Beste Cynic Empowerment podcaster (2024)

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Dead Jokes 24 - We're in Hell... LITERALLY! 31:31

3y ago31:31

31:31

We're in hell court and we might just get burned. These imps do not play nice with strangers. Sassy Pants the Incubus is a punk. If we're lucky we might just get out alive.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 23 - Tommy the Guardian Angel 29:42

3y ago29:42

29:42

Welcome to the cool side of the afterlife folks. We need help taking down the infernal litigator! This time we look to the heavens for holy council.sound fx creds:https://freesound.org/people/Cunningar0807/sounds/436128/https://freesound.org/people/Teo4/sounds/159641/Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 22 - Winnie Vinnie Always Wins the Case 35:24

3y ago35:24

35:24

When you have a case that's needin solved. Who yah gonna call? Winnie Vinnie Always Wins the Case Demon Marzipan GuyAv Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 21 - Infernal Litigation 33:56

3y ago33:56

33:56

What do you do when you have been possessed by an evil spirit broker and you would rather not throw up gross, fake looking pea soup to exorcise it? Call Clayborn, here for all your lucifarian litgurgical needs.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 20 - Simone says "Chop off a Limb!" 37:35

3y ago37:35

37:35

What lengths would you go to in order to extract 17 Mormon souls out of your body?Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 19 - Astral Mormons 34:26

3y ago34:26

34:26

Get our own planets!? Sign me up! This time we get in touch with the largest personality yet. Meet us in the next realm bretheren.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 18 - Darth Johan 38:06

3y ago38:06

38:06

Darth Johan has soul and we need it. How much are we willing to sacrifice and at what cost? Spider Man undies...This is a good halloween podcast, improv podcast and funny podcast. Listen to it mortals.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 17 - Chef Boy Un D 32:29

3y ago32:29

32:29

The archivist leads the way to secrets of the Himalayan pink salts! Boy Un Dee can hide no longer.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 16 - John "C." Rockefeller 33:04

3y ago33:04

33:04

Could it be?! In the very likeness of J.D. Rockefeller? He's here and he's spillin the bagels. Being wealthy ain't always what you would expect, especially when you have you're public images to consider.Credited sound FX:https://freesound.org/people/humanoide9000/sounds/569047/https://freesound.org/people/Dneproman/sounds/377220/…

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Dead Jokes 15 - Orville Redenbacher's Soul Seed 28:13

3y ago28:13

28:13

weird shit happens when you sacrifice stuff to satanAv Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 13 - Sigmund Freud's Associate 34:16

3+ y ago34:16

34:16

Box is floatin' y'all. What do we do? What do we doo!? I bet Judy knows.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 14 - James Audubon's Birdman 27:59

3+ y ago27:59

27:59

The world renown ornithologist John James Audubon had few secrets tucked deep inside the recesses of our spirit box. What's the smoke smell like to you?Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 12 - John Locke's Chandler 39:03

3+ y ago39:03

39:03

With the neighbor's dog successfully rescued from the recluse diversion we move to the basement!Av Cynic Empowerment

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142 - The Gates of Hell 39:16

3+ y ago39:16

39:16

Welcome back to the depths of despair folks, we'll be your guide on the river Styx today! On our tour we'll be discussing a variety of rant filled subjects carefully curated for your dismal listening pleasures.ImageCreator: Lee Credit: MCTAv Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 11 - Vlad's Pole Greaser 20:56

3+ y ago20:56

20:56

Gold toothpicks aren't worth your loyalty! Slip and slide through this greasy episode y'all.sound credits:https://freesound.org/people/Dodgy%20C/sounds/179357/https://freesound.org/people/sofiakilroy/sounds/508072/193349__klankbeeld__horror-ambience-53-sabt-mat-capella-ducisAv Cynic Empowerment

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141 - Race Theory Critical Edition 32:37

3+ y ago32:37

32:37

critical race theory, not so badAv Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 10 - Alfred Hitchcock's Billy 22:14

3+ y ago22:14

22:14

Ever had your buddy give away your possessed spirit box to the spiders? Timmy and Jimmy chat with the clairvoyant and learn of their fated demise.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 9 - Shakespeare's Plant 25:30

3+ y ago25:30

25:30

The last holdout against the undead hordes still stands. Long live the Globe!Credits to:193349__klankbeeld__horror-ambience-53-sabt-mat-capella-ducishttps://freesound.org/people/rap2h/sounds/151312/Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 8 - Disney's Package 31:47

3+ y ago31:47

31:47

Walt Disney's health pack?! whaaaaaaaaaatAv Cynic Empowerment

1
140 - Hands Off MY IP! 37:36

3+ y ago37:36

37:36

Hey there sad folks! Join your hosts Jimmy and Timmy as we explore the Colombian protests and vaccine distribution among intellectual property law!Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 7 - Tesla's Fuzz 35:47

