The Procrastination Planet podcast

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61. Literary Catfishing: The JT Leroy Story 46:46

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46:46

In which the gals dish the dirt about a very Gen X literary scandal about the child prodigy who wasn’t. Digressions include plastic surgery, teenage edgelords, and what it means to be white-trash married.

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REMASTERED Episode 60. Safe Snorting and Dead Imaginary Boyfriends: The Teen Idols Episode 46:47

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46:47

In which Carlye and gal pal Donna discuss their top teen idols and other assorted heartthrobs. Basically it was an excuse to make more 70s references. Digressions include the Mandela Effect, chewing tobacco, level-ups, and going to Hell. PS: The previous rendition of this episode had problems, hence the remastered track.…

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59. Stanning for Annie Wilkes, or: Putting the Whore in Horror 54:34

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54:34

In which Sabrina and Carlye discuss their favorite horror villains. Digressions include growing up with the Night Stalker, starting beef with Huey Lewis and the News, and giving praise to Montana Duke's bleach-fried hair. Sabrina also wants to remind the chubby gals out there to be rude as shit so you won't be made into a skin suit.…

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58. Burn Down the Cornfield: Creepy Kids in Horror Movies 45:45

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45:45

In which Carlye and gal pal Donna discuss the specific creepiness of children in horror movies. Digressions include bowl cuts, devil banjos, Robby Benson, and much much more! The gals also miss the opportunity to make a projectile vomit joke. Blame it on the 'rona!

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57. The Accidental Tourist in Quarantine 54:30

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54:30

In which Carlye and Jill dissect Anne Tyler's classic novel The Accidental Tourist, a novel about a travel writer who hates travelling. Digressions include Manic Pixie Dream Girls, embarrassing crushes, and dated dog training practices.

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56. Notes from Quarantine Exile 49:46

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49:46

In which Carlye and Sabrina discuss what they've been reading and writing whilst waiting out the 'rona. Digressions include skin care, library cooties, and tax the fucking billionaires already! This may or may not be a soapboxy episode. Holly chimes in as well.

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55. A Bowie-Jagger Sandwich: Fashion in Fiction and Other Ramblings 58:32

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58:32

In which Carlye and Donna talk about their favorite movie and TV fashions as well as their own sartorial choices throughout the decades. Digressions include leather pants, cocaine haircuts, and what it takes to be 70s-hot. Plus listen to Holly as she barks a few opinions of her own. Errata: Carlye meant to say Pucci, not Gucci when talking about Casino. Also, "best costume Grammy"? Someone let the 'rona rot their brain!…

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54. Don't Call It a Comeback: The Off-Topic Quarantine Episode 44:30

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44:30

In which the gals stay extramuch on-brand and return from their hiatus way later than planned. This week’s topics include thirst-trap snacks, breaking up Stanley Tucci’s marriage, and figuring out your dogs’ zodiac signs. This episode is also dedicated to Charlie, our OG podcast pup who never failed to make his presence known. The poor little guy lost his battle with CHF early this June and we miss him like crazy. DISCLAIMER: We are in the time of the ‘rona and therefore had to record via Zoom. So please forgive any audio wonk that abounds.…

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The Big Apology Announcement 2:52

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2:52

In which Carlye apologizes for having ghosted. Mercury was in retrograde, a pandemic is upon us, and life even without those elements has been insane. So sorry again about this. Procrastination Planet is taking an extended hiatus and then returning with a biweekly format. Stay tuned!

