How To Be A Terrible Daughter podcast

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Innhold levert av Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, Elizabeth Malamed, and Megan Caper. Alt podcastinnhold, inkludert episoder, grafikk og podcastbeskrivelser, lastes opp og leveres direkte av Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, Elizabeth Malamed, and Megan Caper eller deres podcastplattformpartner. Hvis du tror at noen bruker det opphavsrettsbeskyttede verket ditt uten din tillatelse, kan du følge prosessen skissert her https://no.player.fm/legal.

The Agile Brand with Greg Kihlström®

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#644: AI-augmented human recommendations for retail customers with Noah Zamansky, Stitch Fix 27:12

for 11 dager siden27:12

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27:12

We are here at eTail Palm Springs and seeing and hearing the latest and greatest in e-commerce and retail. Question: Do you need to choose between AI and human recommendations as a customer? Why not have both? After all, don’t each have their strengths? AI in the retail experience is all the rage these days, but today I’m talking with someone from a brand that has been incorporating AI-personalized experiences and shopping combined with expert human recommendations for over 14 years, and continues to innovate today. Today we’re going to talk about how AI-based personalization plus human creativity and input makes an amazing customer experience at Stitch Fix. To help me discuss this topic, I’d like to welcome Noah Zamansky, Vice President of Product and Client Experience at Stitch Fix. About Noah Zamansky Noah Zamansky serves as the Vice President of Product and Client Experience at Stitch Fix, where he leads cross-functional teams spanning Product, Design, Engineering, Algorithms, and Platform Development. A seasoned leader, Noah has a proven track record of shaping product vision and strategy, designing exceptional user experiences, and spearheading the launch of new business ventures. Before joining Stitch Fix, Noah held the role of Senior Director of Product Management at eBay, overseeing Fashion and Vertical Experiences. Resources Stitch Fix: https://www.stitchfix.com eTail Palm Springs: https://etailwest.wbresearch.com/ Connect with Greg on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregkihlstrom Listen to The Agile Brand without the ads. Learn more here: https://bit.ly/3ymf7hd Don't miss a thing: get the latest episodes, sign up for our newsletter and more: https://www.theagilebrand.show Check out The Agile Brand Guide website with articles, insights, and Martechipedia, the wiki for marketing technology: https://www.agilebrandguide.com The Agile Brand podcast is brought to you by TEKsystems. Learn more here: https://www.teksystems.com/versionnextnow The Agile Brand is produced by Missing Link—a Latina-owned strategy-driven, creatively fueled production co-op. From ideation to creation, they craft human connections through intelligent, engaging and informative content. https://www.missinglink.company…

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Wondering how to be a terrible daughter? Listen as Elizabeth Malamed and Megan Caper, mental health professionals who also happen to be cousins, discuss growing up in toxic families, surviving narcissistic abuse, and moving forward after trauma. The How To Be a Terrible Daughter podcast is a place to find community, put words to your experience, and laugh at the dark stuff. We’ll share our stories from our own childhoods, make mental health concepts easy to understand, and interview intriguing guests along the way. Oh, and you can also let Megan and Elizabeth hate your parents for you if you're having mixed feelings. We don’t mind, we’ve got plenty of pent up anger for everyone. If your parents have ever called you terrible, horrible or something even worse, come join us!

19 episoder

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

How To Be a Terrible Daughter explicit

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19 episoder

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How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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018: Narcissist Escape Room—Just Kidding, You’re Stuck 52:08

