The Couples Healing podcast is a resource to help husbands in their porn addiction recovery and to help couples restore the trust and connection again in their marriage. The effects of porn addiction or sex addiction can be devastating individually and in the relationship, but with the right approach, men can learn how to stop watching porn, heal the pain it causes his wife, and rebuild trust again in the marriage. Each episode is designed to give you new insights, tools, and strategies to h ...
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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Coaches
*****Top 5% Global Podcast***** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and ...
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Need help with sexual addiction, pornography, or sexual purity issues? You are not alone. We are walking the road of recovery, and this podcast is a casual approach to finding help, hope, and healing.
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150: He’s a Source of Pain AND a Source of Comfort
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After pornography use, a husband becomes a source of pain as well as a source of comfort for his wife. this can be such a confusing place for both people to be. Sometimes she doesn't want to be around him at all, but other times she needs him close and for him to provide reassurance. As a man, oftentimes he doesn't know what to say or how to help s…
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59 | Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
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The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward? Today we are going to answer …
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Season-8-Episode-9_-Chrisdom.mp3 Today in Season 8 Episode 9, Chris is flying solo again. Today, he introduces something he’ll be sprinkling in future episodes. Something he calls Chrisdom. Have you ever looked at someone with multiple years of sobriety and thought, “How the heck did they do that?!”…
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149: A New Twist On Identify and Resolving Underlying Issues That Lead to Pornography Use
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Understanding and resolving the underlying issues that lead pornography use is essential. Without addressing the root cause, you're bound to continue to struggle with triggers and temptations. Announcement!!! Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it So, I decided to do a special trust building wo…
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58 | Purpose from Pain. Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
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Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?” When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage…
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148: 5 Signs That the Trust in Your Marriage is Seriously Damaged
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Announcement!!! Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it So, I decided to do a special trust building workshop, where for 90 minutes I’ll be doing a deep dive and sharing with you specific steps you can take, tools you can implement, and practical ways that you can rebuild trust in your relations…
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57 | Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It
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What is isolation, and where does it truly begin? Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes…
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147: Tools to Help Your Relationship Progress If She Brings Up Her Pain
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Announcement!!! Trust is a critical part of rebuilding your relationship after pornography use has damaged it. So, I decided to do a special trust building workshop, where for 90 minutes I’ll be doing a deep dive and sharing with you specific steps you can take, tools you can implement, and practical ways that you can rebuild trust in your relation…
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56 | Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today
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As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me. But I didn’t always understa…
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146: Success Story: Braden Shares the 5 Specific Things That Changed His Life and Helped Him Quit Pornography
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Have you ever felt so hopeless and discouraged as you've tried to quit pornography that you thought that there's no way out? Despite how hard you've tried, you just haven't been able to get this problem out of your life. This is how Braden felt before we started to work together. He tried everything he possibly could, but it still didn't work. Afte…
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55 | Our Podcast is One Year Old!!! Marriages Redeemed, Hearts Renewed
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Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life? Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken…
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145: When It’s Hard to Work On Your Marriage and Forgiveness Seems Impossible to Achieve
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Pornography use damages a relationship in deep and significant ways. Trust is broken and her wall goes up. The idea of forgiveness can feel impossible to offer, and a husband feels despair wondering if they’ll ever move on from the past and find closure. This episode I share with you how you can navigate this painful situation in a way that will fe…
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54 | Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
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Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity. Today, we are going to outline some percei…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Season-8-Episode-8_-Interview-with-Steve-Etner.mp3 I’m interviewing The Purity Coach, Steve Etner. He has a point of purity program that will equip and train you in how to overcome porn addiction. His plan is Bible based and Christ centered, and he can help you create a strategic plan for ongoing pu…
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53 | 4 Ways To Help a Friend Experiencing Sexual Betrayal
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One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming! Today we wi…
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144: 5 Signs She’s Feeling Betrayal Trauma (And How You Can Address It)
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When a woman discovers her husband's pornography use, her whole world gets turn upside down. Oftentimes she now thinks that everything was a lie. Their whole relationship was fake. They don't even know who their husband is anymore. Given how much damage is done, many women experience what's called betrayal trauma. In this episode I share with you t…
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52 | What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
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After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth. Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re…
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143: How to Avoid Pornography If Your Spouse Leaves Town or For The Day
