Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. I am the author of three books: “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135 ...
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Episode 785: Hunter Howell, Gay BYU-Idaho Student, Giving Hope/Serving Others
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*** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 *** My friend Hunter Howell (Bio Medical Science Major, New Mexico/Farmington RM, Suicide Survivor) joins us to share his story. Hunter talks about his pre-mission years navigating his same-sex attraction, completing a mission (including falling in love with a com…
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Episode 784: Heather Prinz, LDS Married Mother of 4, Sexual Assault Survivor
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My friend Heather Prinz (lives in Fayetteville Arkansas, Speech Pathologist, Sexual Assault Survivor: Dr. Broadbent OBGYN lawsuit) bravely joins us to share her story. Heather talks about her sexual assault under the guise of medical care, discovering she was one of hundreds of other victims, and her journey through trauma and healing. Heather talk…
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Episode 783: David Smurthwaite, Ministering to Latter-day Saints in Transgender/Non-Binary Spaces
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My friend David Smurthwaite (married father of 4, gender expansive, active Latter-day Saints) joins us to share ideas on ministering to anyone struggling with the updated Church transgender policies. David starts with a brief recap of his own story (including talking to his Bishop at age 11 and opening up to his wife Marisa about 8 years ago). Davi…
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Episode 782: Dr Kristine Coons, Transgender Latter-Day Saint, Understand the Science
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My friend Dr. Kristine Coons (active Latter-day Saint, Internal Medicine Physician, came out to her wife in 2014, was on episode 699) joins us to share her journey/insights. Kristine brings a unique and needed perspective with her medical expertise in understanding gender dysphoria and the nuance of defining gender/biological sex—along with her own…
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Episode 781: Exponent II Celebrates 50 Years with Katie Rich and Heather Sundahl
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Guest Host: Tonya MillerExponent II has played an essential role in creating a shared, safe space for women and gender minorities connected to the Church to explore and express the impacts of "isms" in Church culture. It began in the Boston area as a quarterly newspaper in 1974 by friends who had met and worked on projects together in the Relief So…
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Episode 780: Tegan Zelano Blanchard (or “Z”), Recent RM, Bisexual member, Giving Hope to Others
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**This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988** My friend Z Blanchard, (lived in Utah, Costa Rica, San Diego and Ecuador; Argentina RM; attending UVU in Utah; age 21) joins us to share his story as a bisexual member of the Church of Jesus Christ out of his heartfelt desire to give hope to others. Z (youngest of …
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Episode 779: Tonya Baker Miller, LCSW, Active LDS, Supporting Transgender Members and Their Families
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This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of JeNeal Nichol Miller, who passed away on Pioneer Day this year. She inspired everyone she knew to be nonjudgmental and Christlike. She was a true ally and is deeply missed. **This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988** My friend Tonya Baker Miller (married moth…
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Episode 778: Caysen Crum, Gay Latter-day Saint, Age 24, Self-Love/Acceptance
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**This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988** My friend Caysen Crum (New Hampshire RM, Southern Utah University Grad, HXP Guide, Further Physician, Minersville Utah) joins us to share his story of doing everything he could to be “Mr. perfect and straight” (including serving a perfectly obedient mission, dating…
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Episode 777: Ben Bernards, LDS Father of Two Transgender Daughters
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My friend Ben Bernards (lives in Sacramento, RM, current Bishopric member, author, podcaster, EFY speaker, early 40s) joins us to share their family story. This story started with three children — a daughter and then two sons — but now continues with 3 daughters, as both of their sons are transgender. Ben talks about how he and his wife Megan are n…
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Episode 776: Michelle and Steve Shaw – Improving Church Culture for Members with Disabilities
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Michelle and Steve Shaw are the parents of four children, three of whom have been diagnosed with neurological disabilities, ranging from ADHD to anomalies in the brain. They are active members of the Church and live in the Seattle area; Michelle serves in her Stake Primary Presidency and Steve serves on the Stake High Council. Michelle is also a sp…
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Episode 775: Rylee, Transgender Latter-day Saint, Brave Story
