In A Word With Jacey Verdicchio podcast

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Mother's Day 6:39

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6:39

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! Instead of the typical themed issue, today I’m sharing a trio of poems about my birth and mothering experiences as we head into Mother’s Day weekend. Traditionally, Mother’s Day has been interpreted in a fairly narrow way, leaving some excluded. While motherhood is worth honoring, I wish that we did a better job of celebrating the life givers in our midst. People are giving birth every day to art and ideas. People are sustaining and nurturing life in hospitals and homeless shelters, on crisis hotlines and basketball court sidelines. I do not mean to dilute the role of a mother, but to remember how many ways there are to take care, nurture, and give life. I love that we honor the work mothers do. I also think mothering work, broadly applied, is desperately needed throughout our communities. We need people who mend, nurture and sacrifice more than ever. Thanks for listening! If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Heroic Homebodies 9:35

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9:35

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is not a typical episode. This is me, reaching out in the midst of unprecedented times. I tend to process by writing, so I’m just here to offer what I’ve been thinking and writing. And of course, a benediction. In this episode, I’m reading “Heroic Homebodies,” and sharing the things we’re watching and reading during this time at home. Thanks for listening, and please take care. If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Listen 8:37

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8:37

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is Episode 11: listen. In this episode, I’m sharing a piece called Listening Is A Love Language, and a closing benediction. Meet me back in your inbox to explore the rest of the collection! If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Subtract 10:25

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10:25

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is Episode Ten: subtract. In this episode, I’m sharing an essay called Cardboard Graveyard (about what I’m giving up for Lent), a poem called Gravity (about confidence dwarfed by an arbitrary number), and a closing benediction. Meet me back in your inbox to explore the rest of the collection! As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Heart 8:23

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8:23

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is episode nine: heart. In this episode, I’m sharing an essay called Paper Heart, a poem called Sleep Training, and a closing benediction. Meet me back in your inbox to explore the rest of the collection! As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Plan 7:07

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7:07

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is episode eight: plan. In this episode, I’m sharing some thoughts (and angst) about the new year, and a closing benediction. Meet me back in your inbox to explore the rest of the collection! As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Attention 10:59

for 5 years siden10:59

10:59

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! How to listen: You can hit the play button above to listen on your desktop. OR you can listen in your podcast app by clicking “listen in podcast app.” A link will be emailed to you. Open the link on your phone and it will add In A Word to your podcast app like magic! This is episode seven: attention. In this episode, I’m sharing an essay about attention investment, a poem about memory keeping and two benedictions. Meet me back in your inbox to explore the rest of the collection, including some fantastic articles. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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7 ways to cultivate contentment 15:48

