Tammy Trayer - Faith Led Healing

A Tiny Homestead

Today I'm talking with Tammy Trayer at Faith Led Healing. You can follow on Facebook as well.

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00:00
This is Mary Lewis at A Tiny Homestead, the podcast comprised entirely of conversations with homesteaders, cottage food producers, and crafters. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like, subscribe, share it with a friend, or leave a comment. Thank you. Today I'm really excited to be talking with Tammy Trayer at Faith Led Healing. Good morning, Tammy, how are you? I am wonderful. Thank you, Mary, for having me on here this morning.

00:26
Oh, I'm so thrilled to have you. I've been wanting to do this for a while. And when you said yes, I was like, yay. So tell me about yourself, please. Hey, well, I, I put God first in my life. And as a result of that, I feel like I am living the world's best adventure. My family and I.

00:54
embarked on an off-grid lifestyle going on. 15 years, May this coming year will be 15 years that we've been living off-grid. And we embarked on that when off-grid living wasn't very glamorous. Matter of fact, we had family members and friends betting against us, but we embarked on that. Landed on raw wilderness land, lived in a wall tent for eight and a half months as we built our home.

01:23
And that was the beginning of a really amazing journey. A deep dive for me personally, I believe my family too, but a lot of things have transpired over the years and over those 15 years. And honestly, I believe that my message has morphed out of this lifestyle. And we are right now embarking on going

01:53
a whole lot deeper. We live in North Idaho and now we are expanding to be a community. So, I'm going to take this off-grid journey just so much deeper and family just thrives on simple living detachment.

02:14
and just sharing the message of trying to encourage others to learn how to live a life worth living. Okay, you're fading out just a little bit, Tammy. Can you get closer to the mic? Actually, yeah, let me see if I can do that. And worst case scenario, I can relocate. I am outside and it's a little windy this morning. So is that better? Yeah, it's better and I can still hear the wind. So if you want to move inside, that would be great.

02:41
I will do that and it'll take me two seconds and we can just continue this conversation. Sorry about that. That's okay. Okay. I'm inside. Sorry about that. That's better. Thank you. At least it's not the winds that Georgia's getting right now. Actually it is. Oh, is it? It is. I am visiting right now. Oh. So we are actually getting there. Well no wonder it's so windy. I thought you were in Idaho.

03:10
Not at the moment, but I will be in a day. Okay. So you were saying that you're in Idaho, you're living in Idaho now and you're moving. Is that correct? We are Lord willing, we are embarking on a life dream. 15 years ago, we would have hit the interior of Alaska, but we weren't sure if our son at the time who was 13 would have been ready for such a deep dive. We were.

03:38
but we weren't sure if he was ready for that seclusion. So we hit Idaho first and have been there 15 years. It's just, it nurtures my soul. So I'm, like I said, I'm a very outdoor girl and living as we do, where we do, and then having the opportunity, Lord willing, to step into this deeper space of just being enthralled by the wilderness and God's country. I can't even begin to.

04:08
express what that's going to feel like. Mm-hmm. Okay. So, my biggest question, I guess, is why did you get into the off-grid living in the first place? Well, my husband and I both had an extreme and have an extreme passion for the outdoors. We've met our match. We really feel our best selves when we are in the wilderness. And...

04:38
I was living on 150 acre farm in Pennsylvania at the time when I met him and we just felt this pull to detach in ways that we weren't reliant on the world, its systems and just to be able to more or less live a life by our own terms. We were seeing that, you know, to raise.

05:08
our son, you know, it would be so different than how we were raised. And we wanted to be able to give him that same setting that we had and the opportunity to explore and to be a kid and not be just experiencing the things that kids today do. And that was 15 years ago, you know. So

05:36
things are so different today, but that was the pool, just to be able to embrace a life that by our terms. And we successfully did that. It was, it's been amazing. Awesome. I have to tell you, I'm so glad that you're still in the world because I know you went through some health issues a few years back and it was rough for you for a little bit. Yes, very. I actually had life-saving surgery in 2016.

06:05
I am very open about this. I had lifesaving surgery from breast implant illness and I share very openly because, you know, I had previous surgeries that led to that, but the world, you know, dictates perfection and beauty over health. So I'm very open about it because I'm trying to share that message and also help those that are struggling behind me.