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My friend Rylee (he/they) joins us to share their story. Rylee (married father of 7, mid-40’s. RM, believing/active LDS, IT professional) talks about their feelings of gender dysphoria from their earliest memories. Rylee (who is doing the podcast to give others hope walking this road) talks about their journey of self-discovery, navigating faith an…
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Episode 774: John Crane, Late 70s, RM, Believes in Gospel, Same-Sex Marriage
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My friend John Crane (lives in Austin TX, grew up in Oregon/Washington, Sweden RM 1966-68, married a woman, has 4 kids and many grandkids, divorced, been with husband Thom for over 35 years, no longer LDS), joins us to share his story being gay and a deep believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. John starts with his growing up years and finding his …
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Episode 773: Guillermo Lemus, Faith Crisis/Expansion, Staying LDS
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My friend Guillermo Lemus (age 30, BYU grad student, BYU-Idaho grad, married, RM) joins us to share his multi-year journey to process the complicated aspects of our Church and find a way to remain a member of the Church. In sharing his story, Guillermo normalizes a faith crisis/expansion (including all the pain one feels on this road) and what he (…
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Episode 772: Bryce Cook, LDS Father of Two Gay Sons, Longtime Ally
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My friend and mentor Bryce Cook (married, father of 6 children/7 grandchildren) joins us to talk about how he and his wife Sara navigated the road of having two gay sons (which started in 2003 when their son Trevor came out as gay). Bryce talks about how his worldview of gay people dramatically changed upon learning his good/talented/spiritual son …
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Episode 771: Seth Price, Recent RM, Gay Latter-day Saint
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** Trigger Warning. This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call, test, chat 988 ** My friend Seth Price (Canadian, Age 20, Service Missionary) joins us to bravely share his story. Seth talks about dealing with and then accepting being called on a service mission (finished July 2024) when he always wanted to serve a proselytin…
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Episode 770: Lori LeVar Pierce, President Exponent II, LGBTQ Ally, Feminist, Active LDS
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My friend Lori LeVar Pierce (grew up in the South, BA and MBA from BYU, corporate executive, married mother of three, teacher, lives in Columbus, Mississippi) joins us to introduce listeners to Exponent II—which is celebrating its 50th anniversary. Lori talks about the purpose of Exponent II (including a quarterly magazine, a blog, annual retreat) …
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Episode 769: Jessie Salter and Jett Atwood, Same-Sex Marriage, Attending Church
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My friends Jessica Salter and Jett Atwood (gay Latter-day Saint women in a same-sex marriage, attend and believe in Church) join us to share their stories. Jett & Jessie (who were married on June 15, 2024) talk about their supportive ward in Utah County (including their bishopric attending their reception) and being so fortunate to have many in the…
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Episode 768: Sarah and Jeff Case, Gather Conference, Gather For Youth
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My friends Sarah and Jeff Case (mixed-orientation marriage, active LDS, two queer kids) join us to update listeners on their story, share principles to keep families together, and the new Gather for Youth (ages 14-18) at the Gather Conference (Sept 13-14th, 2024). Sarah (middle school teacher, straight) and Jeff (clinical psychologist, gay) talk ab…
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Episode 767: Brenden Krogh, Gay Latter-day Saint, Christ’s Ability to Bring Hope
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My friend Brenden Krogh (age 25, grew up in Grantsville/Mona Utah, Lives in St George, Active LDS, RM) joins us to share his story. Brenden talks about his journey to understand and accept being gay and the role of his Heavenly Parents and the Savior in this process—including personal revelation that he is created as intended and he should feel no …
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Episode 766: Sarah and Josh Sabey - @forlittlesaints, New Book: Book of Mormon Storybook
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This episode is guest-hosted by Tonya Miller. Tonya interviews Sarah and Josh Sabey, who run For Little Saints (@forlittlesaints). Sarah and Josh share the experiences they've had in creating their newest publication, "The Book of Mormon Storybook." Sarah and Josh talk about wishing that they had a way to share the scriptures with their children th…
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Episode 765: Lilly MacKenzie, Transgender Latter-day Saint, BYU Student
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My friend Lilly MacKenzie (3rd year BYU student) joins us to share her story. Lilly talks about her journey (starting in her early years) realizing she was different and gradually developing the vocabulary, understanding, and person insights to realize she is transgender. Lilly talks about how she feels so much better being her authentic self. Lill…