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15:48

Hey y’all, In place of a typical issue, today I’m sharing something I made for you, and for me: 7 Ways to Cultivate Contentment . (Press the play button or click “listen in podcast app” above for the audio version.) Contentment is deeper than happiness, and broader than joy. We all want it, but pursuing it feels counterintuitive. If we chase the feeling of not needing to chase things, are we like dogs chasing our tails? Contentment isn’t yet another to-do list item we can check off. It is not to be attained, but cultivated. But how ? I’m no expert, but I’ve got some things I use in my contentment practice that you might consider adding to yours. I made this guide because I needed some practical reminders of things to do when I get pulled into the vortex of discontentment. First, I want to be honest with you. I’ve been sitting on this for months. I started to wonder: is it morally irresponsible to be content when there is so much in the world that needs repairing? Is contentment a cop-out? A head-in-the-sand privilege? When I think of contentment, I don’t mean living in a bubble and suspending empathy. I don’t mean crafting a life that includes everything I want, so I no longer want. Too often, the small things I chase to feel whole distract me from big, weighty pursuits. Or, as C.S. Lewis puts it in The Weight of Glory , “…it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” Perhaps we can get to the real work when we aren’t perpetually spinning to overcome some deficiency in ourselves or our circumstances. We do not have to prove our worth or earn our right to be here. In fact, we can’t. Our lives have been given to us by our Creator. So are we going to waste time wringing our hands over what we lack? Some days, probably. The bulk of my last week was spent doing just that. I looked at unkempt corners of my home and felt disgust. I looked in dusty corners of my heart and felt contempt. It was embarrassing, how quickly my soul shrank into a Chihuahua quivering in a thunderstorm. While I was trying not to pee myself in a corner, metaphorically, I worried that this guide doesn’t say anything we don’t already know. Well, it doesn’t. Because even though it isn’t easy, contentment isn’t complicated. It’s a practice, not a formula, and cultivating it will be a lifelong project. If we assume it should come naturally and berate ourselves when it doesn’t, discontent will eat us alive. It will serve as a perpetual distraction from the real work. If we consider it too beneath the Big Problems in our world, it won’t stop affecting us. It will just be insidious, beneath the surface, sabotaging our every move. I’d have sent this sooner if not for all my handwringing, but now feels just about perfect. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and we could probably all do with a minute to stand still and bear witness to the good unfolding around us. If you like the guide, I would be so grateful if you shared it! Feel free to use these images or the phone wallpapers for easy sharing on social media. Tag me @jaceyverdicchio so that I can thank you, and possibly re-share! (New In A Word subscribers will get the guide in their welcome email, so you can point them towards the sign up.) I’ll randomly choose someone who shares this week (11/5 - 11/11) to send my favorite fall candle ! (Who doesn’t feel more content in the glow of a candle?) Shoutout to Erin at Primavera Studio for her beautiful design work! May we have eyes to see the beauty in our midst, arms to embrace our proximate people, feet planted where we are, and hands ready to do good, here and now. Some links in this email are affiliate links, which means if you use them and buy something, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Retrospect 7:28

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7:28

Welcome to In a Word, a newsletter that cultivates thoughtfulness, one word at a time. If a friend forwarded you this email, click the button to subscribe: Hey there! I recently shared some thoughts on perfectionism on Instagram . I’d had a rough week or so, in my own head. I hesitated to share about it, because it feels so navel-gazey and self indulgent to wax on about how I cannot cope in the midst of my very good and #blessed existence. But this has been one of my most masochistic tendencies around perfectionism—to heap it onto the pile of things I berate myself for: why can’t you stop being so hard on yourself? Feeling bad for feeling bad has never made me feel better. And crippling anxiety and upheaval that starts in my own mind is still crippling. So I shared that post when I genuinely thought I was coming out of it. But I kept feeling retroactive dread, which is how I define feeling regret, but combined with fear about what the regrettable thing means . (A thoughtless comment becomes a referendum on my character, a hyperbolized fear that no one will ever confide in me again.) While this anxiety maelstrom was happening in my gut (and often spilling over to unsuspecting innocents in my life), I was trying to work on a project related to this newsletter. But you know what doesn’t pair well with creative work? An outsized fear of mistakes, and what those mistakes will mean. Perhaps it will not surprise you that I wanted to crawl in bed every time I tried to work on it. And that the phrase, “I tender my resignation from the internet” crossed my mind every couple hours. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that’s how I felt. I wasn’t going to release an issue today, because I’d spent all my writing time buried under myself. But then the word retrospect came to mind. It’s commonly accepted that “hindsight is 20/20,” but it’s not, not always. In the midst of a perfectionism flare up, hindsight lies to me. It paints the past in a self-focused light that paralyzes me from moving forward. I’m so grateful to be in the flow of creativity again, however flawed the product. Thanks for joining me in diving backwards this week. PS. Listen to In A Word’s companion podcast here , or by using the play button or “listen in podcast app” link above. In this issue, you’ll find a toast to the past, followed by a retrospective collection, and a closing benediction. A Toast— To all the plans that went awry, to all the roads not taken. To the romances that blew up, and the business ideas that didn’t. To the false starts and failures that lit my cheeks on fire. To bright ideas that flickered out, to tear-stained rejection letters and unrequited crushes.⁣ ⁣ To the unfinished drafts and unkept promises. To unseen dangers bypassed, and treasures I only recognized as fool’s gold once they’d passed me by. To goals that turned my knuckles white before I knew to let them go.⁣⁣ Here’s to all I ever wanted, and didn’t get. I wouldn’t trade now for all the ever-afters I imagined, and so I toast them for leading me here. Recursion probes the same themes as Stephen King’s 11/22/63 (about a man trying to retroactively prevent the assassination of JFK) but more compellingly and in half the pages. The recently released 1619 Project is a somber, evocative reckoning with the impact of slavery in America over the 400 years since the first ship carrying enslaved Africans landed on our shores. I’ve been listening to the audio series . (Novelist Jesmyn Ward’s piece at the end of episode two is particularly stunning.) Girl, Disrupted : Anna Weiner reflects on her four years working in the start-ups. Hello Forgetfulness; Hello Mother : An aging writer reflects on her mother’s decline, and her own. Some last links worth a click: * In Retrospect, The Theme for Chad’s 4th Birthday Party Should Not Have Been “Stanford Prison Experiment” * The 25 Most Important Characters of the Past 25 Years May the past be our teacher, but never our master. May we look back to see what’s keeping us from moving forward. If we find painful words reverberating off the cave walls of a dark memory, may we begin the work of letting them go. May we no longer be shrunk, defined, or imprisoned by someone else’s projected pain. May we take heart while fumbling through foggy days, thirsting for clarity. When our eyes strain to see what’s ahead, our feet are learning to move through the vapor of uncertainty. Beyond our quest to be like gods—all knowing, all seeing—is the very hand of God, outstretched to meet ours. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! Some links in this email are affiliate links, which means if you use them and buy something, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Better 15:46