for 7 dager siden52:08

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Not everyone has the luxury of going no-contact with a narcissistic parent, and if that’s your situation, congratulations—you’ve unlocked the expert-level difficulty setting on f*ed up family dynamics. In this episode, we break down why no-contact isn’t always an option (hint: the whole “just cut them out of your life” advice isn’t as simple as it sounds). Whether it's family obligations, financial ties, or just the logistical nightmare of trying to dodge them at every holiday, we get it. The good news? There are strategies to help you survive. We cover practical ways to manage interactions, from setting boundaries that actually work to using mental escape hatches when you’re stuck at a family function. We also share a guided visualization technique that can help you keep your cool when the narcissist is in full performance mode. Plus, we’ve got another round of “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” (because apparently, there’s no limit to the absurdity) and an exciting update about podcast merch that you’ll soon be able to get your hands on. As always, we wrap things up with our weekly tools—this time, it’s about finding music that speaks to both the toddler and the angsty teen inside us. Because honestly, sometimes the only way to get through family drama is by blasting a song that makes you feel like you just stormed out of your childhood bedroom. If you’re stuck navigating a relationship with a narcissist, we’re here with you. Let’s figure it out together. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: The specific challenges faced by those who can't go no-contact with narcissistic family members [1:47] Some of the common reasons why no contact may not be an option [3:24] Practical tips that can help you survive difficult situations with the narcissist in your life [10:16] A practical visualization exercise you can use to keep your sanity at the next family function you attend [15:49] What to keep in mind in order to steer the conversation with the narcissist when it just can’t be avoided [23:35] More unbelievable “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” from our past and an exciting update about podcast merchandise that you’ll soon be able to purchase [40:59] The weekly tools that made our life easier, including listening to music that connects with both the toddler and the teenager sides of us [45:49] Links & Resources: 007: 3,2,1… No Contact! 011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide IBP Breath work video (Integrative Body Psychotherapy) Relax Calm Focus Way to the Well: A Trance Journey for Empowerment Sesame Street: Will.i.am Sings "What I Am" Lilith Fair…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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017: Forgiveness: Terms and Conditions Apply 58:47

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Ah, forgiveness—the gold standard of healing, right? Well, not so fast. When you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, the usual “forgive and move on” advice hits differently (read: doesn’t apply). In this episode, we get into why survivors often feel pressured to forgive before they’ve even processed what the hell happened—and why prioritizing your own healing is way more important than rushing to absolve someone who’s never taken accountability in their life. We swap stories about our own forgiveness struggles, including Megan’s unexpected wake-up call and Elizabeth’s go-to advice when people ask, “But don’t you think you should just forgive?” (Spoiler: No, not necessarily.) We also get into the difference between acceptance and forgiveness, why self-forgiveness is non-negotiable, and the reality that some things are, in fact, unforgivable. And of course, we round it out with a “Mini Crazy Mom Off” that perfectly demonstrates why narcissists will never, ever take responsibility—but sure, let’s talk about our forgiveness issues. If you’ve ever wrestled with this topic, pull up a chair. We’re right there with you. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: Why victims of narcissistic abuse often use forgiveness as a coping mechanism [6:01] What Elizabeth often tells others asking them about forgiveness and a reminder that your healing must always remain as your priority [8:52] A profound experience that Megan had and the surprising advice she was given at that time about forgiveness [13:13] Why forgiving a narcissist requires a unique approach compared to typical interpersonal situations [23:48] The crucial role of self-forgiveness in healing from narcissistic abuse and practical steps for achieving it [27:36] The subtle but significant differences between acceptance and forgiveness in the context of narcissistic relationships [31:11] Why offering compassion doesn't necessarily mean forgiving a narcissist [38:35] Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” and a story that illustrates a narcissist's inability to take responsibility for their actions [42:13] The tools that helped us this week, including an activity Megan started doing that gave her a powerful metaphor for life [51:18] Links & Resources: Blue Velvet (1986) – IMDb Maurice Sendak’s Books for Children…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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016: The Casual Demolition of What Little Self-Worth You Have 1:07:52