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Episode 764: Austin Peterson, Gay Latter-day Saint, Gather Conference, Gather For Youth
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My friend Austin Peterson (Ghana RM, BYU Grad, FSY Leader, Gather Event Coordinator) joins us to share his story. Austin starts with his journey to accept being gay and gradually coming out (including as a Bishopric member during his testimony). Austin talks about the good experiences and the painful experiences being open in his Latter-day Saint c…
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Episode 763: Spencer Smith, Gay Latter-day Saint
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My friend Spencer Smith (age 31, ER attending pharmacist, BYU grad, active LDS) join us to share his story. Spencer (oldest of five; grew up in Sacramento) talks his journey to accept his sexual orientation and coming out to others. Spencer talks about not being able to make dating work with women and managing the sometimes painful cultural expecta…
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Episode 762: Todd (gay) and Tanya (straight) Hughes, Recently Divorced, Staying Close
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My friends Todd and Tanya Hughes (live in Ventura County CA, married for 29 years, recently divorced, still best friends) join us to share their story. Todd (who recently turned 50) shares his background growing up gay in the church, and all the shame and self-hate that came with that. Todd and Tanya met on their missions and ended up getting marri…
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Episode 761: Dr. Jeremy Kerrigan, Age 40, Gay Latter-day Saint, Recently Out
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**This podcast mentions suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988** My friend Jeremy Kerrigan (LDS convert, married father of 5, Arizona native, Chiropractor, photographer) joins us to share his story. Jeremy talks about being aware of this same-sex attraction most of his life but not fully addressing it until he came out to his wife …
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Episode 760: Glen “Mateo” Bass; Bisexual Latter-day Saint, Rebaptized 2024, Sharing Hope
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**This podcast mentions suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988** My friend Glen Bass (father of two, lives in Utah County, left church 2018, rebaptized 2024, divorced after 15 years of marriage) joins us to share his story. Glen talks about his early years figuring out he is not 100% heterosexual. Glen talks about his mission and b…
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Episode 759: Dr. Kerry Spencer Pray, New Book: “The Book of Queer Mormon Joy”
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My friend Dr. Kerry Spencer Pray (lives in Maryland, Associate Professor at Sevenson University, married to her wife Heather, mother of two, taught at BYU for 15 years, no longer practicing Mormon) joins us to share her story. Dr. Pray talks about her prior marriage to her former husband (they both are gay), why that marriage ended (they are on goo…
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Episode 758: Jaci Wightman - Wellness Coach, Healing From Compulsive Eating and Sugar Addiction
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This episode is guest-hosted by Tonya Miller. Tonya interviews Jaci Wightman, who shares her compelling story of recovery from dependence on food, and on sugar in particular. Jaci describes the ways that she felt prepared and guided in her journey, which began with her learning that sugar addiction is very real. Jaci talks about being resistant to …
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Episode 757: Haymitch St. Stephen, New Book about Forgiveness (Ourselves and Others)
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My friend Haymitch St. Stephen (BYU degree, Stanford graduate degree, mid 30s, SLC native, Latter-day Saint) joins us to talk about his new book called “Friend of the Devil: A Story of Mental Health, Mistakes, and Self-Forgiveness”. This book is the story of Haymitch’s lifelong friend Cameron White, who—at age 17 in 2007—was the drunken driver of a…
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Episode 756: Hannah Russell, Asexual Latter-day Saint
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My friend Hannah Russell (married mother of three, PhD, lives in Cincinnati, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to share her story of being asexual out of a desire to help others not feel alone. Hannah starts realizing she is different and falsely concluding “I am not a divine child of Heavenly Parents” because I don’t have any sexual interest. Hann…
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Episode 755: Kate Kendrick and her non-binary child Morgan
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My friends Kate Kendrick (she/her) and her non-binary child Morgan (they/them) join us to share their story. Kate, who is no longer active LDS, joins us to talk about her journey to become an LGBTQ ally and then fully love and accept her sixteen-year-old non-binary/pansexual child who goes by the pseudonym "Morgan." (who is age 16). It is a beautif…
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Episode 754: David Ostler “Healing our Divides: Answering the Savior’s Call to be Peacemakers.”