for 6 years siden15:46

15:46

Welcome to In a Word, a newsletter that cultivates thoughtfulness, one word at a time. If a friend forwarded you this email, click the button to subscribe: Hey there! Here we are, a day into fall, a week from turning the corner into October. A friend told me last week that September is one of the hardest months of the year for people (based on spikes in suicide rates and depression). If you’re struggling, I hope you know you’re not alone. Quick reminder: In A Word now has a companion podcast ! You can listen by hitting the play button at the top of the email, or by clicking the “Listen in podcast app” link below the play button. (Make sure to click the link from your phone if you want to listen in your podcast app.) The podcast gives me space to share more thoughts that don’t fit in this already lengthy newsletter. Join me there for even more cultivated thoughtfulness! In this issue, we’re exploring the word “better.” For optimists, optimizers and idealists, the idea that things can always get better is full of hope. In some cases, we must come to terms with things that won’t get better. In others, we must train our eyes to see minuscule drops of grace and tiny steps forward. This theme has a lot for us to ponder, so let’s dive in! In this issue, you’ll find a essay about how Trader Joe’s has made me a better person, followed by a better collection, and a closing benediction. I have never seen a cart rack in a Trader Joe’s parking lot, yet I have scarcely seen an abandoned cart. Certain grocery stores require a quarter deposit to use a cart, appealing to cold, monetary interests—return your cart, get your quarter back. Other stores, also honest about the human tendency towards laziness and entropy, simply pay an employee to corral the carts. At Trader Joe’s, I wouldn’t dare set a bag of Ghost Pepper chips I changed my mind about (when I remember that I have the heat tolerance of an edamame bean) in some random aisle. Why is that? When you are treated like a human, you act like a human. We can either live by the rule that high expectations will always disappoint us, or we can live in the world of Trader Joe’s. Joe has surveyed the land, from a magical warehouse in Monrovia, the only warehouse in the history of ever with flattering lighting, probably. (Make no mistake, THERE ARE PEANUTS PROCESSED IN THIS FACILITY, but Joe always warns you and keeps an Epi pen in his smock pocket, right next to the Everlasting Gobstoppers.) Joe has watched us retreat from neighborhood groceries. He has watched us sort ourselves into smaller and smaller echo chambers. He has watched us let ourselves and each other down. He’s seen it all, and he’s bet on our better nature. Trader Joe’s goes above and beyond in the hopes that we, the customers, and society, will, too. Here are just a handful of ways Trader Joe’s has made me a better person: * I’m more adventurous. By nature, I’m a routine oriented person, content to eat the same breakfast every day. But over the years I’ve ventured to try cookie butter (okay so maybe that was no risky wager), healthy spinach dip, thai chili dusted almonds, and chips made from peas, sweet potatoes, beets, (even godforsaken corn). Joe has convinced me to go out on a limb time and time again, with his ridiculous no-questions-asked return policy. * I’ve joined the plant lady ranks. My first foray into houseplants was an impulse buy at Trader Joe’s. I couldn’t resist the Easter Lily, nestled in its festively wrapped plastic pot, $6.99 a price low enough to risk. Now I’ve got potted plants everywhere, cleaning the dirty diaper and dog scented air of my home. * I’ve become a “just because” gift giver. Mini bouquets, small boxes of truffles and seasonal candles make it easy to pick up a pick-me-up for a friend in the midst of a weekly grocery trip. * I am more kind to the earth. Reusable bags became a fixture in my backseat because TJ’s makes them so vibrant and appealing. (I may also have been enticed by the gift card drawing for bag bringers, though I’ve been entering for 15 years and have yet to win.) Sure, after years of use, the bottom may be stained with blueberry juice (or likely something more sinister, but no one’s gotten E. Coli, so it’s fine). Still, their bright patterns are irresistible, checkout after checkout. * I’ve reclaimed the virtues of small talk. Trader Joe’s employees make conversation, but not to upsell you something you don’t want. It’s more of a, “hey human, I, a fellow human, see you, and acknowledge your humanity. And yes, I would love to show you where we moved the Clif bars,” vibe. More often than not, I see someone I know while shopping. In another store I might feel tempted to turn the other way, especially if the interaction poses a high awkwardness risk. But in TJ’s, I’m infected by a largesse of spirit, remembering names and kissing babies like a politician. It’s refreshing not to be anonymous in a public space, even if it’s uncomfortable. I may be an idealist, but even I can admit the limitations of an inexplicably Hawaiian branded grocery store to change the wider culture. But for a blissful 30 minutes a week, an errand becomes an adventure as I enter this oasis of creative samples and lighthearted customer service. If we can stop leaving carts in the parking lot likes monsters, what else can we accomplish? Surely we can solve healthcare. Or at least deliver a Trader Joe’s bag of sustenance to a sick friend’s doorstep. Follow me on Instagram for weekly TJ’s finds. They won’t help you with your meal plan, but they might make your day. Athleisure, Barre, and Kale: The Tyranny of the Ideal Woman : “These days, it is perhaps even more psychologically seamless than ever for an ordinary woman to spend her life walking toward the idealized mirage of her own self-image.” Better Than Before is Gretchen Rubin’s book dedicated to habit change. Her suggestions are practical, easy to implement, and research-based. She also offers these great one-page resources to download, like “The Better Than Before Habits Manifesto.” #5 particularly caught my attention: “Things often get harder before they get easier.” A sister grapples with how to help her brother struggling with mental illness : One day his caseworker said to me: “What you need to understand is that he’s not going to be ‘fixed.’ He’ll have good days and bad days. He’s trying. But don’t ever forget that he is a person. He isn’t just an illness.” As a new (somewhat skeptical) user of the Calm app , I was delighted by My New Meditation App Makes Me Feel So Much Better Than You : “Using the app changed the relationship I have with my iPhone X. After examining my deepest intentions, I decided to upgrade.” A few weeks ago, my friend had the flu. I didn’t have time to cook her a meal, but I picked up these favorites from Trader Joe’s for her. (I also included a couple cups of ramen that TJ’s now sells and she said those were “the ultimate sick food,” so keep that in your back pocket, too.) A few last links worth a click: * Joy the Baker teaches us how to be better bakers * Why does wine get better with age? * “No card can make this better” card for the occasions when you don’t know what to say * Song lyric print of Jack Johnson’s “Better Together” May we celebrate three steps forward, even as we take one back. Progress is praiseworthy, however small. May we sense the unquantifiable—the progress we cannot chart on a graph, but know in our bones. May we remember that we are more than our output, that we are human by design, not by defect. May we refuse to morph into robotic imitations of ourselves, chasing wholeness through time management apps and productivity hacks. May we opt out of optimization when we find our humanity, our joy, and our healing hang in the balance. As always, I’d also love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! Forward this email to a friend, or take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! Some links in this email are affiliate links, which means if you use them and buy something, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Change 11:34

