. You know, like, it’s so funny. You know, I hear You know, I see women all the time, like, try to put off, you know, getting the help that they need. Oh, let me just see if I’m gonna get pregnant this month and maybe I’ll think about doing this program.

It’s like, what are you talking about, right? Asking for help is not weakness. It’s actually one of the key signs of strength. As a leader, because you’re a leader, you understand that asking for help is a critical aspect of growing and leading and doing the things that you say you want to do. I mean, the idea that any of us gets anywhere without help, that’s just ego.

That’s just like hardcore ego running the show. And it’s intellectually dishonest. The reality is we all have help. To get to where we want to go. And when you have a big call on your life, like you do, Natalia, it takes a village. Okay. Like it takes, and there’s, and that doesn’t mean that you suck. It just means that your life is changing and the resources that you’re going to need to get to where you want to go are different and I love, I mean, again, you’re, you’re such a kind and generous, humble person to be able to.

Share that aspect of yourself because people only share the Instagrammable version typically of their lives. And so, you know, it’s, it’s super generous that you’re sharing this and I think it’s really going to help women understand, you know, think this whole thing through, right? But this is also why I teach the way I teach in my programs.

And when I coach women privately like yourself, and I have, you know, the good fortune of You know, working with women privately, it’s like, no, we’re going to take this through 40 weeks of pregnancy and beyond because you have motherhood, right? It’s it’s see the whole thing through, not just the pieces. See the whole thing.

What do you think? Totally, totally. And actually, the fact that I went through all of this has made me a better person, more compassionate, rediscovered aspects of myself that I didn’t know were there, right? Because I think a lot of times, we don’t want to feel, and we’re afraid of feeling, so we numb the feelings by doing something.

And a lot of time it’s, We compensate by doing exercise compulsively or drinking or, you know, in my case, it was all about doing and achieving. Right. And I started to do less of that. Right. And I started just to be and accept the fact that this was happening. It’s happening. Right. I can’t, my muscles are weak and my tendons are weak, but actually.

It’s it’s nothing I’ve done wrong, right? It’s just happening and it’s happening maybe for me, right? Like I’m I’m gonna get stronger. I need to think long term, right? This is I’m not the victim of this because I was very much in victimhood. Oh, this is terrible. Why me? What have I done? Why do I deserve this?

Poor me. And actually, now that I look back, right, it’s changed me, who I am. I’m a more compassionate mother. I listen much better. I had no choice but to sit down. I had never sat down in the sofa before. And now that I couldn’t physically do that, I was actually just sitting, relaxing, just being. I was there for my kids.

My kids noticed I was there. And also I delegated to my husband. My husband was doing everything. He managed like all the school stuff we had to go, we moved house, he did the whole move, all credit to him, packed all the stuff. He didn’t do it like I would have done it, right? Like my, I would have packed differently.

He packed too many things, you know, in my opinion, made the wrong choices, but actually he did not. What happened with the move is that he managed it so much better than I could have. He, he’s also really analytical. He does his research. He’s much more thorough than me. And I actually thought I was the best.

I thought I only I can do this and I dropped the ball or sign and it felt so good to drop the ball. Amen. For the ball. You know, this is so good, Natalia. You’re literally saving marriages all over the world right now. And you’re teaching women a really powerful lesson about receiving on so many levels.

Because if we take this and bring this full circle, and we look at the woman you were when you were struggling for those years, stuck in a place of shame, I want too much, I’m wrong for this, my body sucks. You know, my thyroid is underactive. I’ve got PCOS, you know, to conceiving this miracle boy. Right under the most hilarious circumstances and then watching yourself continue to grow through the process and have the presence of mind, Natalia, to notice, Holy cow, all of this insanity was happening for me because Now, I’m actually more connected to my children, more compassionate, more able to ask for help.

I’m actually turning into the woman and mother I said I want to be. Totally, totally. That is what happened. Exactly that, Rosanne. I became a different, a new person and I would not have gone be the person I am now if I had not gone through that experience. 100%. And you did that Natalia in less than a year.

Like, do you see that? Do you see how quickly? I mean, nobody like believes me. They think it’s just cute for me to say, you know, where do you want to be 12 months from now? I work with women who intend to get and stay pregnant in the next 12 months. And, and like, look at what you did and look at how quickly you did it.

And, and look, it’s not about the speed per se, right? Other than to point out when you want to make a change, you can make a change very quickly. It doesn’t have to take forever. And you’re living proof of that. Yes, that’s right. You just need to want it, believe in it, trust in yourself, and, and I think also what’s important is to, to stay in your lane, right?

Have that focus, stay in your lane, don’t compare, because that kills the joy and creativity, right? It’s going to happen, right? And, and everyone lives a journey in this life. That is meant to be for them. Yeah. And it’s, you know, and look, you went from being a listener to the podcast, to a guest in just not only record time, but with so much experience to share.

I mean, this is, it’s just an honor to have you here, Natalia. So let me ask you this, you know, this is a question I love. Asking women because there’s a woman listening to this episode right now who is thinking about giving up, thinking she doesn’t have it in her, and what would you say to that woman right now?

So, a few things I would tell that woman, Rosanne. So the first one is just to be curious. Be curious about the stories you tell in your mind about yourself, right? And challenge those stories, right? In my case, it was, you know, I’m too old. I’m too selfish to want more. And challenge those stories. Where do they come from?