06:33
And that was a passion put on me right from the very beginning, but I never in a million years imagined that in my 50s, I would be schooling and my mess would become such an intensive message. Because I am now an integrative health practitioner and a certified breath worker as a result of my, my journey. And it's really amazing. It's, it's like the best thing I've ever experienced in my life. So.

07:01
Fantastic. I love it when things that go wrong turn into things that become right. Absolutely. Absolutely. Perspective is everything. You know, that's our choice to make a bad situation good. And that is how that's the lenses I live out of. So it makes life really nice because you learn to roll with the punches with if something goes wrong on the homestead, you just roll with it. If health goes south, you roll with it because there's a lesson to be learned.

07:32
I feel there is a lesson to be learned in everything we experience in life. I've gone through some really ugly stuff in my life and I will be the first person to say that I've celebrated because it's made me who I am and I'm thankful for that. Even though it was brutal during it, my focus is always on the other side, not what I'm enduring. Yeah. I don't want to call her out. Someone that I love very much.

07:59
had breast implants done like a year and a half ago. And one of them did not heal correctly. So they had to go in and redo it. And this is a very important person in my life. I don't, like I said, I won't call her out because I don't know that everyone knows about it. And I was so worried for her and everything's okay, but I'm gonna worry until I die about this one because I don't know what's gonna happen next with that.

08:29
And the other thing I wanted to say is as we get older, we tend to not panic as easily about things. My son sliced the tip of his index finger open yesterday afternoon. And instead of freaking out, I was like, okay, let's put pressure on it before we go to the urgent care because maybe it's going to clot on its own, blah, blah, blah. And we waited like 10 minutes. He kept pressure on it and he sliced it just enough so it would not knit or clot.

08:59
So we made an impromptu visit to the urgent care yesterday afternoon so he could get two stitches in his finger. And normally I would have been freaking out because he cut his finger years ago on garden shears and I was not nearly as calm when he did that. So I think that perspective is a real lifesaver, a real sanity saver and the way you view things changes as you get older too. Oh yes.

09:29
Yes, and your circumstances, you know, but I have to say, I have clients on both sides of the spectrum. And my husband said to me when I got into this field that, you know, you're going to have people that you can lead to water and you can't make them drink. And I never in a million years imagined that it would be somebody very close to me, that I'm watching like a bump on the log, just withering away, woes me in these circumstances where I have other people that are going through the same exact...

09:57
things he is and they are thriving. Our minds matter and what we focus on, where we are mentally and emotionally. So like in my practice, I've helped people, not just physically and to get to the root cause of whatever's ailing them, but I try to get their mind right. If we're not mentally, emotionally and spiritually right, we can't be right physically. So...

10:25
You know, my journey has taken me on this deep dive personally. I was flat on my back for a year and I was deathly ill for six years prior to that. And I, I just became, I just did a deep dive with God on my couch. Um, I instantly heard him say to me that I'm going to use you out of that place. The first week was brutal. I really didn't want to be there. I, I may.

10:54
recovered type A and I, you know, I was push, push, push. I love the adrenaline of just doing things and being active. And my family and I would hike 21 miles in a day. And all of a sudden I am flat on my back. Within a day, I got neuropathy in my arms and my legs, helping my son deliver cords of firewood and I couldn't do anything. So, you know, when we are put into those places, we are forced to decide.

11:24
are we going to thrive or are we going to just sit there and wither away? I'm grateful that I had the desire to thrive, but I'm also grateful for the relationship I had with God enough that I pulled in. There was so much self-growth and self-reflection and healing. I've gone through a lot of emotional trauma, well, physical, mental, and emotional trauma in my life.

11:51
And through my nine years of healing, I've been able to really conquer that and step into this place, beautiful place of just loving who I am. And I don't say that in a prideful way, but the majority of our population looks in the mirror and they don't like what they see. They see wrinkles, they see, you know, sun marks, whatever, but they don't like what they see. I'm finally in a place where I don't see all that. I just, I just, I see me and I'm, and I'm desiring to be.

12:20
me where a lot of people again in the world are focusing on what other people think. We had people that were naysaying about us going off grid and that it was the worst thing we could ever do and blah, blah, blah. We just zoned all that out and we embraced what we desired. And I'm so grateful that we did because it has been the most amazing ride. But we allow life. We allow the world and people to dictate.