for 6 years siden11:34

11:34

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter ! This is episode four: change. ( You can read the change issue of the newsletter here .) I’ve been thinking about change a lot for the past three years. My husband named 2017 the “year of transition,” which is a gentle way of saying “year of change.” He got tenure, and I quit podcasting. I stayed at my job, but it changed dramatically. We moved apartments, and many of our close friends moved away. We had a baby. We kept comforting ourselves with this “year of transition” business when the upheaval felt like too much, promising ourselves that a new homeostasis would somehow arrive with a new calendar year. I’m not sure when in 2018 that we looked up at each other and said, “Is this just adulthood? A constant transition from one thing to the next?” I read a book this summer that was illuminating for me in a lot of ways. In the early chapters, I wasn’t even sure I would stick with it. By the end, I had goosebumps and was tearing up at the end of every chapter. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is a memoir of sorts. The author is a therapist, and a personal upheaval in her own life prompts her to seek therapy for herself. The book interweaves her story with the stories of several of her clients, and its central question is: how do people change? Relevant to our discussion here, I’d say. In one of her sessions with her therapist, he says: “the nature of life is change, and the nature of people is to resist change.” This little quote gave me so much comfort while simultaneously exploding this neat little story Mike and I had been telling ourselves about “transition.” We’d been naively imagining change in a time bound box, a state that would eventually leave us alone. There are changes we set out to make- the new exercise routine, the daily prayer practice, the drastic haircut. As someone who thrives on these kind of changes and resists even the most minor of changes not of my making, I wonder if we make the changes we can to stave off the ones we can’t control. In the last episode, Dream, I mentioned that my big dreams are often the mechanism I think will make me feel how I want to feel. Similarly, the changes we choose are about how we want to feel, and how we don’t. We want to feel capable, confident, strong, loved, and successful. Maybe we seek a career change, a hair color, a yoga class to get there. On the flip side, we don’t want to feel out of control, unstable, like a victim of circumstance or rejected. Hence our resistance to the unexpected job loss, errant gray hair, canceled yoga class. It seems that our relationship with change is a complicated one: we crave it, and we resist it. We fear it to the point of denial at times, and we feel desperate for it at others. One year a cascade of change gives us whiplash; another, we feel stuck, afraid nothing will ever change. We feel unmoored by change, and electrified by it. We orchestrate it, and we feel blindsided by it. We lament it in other people, when we feel left behind or rejected in the wake of their transformations. And, we wring our hands over unhealthy family scripts, toxic tendencies, and addictive compulsions that play out the same, every time. We wait a long time to admit it, even to ourselves, when marble solid beliefs have slowly been carved into a different shape. If you’re listening to this in real time, we’re on the edge of a change of seasons. There’s something about this particular shift, from summer to fall, that lends itself to fresh starts. Wallace Stegner puts it well, in this quote from Angle in Repose : “That old September feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and football in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year's mistakes had been wiped clean by summer.” I hope you find yourself at the beginning of some welcome change this almost-fall day. Listen to the episode for a poem and benediction on this theme! As always, I’d also love to hear your thoughts on anything this episode calls to mind for you. Connect with me on Instagram or email me (jacey@jaceyverdicchio.com) to let me know! Gratefully, Jacey If you like In a Word, please share it! * Take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! * Use the arrow button below to share on Facebook or Twitter. * Text the link to a friend. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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Dream 9:05