Look at it. Think about your childhood. Because a lot of these stories are ingrained. They’re there and they’ve been there for a while. And try to dissect them. Understand what’s behind them. What’s driving them. Why are you the way you are? Because that will give you some really good answers. Not only for this journey, but for your life.

The second thing I’d say is Let go of the control because the control is the fear and we all do that, right? We all have this rituals, you know, I need to eat this I need to you know Ovulate on a certain day of the month and you know, you cannot control everything in life, right? I think when you let go good things happen You don’t know when or how this baby is gonna arrive But it will happen and you need to believe in it and in order to believe in it.

You need to trust yourself And you need to trust your body. It’s important, I always find, to, to like, love yourself and be kind to yourself. And I saw that throughout the whole journey. I mean, first trying to conceive, right, when I was, you know, over 40 and believing in that my body was able to do it. But then after I gave birth, with all these issues I had with my muscles and my tendons, I had lost trust again in my body.

So I had to rebuild a loving relationship with my body. And that took time. But we always knock the body down, right? We always say, oh, this body, like, why is it not working? We become impatient with it, right? Sometimes I feel like thumping my, my body. And it’s, your body is there to support you, right? It’s, it’s an instrument that is gonna make your dreams come true, but you need to give him time and you need to love her and she will bring you good things.

And then the last thing I’d say, Rosanne, is, and this is the biggest one I’d say, is to have this growth mindset. And this is back to what we were saying before about not being the victim, not thinking that it’s happening to you, but for you. And that it’s difficult to think about this when you’re actually in the middle of it, right?

And you’re overwhelmed by all the stress and the fear, but believe me, and really, I know it’s difficult sometimes, but really believe that this is happening for a reason, and that you’re only gonna get Better and stronger. And you’re going to be a new version and a better version of yourself after this journey.

Yeah, that is so beautiful, Natalia. And you know, I think that’s a message that more women need to hear is have a fricking growth mindset and for fuck’s sake. If you can’t figure it out on your own, get help! Yes, yes, get help. Get help with this, I mean, this nonsensical idea that we’re just gonna magically learn what we need to learn because here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t understand.

But you had the humility. To step into is this idea of it’s one thing to know, but it’s another to implement and really what you’re excellent at is the implementation because every week during when we were in the group program, you would do the work, you would come with questions. You were up at two or three a.

m. Like you said, you were not leaving without this baby. Right. Like you put your skin in the game. Like you did not just dip a toe in Natalia, you were in and you came with the expectation of learning and implementing, and that’s what a lot of people need to listen, you know, like, I love that women are going to be listening to what you’re sharing here and your, and your generosity.

It’s a completely different story to actually be willing to apply it to your life and to do the work And you and your family this beautiful family are living proof Of what happens when mom’s willing to do the work. So thank you for that Natalia. Like thank you for so generously sharing your story. I know women are probably weeping somewhere hearing about this and well, and how, how old is your baby boy now?

So now he’s nine months. You know, it’s so crazy how quickly time flies. I mean, I remember when you sent me the text message, I remember moving through that pregnancy. And I just remember thinking like, Wow. Like how quickly this all happened. And I can’t believe he’s nine months old, but Natalia bless you.

Bless your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing what you shared here. And I know that it’s going to be changing lives. So thank you for sharing with us. Thank you so much, Rosanne, for everything. Loves, wasn’t Natalia’s story just an incredible affirmation of the power that is in a woman’s heart when she keeps saying her hell yes, stands behind her dream, and doesn’t take no for an answer?

It’s just incredible and I hope that you took some really powerful nuggets of wisdom. From Natalia’s story. And if you want to learn what I taught Natalia and have taught so many women around the world, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are actually committed to success, more committed to success than committed to their excuses. And if you want to apply for an interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there.

My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results, like Natalia’s, speak for themselves. And if you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results.

Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, HELL YES!

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With labels like PCOS, an underactive thyroid, and being “geriatric,” Natalia could have been shamed into giving upon her dream of completing her family. BUT, this gorgeous Mama of 2 daughters, knew her family was not complete. Learn how Natalia overcame all of the obstacles she faced.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 248. More babies equals more awesome. Natalia’s story. Hey, loves, I’m so excited to be here with you this week because we have yet another incredibly inspiring, glorious, beautiful, kind, generous, and amazing testimony from another one of my miracle mamas.

Natalia, and what I love about each and every opportunity that my ladies have to share with all of you is that we learn through story, right? We gain so much by seeing what other people create in their lives that it can really inspire us. To see what’s possible in our own. Now, what’s really interesting about Natalia’s story is when we met, she had two daughters, but there was just something in her heart that was telling her, Hey, my family is not complete.

I really feel this. Like, and what inspires me about Natalia’s story is it would have been really easy for her to shame herself and say, well, you’ve got two beautiful daughters. Aren’t you asking for too much, blah, blah, blah. Like all of that super lack and scarcity, heart wrenching, soul crushing, small minded, lack and scarcity garbage.

But when we started working together, it was like, well, first of all, it was like magic because I just, I really love working with the ladies that I work with. They’re just freaking amazing. But Natalia was willing to take a leap to really trust herself and trust her heart and not make herself, you know, shameful for wanting more, because it’s really easy.