3+ y ago35:47

35:47

credited sounds:https://freesound.org/people/Cem_Sungur/sounds/564254/193349__klankbeeld__horror-ambience-53-sabt-mat-capella-ducishttps://freesound.org/people/rap2h/sounds/151312/Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 6 - Martin Luther's Big Hammer 24:30

3+ y ago24:30

24:30

Martin's Big Hammer is here to give us the low down on his relationship with Martin Luther himself!Intro Music: 18 - theremin.wav by rap2h at Freesound.orgmusic box by gumballworld:https://freesound.org/people/gumballworld/sounds/386927/horror ambience 53 sabt mat capella ducis.wav by klankbeeldhttps://freesound.org/people/klankbeeld/sounds/193349/…

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139 - Covid Rides Again 37:40

3+ y ago37:40

37:40

Imagine a planet with a deadly communicable disease. Now imagine this same planet with a vaccine to prevent the spread of this disease. In this instance would it make sense to:A) Share the vaccine patent with everyone orB) Restrict the distribution of the patent, preventing poorer countries from having access to itUnfortunately we live on planet B.…

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Dead Jokes 5 - Blackbeard's McBitey 25:45

3+ y ago25:45

25:45

Yaaargh Matey's! Do yar' wann' be enertained?! Dan look no further as we converse with the likes of which yee never heard! Yargh!Sounds:https://freesound.org/people/Benboncan/sounds/77692/https://freesound.org/people/Lydmakeren/sounds/510912/https://freesound.org/people/Timbre/sounds/385882/Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 4 - Johnny Appleseed's Tipples 24:17

3+ y ago24:17

24:17

Meet Tipples! The long forgotten milk man of Johnny Appleseed and remember it's nut juice NOT nut milk...Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 3 - Beethoven's Puppen 31:28

3+ y ago31:28

31:28

We crack the box this week with Beethoven's Puppen.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Cynic Empowerment Update - Amazon Labor 43:13

3+ y ago43:13

43:13

this just in! We need to take a moment to have a little chat about Amazon labor movements (at x1.2 speed! We care about your precious time). Tune in for more updates.Av Cynic Empowerment

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138 - Ghost Guns Are Spoopy 1:04:40

3+ y ago1:04:40

1:04:40

On this episode we discuss the oh so tantalizing 3 executive orders drafted by the Biden administration on gun reform and all the interesting juicy bits that they entail. Not only this, but we break the most important rule on the internet, Godwin's Law.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 2 - Napoleon's Wood 28:46

3+ y ago28:46

28:46

Welcome to Dead Jokes! This week we crack the box again with Napoleon's Wood. May your pillows stay fluffed!Intro Music: 18 - theremin.wav by rap2h at Freesound.orgAv Cynic Empowerment

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Dead Jokes 1 - Da Vinci's Sneakers 26:06

3+ y ago26:06

26:06

Coming to you from the Cynic Empowerment Network! Your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy have their hands on a super spooky spirit box. This week we chat with Da Vinci's Sneakers!Intro Music: 18 - theremin.wav by rap2h at Freesound.orgAv Cynic Empowerment

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137 - Meals Off A Dinghy 36:22

3+ y ago36:22

36:22

Welcome one and all to Meals-Off-A-Dinghy, the only Dinghy dining experience this side of the Mississippi Delta. Enjoy deliciousness like you never have before as your are entertained by our beloved mascot Big Floppy Dinghy!Av Cynic Empowerment

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136 - No Knock Mormons 1:13:41

3+ y ago1:13:41

1:13:41

Mormon cops dragging you away to a lifetime of forced labor in the US penal system? Well, we have a episode for you! Join your favorite sad sacks, Timmy and Jimmy as we explore the FBIs fetish of Mormons, killer collars, and doms with 6 foot long whips!Av Cynic Empowerment

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135 - Snow Cone Spy Jet 57:18

3+ y ago57:18

57:18

Is your super syrupy snow cone melting over your sweat pants? Join your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as cup our hands in futility to keep you unstickied. Super spensive spy planes, deadly bolo tie boys, and billionaire bumper crops in this one y'all.Av Cynic Empowerment

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134 - Frozen Pizza Fiesta! 38:11

3+ y ago38:11

38:11

Time to chill out with your favorite sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy as we waltz through the winter wonderland of frozen food insecurity. In this episode we check out these despicable defenders of dumpsters while their fellow humans go hungry. Stay safe on those frosty streets y'all!Av Cynic Empowerment

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133 - Tennessee Tom 1:06:52

3+ y ago1:06:52

1:06:52

Howdy folks! Welcome to a finger lickin' episode smothered in sad, just like mama used to make. Jimmy and Timmy are here to wrangle you up some cynical stories from the latest news, so hold on to yer horses!Av Cynic Empowerment

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132 - Water, Wind, and the FBI 1:21:59

3+ y ago1:21:59

1:21:59

Happy black history month fellow sad sacks! Join your hosts Jimmy and Timmy as we stroll through government attacks on the black panthers and the incredible vagueness of thiamine deficiency!Av Cynic Empowerment