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My good brother David (author of “Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question”) joins us to talk about his new book which gives readers a gospel-based framework and tools to navigate the increasingly polarized and contentious landscape of modern society. In the podcast, David talks about why he wrote the book, who is the audience, and how he hopes i…
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Episode 753: Arthur Wiseman, Recently Returned Gay LDS Missionary
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My friend Arthur Wiseman (who returned from his successful mission in Gilbert Arizona in Dec of 2023, plans to become a therapist, and returned to live in Arizona) shares his mission experience. Arthur (who knew he was gay since age 6 and planned to tell no one) shares what it was like starting his mission and feeling spiritual promptings (many tim…
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Episode 752: Kyle Jones, M.D., Author
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** This podcast mentions suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988**Guest host Tonya Miller interviews Kyle Jones, M.D., who talks about his most recent book, “When All Hope Seems Lost: A Gospel Perspective on Mental Illness in Youth,” which will be released later this month. Kyle is a Family Practice physician who works primarily wit…
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Episode 751: Jashon Fabia, Author: “Swirling in the Eddy: LDS, Filipino, & Gay”
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My friend Jashon Ray Fabia (Age 33, single, LDS, RM, BYU-H grad in Psychology and Music, finishing Master's in Music Therapy) bravely shares his story as a queer Filipino Latter-day Saint (our first guest from the Philippines) and his new book (see show notes). Jashon shares the shame he felt which continued until he came out to himself in his mid-…
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Episode 750: Erik Thompson, Gay Latter-day Saint, Overcoming Addiction, Finding Hope in Christ
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**This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988** My friend Erik Thompson (Age 40, single, active LDS, RM) bravely shares his story with a heart full of desire to give others hope. Erik vulnerable and bravely talks about: Being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 13.Spiritual OCD (Scrupulosity).Porn and masturbatio…
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Episode 749: Cameo & Cooper Johnson, LDS Parents of a Queer Daughter
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My friends Cameo and Cooper Johnson (LDS parents of 4 children, live in Flagstaff AZ, Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioners) join us to share their story from the perspective of both LDS parents of a queer daughter (RM, engaged to another RM woman) and their professional work specializing in supporting LDS LGBTQ individuals and families. In…
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Episode 748: Nate Miller, Gay, Age 26
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My friend Nate Miller (grew up in Davis County, lives in Salt Lake County, Philippines RM, U of U graduation, no longer attending church) joins us to share his story. Nate starts with reading a powerful journal entry/letter during his mission that shares his journey (since age 6) of navigating being different and eventually realizing he is gay. Nat…
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Episode 747: James Smart, Gay Latter-day Saint, Recent RM, BYU Student
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My friend James Smart (RM, age 20, from Rexburg Idaho, Santa Rosa CA missionary, at BYU) joins us to bravely share his story. James starts with reading his powerful and well-written coming out post sharing his story growing up knowing he was different, dealing with shame and associated coping mechanisms, deciding to serve a mission, and finding gre…
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Episode 746: Cameron Staley, Ph.D. – New Book “Confessions of an LDS Sex Researcher.”