You know, people say all the time, just be happy with what you have, and it’s like, fuck that. You can be completely grateful. For what you want and desire more. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, right? And most people are too small minded to look at it in that way. Most people are super judgy about who has too much of what when it isn’t any of their fucking business.

You know, I don’t really, I don’t look at any woman who comes to me and ever say, Oh, well, you already have a few babies, so why are you here? It’s like, hey. If your family is not complete, that pain is valid, that pain is real, and I don’t give two fucks what anybody else has to say about that, because you stay in your lane, mama, whatever it is gonna take to make you happy in this life, and you’re coming at things from a place of love and possibility and really fulfilling your purpose here on Earth, like, you’re Only some kind of maniac would stand in judgment of that.

And most people, like, probably get this, but here, it’s just bare stating here. Anybody who’s willing to pass judgment on what is going to make you happy, like, doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. They’re full of shit, and they’re getting involved in something that has nothing to do with them.

So, move on, people, right? So, I really hope that if you are in a place Where you desire more, and you want inspiration to really take the leap, like, You know what? I my family is not complete. You know, and and here’s the other thing that you need to know about Natalia, And she talks about this, like, having her two daughters was not easy, okay?

So it’s not like it was some walk in the park. for her. She struggled with PCOS, low thyroid, and by this time she was labeled as freaking geriatric. So Natalia is a hero in my mind because not only was she willing to take a leap in the name of what she really wants in this life, but she was willing to face all of the garbage that could have stood in the way of her having her third miracle baby.

So I can’t wait for you to just dive in and love on Natalia in the same way I do, because she is truly an inspiration. And for those of you that have not already enrolled, there are just a few days left to get your ass into Fearlessly Fertile, full throttle. We start January 1st. If you don’t get your button to this program, you’re freaking crazy.

It’s going to be off the chain, amaze balls. This is your chance to start off 2024 with a structure, consistency, and community that can really help you make your dream of being a mom a reality. In 2024. Okay, mind and body work together. This is nothing new. And if you don’t have the mindset piece of the fertility puzzle, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy.

So get yourself enrolled. The doors are only open for a couple more days. And here is my conversation with Natalia. Hey, Natalia, we’ll jump right in. So why don’t you start by sharing with the ladies listening how you found yourself on this journey and how we met? Of course. So, I was already a mom. I was fortunate enough to be a mom of two beautiful girls.

And I was very fortunate about that. I also knew that it hadn’t been easy to have those two girls. It was something that I always wanted. I always wanted to be a mom. But I did have some conditions. I had polycystic ovaries. And I also had an underactive thyroid. And it was not easy to conceive my girls. I had to have help.

You know, luckily enough, my husband is, is younger than me, five years younger, but I, I felt always that the issue was on me because of the polycystic ovaries and also the underactive thyroid. So with help of the gynecologist, I used to have medication to induce my periods because they were not coming.

And I was also at the time taking something called Clomid, which actually helped. And thanks to that, I did have my two children, my two daughters, but I always knew from the very beginning that My dream would be to be a family of five and have three kids, and I always knew I wanted that. The only thing and the only difference was that I was now getting older.

I was already 14 and I was telling myself in my head, I’m too old. It has always been difficult. Now it’s going to be even harder. And at the same time, I was also feeling a bit selfish because I knew that I already had two beautiful girls. I love them dearly. We had a happy marriage. I felt like I had everything.

And I was a bit in this lack and scarcity mode that we often spoke about. And I felt, well, why three? I already have two. I should be content. I should be grateful. I should settle for that. So I was always in this dilemma, and uh, we had been trying for two years. I had had a miscarriage, uh, and I was doing everything by the book.

I was doing acupuncture, TCM, I was eating, eating healthily, exercising, I was not going out or drinking, I was doing Like basically all these rituals, I was very much based on control. And I think the control came from my fear. I was so afraid of not getting pregnant that the way to tackle that was to be extremely controlling over everything, everything I ate, everything I did.

It was all based on this control, control about everything. And it became an obsession. And life was becoming really hard and miserable. I was not enjoying life. We were, everything evolved around, you know, having this third baby. And I was not even enjoying the time I was spending with my two girls because I was, I was feeling a bit like a failure and time, the clock was ticking.

So at this point when I was a bit desperate and I really didn’t, also when you reach 40, I think you start also having like these bigger questions about life, your purpose in life. And I started Googling and I found, I found your book, Rosanne, and it was like a miracle came true. I found your book and I read it in basically one day.

I watched all the YouTube videos about all the wonderful women you had helped. I listened to your podcast and I thought, wow, finally someone who understands me was on the same wavelength and me and also someone who’s gone through something similar and managed to have a baby boy at the age of 43. So I thought it was fantastic.

I found you and I kept absorbing all your great knowledge and wisdom. So that winter it was just after COVID. So we went to France. My husband is French and he has a, his family have a nice house in the south of France. So we went there for Christmas and it was just out of COVID, but there was still a lot of COVID happening and we all got COVID.

25 of us in one house. So all my chances of becoming pregnant that Christmas also evaporated. I also remember a lot of stories about women who went on holidays and got pregnant. So I, in my head, I thought this is going to be it. I’m going to go on holidays. It’s going to happen this Christmas. I had listened to all of your videos, podcasts.

I thought I’m prepared. This is going to happen. And it didn’t, it didn’t. And then we came back to Singapore. We live in Singapore. And that’s when I realized that I needed more of you. I needed more of Rosanne and I wanted to, to get in touch with you. So I went to your website and I filled in this form. I knew about your eight week program.