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21.2 REMASTERED: The Murder of Joe Orton 47:11

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47:11

In which the gals blame Mercury retrograde for not having a spanking new episode and rerun a remastered version of their literary true crime deep dive instead because having a for-real hiatus messes up the algorithm. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

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53. Girl Waits with Gun: A Deep(ish) Dive into the Novel 54:47

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54:47

In which Carlye and guest co-host Janene Biggs delve into Girl Waits with Gun by Amy Stewart. The novel is a fictionalized account of how Constance Kopp became the first female deputy in her county back in 1914. The gals discuss what worked and what didn’t and—SPOILER ALERT!—wholeheartedly recommend the book. This episode is proof you can love something and still give a critique. All three Kopp sisters are badass in their own right. Digressions this week include asexuality, astrology, and the war on adverbs. SPOILER ALERT FOR REAL: This episode has spoilers galore. You've been warned. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

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52. Creating Unlikable Characters...On Purpose 22:00

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22:00

In which Carlye flies solo once again and discusses how to create an unlikable character your reader will still care about. This episode was inspired by a mini-rant from last week’s episode. Also, you might hear puppy snoring in the background. TRIGGER WARNING FOR STATUS QUO WARRIORS: There will be feminism. Go hug your Hot Pockets in your mom’s basement if you can’t stand women having opinions you didn’t feed them. ERRATA: Carlye accidentally mention’s Saffy’s maternal instincts when she meant to say Edina’s. AbFab watchers will get it. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

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51. Flesh That Mutha Out: The Shitty First Draft, Part Two 50:57

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50:57

In which Carlye and Jill discuss how to flesh out a skeletal first draft without making it read as if you got paid by the word. They also discuss give share their thoughts on the revision and critique process and accidentally write a thriller. Digressions this episode include weaponized raccoons, unlikable female characters, and why finished basements might be scarier than the unfinished kind. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

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50. Write It Down, Let It Suck: The Sh*tty First Draft, Part One 46:57

for 5 years siden46:57

46:57

Our 50th episode, in which Carlye and guest co-host Jill White discuss the challenges of writing that first draft and the agony of the dreaded blank page. Digressions include senior dog problems, expiration date paranoia, and our secret basic bitch tendencies. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

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49. Solo Sesh: The Extroverted Writer's Guide to Surviving Solitude 24:30

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24:30

In which Carlye starts the New Year by a) doing a solo episode, b) doing a minisode, and c) giving everyone out there a pep talk. This week she talks about the solitary nature of the writer’s life and how to make the most of it when you’re an extrovert. Digressions include beatniks, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and awkward analogies. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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48. Douchebags and Dunking on Duckie: A John Hughes Retrospective 42:43

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42:43

In which Carlye brings back writer gal pal Janene Biggs to discuss and critique some of their #problematicfave John Hughes movies. Digressions include ditching school, the broke bitch life, and much much more. We also invited the podcast pups into the studio, so stay tuned for their shenanigans. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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47. Instant Bestsellers: Writers in Film Versus Reality 45:28

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45:28

In which Carlye and writer gal pal Donna Hearth discuss how writers are portrayed in film vs. writer-life reality. Digressions include fan-fiction, split-screen phone sex, and fake Scottish accents. Also, buckle up, poets! Donna has some hot takes about the genre. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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46. There's a Mystery for That! Our Favorite Fictional Detectives 44:32

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44:32

In which Carlye brings back fellow outlaw writer Jill White to discuss their favorite detectives in books and on screen and also welcome the podcast pups into the studio. Digressions include foul-mouthed kids, senior dogs, and why quaint English villages are the most dangerous places ever. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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45. From Bogart Shaming to Yacht Rock: Our Favorites in Film Noir 50:39

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50:39

In which Carlye brings back her fellow outlaw writer Janene Biggs to discuss their favorite film noir movies. Digressions include reading spoilers, resting bitchface vs. active c*ntface, and how we came to love old movies. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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44. Book Laundering and Feral Cats: Thoughts on the Self-Publishing Process 43:18

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43:18

In which Carlye and special guest co-host Jill White discuss their own journeys in self-publishing. Digressions include career changes, saying “funky” a lot, and animals. You can get Jill’s book here. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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43. All Roads Lead to Swayze: Bad Movies We Love 43:42

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43:42

In which Carlye and guest co-host Donna Hearth discuss their favorite guilty pleasure movies. Digressions include boarding schools, the true origins of Wicca, and that Transatlantic accent you hear in old-timey movies. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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42. Kicking Our Own Asses: How We Keep Ourselves Accountable 38:06