for 6 years siden9:05

9:05

Welcome to the companion podcast to the In A Word newsletter! This is episode three: dream. My husband dreams about traffic on the way to the airport. Not day-to-day traffic, but the kind that makes him detour into the entirely wrong city. He dreams that he is at a crowded restaurant, with a large party, and they can’t find his reservation. The group assembled behind him is a crashing of his worlds: a grad school mentor, an acquaintance who’s moved, his niece. He wakes up knowing he didn’t miss the flight, or fumble the reservation, but he can’t shake the anxiety. His body reads the subconscious stresses as gospel, even as his mind points to fact. I have been dreaming lately of the past. I dream about people I haven’t thought of in years that once meant the world to me. I dream of acquaintances that meant little to me. I dream of things I’m too afraid to know, memories I no longer trust. In the dark, while I am safe under the covers, my mind works them out. Upon waking, I allow myself to ask if my dreams are trying to tell me something, if God is. Dreams are figments of our imaginations. But sometimes they’re more true than what we tell ourselves in the light of day. And then there are the dreams we’re desperate to translate into reality. Dream jobs and homes. Dream vacations and dream days. I’m not opposed to such dreams, though I’ve been wondering what’s behind them lately. I’m convinced that usually, the job, the house, the baby isn’t about the tangible thing itself, but how we want to feel . Maybe owning a home feels like security, achieving a professional goal or having a child feels like significance. This is the tricky way we begin to put existential stakes on the tangible, changeable pieces of our lives. So I’ve begun to ask myself what I really want when I set my sights on lofty dreams. I might never stop seeking meaning or security or confidence through new jeans, an organized pantry, or accolades, but I’m at least going to be honest about what I’m really aiming for. And here’s my deep hope: that the big dreams my generation has been taught to chase would extend beyond us and outgrow us. That our big dreams wouldn’t simply be to serve ourselves, but to serve the world. That we could keep a kernel of vision untouched by cynicism, turn our collective gaze from our navels to the world. This is the big dream. I don’t know how to get there. I should probably start with organizing this closet, right? (Not a complete transcript of the episode, but other written pieces can be found in the newsletter proper!) Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