12:49
how we live our lives. And that is part of my message, is that we need to really step into who we are and where God is taking us and our purpose, and be able to really live a life that we desire to, not what the world dictates, not the nine to five, not what our friends and our family dictate because they're living out of a place of fear. So, I kind of try to bring that all together, but yes, as you said, with your son and...

13:17
I'm cutting his finger. We do we change and that's the important thing is we should be changing every day and And heading in a good direction if we're not moving forward that we're stagnant or going backwards There's something wrong. We need to be able to move forward and that's what I'm trying to give people also in my community I have a free community where they can just gather and feel like they're a part of something and you know kind of lock arms with people that

13:44
maybe are wearing the same pink shady glasses. I was told that in a derogatory way one time by my mother and I own that. I live through pink shady glasses and I celebrate it. Me too. I was not always a rebel or a, I don't know, ceiling breaker.

14:06
Once I got into my 30s, I was like, you know, I don't want to live for other people. I want to live for me and my family and what we believe in and what we want to do. Yeah. And we lost friends because of it. And I'm okay with that because their walk is different than ours. Yeah. Yep. Exactly. We were in the same boat and, and, you know, I'm a true believer that everything happens for a reason, you know, things are removed, doors are open, doors are closed. You know,

14:36
It can be sad, but at the same time, I look at it this way. I've grown to look at it this way, that there was purpose in it all. I gained some new knowledge and there's something better ahead for me. There's other good people coming our way. And I prayed for that and God has blessed us with such tremendous people to replace those that left. And it's just like learning to roll.

15:08
Mm-hmm. Okay. So now we've talked for 15 minutes about all that Tammy has written some books about I think the off-grid living and you have a radio show and You are just all over the place. So a Homesteading is not necessarily off off-grid living They're not always the same thing because we consider ourselves homesteaders and we are not off-grid and probably won't be

15:38
But tell me about the off-grid living experience. Like no electricity, no modern conveniences. So how was that for you when you first started doing it? Amazing. I didn't miss anything. I missed people, but I didn't miss material things. We lived in a eight foot by 14 foot canvas tent.

16:07
for eight and a half months. There were three of us. So my husband and I and our 13 year old son, two dogs and a hamster. And we had a wood stove in there and we each had a very small rubber made tote that had our personal effects in it. So, you know, very simplistic. You reach in, you grab a pair of jeans, you grab a t-shirt, you grab some socks and out the door you go. And we had...

16:33
lighting was headlamps or deep lanterns, the oil lanterns that were hanging in the tent that we lived in. We also had a mess tent. That was our lighting for eight and a half months. We had all of our personal belongings in a storage unit. I will be the first to tell you, it almost made me cry when we brought all that stuff to the house once we moved in because it was so overwhelming.

17:03
I didn't need all that stuff. I didn't miss it for eight and a half months. So we're beginning to step back into that again, where we are gonna be tremendously downsizing and simplifying and just taking our most favorite things. But there is a great power in decluttering and detaching. And you don't have to be off grid or homesteading to feel the joy of that.

17:31
You know, just start decluttering a room and you'll feel it. It's, it's really powerful. And then I didn't really ever use a whole lot of, um, uh, you know, powered appliances. Um, but right now, okay, let me, let me just share a little bit. Our first homestead was around 1800 square feet. Um, we built that homestead from the ground up. We were off grid. We had solar power.

17:58
We had a very large system because my husband makes furniture and he's a jack of all trades and a master of many. He's very humble, but I'm very proud of him because we couldn't be doing what we're doing without him. He is truly a mastermind. He's my MacGyver. I say he can make a pistol out of a paperclip and he probably could. It might have a rubber band, but he'd still do it. But he's amazing. With his skills.

18:28
And I grew up in a home that was built in 1749 and my dad was redoing it. So I spent a lot of time with my dad helping spackle and, and, and, um, do stonework and different things. So I have a level of, um, you know, abilities as well, but we're mine and his pickup and we're his and mine pickup. Cause he's totally technologically challenged. I'm a web designer and programmer by trade.