for 5 weeks siden1:07:52

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In this episode, we wade through the debris of self-esteem left in the wake of growing up with narcissistic parents. It’s not a pretty picture. From the relentless cycle of love bombing to the casual demolition of what little self-worth we managed to scrape together, we unpack the chaotic dynamics that leave us questioning our value. It’s not just the mixed signals, either—narcissists thrive on keeping their supply unstable, ensuring those around them feel isolated and off-kilter. Sound familiar? You’re in good company. We also tackle the unique social stigma that comes with narcissistic mothers—because apparently, calling out bad parenting is still a no-go in polite society. But it’s not all heavy-hearted realizations. Elizabeth shares how discovering witchcraft gave their self-esteem a much-needed boost, while Megan recounts the bond with a childhood pet that became a lifeline of unconditional love. And, of course, we can’t forget the “Mini Crazy Mom Offs,” where we swap gut-wrenching stories of the times our mothers managed to make even the most precious moments a dumpster fire. As always, we wrap up with a dose of weekly grounding and empowerment tools. Elizabeth shares a strategy for reconnecting to the present moment, while Megan reflects on embracing both her inner villain and princess—because hey, why not claim the whole damn castle? Whether you’re here for the camaraderie, the coping strategies, or just to laugh so you don’t cry, welcome to the club. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: Why a lack of self-esteem is commonly a major issue faced by those of us raised by narcissists [6:30] The role that the constant cycle of love bombing and derision by the narcissist plays in this erosion of self-esteem [10:09] The difference in growing up with a narcissist versus having a narcissist as a partner later in life [14:24] A look at the concept of “narcissistic supply” and how the narcissist thrives by having people around them who are unstable and feel isolated [15:57] A social taboo that exists with narcissistic mothers who are horrible to their children [21:38] How finding “The Craft” took Elizabeth’s became a total game-changer for Elizabeth’s self-esteem [37:02] The bond Megan formed with a pet that allowed her to feel safe and loved growing up [41:29] Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” and heartbreaking stories of our mothers destroying what was precious to us [45:07] What Elizabeth did this week to ground themselves and how Megan embraced being both the “villain” and the “princess” in our weekly tools segment [59:01] Links & Resources: Grimms’ Fairy Tales Grounding Tools Mentioned: https://sharonknight.bandcamp.com/track/take-your-spirit-down http://www.campusactivism.org/server-new/uploads/groundcenter.html…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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015: Burn Before Breeding 58:01

for 7 weeks siden58:01

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Parenting is hard enough without the baggage of a narcissistic childhood, but add that to the mix, and it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with a blowtorch—messy, confusing, and likely to leave you questioning your life choices. In this episode, Elizabeth gets real about the emotional booby traps of raising kids after surviving narcissistic parenting, sharing the moments that have both wrecked and rebuilt them. Megan dives into the fine art of breaking toxic cycles, offering tools for collaboration and repair that make parenting slightly less like being a contestant on Survivor. We unpack everything from the stark contrast between narcissistic and gentle parenting to the myth of the “good enough parent.” Plus, a reality check on why shadow work is unavoidable when you’re raising humans and why it’s okay to start small—like the size of a Goldfish cracker crushed into the carpet. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re screwing up your kids or breaking the cycle, this episode promises dark laughs, raw truths, and the reassurance that parenting is less about perfection and more about persistence. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: How the “childless by choice” movement has been gaining steam over the last decade or so [4:02] What’s behind the narcissist’s desire to have children and the complicated emotions Elizabeth felt around becoming a parent [8:07] The key differences between narcissistic parenting and gentle parenting [15:27] The single most important message that Elizabeth has always held front and center for their child [21:37] Some of the big realizations that Elizabeth has come to during their time raising a child [23:05] What we mean when we say that parenting is really a way of looking at your shadow [27:15] Powerful tools around collaboration that Megan uses and recommends to the people she works with and how this can be applied specifically to parenthood [29:50] A reality of parenting and what to keep in perspective about disagreements and the ability to repair relationships [37:27] The problem with the concept of the “Good Enough Parent” in this week’s “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” [40:19] How we’ve been using movies as a tool to get through our weeks and one specific movie that Elizabeth highly recommends watching [51:18] Megan’s hobby that demonstrates the need to be gentle with ourselves and to start small when beginning something new [52:27] Links & Resources: Pilot keeps composure after his helicopter has an engine failure over the mountains (Reddit) Dr. Ross Greene’s Website Good Enough Parent: A Book on Child-Rearing by Bruno Bettelheim Velvet Goldmine (1998) - IMDb How ‘Velvet Goldmine’ Captured the Glam-Rock Era Like No Other (Rolling Stone)…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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014: Vampires vs Narcissists: You’re Eating Maggots 1:06:34