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When a spouse is gone for the day or weekend and a man is all alone, it's a common trigger. In this episode I share 3 specific things you can do to make sure that those periods of being alone won't cause another setback. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.…
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51 | Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal
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My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it? My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it? Would you both be willing to do all it takes to re…
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142: Success Story: Freedom After 30 Years of Pornography Use
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Change is 100% if you have the right ingredients. In today's episode, I want to introduce to you a man who has found success, and 2 years later, he continues to to do well, have a strong marriage, and help other people in their struggles with quitting porn. This path can I often feel discouraging and depressing because most men experience countless…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Season-8-Episode-7_-The-Road-to-Recovery.mp3 Found yourself in a place you never thought you’d be? The shame and hopelessness sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors can ignite are real…but there is hope. Today Chris talks about how he entered recovery and reached sobriety early on. The dif…
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50 | Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
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Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving. You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. …
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141: Why a Husband Avoids Initiating Conversations and How to Resolve It
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Initiating conversations can be very difficult for a husband to do. If his wife is in a good mood, he doesn’t want to bring up the pain all over again. If she's in a bad mood, he doesn't want to cause a fight or make things worse. Thus, he avoids the conversations with her and she ends up feeling unseen, unloved, and all alone. In this episode, I s…
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49 | Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you? Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, b…
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140: When Shame and "Self Pity" Dissolves Connection and Breaks Down the Conversation
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How do the conversations go when you talk about her pain? Do they end with you feeling closer or further apart? Do you feel hopeless and inadequate, not knowing what to say to help her feel comforted? For a wife, not getting the understanding and validation she needs creates hurt and anger, and the conversations just stall out leaving them both alo…
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48 | Closing the Gap - 3 Steps to Sexual Intimacy
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Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy? Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to of…
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139: When a Wife Brings Up Her Husband's Lack of Follow Through
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Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse where you're talking about specific actions that he's committed to do but then doesn't follow through? For a wife, it can feel really frustrating if there’s a lack of follow through because she often receives that as him not being committed or caring enough. For a husband, it can be frustrating…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Season-8-Episode-6_-Dan-Johnson-Interview.mp3 Today I’m excited to interview Dan Johnson from New Paths. I recently listened to Dan’s podcast and was blown away by his simple, yet profound method for how he stopped watching porn. Grab a pen and paper or open up your favorite note-taking app to captu…
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47| Sexual Intimacy with a Recovering Sex Addict in Marriage
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Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began. Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but i…
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138: The Top 3 Ways to Kill Your Chances of Having a Strong Marriage
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"We've been spinning our wheels for 9 months... I'm in a worst place now than the day I discovered everything." A couple reached out to me a few hours before recording this episode. They were both discouraged and frustrated add the slow pace of the process of healing. No matter what they did, she just felt stuck and like she couldn't move forward b…
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46 | Sexuality as a Sex-Addict in Marriage
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Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything …
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137: How Long Does It Take to Repair A Marriage After Pornography Use?
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This road to healing your marriage can be agonizing. So many people wonder how long will this take? They feel like they might not be able to hold on much longer. The good news is that it’s actually not based on a specific timeline or a number of years. Rather it’s based on how quickly you can learn the skills that you need to have new experiences t…
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45 | Intimacy with a Sex-Addict in Marriage
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Ladies, have you spent years trying to connect with your husband in a meaningful and fulfilling way only to find that you just couldn’t get there no matter what you did? Has it ever occurred to you that you may be trying to experience intimacy with a sex-addict? Seems oxymoronic, right? Intimacy with a sex- addict. We think so as well. But how many…
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136: How Long Do We Need To Keep Talking About It?
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After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes. Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same co…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Season-8-Episode-5.mp3 Today, I’m talking with Jorge, about the importance of community as it relates to recovery. I had no idea that rats would be a part of this conversation. Join us on the next episode of the purity podcast where I interview Dan Johnson from New Paths. Dan has created a really in…
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44 | Fearing the Worst? How to Plan for Sex Addiction Slips & Relapses in Your Marriage
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Ladies, now that you know your husband has been unfaithful and broken covenant with you; maybe through pornography use, maybe it even escalated to being sexually active outside of your marriage, I want to ask you, what is your biggest fear? If you are like me, you are afraid that he will do it again. This is a very real and natural thing to be conc…
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135: She Found Out He Was Hiding A Slip… Now What?