18:56
So that is what enabled us to take the deep dive is that as long as I had an internet connection, I was able to keep going while we were embarking on this journey. And we had to sell that first homestead. We built that up with a chicken coop, a goat barn, a birthing area. We had a guest cabin, a smoker, a really big garden, bees.

19:26
into a very beautiful place. But because of my healing journey, we needed to sell because we got on this slippery slope and because of medical expenses. So we rebuilt and we now live in a 12 foot by 16 foot cabin. So I can pivot and turn in the middle of my home and see everything, you know, my living room to my kitchen.

19:54
And we do have some modern appliances. I have a washing machine right now. And we harvest all of our meats. So we have a grinder, meat grinder, and a vacuum sealer. But let me share though, on our first homestead, we butchered a moose and put that in our freezer and still had five buck to...

20:24
process that year. So we hand cranked all that moose meat that needed to go to burger and five big buck venison and we canned the venison. We put 113 cans of meat on our shelf that year. So we did do everything very traditionally and we still do but we've added a couple things over time. So we've got the washing machine.

20:50
But that's about it in my kitchen and in my home that I use electric for other than like my laptop and my iPad and stuff. I have a hand crank coffee grinder on my wall. I have the hand crank blender, if you will, on my hanging on the side of my refrigerator. All of the antiques, I love antiques. I don't like modern things. So all my antiques are hanging on the wall. I pull them off, wash them off, use them. So they're my decorations. They're my tools.

21:18
But we do have solar power right now, but let me just share this also. Our first homestead was a 4800 volt system. I now have 400. I have 400 watts coming into my home. Let me just put perspective there. A clothing iron is 800 watts when you're just running it to iron your clothing. If you add the mister, it's 1200 watts just to run an iron.

21:47
So that gives you perspective on the 400 watts I have coming into my home. It's basically to keep things charged and to give us lighting, which is very minimal to begin with. So we do live very simplistic. And I've had people say you're not off grid because you have Internet. Well, yeah, but I still need to make a living and I still need to. And I'm being led to share what we're doing. So I need to have that connection with the world. Though we shut it off so that...

22:17
that connection is gone and we can just be for a while detoxing from our equipment is like super important. I love that and I don't think that everyone is cut out for that lifestyle but I still love it like I am not at place in my life where I want to be off grid but back in my twenties I think I really would have loved it. Okay. Yeah. It's definitely not for everybody.

22:46
And in my book, How to Embrace an Off-Grid Lifestyle, I really share about that because everybody gets this big idea that it sounds glamorous. And in my opinion, it is. But for somebody who's really dependent on the grid and modern-day appliances and things, you can still go off-grid and use all your appliances. It's just going to cost you a lot because...

23:11
you're either going to need a very huge solar system or you're going to need a generator running all the time because you're just overusing power. So you have a big fuel bill. I mean, I, we, we, uh, have clients, you know, we help and assist people to go off grid. And, you know, some of our clients choose to have bigger systems and

23:34
be able to live that way without giving up things where there's others that, you know, are like us, like we're super frugal. You're not in the room, you shut the light off, you know, and just not going into the store and being drawn by all the marketing because, you know, it just takes up space. So you know, we don't purchase on the whim and things like that. But it definitely takes a special person to be able to live the life. And the thing I recommend to people is if you can.

24:02
Go for a week camping somewhere and find an Airbnb that's off-grid or go tent camping or camper camping and just go very minimal and see if it bothers you. To be honest, the week you settle in, you feel the joy, you like it. Try it for like two, three weeks and then make the decision if it's for you because

24:26
A lot of people can feel like they are going without. I never felt that because I'm drawn. I think I was born 200 years too late, so. Yeah, I loved camping up until the last time we went and I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor of the tent and woke up stiffer than I'd been in my entire life. And I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I can't sleep on the ground anymore.

24:55
And the next time we went, we took a air mattress and I slept on that and I was still stiff and I was like, nope, I'm done with camping, but I used to love it. Yes, it's funny how when we age, because my husband and I, when we go, like we don't go typically on vacation and we'll get out for our anniversary and we'll go into the woods for three days and we will live off the land basically. We'll create our own shelter. We'll...

25:25
Maybe take olive oil and some seasoned salt and then just forage. So we'll find berries, we'll find fireweed or cattail roots or frog legs or squirrel, whatever. We live off the land and we'll do that for like three, four days. And out there, you know, in that situation, there are no air mattresses. So they do feel nice, but you know, we will pile up pine boughs and lay on those. And it's...