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38:06

In which Carlye and guest co-host Janene Biggs discuss how we stay accountable and (hopefully!) stay productive with our writing habits. Digressions include hot delivery guys, the overlap between the NaNoWriMo and prepper communities, and butt stuff. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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41. Trailer Park Murder Cletus: Movies That Legit Scared Us 46:33

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46:33

In which the gals discuss movies that scared the crap out of them. Maybe that’s why toilet humor and horror tops their list of digressions for the week. Other digressions include time travel, creepypastas, reboots, and more! Spoilers for The Visit in this episode. Also, we apologize for the lateness of this Halloween themed episode. PG&E turned off the power in our area because they’re too irresponsible not to be regulated. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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40. Sexy Azz Ghosts: Campy Horror Movies We Love 47:33

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47:33

In which the gals discuss their favorite campy horror movies. Digressions include reboot hatred, old-school health class videos, grainy 70s daylight and much much more! Possible spoilers for Slice in this episode. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/ Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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3.2 REMASTERED: Our Literary Crushes Episode 47:09

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47:09

In which the gals take a leave of absence because of their crazy schedules (not to worry, you'll have fresh content next week!). They also learn some humility on account of how rough their mic technique was when they first started podcasting. This remastered episode still covers the crushes the gals have had on various literary characters, but cuts out some of the filler and hopefully fixes some of the sound wonk. Digressions include sex robots, banning books, and our first mention of Big Nasty. MATURE CONTENT WARNING: The gals get a little trashy. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Email us! procrastinationplanetpod@gmail.com Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/ Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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39. Vampire Loincloths and Failed Southern Ladies: Funny Books We Love 43:42

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43:42

In which the gals discuss some of the funny books that make them laugh. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, so there may be sequels in the works. Digressions include imposter syndrome, Florida things, the Seattle Freeze, and 1950s lady hygiene. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/ Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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38. Little Tongan on the Prairie: How We Get Inspired 41:16

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41:16

In which the gals talk about what inspired their writing in the past, and what inspires their writing in the present. Digressions include old school beauty books, frontier dream cabins, teacher memories, and the poseur phase everyone goes through when they’re young (or perhaps the gals are projecting?). Background noise alert: The podcast pups really (really really really!) wanted to be let into the studio. Visit procrastinationplanet.com for bonus content! Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Merch: teespring.com/procrastination-planet-podcast Patreon: patreon.com/procrastinationplanet Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/ Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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37. It's Not Slander if It's True: Authors Behaving Badly 50:53

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50:53

In which the gals dig up old dirt and discuss the bad behavior of authors both online and in real life. Digressions include bathroom matches, bitches’ front porches, and Sabrina’s battle with a trademark troll. Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus content. Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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36. Serial Killers and Space Lumber: The Revision Process 47:53

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47:53

In which the gals discuss how they take their books from hot-mess first drafts to bestseller gold! Digressions include uncomfortable name spellings, WebMD rabbit holes, and the infinite wrongness of Neopolitan ice cream. Also revision is like remodelling a home. Find out why in this episode! Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus content. Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/…

The Procrastination Planet Podcast

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35. Disco and Desert Living: Creating Believable Characters 43:28

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43:28

In which the gals discuss what it takes for fictional characters to be believable and compelling. They touch on why universality and ethnicity aren’t mutually exclusive (i.e., diversity shouldn’t equal niche), adding depth, and finding the quirks in the ordinary. Digressions include being spoiled, complaint letters, and Saturday Night Fever. Visit the procrastinationplanet.com episode page for bonus content. Logo designed by C. Trojan at ctrojanart.com Theme music: "Laser Unicorns" by Christian Penn, courtesy of Jamendo Licensing Twitter: @ProcrasPlanet Instagram: @procrastinationplanetpodcast Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/procrastinationplanet/ Sabrina's website: http://www.sabrinamonet.com/ Sabrina's Medium: https://medium.com/@sabrinamonet Carlye's website: https://carlyeknightauthor.wordpress.com/…

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