So I thought, well, maybe, why not? I know it’s a, it’s a long shot. I’m in Singapore. I thought maybe Rosanne has a lot of requests, but perhaps she will contact me. And I was, I was lucky, someone from your team reached out and then we arranged the call. And yeah, I was so, so happy because by then I thought of you like a celebrity.

I thought you were like this wonderful, I don’t know, like gift of God. So I was feeling very blessed that we had that call. You listened to me, you asked me some really good questions and I felt very understood and connected to you. But then when you told me about the group coaching, I don’t know, I had second thoughts.

I thought, oh, you know, group coaching, I’ve never done this. My story is quite personal. Also, I had, I was not very proud of my story in the sense that I thought I’ve already, I have two girls, you know, maybe I go to this call and there’s, there’s women there who are trying for the first time. Maybe it’s disrespectful for them, for me to be on that call when I already have two, two girls.

Is it for me? And I remember you being very honest and you said, look, Natalia, you share what you want to share. I’ve done this. It’s, it’s working. You will hear from other women and you will learn from this. And there’s so many stories that have a lot of things in common. So I decided to give it a go. And that’s when I started the eight week program, which was, yeah, I mean, revolutionary, not just for, from the point of helping me to eventually conceive, but also because it helped me find my, find myself, I learned so much about myself and I grew and I developed so much as a human being, I was basically a new person in every aspect of my life.

And that came, came to life through my relationships with my husband, my daughters. I think they also realized I had become a new person. And I loved some of the, um, uh, modules there about, you know, having a true vision. Also thinking about this from the, you know, 360 degree, being strategic about who you select on your team, your pump squad, challenging the stories.

I remember you used, I think it was the word saboteurs, challenging the stories you make up in your head about being too old. Or being selfish, or I’m wanting too much, and all these stories, I remember I challenged myself, and you also challenged me because, uh, you and, and also you challenged the other ladies in, in the calls.

I remember how you gave us homework. I’ll always remember one piece of homework that you always said, write down, I think it was some ridiculous number, like 300 times where you’ve been less than life. And I went through that exercise and I actually realized, wow, what am I worrying about? Where is this fear coming from?

Right? Things always happen to me and life is good. The universe is good. So you really helped me break all of that through. Wow. Wow. Natalia, I mean, this is, you know, I feel very blessed for sure to work with women like you because there is a, a very common. Through line for women that kick ass on this journey, and it is a willingness to be better.

It’s a willingness to grow. And that’s not because you suck. It’s because your vision for your life is bigger than, you know, where you are today. And it, you know, and the thing that I love about you and is you had the humility. Natalia, because you’ve got loads of credentials, you’ve got a lot of things going on, you’re a powerhouse badass on your own.

You were willing to have the humility to say, you know what, there’s something I can learn here. I mean, like, take the example, because like, you’re not the only one. Like sometimes women freak out about, everybody thinks they need one on one coaching. I disagree. And that’s because after years of doing this, what do I know women need?

Structure, consistency, and community for anything to be sustainable and for us to truly integrate the lessons that are going to help us change our lives. You need those things. And we spend so much time on this journey siloed alone in shame. That when you were around like minded women with big hearts, I mean, because that’s one thing that I know for sure, every woman that comes through this program has a huge heart is so kind, so generous, so giving that, you know, when you surround yourself with people like that.

And get out of your lack and scarcity story and the bullshit that I’m the only one living this you open yourself up to have the exact changes that you’re talking about. Totally. I felt that so much. I felt so heard in these calls, so listened and every bit of advice or every way, every time you challenge someone in the call.

I felt related. I felt connected to that story because we’re all the same, right? We’re all going through the same struggle. We need each other, right? We need that support. And I think many times, as you said, we live in isolation because we have this shame. And I think that’s the word. I felt very shamed, embarrassed about my situation.

I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I mean, my husband knew, but you know, there are things that You also need, like, other, other people who are going through it to also give you their, their perspective, right? So, despite the love of my husband, the love of my children, I needed, I needed that community. And that’s what, what you gave me, and I’m so grateful for that.

And it also helped me to deal a bit with, um, uncertainty. Because I, I realized that with this community, I learned to trust myself and believe in myself. And I think it was because of the connection and love from everyone and you know, all the hearts, all the blessings, everyone cheering for you. I actually built that confidence that I needed and I started to have more faith in myself.

I started to trust my decisions. I also became more discerning. I made decisions that were based on my values, not based on what a doctor said, based on my values. I knew I wanted to have my third baby naturally and despite IVF and I respect everyone who’s done that. I, I, I considered it and, and I was about to do it, but I always thought this baby is telling me it’s coming.

I don’t know when or how, but he’s coming. And I knew that. And I knew that, that I was close. I don’t know. I have this feeling. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was into, I don’t know what it was. Maybe the program gave me that. That belief in myself, that intuition that I needed, but I knew, I knew he was coming.

And, and he did after those, the eighth week after I finished the course, basically I went to the gynecologist and he saw two big follicles. And I remember very well, it was the 27th, 22nd of April. And he saw two large follicles. And I thought, Oh, maybe this is a sign, you know, maybe it’s actually twins.