25:55
It takes the body a while to get used to that. I will agree with that. I enjoy hammock camping more than anything. Mm-hmm. Yep. There's lots of ways to do it. It just depends on what you're going to do. So my favorite thing about camping is that you learn how to make a fire. And you learn how to cook over that fire and how to make coffee over that fire. And you do learn all the different things around you that could be

26:25
really important if you needed to do it instead of just doing it for fun. Where we used to camp, it was this beautiful, beautiful campground in Minnesota. And there's a pond and along the pond, there's some quote unquote wild asparagus growing. And I discovered that one spring and I was just like, oh my God, asparagus growing in the middle of the woods. This is amazing.

26:52
and then looked up wild asparagus and it's not necessarily wild asparagus, it's probably seeds that some bird pulled out of somebody's garden and dropped in the woods. But just finding it there, I was just so excited. And there's wild plum trees here and you have to wait until the plums are actually really ripe for them to taste good and they're about the size of a golf ball, so they're really small. But they are really delicious and we can make jam out of them.

27:22
That's got to be good Jane. Yeah, so there's all kinds of things out there that people don't know until they learn it. Oh yes, for sure. And that's another side of what we do. My husband is, grew up in the woods. We both did. And you know, so one of the things he educates on our YouTube channel and on our website and in our membership area is

27:49
you know, learning how to do all those things, starting a fire in a varied, you know, varied ways. Because so wilderness survival is the thing that he dives into. And, you know, that was something that we had to teach our son right away was, you know, to have those kind of skills so that if he ever got displaced, because Idaho is vast, Alaska is even more vast.

28:15
you know, to have those skills of being able to create your own shelter, light a fire in whatever conditions you're in. Because, you know, when wood and your dry tinder is wet from rain or snow, it gets really difficult to light a fire, but having the skills and knowing what to look for. So it's really important. And that was also part of our draw. This is kind of funny. But the way we ended up online was because I had created a website.

28:46
And we started YouTube, but it was only meant for our families because my mom was scared to death that we were going to get eaten alive by wolves or mountain lions while we were living in the tent. So we just started every once in a while, I would post an update on the blog and we'd upload a video of our progress. And it just ended up that other people started to find it. And it just kind of morphed into what we're doing today.

29:15
the need to share with people because there are people on this planet that don't know where eggs come from, don't know where milk comes from. They just think it comes from the store. Our world is in a volatile place right now. Again, as we were talking in the beginning, perspective is everything. We have the opportunity to choose to be very fearful or we have the opportunity to choose to be educated.

29:44
And that's what we're trying to do is educate people on, you know, what you can do when the power's out, you know, and you have to exist and growing your own food, what you can forage from the wild. And I love that you said about the asparagus, you know, those are those moments that stick with you is when you learn that things are out there and that you can access them and

30:10
because everybody has stuff in their backyard. You know, my practice, the way I'm running my practice is to utilize what the world offers in a wholesome way right now to speedily get people healthy, but also to use the herbs and things God put on the planet for us to utilize and bringing that full circle that if you can't find this supplement, you might be able to find this in your backyard. So.

30:36
to be able to educate people to that level and teach people how to can their food, grow their own food, to smoke their meats or salt their meats to keep them preserved for longevity. You know, all of that, that's been our journey since 2010. And it's really rewarding to live that life for us, not only for ourselves and the rewarding aspect that we put

31:05
All three of us put meat on the table every year and that, but also that we are able to turn, you know, I feel our biggest blessing of being able to live this lifestyle into something that is helping others. So it's just really rewarding. I love my life. I'm glad. I'm really glad that you did all that because you have helped numerous, innumerable folks to learn about this.

31:33
I always say when people talk to me about homesteading or off-grid living or any of this stuff, that it's the difference between spending your money or your time. Because if you're going to be living off-grid or you're going to be homesteading, you're going to be spending a lot more of your time than you will be spending your money, hopefully. Right. Yes. That typically is the goal. And the thing that popped in my mind when you said that is, you know, so many people go to the gym.