for 9 weeks siden1:06:34

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We’re off to the movies this week! On How to Be a Terrible Daughter, we’re diving into the 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys. Vampires, family drama, and a killer soundtrack—what’s not to love? But beneath the stylish leather jackets and fangs, this film holds surprising insights for anyone unraveling the complexities of childhood trauma. Join us as we unpack the movie’s themes of found family, gaslighting, and rebellion. We explore why vampires and narcissists have more in common than you’d think. From Megan’s coming-out parallels to Elizabeth’s high school obsession with The Lost Boys poster (hung in the closet—literally), we’re peeling back the layers of this nostalgic favorite. Whether you’re here for the homoerotic undertones, the family dynamics, or just a good old-fashioned vampire flick, get ready. Let’s embrace the darkness, dodge the garlic, and laugh your way through the blood-soaked memories! We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: Some background on The Lost Boys and why we both love the tag line from the movie so much [3:59] How the movie was similar to Megan’s coming out process in so many ways and why she felt conflicted inside when watching it [8:58] Scenes from the movie that now reveal subtle gaslighting tactics used by certain characters [17:03] The parallels between narcissistic abuse and the characteristics of vampires, including the difficulty of disconnecting from both [23:18] How science fiction films like The Lost Boys can serve as a powerful reflection for those who have experienced or are currently experiencing narcissistic abuse [34:48] Some of the homoerotic themes and undertones that we see now in this movie and others from the 1980’s [39:28] Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs”, including a movie-themed story from Elizabeth’s past [49:08] A major realization we’ve both made about self-care in our look at the tools that helped us through this week [59:02] Links & Resources: The Lost Boys (1987) - IMDb Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) - IMDb Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010) – IMDb 011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide Becky Chambers (author) The Lost Boys: Critical Readings…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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013: Shrink Wrap: How to Find a Therapist 1:11:43

for 11 weeks siden1:11:43

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This week, we’re tackling the high-stakes scavenger hunt of finding the right therapist, especially for those of us recovering from narcissistic abuse. Let’s face it—finding a therapist isn’t just about picking the one who looks the least like they’d start a cult. We break down the whole process, from roping in friends and former therapists for recommendations (because why do all the work yourself?) to nailing those 15-minute consultation calls to see if they’re worthy of your copay. We’ll also walk you through the serious (and seriously uncomfortable) considerations that come with embarking on deep healing work—you know, the kind where you’re basically signing up to face your emotional nightmares, but hopefully with a guide who isn’t more terrifying than the dreams. Not into traditional therapy? No problem. We’ve got the lowdown on complementary healing modalities too, from energy work to body-based approaches, and what to watch for so you don’t accidentally end up in a drum circle wondering how you got there. Megan shares why it’s okay to toss out what doesn’t work for you, while Elizabeth heaps praise on Megan’s energy healing skills—seriously, she might start a fan club. And, of course, no episode would be complete without our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs,” because healing from toxic mothers takes more than therapy—it takes humor. We close with the weekly tools that kept us grounded, including sunset beach walks and one delightfully strange way to complete nature’s circle. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: How to enlist the help of friends, previous therapists, and other resources to find the best therapist for your needs [2:47] The unique challenges and needs of people recovering from narcissistic abuse [6:49] A step-by-step process for researching and selecting a therapist, along with helpful questions and prompts [8:34] Our insights into important considerations for embarking on a deep healing journey through therapy [13:49] Various complementary modalities that can support your recovery from narcissistic abuse and what to keep in mind with each of them [17:37] The benefits of energy healing and why Elizabeth considers Megan the best energy worker they've ever worked with [46:24] Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs”: Two more stories about the impact of toxic mothers and our strategies for healing from these wounds [53:53] The weekly tools that helped us get through the week, including sunset beach walks and a transformative way to complete nature’s circle [64:00] Links & Resources: Learn More About Megan’s Energy Healing Psychology Today No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz, PhD Curvy Yoga…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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012: What kind of F*er are you? The four stress responses 1:02:22