1
Wait 14:50

for 6 years siden14:50

14:50

Welcome to In a Word, a newsletter that cultivates thoughtfulness, one word at a time. If a friend forwarded you this email, click here to subscribe . Hey there! Three exciting things about this issue- an audio edition, a new look, and a giveaway! * You may have noticed the giant “play” button at the top of this email. That’s because there’s an audio edition of this issue. To listen in your podcast app of choice, click the “listen in podcast app” link just below the player. Click here for step-by-step instructions to add it to your podcast app manually if this email was forwarded to you, or if you’re reading in a browser. Or, hit the play button to listen right in your browser. * I worked with Erin of Primavera Studio to refresh the graphics and aesthetic of the newsletter! * To celebrate one year and the new look, I’m giving away a gift card to someone who shares In A Word on social media this week. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio so I see that you shared.) Gift card is winner’s choice: $10 to Target or Starbucks. I’ll choose a winner (by random selection) on August 20th! In this issue, we’re exploring the word “wait.” A paradox of my generation is that we don’t have to wait for anything but we’re always waiting for something. We can one-click order most anything, skip grocery lines with order pickup, and get instant feedback on Instagram. But existentially, we’re holding our breath, waiting for our lives to mean something. Waiting for a partner, a calling, a pregnancy to arrive so our real lives can begin. If we trained ourselves to wait when the stakes are inconsequential, I wonder if we could more easily step into the flow of life and stop waiting for it to begin. I wonder if the existential hope and dread of life would dissipate some if we didn’t live every minute looking for something outside of what’s already here. In this issue, you’ll find an essay about the caution parents give new parents to ‘“ just wait.” Then, you’ll find a collection themed around waiting, and a closing benediction. “Oh, just wait.” Occasionally, it’s presented as encouragement in an Instagram post “to moms of littles” from a mom of bigs: one day, they’ll wipe their own butts, and sleep in, and load the dishwasher instead of unloading it onto the floor while you try to load it. Sometimes it’s said smugly, by a grizzled mom who’s seen the front lines of bodily fluid spills, cross-eyed exhaustion, and high-decibel screaming. She laughs in the face of your hypothetical ideals. She can’t help but smirk sideways at your intentions—plans that she, too, once laid. What seems to really get under her skin is the hubris , the illusion of control. Maybe it’s rooted in lingering shame over the ways she feels she “failed.” Maybe it’s retroactive repulsion at her former self’s naiveté. For one reason or another, she’s compelled to spew her hard-won, fire-tried perspective onto unsuspecting pregnant ladies. She holds high this poor woman’s labor/breastfeeding/sleep training hopes and sends them plummeting like a watermelon from a second story window. She is desperate to disabuse this woman—or maybe her former self—of her dreamy ideals. Enjoy your fashion-forward overalls while you can; you’ll be wearing milk-stained sweatpants with a busted waistband for the next decade! Even the “dear moms of little ones” genre often drips with condescension. They’re hitting a more harmonious note, but I can hear that minor key in the background. They still know better than you. They know that these days of endless runny noses and rejected vegetables are to be cherished , because it will all be over soon— too soon. Their wistfulness is withering to those of us in the trenches, because the desire to see for ourselves is as deeply held as their desire to show us a better way. We want to believe that we will not have to surrender the whole of ourselves on the altar of motherhood. We want to believe that it’s not an altar at all, consuming our sacrifices with ravenous hunger, but just another role we can add to our textured view of ourselves. We are holding out hope that it won’t be the slog we so often see portrayed in media, social and otherwise. Just two years in, my parenting “philosophy” bears many (teeth) marks of reality. Resolve and limits have been tested. The rubber has met the road—(and my daughter’s mouth, when breastfeeding didn’t work for us). You’ve never met someone more determined than I was to give birth without pain relief. I wasn’t going to “wait and see” how labor went—I was committed. But my labor ended abruptly with a Cesarean. I was equally hell-bent on breastfeeding. Like many women, I assumed something so “natural” would come, well, naturally . Unlike labor, which ended after 18 hours, (my steel will be damned), I dragged the battle to breastfeed over six grueling months of misery. I had no choice but to follow my body’s surrender when I