It’s 22, two big follicles. And on that Friday. We were very excited. I knew the court was the next day, so it was on the Saturday. So my husband and I were, you know, getting ready for a romantic evening and that same evening, our neighbors decided to call on the door and worst timing ever, you know, but I did think about ignoring the doorbell, but anyway, we ended up opening the door and the neighbors came in and they decided to just hang out with us, have a chat and they didn’t want to leave.

They were there and yeah, I was going, I was getting very nervous. I could, I could sense my heart beating. I was a bit on edge and I thought, look, this is supposed to be our evening. But then I thought, wait a minute, here am I again, black and scarcity. I’m starting to believe this is the one and only chance.

And that’s not true. If it doesn’t happen this, this Friday, I’ve got, you know, so many other months throughout the year where this could happen, right? It’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t have to be my way or the highway right now, right here in this moment. And I started to relax. I started to to enjoy the evening.

I actually had a beer, something that I had prohibited myself forever. And I just said, Look, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Maybe this is a sign from the universe. Let’s just relax. And the neighbors eventually left very late. And, you know, my husband and I were laughing about the whole story thinking, you know, you know, this is not how it was meant to be.

But anyway, and we did have a very nice evening together and we let it go. And then the next day I woke up, I was feeling good. I went to your call. It was, you know, the calls will have, I was based in Singapore. So they were happening a bit later in the evening for me, but I always stayed up until two or 3 AM listening because I got so much out of them.

And I remember telling the story in the call and, and, you know, you laughing and say, look, you know, what’s the worst thing that can happen if you have another chance next month after you had a good time, that’s what matters. Then, you know, two weeks passed, but I stopped, you know, controlling the dates that, you know, the signs that I just let it go.

Yeah. And my period, um, did not come, but I could feel it was coming. I could really sense it. I had every sign my period was coming. So I thought, okay, this is it. And I started to get a bit sad. You know, I was, I actually went to on a business trip to the U S and I read quite a few books and, you know, the surrender experiment also from.

I think it’s Michael Singer. And I said, I said, okay, like this is just time to let go. It will be what it will be. And I remember contacting you and said, Rosanne, you know, the eight week program has finished. I’m going to get my period. I think it’s also a sign that I need more coaching. I need more time with you.

Let’s start the one to one coaching. And you told me, yeah, that’s fine. Let’s do it. And then I came back from the US to Singapore, still no period. And I said, okay, this is my polycystic ovaries playing up again. You know, that’s why it’s not happening. But okay, uh, I really want my period to come because if my period doesn’t come, I can’t ovulate.

And if I can’t ovulate, I can’t get follicles. And without follicles, I can’t, you know, my rational brain was going 100 miles an hour. And then suddenly I thought, I don’t know why. I thought, well, I’ve got one pregnancy test left. Maybe I should try. But I already knew the answer. I said, why am I trying It is really, I needed to be right.

I had this thing about it. I am right. I am right. And when I did that pregnancy test, I couldn’t believe it. When I saw the two red lines, I, I was so shocked. I was so shocked because I was wrong. I had never been wrong. I was always convinced. It is my way. I am right. And I remember taking a photo. You were still in bed because of the time difference.

And I sent you a screenshot and I was shaking. I couldn’t believe it. I just, I nearly had, I don’t know. I just couldn’t believe it. The fact that it finally had happened and yeah. So yeah, it was a miracle, a true miracle. I mean, this is insane, Natalia, because you know, So much of what you shared here is about getting out of lack and scarcity, right?

And this is what we do to ourselves on this journey, right? Like we tell ourselves, you know, we give ourselves lack and scarcity stories about money, time. Other people, shame, all of these things that make us small, right? Think about, like, even if we back up the bus here, I mean, I love this story and we’ll come back to it, but like, even if we back up the bus, and we look at how you were shaming yourself for wanting more, Like, how crazy, you know, do we get?

Like, our self sabotage pattern is insidious. It’s just crazy. So, let’s go into, you know, what was it? Because there had to have been something that shifted in you in order for you, in that moment, to say, I’ve got two big follicles. Let me just give this a shot because that’s a massive departure from the woman that was doing everything by the book and then having a beer, having, you know, your neighbors interrupt you.

Like, what do you think allowed you to really relax into that moment and allow yourself to receive the possibility of actually conceiving this baby? Yeah, it’s a great question. And I think had that happened, you know, before I met you, I would have freaked out. I definitely would not have conceived that in the evening.

I know that. I know that in the bottom of my heart. And I really think it was a few things, but I think a lot of it was building that trust in myself, building that trust and, and And believing that it’s possible that it’s going to happen and having loving myself having a better, you know, better opinion of myself.

Because before, I, I used to criticize a lot everything, right? And I was always like, I should, I could have. I remember telling myself, well, I should have not opened the door. Or I could have told them that we were busy. And I could have told them we had no food or drinks left. So to go to their place, I could have done all of that, right?

And previously, the old Natalia would have done the shoulds and the could haves and the, all the self blame and the, you know, torturing myself. And actually, you know, I was kind to myself that night. I did not blame myself. I said, okay, there are things you can control and things you can’t. They happen to turn up.

So be it. And trust yourself that maybe this is actually a good thing. It’s a good sign. Maybe you do need to chill out a bit and have a beer and relax with friends and, and who knows, you know, just let it be, let it, let’s get rid of that control, right? Trying to control every minute of my life. And I did that.