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Episode 131 - Give Me GAME STONKS or Give Me Death 1:39:24

4y ago1:39:24

1:39:24

Learn the harrowing tale of how a group of rapscallions on the open online trader floor stuck it to the hedge funds to steal dar booty, yargh!Av Cynic Empowerment

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Episode 130 - From Humblest Beginnings 1:47:09

4y ago1:47:09

1:47:09

It's art folks! Join your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as we reveal the annoying origin story of cynic empowerment and avoid the Biden boredom that set in way too soon.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Episode 129 - You Say ISIS I Say ISIL 1:34:32

4y ago1:34:32

1:34:32

Elon Musk giving away 5 million dollars is equivalent to him giving away .000023% of his wealth of 209 billion dollars. He could give away 5 million dollars every day for the next 114 years and still have over 2 million dollars in the bank. It would cost approximately 20 billion to end homelessness in America, which Musk could end 10 times over and…

1
Episode 128 - Diller Dough Boys 49:02

4y ago49:02

49:02

Welcome to cynic empowerment! New year, same old cynical sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy diller their way through cop corruption, intel incompetence, and couth children's cartoons!Av Cynic Empowerment

1
Episode 127 - Remember The Hercules Sex Doll Episode? 1:04:40

4y ago1:04:40

1:04:40

Remember the Hercules episode where an artisan was creating living clay statue women that would love you no matter what? Was this Disney predicting a future of lonely socially inept men finding love in inanimate objects? Probably not, but it is fascinating to see human beings finding new and inventive ways to complete their Maslow's hierarchy of ne…

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Episode 126 - Fascist Santa Cult 1:22:14

4y ago1:22:14

1:22:14

Happy holidays you grinchy goons! Join you favorite sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy as we dig into the dastardly schemes of state abduction, Santa's string of breaking and entering, and how you can benefit from private fascist sponsorship in your quest to threaten minorities and uncover inconsequential schemes of faux voter fraud!…

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Episode 125 - Namibian Adolf Hitler 1:48:21

4y ago1:48:21

1:48:21

In lighter news someone named Adolf Hitler won an election in Namibia. In more unfortunate news the worst of the pandemic and economic collapse is about to rock the United States to its core. Look to your friends, family and neighbors, and do what you can to help one another because the government isn't going to save us.…

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Episode 124 - 250 Million Strong 1:25:09

4y ago1:25:09

1:25:09

India broke a record y'all! Celebrate with your favorite sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy as we slink through gay orgies looking for that anti-gay guy and witness overt corporate evil in the highest of court in the land. Keep your head up folks, we're almost there.Av Cynic Empowerment

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Episode 123 - Right Now Is Bad, Actually 1:12:11

4y ago1:12:11

1:12:11

Who knew that in the year 2020 Amazon would be employing the Pinkerton's on warehouses workers in Europe. Furthermore, who knew the Pinkerton's would be incorporated in the country of Sweden, guess the Nordic Model isn't what its all cracked up to be after all. Needless to say these are bad things, and people usually say that it is better to not dw…

1
Episode 122 - The Market Won't Save Us 1:23:01

4y ago1:23:01

1:23:01

The market will never save us from climate change, because the market as it currently operates only exists to generate profits, no more no less. Everything we as consumers buy exists solely to make profits. The destruction of the environment will only stop when it is no longer financially advantageous to destroy the environment.--------------------…

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Episode 121 - Roided Up Kid Tossin' 1:16:08

4y ago1:16:08

1:16:08

Tossin' kiddos and flippin' them rocks with your super silly sad sacks Jimmy and Timmy! In this sleuthful rendition we get the dirt on illicit police activity, taste the blandest of Biden brand beer, and go for the world record kid toss with the help from our boys at Kentucky State Police!Av Cynic Empowerment

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Episode 120 - Wait... GANDHI IS A POS TOO?!!!! nooooo 1:15:28

4y ago1:15:28

1:15:28

Gandhi like every human that's ever existed is a mixed bag. He wasn't the epitome of evil, but he wasn't perfect either, In the struggle for an independent India he played a crucial role. but his idea of what an independent India would look like, however is downright garbage. If you enjoy having the image of people you admire completely destroyed t…

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Episode 119 - Colonialism Never Ended 1:36:06

4y ago1:36:06

1:36:06

Purdue Pharma went under, but don't you worry, the Sackler family safely sequestered their money by divesting it from Purdue Pharma and reinvesting it into other companies, so they won't lose much if any money at all. In other news pollution the world over is killing babies, which isn't new news, but we have the numbers now so that's fun. Oh, and c…

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Episode 118 - #PropinaNaBunda - A Bribe Up The Bum 1:14:33

4y ago1:14:33

1:14:33

Knowledge bombs getting dropped by your favorite two dopey sad sacks Timmy and Jimmy. Be amazed at how we continually find bad things to say about Musk. Be awed at how we find new ways to poop all over organized religion. Be amused at our childish use of potty humor and MUCH MORE!Av Cynic Empowerment

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