stopped producing milk altogether. So, am I one of those opinion-spewing moms now, here to tell you that breastfeeding isn’t really that important, and that “healthy mom, healthy baby” is the only delivery outcome that matters? I’ll never forget a conversation with our pediatrician when I was at my wit’s end with breastfeeding struggles. “Is it important to you?” she asked. When I said yes, she said, “Then we keep trying.” In that moment she gave me both the freedom to stop if I wanted, and the encouragement to keep going. She gave me the agency to choose without flippantly waving off my desire. Desire and determination may be good, or they may be misplaced, but they are nearly impossible to talk a person out of with such flimsy stuff as reason . I’d have ripped the butt paper off the table in rage if she’d dared to tell me about the advances in formula nutrition in that moment. For me, it wasn’t about the inherent value of my birth plan or breastfeeding, but how they were totems of stubbornly held beliefs I needed to shed. Like, that I can bend reality by sheer force of will and white-knuckling. That to stop short of doing “everything I can” would be failure. That the birth and nourishing of a baby, animal and miracle at once, can be so crudely drawn in terms of “success” or “failure.” Perhaps the advice-giving mothers aren’t filled with bitter regret for their “failures.” Perhaps they regret categorizing their mothering choices into columns—success v. failure, good v. bad—in the first place. Perhaps their wills have been broken, and what they found on the other side wasn’t the heartache of defeat, but the freedom of accepting their own humanity. That’s what happened to me, anyway. A world of liberating nuance opened up for me as a mother, and as a person. I’ve tended toward black-and-white, moralistic thinking my whole life, and these initiating motherhood experiences finally shook some of that loose. I’m like the blind person Jesus healed by rubbing clay in his eyes. My crystalized vision needed muddying so I could better see grace. What I deemed precious gems had to be pried from my hands for me to see that they were actually fool’s gold. Expecting moms and new moms: I don’t know if it will be like this for you. But if you’re afraid of losing yourself, like I was—maybe you will. Maybe you’ll lose parts of yourself you didn’t even know were weighing you down. Maybe one day you’ll meet your tired eyes in the mirror and by magical paradox, you’ll see all you’ve gained through what you’ve lost. Oh, and if you’re even a little inclined to, definitely wear the maternity overalls. In the Waiting Room of Estranged Spouses - a man finds comfort in coincidences while he’s hurting. Wait for Me chronicles the boundless, legendary loyalty of dogs. I will never, ever get tired of reading stories like this. My favorite part is when Helen Keller describes her puppy as an “angel in fur.” GOOD BOY. I really like the blog Wait But Why . Its posts are insightful and funny about human motivation, self-sabotage and more. Why Procrastinators Procrastinate is a good one to start with. Emily P. Freeman has some wise words for us about waiting in the “Wait, Now Go” episode of The Next Right Thing podcast. I appreciated this honest grappling with the unsatisfying void the author finds between shame-driven purity culture and a consent ethic. Summer will forever hold memories of waiting for Bets: A few last links worth a click: * This homemade bread takes 18+ hours to rise, but is worth the wait. Bookmark it for fall! * The Hamilton cast performs a 360º version of Wait For It: * I used to have this song on a “Calm” playlist in college and I forgot how good it is: * As a person, 2019 John Mayer > 2010 John Mayer, but doesn’t his shaggy mop remind us of simpler times? In the waiting rooms of life, may agitation give way to settled calm. May we learn to hold our breath without feeling like we’re underwater. May we settle into the in-between, waiting with hope rather than dread, hope that extends like a daisy chain, one moment at a time. When we find ourselves waiting for the other shoe to drop, may we feel the ground beneath us. Both shoes are present and accounted for, rooting us here, now. As always, I’d also love to hear your thoughts on anything this issue calls to mind for you. Simply respond to this email to let me know. And share In A Word this week if you’d like to enter the giveaway! Gratefully, Jacey Connect with me elsewhere: Instagram | Twitter If you like In a Word, please share it! * Forward this email to a friend. * Take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter)! * Use the arrow button below to share on Facebook or Twitter. * Text the link to a friend. Some links in this email are affiliate links, which means if you use them and buy something, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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In a Word with Jacey Verdicchio