And then another thing that you also taught me, um, was about having faith. And I think I, I didn’t know what faith was about. I, I mean, I thought it was something like a bit freaky, like you were afraid, like, this is for people who live in like Lulu land. But actually, there was something about it. And also my self confidence started to build out because throughout the months I had seen these signs, right?

That the baby was coming, different things, right? I had, you know, things were happening that were not a coincidence. And I, I knew I was getting there and I had this faith and this belief in a higher power, something bigger than myself, something that, that is there looking out for me. Maybe it’s like a garden angel, but I knew I was being protected and I knew my son was observing us.

I knew it. I knew it in the bottom of my heart. And I, I thought maybe my son has actually sent this neighbors out. Maybe he actually wanted them to come and say, hello mama, you know, have a bit of fun before I arrived. And I believe those. I believe it. And I think that’s what allowed me to change your son.

You know, that is absolutely incredible. And think about it, Natalia, think about how you went from two years of misery, disconnection from your family in some ways. I mean, look, you’re an amazing mom. I know that because I know you, you’re a kind, loving, gentle, amazing human being. When all this stress from the journey is in the background, it can, you know, unwittingly disconnect you and distract you from your life.

So you went from two years of that, to doing this program eight weeks. And then the last week, boom! I mean, do you, like, it’s insane that you made that change so quickly. It’s, it’s true, Rosanne. Although, I still had a lot of, um, more work to do, I realized. Well, sure. Yes, and that’s why I’m doing it. Yes. I think it never ends.

Every, every day, you need to Continue investing in that self growth, because what I realized is that when I got pregnant, it was great. You know, I had the adrenaline, you know, of the moment I contacted you, I felt over the moon. But then a few days after the fear started to kick in again, I had had a few miscarriages before and I started thinking, well, what if this is not going to happen?

You know, maybe I could miscarriage again. And yeah, all this doubt negativity started to creep in again, and that, that was hard. That was hard. And it was, I would say as hard as when I was before, because now I did have, you know, the dream come true. I had, you know, this baby inside of me growing, but I, I still had that fear, right.

And I still needed to do a bit more work. And that’s where the one to one coaching with you also helped me so much. I remember the meditations, week scan. Talking to my baby, knowing that he was coming, creating this bond with the baby, that really helped me. And, you know, I stopped Googling and I stopped, you know, yeah, basically looking every, every detail up.

And, and it really helped me. It really helped me. So I, I managed to, to get through like, and it sounds like get through it. It was actually a wonderful experience. The nine months of pregnancy and my baby arrived and he was born very quick. The birth went really well. And yes, it was natural birth. He, I, it was a miracle when I saw his face, it was one of the best moments of my life together with, you know, when I also gave birth to my other two daughters.

And my husband was very happy. He was a boy. And I remember when we were talking, you always asked me, what is your sense? Because I did, I chose not to, not to know the gender. And you always asked me, well, what do you think? And, and I, I had this feeling it was a boy and actually you could also feel it was a boy and, and it was a boy, right?

And everyone actually, um, was thinking it might be a girl as well, because after, I don’t know, maybe after two girls, it’s more likely you have a third one that’s a girl. So I was over the moon, um, when. Our baby arrived, but a few, a few weeks after. Basically, I started to have a lot of issues with my muscles and my tendons, and it happens to a lot of women, you know, after giving birth, I had deteriorating tendonitis, I also had bilateral intersection syndrome, so lots of issues with my joints, my muscles, and I was quite weak, I lost quite a bit of weight, also with breastfeeding, and instead of listening to my body, I started to push through the pain.

I said, I can do it, I’m a super mom of three. I’m going to continue with my crazy lifestyle of taking my four year old to school on the bike, breastfeeding, cooking, like doing everything, right? I was doing everything and, and my body was suffering. My body was, I was in pain. I was in a lot, a lot, but I ignored it.

I ignored the pain and I said, I can do this. I can do this. And, and then my body really started to break down. I was at this stage where I couldn’t hold my baby. I was in so much pain. And then actually also, um, my tendons, my Achilles tendons also started to, to give. I couldn’t walk as well. And that’s when I started to see, you know, a doctor.

I started to See a nutritionist as well, but I was not in a good place. I was starting to feel very depressed about the situation. Also because all my life I had put so much importance to productivity. My self worth was based on productivity. The more I did, the more I achieved, the better. I needed to be, I didn’t need it to be a human being.

I needed to be a human doing. It was all about doing, doing, doing, and achieving. And when I couldn’t use my hands, when I couldn’t walk, I felt like, who am I? What can I do for my children, for my husband? I can’t do anything. And I remember my husband saying, well, well, you know, you can read, you can just be there for them.

They just want you. They don’t need you to do things for them. I can manage, you know, we also had help at home. We hired, thanks to your wonderful advice, also extra help at home. But it was, it was very tough. It was very tough. And I, and I, I didn’t know, I felt almost a bit resentful against myself because I had been, you know, working so hard to have this baby.

And now that I had this baby, I had all these health issues. I wasn’t becoming the mom I wanted to be in my dreams. And I was blaming myself. I was being very hard with myself and, and I was punishing myself. I kept thinking, what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with this body? Why is this body not working? I was getting impatient with myself instead of thinking, well, this body has brought me three beautiful babies, children now, and, and I.

I was being so hard. I, I couldn’t explain it. I started losing interest in seeing people doing things because of my condition, and I started to feel less attached to my baby because only my husband or the help we had at home, our nanny could pick up the baby. So I felt I was missing out. And I was in a very dark place, Rosanne.