for 13 weeks siden1:02:22

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What happens when the place that's supposed to feel the safest—your childhood home—turns out to be the source of your deepest stress? Your nervous system does what it’s designed to do: it kicks into survival mode. In this episode, inspired by Megan’s viral blog post, we explore the four common stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the lesser-known (but all-too-familiar) fawn. If you’ve ever felt like making yourself small was the only way to keep the peace, you’re not alone. We’re unpacking how these responses show up in daily life, especially for those of us raised by narcissistic parents. Why do you freeze in conflict or feel like every interaction requires you to earn your worth? It’s not you—it’s a pattern handed down from the narcissist in your life, and we’ll examine it with our signature mix of candid insights, a little sarcasm, and a lot of empathy. This episode is your reminder to approach yourself with the love and care you didn’t get as a kid. Your nervous system isn’t broken—it’s been working overtime to keep you safe. Together, we’ll learn how to support it in a healthier way, one step at a time. Healing isn’t something we do alone, so let’s figure it out together. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: • A rundown of the four common stress responses and some of the scientific jargon behind this topic [4:50] • Some examples of the fight response and an example from Elizabeth’s childhood that demonstrates this [6:40] • When the flight response that you use to get out of a situation can get problematic [8:03] • The most commons ways that people experience the freeze response in modern society [18:30] • What fawning or appeasing is, examples of this type of response and the reasons why people do it [21:24] • Which of these responses tend to become developed in children of narcissists [26:12] • Why it’s so important to become aware of these responses and to do your best to remain in a state of self-compassion throughout [32:32] • Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs”: how Megan’s freeze response was completely misunderstood and used by her mom and a recurring dream/nightmare that Elizabeth had when younger [39:48] • The tools that got us through this week, including pancakes and win-win dog play [57:12] Links & Resources: Megan’s Blog Post Penny's Instagram…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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011: Silent Night, Silent Treatment: A Holiday Survival Guide 1:02:29

for 15 weeks siden1:02:29

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The holidays are coming in hot (and so are the guilt trips), but fear not—we’ve got your back. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever gathering your narcissistic family insists is mandatory, this time of year can feel like an emotional minefield. That’s why we’re kicking off Season 2 with The Holiday Survival Guide. This isn’t your typical advice about bringing a nice dish and avoiding politics at the dinner table. No, no. We’re breaking down what to do before, during, and after the family event, so you can survive while keeping your self-preservation, boundaries, and mental health intact. And here's our favorite holiday mantra: If your family's going to cast you as the villain in their story because you chose self-preservation over their picture-perfect fantasy... own that role! Embrace your status as the terrible daughter (or son)! After all, if you're going to be talked about anyway, you might as well be comfortable while it's happening. Remember: You don't have to RSVP 'yes' to every emotional guilt trip your family sets along your path. 🎙️ Tune in for tips, tales, and truth bombs, because your well-being is the real gift this season. Let us know what part of the holidays you dread most in the comments. Or better yet, tell us how you’re planning to be the villain – we’re taking notes. We’re so happy to be back here with you for a brand-new season of the podcast. If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com! What We Cover In This Episode: A litmus test you can use to recognize the difference between abusive family practices or those that are just unpleasant [6:31] What to do before your holiday visit, including specific things to put in place and actual wording for anticipating and handling situations that may arise [11:28] Personal boundaries we recommend you consider and the ultimate purpose of taking these pre-emptive measures [19:10] Simple things you can do to nurture yourself, including the clothing you wear during the visit [24:28] What to do while you’re there with your family that can make it easier for everyone and to avoid potential issues [27:41] An important reminder that you are indeed allowed to leave and that they probably will still talk about you, regardless of what you do [38:03] After-care strategies that will allow you to rest, relax and recharge after the holidays conclude for another year [43:58] Our first “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” of the new season with a flashback to 1980’s and Megan’s very first dance [48:13] The tools we’re using: How Elizabeth is improving the ecosystem of their neighborhood and Megan’s recent adventures in the kitchen [56:55] Links & Resources: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 2 Episode 11, featuring John Ritter…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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010: You Shall Not Pass! 1:02:22