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This episode is guest-hosted by my friend, Tonya Miller. Tonya was on episode 501 and wrote the third chapter in my most recent book, called “Ministering To Those With Church-Generated Pain or Trauma.” Tonya interviews Dr. Cameron Staley, Ph.D., who talks about his most recent book: “Confessions of an LDS Sex Researcher.” Cameron is a clinical psyc…
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Episode 745: Jacob Guy, Gay Latter-day Saint, New Book: “The Scorpion Unit”
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**Warning: This podcast talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988** My friend Jacob Guy (RM, age 23, Senior at Weber State, shared his story on Episode 613) joins us to talk about his new book “The Scorpion Unit” a story that Jacob hopes will help people considering suicide. In the podcast, Jacob talks about why he wrote t…
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Episode 744: Stacie Proctor, Survivor of Mental Health-Related Trauma.
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This episode is guest-hosted by my friend, Tonya Miller. Tonya was on episode 501 and wrote the third chapter in my most recent book, called “Ministering To Those With Church-Generated Pain or Trauma.” Tonya interviews Stacie Proctor, who joins us to talk about her life as a mom, wife, business executive, and active member of the Church, who also l…
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Episode 743: Dale Schafer, Convert, RM, Same-Sex Marriage, Deep Testimony of the Church/God
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My friend Dale Schafer (California Convert, Adelaide Australia ’79-81 RM, Twice Excommunicated, Lives with his husband in Hudson Valley, NY) joins us to share his story his life as a gay Latter-day Saint. Dale starts with his childhood of feeling like an outcast/not belonging because of his sexual attraction to men. Dale talks about his conversatio…
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Episode 742: Scott Grover, Gay British Latter-day Saint, Left Church for 18 Years, Returned
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My friend Scott Gover (late 40’s, lives north of London, left church in his 20’s, returned 18 years later, active for last 11 years) joins us to share his story. Scott starts with his growing up years having a deep testimony of the Church and also realizing his was gay. After many unanswered prayers to change his sexual orientation, Scott concluded…
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Episode 741: John Gustav-Wrathall, Same-Sex Marriage, Believes In and Attends Church
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This episode is guest-hosted by my friend Steven Kapp Perry from the “In Good Faith” podcast. He interviews John Gustav-Wrathall (a dear friend and mentor) who appeared in an early episode—Episode 49—which we’ll link to below. John shares some of his earliest spiritual experiences, which gave him a solid faith in God, and then describes his journey…
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Episode 740: Jacob Troxel, Recently Retuned Gay Missionary
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My friend Jacob Troxel (who recorded this podcast three weeks after his successful mission in Canada Edmonton) joins us to bravely share his experiences as a gay Latter-day Saint and one of the first openly gay missionaries in the Church (which is noted on his Facebook profile). Jacob (who grew up in Camarillo) talks about realizing he might be dif…
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Episode 739: Lindsey Sais, Same-Sex Marriage, Believe in Savior/Church, Overcoming Addition
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My friend Lindsey Sais joins us to share her powerful story. Lindsey (early 40s, married for 5 years to her wife Connie, lives in Raleigh NC) joins us to bravely share her story of being divorced at age 23, coming out as gay that same year, working through addiction, being an ex-felon, and suicidal ideation. Lindsey talks about how addiction is not…
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Episode 738: Josh and Jen Rollins, LDS Parents of 3 LGBTQ children
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My friends Josh and Jen Rollins (married for 26 years, parents of 5, live in Riverton Utah, active LDS) share their story of their middle child Aiden coming out as gay, then their oldest children Jace coming out as gay and later transgender, and then their second-oldest Chelsea coming out as bisexual. Josh (who was serving as Bishop during much of …
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Episode 737: Lily Prisbrey, Powerful Missionary Homecoming Talk
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My friend Lily Prisbrey—who recently returned from both a proselyting mission (Philippines) and a service mission (Utah). She joins us to give her farewell talk. In this talk, Lily bravely talks about:Her journey with scrupulosity and faith-related guilt.Finding a loving, accepting, and NOT “ever-disappointed” God.Finding God in the Filipino people…
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Episode 736: Zak Hazlett, The Outdoor Therapist
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My friend Zak Hazlett (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from BYU) joins us from his home in Moab, Utah to talk about his life mission to bring more kindness, love, understanding into our community. Zak (who grew up running rivers in Southern Utah) talks about merging this love of the outdoors and his desire to help others into a career…
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