I started to see a therapist, which really helped me. And it changed a lot of my life, having someone who also understood and who could put things into perspective and the love of my husband also, um, slowing down, reevaluating things helped me a lot. I think I remember yelling at you a little bit about this too.

Yes, you did. Yes, but it was a journey and I think a lot of people don’t speak about this, right? Because after you give birth, everything’s supposed to be wonderful and rosy. And it’s not always the case, right? And um, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. And we’re not vulnerable, right?

Because even though, you know, friends reached out and said, are you okay? I was not vulnerable with them. I always had, Oh no, I’m perfect. I’m strong. I can do this. Yeah. I’ve just got a few muscle aches in there, but it’s normal. You know, I have three kids. I’m fine. I’m fine. And I was just, you know, not being honest with myself, with I refuse to ask for help.

I was the one to help people. Always. I always thought of myself as the helper. You know, I help my kids. I have my husband. I help everyone. You know, I have my team at work, but asking for help is a sign of weakness and I would never ask for help. And it was so difficult for me to get the help I needed.

Really, it still is. I still need to, like, really go through the notion of asking for help. I feel uncomfortable doing it. You know, I give you so much credit, Natalia, for raising this issue because it’s so easy for us to say, Oh, you know, I’m just going to get pregnant. All my problems are going to go away.

Everything’s going to be amazing. But the pregnancy is just the beginning. People don’t understand this. You know, like, it’s so funny. You know, I hear You know, I see women all the time, like, try to put off, you know, getting the help that they need. Oh, let me just see if I’m gonna get pregnant this month and maybe I’ll think about doing this program.

It’s like, what are you talking about, right? Asking for help is not weakness. It’s actually one of the key signs of strength. As a leader, because you’re a leader, you understand that asking for help is a critical aspect of growing and leading and doing the things that you say you want to do. I mean, the idea that any of us gets anywhere without help, that’s just ego.

That’s just like hardcore ego running the show. And it’s intellectually dishonest. The reality is we all have help. To get to where we want to go. And when you have a big call on your life, like you do, Natalia, it takes a village. Okay. Like it takes, and there’s, and that doesn’t mean that you suck. It just means that your life is changing and the resources that you’re going to need to get to where you want to go are different and I love, I mean, again, you’re, you’re such a kind and generous, humble person to be able to.

Share that aspect of yourself because people only share the Instagrammable version typically of their lives. And so, you know, it’s, it’s super generous that you’re sharing this and I think it’s really going to help women understand, you know, think this whole thing through, right? But this is also why I teach the way I teach in my programs.

And when I coach women privately like yourself, and I have, you know, the good fortune of You know, working with women privately, it’s like, no, we’re going to take this through 40 weeks of pregnancy and beyond because you have motherhood, right? It’s it’s see the whole thing through, not just the pieces. See the whole thing.

What do you think? Totally, totally. And actually, the fact that I went through all of this has made me a better person, more compassionate, rediscovered aspects of myself that I didn’t know were there, right? Because I think a lot of times, we don’t want to feel, and we’re afraid of feeling, so we numb the feelings by doing something.

And a lot of time it’s, We compensate by doing exercise compulsively or drinking or, you know, in my case, it was all about doing and achieving. Right. And I started to do less of that. Right. And I started just to be and accept the fact that this was happening. It’s happening. Right. I can’t, my muscles are weak and my tendons are weak, but actually.

It’s it’s nothing I’ve done wrong, right? It’s just happening and it’s happening maybe for me, right? Like I’m I’m gonna get stronger. I need to think long term, right? This is I’m not the victim of this because I was very much in victimhood. Oh, this is terrible. Why me? What have I done? Why do I deserve this?

Poor me. And actually, now that I look back, right, it’s changed me, who I am. I’m a more compassionate mother. I listen much better. I had no choice but to sit down. I had never sat down in the sofa before. And now that I couldn’t physically do that, I was actually just sitting, relaxing, just being. I was there for my kids.

My kids noticed I was there. And also I delegated to my husband. My husband was doing everything. He managed like all the school stuff we had to go, we moved house, he did the whole move, all credit to him, packed all the stuff. He didn’t do it like I would have done it, right? Like my, I would have packed differently.

He packed too many things, you know, in my opinion, made the wrong choices, but actually he did not. What happened with the move is that he managed it so much better than I could have. He, he’s also really analytical. He does his research. He’s much more thorough than me. And I actually thought I was the best.

I thought I only I can do this and I dropped the ball or sign and it felt so good to drop the ball. Amen. For the ball. You know, this is so good, Natalia. You’re literally saving marriages all over the world right now. And you’re teaching women a really powerful lesson about receiving on so many levels.

Because if we take this and bring this full circle, and we look at the woman you were when you were struggling for those years, stuck in a place of shame, I want too much, I’m wrong for this, my body sucks. You know, my thyroid is underactive. I’ve got PCOS, you know, to conceiving this miracle boy. Right under the most hilarious circumstances and then watching yourself continue to grow through the process and have the presence of mind, Natalia, to notice, Holy cow, all of this insanity was happening for me because Now, I’m actually more connected to my children, more compassionate, more able to ask for help.