for 25 weeks siden1:02:22

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In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter , we expand on a topic we touched on in previous episode, and it’s a BIG one, boundaries —a concept that might as well have been a foreign language growing up with narcissistic parents. Boundaries weren’t just discouraged; they were often trampled over, leaving us with the difficult task of figuring out how to set them as adults. Whether it’s about personal space, emotional needs, or your work environment, boundaries are more than just a defense mechanism—they’re essential to your well-being. We explore why these invisible lines are so crucial, the common misconceptions that surround them, and how you can start recognizing when and where you need to draw them. We also share the reality of what happens when boundaries aren’t respected—or worse, when they’re outright ignored. We illustrate how failing to set or enforce boundaries can leave you vulnerable to continued emotional invasions. But it’s not just about the doom and gloom; we also discuss the very first steps you should take before setting a boundary, the importance of solitude in recognizing your needs, and how to approach these tough conversations without feeling like you’re asking for too much. Spoiler: You’re not. Finally, we look at the surprising benefits of boundaries—because, yes, they’re not just about keeping people out. In fact, boundaries can be a form of intimacy, allowing you to connect more deeply with those who respect them. We wrap up with some practical tools you can use to protect your emotional space and examples of mantras that help reinforce your sense of agency. If you’ve ever felt like your boundaries are constantly being tested, this episode will give you the armor you need to protect your peace—and maybe even find some comfort in the process. FYI – this is the last episode of season one. We’ve so enjoyed (over)sharing our stories with you. We’ll be back for season two soon. Stay tuned! And stay away from your mom. PS: We still want to hear from you even though we’re working on things behind the scenes. You’re our new bestie, so don’t be afraid to reach out and say hi! We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: • The need for boundaries in all three different areas: person, environment and occupation [3:58] • What boundaries are and a common misconception that exists about them [8:40] • Specific signs that Elizabeth received from their body and the role that being in solitude helps in recognizing these signs [10:14] • The very first step to take before you set a boundary [10:48] • Examples of what a boundary can look like and verbiage you can use to have agency in these situations [16:29] • Certain agency mantras Elizabeth had to learn and the ways in which self-abandonment differs from sharing [25:12] • A cautionary tale from Megan of what can happen by not asking for help [31:19] • Actionable tips for approaching the conversation on boundaries, plus strategies for checking in with yourself when you’re feeling uncomfortable in the situation [36:08] • Elizabeth’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” story where their right to privacy was taken away in such a demeaning way [44:06] • Megan’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” where a clear and defined boundary with her mother was violated [49:26] • Helpful tools that we used this week, with one related to boundaries around devices and another that showed how a boundary can actually be a form of intimacy [57:00]…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

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009: “So Lonely” 56:06

for 27 weeks siden56:06

56:06

In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter , we take a stroll through the exhausting, often invisible labor of loneliness that comes with having a narcissistic parent. This isn’t the kind of loneliness where you finally get some peace and quiet—no, this is more like an unpaid internship where you’re emotionally drained and questioning your life choices daily. It's the kind of loneliness that’s so deeply ingrained in your reality that you might start believing it's normal. We explore how this brand of loneliness shapes your relationships and why your siblings might carry completely different scars despite growing up in the same emotional funhouse. And let’s not forget the coping mechanisms we’ve developed to survive—those trusty tools that, surprise, often keep us shackled to the very people we’d love to avoid. We dive into the lasting damage that persists even after the narcissist has made their grand exit, and how to break out of the “can’t win” cages they so meticulously build. For those who like to turn lemons into something a bit stronger, we share how to transform that pile of trauma into “F*ck You Fuel” to power your way forward. By the end of this episode, you’ll hopefully feel a little less alone, a little more understood, and maybe even ready to give a mental high-five to your past self for making it this far. We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: • What to understand about the difference between loneliness and being alone [3:01] • How Megan learned to handle feeling the intense hunger for emotional connection and the way she started to feel disconnected from her own self [6:45] • Why the coping skills we put in place often allow the abuser to keep abusing us [13:16 • The “can’t win” situation narcissists often put us in and the way out of this cage [17:06] • How your experience with loneliness will be different than that of your siblings and why we feel this happens in so many families [22:13] • A look at intergenerational trauma and the damage that may last forever even after the narcissist is gone [26:59] • What Megan is doing to turn trauma into “F*ck You Fuel” [30:00] • Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” centered around the theme of gift giving for the both of us [34:38] • The tools we used to cope this week that led to the release of tension and helped combat the loneliness we feel [46:19] Links & Resources: 001: Welcome to Our Nightmare 003: Barbed Wire Mommy To Make a Friend, Ask Someone For a Favor. | Psychology Today Song learning and social interaction in indigo buntings THE LONELIEST WHALE | Official Trailer | Bleecker Street Noah Rothschild IBP Introduction to Sustaining Constancy Breathwork Series Trauma Release Exercise (TRE) Powder horn (Wikipedia) Swatch…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