32:03
my husband and I will go out to the woods and we'll harvest a tree and we'll fell it and we'll limit and we'll cut it and we'll bring it back and we'll chop it and we'll stack it. For most people, that sounds like grueling. That is our gym. That is our workout. I love that kind of sweat just in that it's a day's worth of work that you detoxed, you

32:31
would for the winner, you know? I love that part of our life. So to someone else, that would look like a chore. To us, it's just family time. And it's doing what we need to do to keep our world moving along. And it's just fun. You know, again, perspective. Some people may choose to view that as such a grueling thing. But if you view it as a fun thing,

33:01
It changes everything. And there is, there's a lot of time put into everything that we do, but it's, it's good time. Like I'm not in front of a machine just scrolling senselessly and walking away and have not accomplished anything. I'm, I'm making leaps and bounds forward on my homestead, getting a garden put in place or fruit trees planted or the firewood, you know, forage, whatever. Um, and

33:30
You know, I mentioned hunting. I absolutely love to hunt. It is, even if I don't get anything, being out there, you know, especially archery hunting, you sit there and you're out there really early, it's dark and you just watch the forest come to life. It's just amazing. And then the interactivity with the animals and being able to put such wholesome meat on our table, it's just, it's...

33:57
It's a really wonderful thing, but I just love sitting there and just taking it all in. And like you said, it's not for everybody, but the biggest takeaway I hope people get today is to embrace the life you want to live and embrace it with everything you've got because you'll be walking away saying you love your life just the same as I am, regardless of what it is you're doing.

34:22
Yeah, you've got to be true to yourself. If you're not true to yourself, you might as well hang it up because there's no point in living the life that you don't love. Right. My, speaking of hunting, I was raised by two parents that hunt. My mom and my dad hunted. And I am real leery about guns and there's a reason why when we were little, my parents would target practice in the gravel pit down the road from where we lived. And...

34:51
If you've ever shot a gun in a gravel pit, you know how loud that gets because it echoes back. And they kept us, they made sure we sat behind the old station wagon out of the way. So not only were we in a, basically a round or a half circle where the sound kicked back, we were behind a station wagon so that we couldn't see what they were doing. And I know why my parents did this. They wanted us to be safe. They didn't want us to get hurt. I get it.

35:21
But it scared me a lot. Yeah. And I was little, I was probably seven and my brother and sister were younger than me. So, and my dad also, my dad and mom kept their guns on a rifle rack in the hallway of our home and they kept the ammunition on the shelf on the same rifle rack and that's how it was done when I was young. And the rule was you don't touch the guns. You don't touch the rifle rack.

35:51
I will call it respect, but probably some fear too about guns. And it bothers me because I am actually a really good shot. I have a shot BB guns, I've shot a 22 and I've hit the target right away. So I have really good aim. I just don't like doing it. So if I had to hunt to feed myself, I could do it, but I really don't love it.

36:21
dear when she was about six months pregnant with my sister. And every time she tells that story, I just laugh. I'm like, your belly wasn't in the way. That's funny. And you know, that the important part there is that you know how to do it. If you have to, you know, it's, it's not for everybody, but I think that it's important for people to have the skills, you know, just like, because taking a life. Is.

36:51
is not an easy thing. I don't hunt because I enjoy doing that part of it. But I hunt because it provides for my family. But knowing how to do it, the same with trapping an animal, you know, people get really funny around the subject. But if we have an over abundance of animals, disease sets in.

37:19
So there's that circle of life and that then they're gonna die a grueling death in their lifetime. This is quick, it's fast, it's done and you've got meat for your table and we're keeping a handle on the disease that could be out there. But having that skill that if you're like, we always taught our son how to set snares

37:49
If he were displaced in the woods and had no means of getting, you know, back out, didn't have, let's say he didn't have a gun, he would be able to, you know, snare a squirrel or a rabbit and be able to eat. I think that people need to have these skills even if they don't use them all the time.

38:13
Muscle memory is there and it enables us to be able to protect ourselves when we have to. And I totally, you know, like I totally respect where you're at. We're all different. And I can see how that could have been scary because yes, it is loud. And it's always good to have earmuffs or earplugs because to value our ears and our hearing when you're shooting guns. But I think it's also good that you said, you know, you had a really good respect for

38:42
the firearm, you know, that's just that's what we really instilled in our son was, you know, the understanding that it is something deadly. But if you know how to use it and you respect it and you handle it with care, it's it's not something that's harmful. You have to know how to use it. You know, exactly. Yeah, very important. Yes. You know, they have and the same is true with, you know, lighting a fire.