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In A Word- Vacation (interview with Courtney Clark Cleveland) 1:03:23

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Welcome to this audio companion to the In A Word newsletter! Click “Listen in podcast app” link above, just below the player, to listen. (If this is the first email you’re getting from me, welcome! You can read the latest issue of the newsletter—In A Word: Vacation—here.) My original vision for In A Word included a podcast, but I wasn’t sure what that would even look like. Interviews? Me reading my essays or poems, spoken-word style, with snaps? I’m still not sure. But while I was working on the vacation issue , my friend Courtney was taking her family of five on their annual—as in, they do it EVERY YEAR—weeks-long road trip. And it struck me that this would be the perfect trial podcast-y content for In A Word. (Terri Pershey DM’ed me the phrase “audio postcard,” which is the perfect description.) Courtney agreed to sit down with me, so that’s what we did! How to listen: * If you want to listen in your podcast app, the easiest way is to click the “Listen in podcast app” link at the top of this email. * Or, you can add it manually by pasting this URL into your app: https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/1820.rss Here’s what that looks like in the Apple Podcasts app: * Or, you can simply click the play button at the top of the email and listen on your phone or computer. ( You’ll be using Wifi or data to listen since you won’t be downloading it, so be aware of that.) If this ever becomes a more regular thing, I’ll certainly submit it as a show to iTunes so you can subscribe like you would any other podcast. But thanks for bearing with me in the meantime! Things Courtney mentioned: * Kid road trip activities: Look and See books, Water Wow, crayons, markers, coloring sheets (NOT books), journal, audiobooks, movies. * USA’s Best Trips Guidebook * Road trip snacks: bougie beef jerky, fancy popcorn, cheese sticks, plantain chips, granola, guac single serving cups, fruit snacks, microwaveable mac and cheese. * Vacucraft water bottles * Elta MD sunscreen (this is the one I recently bought) Connect with Courtney: * Instagram (She is a fantastic follow!) * All The Best Days podcast I’d love to hear your thoughts on this audio postcard! Simply respond to this email to let me know. Gratefully, Jacey Connect with me elsewhere: Instagram | Twitter If you like In a Word, please share it! Here’s how: * Forward this email to a friend. * Take a screenshot of your favorite part to share on Instagram. (Tag me @jaceyverdicchio and use hashtag #inawordnewsletter!) * Use the arrow button below to share on Facebook or Twitter. * Text the link to a friend. Some links in this email are affiliate links, which means if you use them and buy something, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit inaword.substack.com…

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