1
008: “Mailbag Mayhem” 56:25

for 29 weeks siden56:25

56:25

Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter!" In this special mailbag episode, we’re diving into your burning questions about surviving and thriving despite narcissistic relationships. We kick things off by discussing how to handle those who get prickly about the term "narcissist"—because let's be honest, it’s not your job to make everyone else comfortable with the truth. We also clear up some common misconceptions about what victims of abuse "should" look like, reminding everyone that looking put together can often be a trauma response, not a sign that everything’s okay. One of the most powerful analogies we explore is the idea that, growing up with a narcissistic parent, you’re handed a manual for being a robot instead of a human. The narcissist dictates everything, from how you should think to how you should feel, leaving you disconnected from your true self. Elizabeth shares how this played out in her life, and we look at the psychological warfare that makes you question your every move. We also respect the privacy of our listeners by not using names, understanding that many are still trapped in the web of narcissistic trauma. The fear of repercussions and the deep-seated shame instilled by the narcissist make speaking out a daunting task. We’re here to honor that fear and provide a safe space for all of you navigating this difficult path. Finally, we wrap up with our usual “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and some practical tools for getting through the week. Plus, we’re excited to share ways you can anonymously join our growing community. Whether you’re here for advice, solidarity, or just a good laugh at the absurdity of it all, this episode has got you covered. If we didn’t have time to answer your question in this episode, don’t worry, we’re sure we’ll be doing another mailbag episode in the future – so keep writing in! We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: How to respond if others get “prickly” about the term “narcissist” [2:36] Common misconceptions people have about the ways in which victims of abuse should act [5:46] Two different interactions Elizabeth recently had that demonstrate both being heard, and not heard, by the other person [9:06] A closer look at the flying monkeys that we have been talking about on the podcast and the role that they play for narcissists [13:12] Our thoughts on what is happening when victims always feel like they’re doing something wrong and the analogy we use of being given a manual for how to be a robot, not a human [21:41] Something to keep in mind about the rules of the game that the narcissist often plays by [25:34] A recurring thought pattern that one listener is having and one thing to keep in mind that can make all the difference when self-reflecting on narcissism [28:14] A very important reminder that you are NOT the crazy one [32:06] Our “Mini Crazy Mom Offs” and a story about a mother’s bullying, along with a horror story of someone coming back from the grave [34:10] What we’ve been using to help us get through our weeks, including tools for self-dialogue and long-term goal setting [50:26] ● How we’re looking to branch out with this podcast and a way that you can get involved, anonymously [54:46]…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

1
007: 3,2,1… No Contact! 1:13:55

for 31 weeks siden1:13:55

1:13:55

Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter," where we tackle the gut-wrenching yet necessary step of going no contact with a narcissistic mother. First, let's break down what "no contact" really means, it's not just about ignoring a few phone calls. It's about reclaiming your peace and sanity from the grip of a narcissist. It’s a dreaded yet liberating move that can feel like cutting off a gangrenous limb to save your life. But trust us, it’s often as necessary as it sounds. Megan kicks things off with her tale of setting boundaries that her mother bulldozed through, leading to the tough decision of no contact. It's a tale of boundaries being set like iron gates and then, of course, being trampled like they were made of wet tissue paper. Elizabeth shares her own regret about waiting too long to go no contact, reinforcing why the best time to act is yesterday. We discuss the logistics of cutting ties, likening it to planning a covert mission. Narcissists don’t just vanish into thin air—they escalate, often dragging other family members into the chaos. Think of it as a twisted game of emotional chess, where every move you make needs to be calculated with precision. We offer practical advice on setting boundaries and dealing with fallout from family members who might not understand your decision. Please note that this episode may include general details of experiences that we’d have with clients in our line of work, but be assured that no identifying information is included and that confidentiality is still maintained. We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: ● What going “no contact” means and what the main goal of it should be [1:37] ● Megan’s process of going no contact with her other, how she started it and the boundaries she put in place that ultimately weren’t respected [3:29] ● Why Megan didn’t regret going no contact with her mother for about 30 years and the reason that Elizabeth regretting waited so long to do the same with their mother [7:03] ● The “how” of going no contact and the chain reaction that occurs after contact with the narcissist is cut off [13:37] ● Some of the ramifications of going no contact and what you should be prepared for in regard to other family members [16:54] ● The reasons why going no contact for Elizabeth was more complicated and why they say that no matter what your situation is, proper planning is critical [20:03] ● Helpful hints to navigate going no contact if you decide to do it [29:23] ● What the narcissist really wants, and why it’s not saving the relationship with you [45:14] ● A “Mini Crazy Mom Off” about Elizabeth’s mother and how it shows the reality of what happens when you go no contact with a narcissist [46:23] ● An unbelievable response Megan’s mother had to a situation regarding her health that showed who she really was [57:45] ● A game-changing practice Elizabeth is using to return to who they really are [68:03] ● How a movie recommendation from a friend recently provided Megan validation and healing [70:11] Links & Resources: 003: Barbed Wire Mommy 004: Narcissistic Abuse: A Carnival of Mind F*ckery Problemista (2023)…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