39:11
You know, there's not too many people that go out and teach their children how to light a fire. However, at 13, it was important for him to know that because if he got displaced, he needed to know how to keep himself warm, you know. And so respect for everything, you know, our animals, the weapons, all of that is like really important. But the knowledge is priceless. And I always say that knowledge isn't power until you put it to action. Yeah, for sure.

39:39
I really wanted to be the one to teach my youngest how to start a campfire. And my husband was going to show him and I was like, can I please do it? I know how to do it. Can I show him? And he was like, yeah, why is it important? I'm like, because I'm the mom and moms don't usually teach their sons how to do this stuff. So I showed him how to do the might what I call the teepee style of starting a campfire.

40:05
To this day, he still can't do it that way. He has to do it the way dad does it. But at least I showed him it can be done that way. That's awesome. And I get it. And you know, it's fun being able to do those things with our sons. My son and I have an amazing relationship and I'm so grateful for that. And to be able to do things like that with our guys, it's just, I totally get you saying that. I just never wanted my boys. I have three.

40:35
I have a daughter who's oldest and three boys. I wanted my boys to understand that women are not, I don't know, fragile or incapable. I wanted them to see through me that women can do many, many things that men can do too. And I wanted my boys to respect women. I didn't want to see them as objects. Yes, I think that's great because there's two different sides to that coin today. There's another...

41:05
segment of, you know, I think, let me put it this way. I think God's design is perfect in that, you know, you have the man and the woman is to help me, but that doesn't mean that she's behind the man. That means she's walking beside the man. You know, we are all fully capable of doing things, you know, I like to, um,

41:29
I like to do firewood. I'm learning how to blacksmith with my husband. I do leather craft. I like to spackle. He and I were side by side building our home. I think that that's so important. The other thing that you said that is so important is that you're teaching your boys, your men, to respect women. When we have a mutual respect for one another, that goes so far.

41:59
talents, whether gender is involved or not. You know, there's some welder, women welders out there, there's blacksmiths, you know, we're all drawn to different things. But, and you hear a lot of like, there's a lot of cultures where the woman was not allowed to hunt, yet there were so many women that desired to do that. And like, I get the impression you're in a lot of ways like me that

42:28
I like to do household chores, but if I was stuck in the house all the time cleaning and cooking, I would go bonkers. I need to be outside with my hands dirty and doing things too. So there's a good mix. And I think it's important that, you know, we, one of the things I did with my kids was to let whatever their passions were, you know, I support them on that and, and, and help them to shine and whatever that looked like, you know, and, um,

42:58
So if my son wanted to knit a pair of socks, I would have taught him how to knit a pair of socks. I did teach him, but he didn't like it. Yeah, I taught the boys how to crochet a chain, you know, a link, not a link. I taught them how to do the chain stitch for crocheting because I was doing it and they were curious. None of them ever really went on to do anything else with it. And I'm like, huh, well, I guess that's off the list.

43:28
But I think that's great. I think that's so great the way that you did that. Yeah, but I did teach them all to cook, and they all cook, and they all cook really well. And lots of people think cooking is the woman's job. Well, no, it's everybody's job to feed themselves. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. My husband is an amazing outdoor cook. He used to do pack trips and hunting trips out into the back country in Wyoming.

43:58
So he makes a killer pie in a Dutch oven, and my son, like yours, he learned to cook, and off he went to college, and he's the one making cookies for his house, and cakes, and pies, and so, yeah, absolutely. We gotta learn how to eat, and it's an important skill.

44:22
I bet they love him. I bet they're like, what are you making for dessert today? Right? They did. Awesome. All right, Tammy, I don't want to take up any more of your time because I try to keep this to half an hour and we could probably talk for two hours, but we're not going to do that. Thank you so much for being, I don't know, amenable to speaking with me. I really appreciate it.

44:45
Oh, absolutely. This was awesome. I really appreciate the opportunity to sit here with you. This has been a wonderful conversation. And yes, I agree. We probably could do that. All right. You have a great day. Thank you again. Yes, you as well. Take care. Bye.