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Couples can very easily get stuck when a husband has a slip up, acts like things are normal, and then his wife finds out that he searched for something and didn’t tell her. This can cause a wife to spiral into distrust, self protection, anger and fear all over again and it has such a big impact on the relationship and their sense of progress togeth…
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43 | Our 12-Step Series Wrap Up: Which Sex Addiction Recovery Program Is the Best?
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What happens to a marriage, shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, that doesn’t undertake a specific recovery process? What happens to the individuals in that marriage? We believe, it’s likely that this marriage will be devoid of real connection and true intimacy. Sure, it is possible to stay married without recovery. Couples can sweep it under the r…
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134: He Thinks He's Making Progress Helping Her Feel Safe, She Doesn't
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March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them. It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress. If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety a…
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42 | Recovery Step 12: A Great Awakening - 7 Ways to Serve Others While Healing From Sex Addiction
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Have you ever experienced a life-changing revelation that compelled you to share it with others and integrate it into your life? This is similar to the impact of embracing recovery and is at the very heart of what we felt when we surrendered to Jesus. Today, we will explore the 12th step of recovery, and how we can actively share our message while …
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133: Narcissism and Pornography Use: Why They've Had It Wrong The Whole Time
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The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming. After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing… But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time? What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors? In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking n…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Season-8-Episode-4_-Healthy-Sexuality.mp3 Jorge joins Season 8 for the first time to talk about Healthy Sexuality. The conversation (that involved a lot of editing, lol) is designed to help men understand what healthy sexuality looks like and steps needed to help move from unhealthy sexuality into h…
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41 | Recovery Step 11: How Can We Know? 6 Points to Ponder When Seeking God’s Will
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Do you find it difficult to connect with God and know his will for your life? If you said yes, you are not alone. Just like the recovery journey, it takes a lot of persistent and consistent effort to cultivate a close relationship with the Lord. It doesn’t come naturally to us mere humans, but there is a roadmap for discovering how to make connecti…
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132: When the Tools Don’t Help You Feel Better or Make Progress
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Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc. But what if you try those things and you don't…
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40 | Valentine's Day Fails and Favorites Before and After Sexual Betrayal
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Let us be the first to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! Okay, how did that make you feel? Did you smile? Did it make you cringe? Did it bring up a feeling of excitement, or anger or even dread? We’ve found that Valentine’s Day is a tricky holiday. Well, it’s not a public holiday, but it is a recognized day on the calendar for celebrating love betw…
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131: Emotional Safety in Marriage is Key: Here Are 3 Ways to Create It
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Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use. Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use. As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship. An…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Season-8-Episode-3_-Mark-Denison-Interview.mp3 In Episode 3 Chris interviews Mark Denison to talk about his new book, Recovery Rules. In his book Mark gives 100 crazy awesome rules to a healthy recovery. We touch on several of the rules, talk about the difference between sobriety and recovery, and c…
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39 | Recovery Step 10: 4 Ways to Keep Your Relational Slate Clean & Stay Clear of Porn Addiction
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Do you have a daily practice of self-reflection? Do you ever stop to take stock in how you act, think, and feel when relating to others? Most of us have heard the phrase - wash, rinse, repeat. And no, we aren’t talking about the latest greatest shampoo. Today as we talk about the 10th Step in SSA Recovery we will peel back the layers of what a dail…
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130: The Solution to Avoid Trading One Bad Coping Mechanism for Another
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It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.). Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it. However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets …
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38 | Recovery Step 9: Become an Action Hero! Righting the Wrongs of Our Destructive Sexual Behavior
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Last week we asked the question: Have you ever hurt someone and come to not only realize that you hurt them but understood exactly how you hurt them? This week we want to ask: Have you felt any fear or intimidation when making the choice to go back and right that wrong? We have a special guest today who is going to share with us his experience with…
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