I’m actually turning into the woman and mother I said I want to be. Totally, totally. That is what happened. Exactly that, Rosanne. I became a different, a new person and I would not have gone be the person I am now if I had not gone through that experience. 100%. And you did that Natalia in less than a year.

Like, do you see that? Do you see how quickly? I mean, nobody like believes me. They think it’s just cute for me to say, you know, where do you want to be 12 months from now? I work with women who intend to get and stay pregnant in the next 12 months. And, and like, look at what you did and look at how quickly you did it.

And, and look, it’s not about the speed per se, right? Other than to point out when you want to make a change, you can make a change very quickly. It doesn’t have to take forever. And you’re living proof of that. Yes, that’s right. You just need to want it, believe in it, trust in yourself, and, and I think also what’s important is to, to stay in your lane, right?

Have that focus, stay in your lane, don’t compare, because that kills the joy and creativity, right? It’s going to happen, right? And, and everyone lives a journey in this life. That is meant to be for them. Yeah. And it’s, you know, and look, you went from being a listener to the podcast, to a guest in just not only record time, but with so much experience to share.

I mean, this is, it’s just an honor to have you here, Natalia. So let me ask you this, you know, this is a question I love. Asking women because there’s a woman listening to this episode right now who is thinking about giving up, thinking she doesn’t have it in her, and what would you say to that woman right now?

So, a few things I would tell that woman, Rosanne. So the first one is just to be curious. Be curious about the stories you tell in your mind about yourself, right? And challenge those stories, right? In my case, it was, you know, I’m too old. I’m too selfish to want more. And challenge those stories. Where do they come from?

Look at it. Think about your childhood. Because a lot of these stories are ingrained. They’re there and they’ve been there for a while. And try to dissect them. Understand what’s behind them. What’s driving them. Why are you the way you are? Because that will give you some really good answers. Not only for this journey, but for your life.

The second thing I’d say is Let go of the control because the control is the fear and we all do that, right? We all have this rituals, you know, I need to eat this I need to you know Ovulate on a certain day of the month and you know, you cannot control everything in life, right? I think when you let go good things happen You don’t know when or how this baby is gonna arrive But it will happen and you need to believe in it and in order to believe in it.

You need to trust yourself And you need to trust your body. It’s important, I always find, to, to like, love yourself and be kind to yourself. And I saw that throughout the whole journey. I mean, first trying to conceive, right, when I was, you know, over 40 and believing in that my body was able to do it. But then after I gave birth, with all these issues I had with my muscles and my tendons, I had lost trust again in my body.

So I had to rebuild a loving relationship with my body. And that took time. But we always knock the body down, right? We always say, oh, this body, like, why is it not working? We become impatient with it, right? Sometimes I feel like thumping my, my body. And it’s, your body is there to support you, right? It’s, it’s an instrument that is gonna make your dreams come true, but you need to give him time and you need to love her and she will bring you good things.

And then the last thing I’d say, Rosanne, is, and this is the biggest one I’d say, is to have this growth mindset. And this is back to what we were saying before about not being the victim, not thinking that it’s happening to you, but for you. And that it’s difficult to think about this when you’re actually in the middle of it, right?

And you’re overwhelmed by all the stress and the fear, but believe me, and really, I know it’s difficult sometimes, but really believe that this is happening for a reason, and that you’re only gonna get Better and stronger. And you’re going to be a new version and a better version of yourself after this journey.

Yeah, that is so beautiful, Natalia. And you know, I think that’s a message that more women need to hear is have a fricking growth mindset and for fuck’s sake. If you can’t figure it out on your own, get help! Yes, yes, get help. Get help with this, I mean, this nonsensical idea that we’re just gonna magically learn what we need to learn because here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t understand.

But you had the humility. To step into is this idea of it’s one thing to know, but it’s another to implement and really what you’re excellent at is the implementation because every week during when we were in the group program, you would do the work, you would come with questions. You were up at two or three a.

m. Like you said, you were not leaving without this baby. Right. Like you put your skin in the game. Like you did not just dip a toe in Natalia, you were in and you came with the expectation of learning and implementing, and that’s what a lot of people need to listen, you know, like, I love that women are going to be listening to what you’re sharing here and your, and your generosity.

It’s a completely different story to actually be willing to apply it to your life and to do the work And you and your family this beautiful family are living proof Of what happens when mom’s willing to do the work. So thank you for that Natalia. Like thank you for so generously sharing your story. I know women are probably weeping somewhere hearing about this and well, and how, how old is your baby boy now?

So now he’s nine months. You know, it’s so crazy how quickly time flies. I mean, I remember when you sent me the text message, I remember moving through that pregnancy. And I just remember thinking like, Wow. Like how quickly this all happened. And I can’t believe he’s nine months old, but Natalia bless you.

Bless your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing what you shared here. And I know that it’s going to be changing lives. So thank you for sharing with us. Thank you so much, Rosanne, for everything. Loves, wasn’t Natalia’s story just an incredible affirmation of the power that is in a woman’s heart when she keeps saying her hell yes, stands behind her dream, and doesn’t take no for an answer?

It’s just incredible and I hope that you took some really powerful nuggets of wisdom. From Natalia’s story. And if you want to learn what I taught Natalia and have taught so many women around the world, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are actually committed to success, more committed to success than committed to their excuses. And if you want to apply for an interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there.

My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results, like Natalia’s, speak for themselves. And if you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results.

Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, HELL YES!

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