1
006: Grief: It's Not Just for the Dead Anymore! 57:07

for 33 weeks siden57:07

57:07

In this latest episode of our podcast, we tackle the unique and often misunderstood grief experienced by children of narcissistic parents. We've all been there—grieving someone who's still alive. We dive into how grieving can be a complex and prolonged process, sharing personal stories and insights that many will find all too familiar. From the subtle ways we've had to make ourselves small to the armor we've built to protect our hearts, we unpack the emotional baggage that comes with a narcissistic upbringing. We also take a look at unique types of grief experienced by children of narcissistic parents. We explore four different types of grief, with a special focus on complicated, atypical grief, and discuss why narcissists might feel regret but rarely change their behavior. As always, we offer practical tools that have helped us, including tips to expand self-love, and remind you of the importance of community in these experiences. Whether it's through listening to our podcast or treating yourself to some well-deserved flowers, know that you are not alone, and you are definitely not selfish for prioritizing your well-being. We’re so happy to be here with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: • How Elizabeth came to realize they had been grieving their mother their whole life, even when she was alive [4:19] • The way that Megan felt when her mother passed a few years ago and why it may not have been typical of the “normal” way others grieve [5:44] • A breakdown of four different types of grief and a closer look at the main one we talk about today, complicated grief [6:59] • How narcissists can feel regret, but it doesn’t translate into action or a change in behavior [12:38] • The stages Megan has gone through to learn what it’s like to give and receive love [16:54] • One of the main reasons why people with trauma find and gravitate towards each other [20:32] • The way in which we often cut off parts of ourselves and are made to be small when raised by a narcissist, and the “armor” Elizabeth had to put on to protect themselves growing up [24:04] • Elizabeth’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and a special moment in their life where a narcissist try to make it all about herself [36:18] • Megan’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and a narcissistic act that her mother did upon passing [41:19] • More tools that have helped us, including one that will help you expand the love you have for yourself [49:03] • A reminder of how you can contribute and be a part of the experience here on the podcast [55:03] Links & Resources: Stages of Grief Mettā meditation…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

1
005: Surviving the Narcissist's Greatest Sh*tshow on Earth 56:29

for 35 weeks siden56:29

56:29

Welcome back to part two of our latest episode on the ins and outs of narcissistic abuse. If you missed our previous talk, here's a quick recap: we explored how this type of abuse differs starkly from other emotional harms. Trust us, it's uniquely troubling. This week, Megan shares a revealing story about a narcissist's distorted view of reality—it's as unsettling as it sounds. We also dive into the murky waters of narcissistic behaviors, discussing the phenomena of splitting and narcissistic rage. Plus, Megan brings an intriguing insight from her experience with clients who were the "golden child" in their families. It might just shift your perspective. And, because we all need a little levity, get ready for the "Mini Crazy Mom Off." Elizabeth brings a twist with a Thomas Jefferson quote that bizarrely fits our narrative, and Megan recounts the saga of reopening communication with her mother after years of silence—through some jaw-dropping emails. How do we keep our spirits up amidst this chaos? This week, screaming goats have been our unexpected heroes. Yes, really—screaming goats. So, join us as we tackle these intense topics with a mix of humor and empathy. You're not alone on this journey; let's navigate it together. Have you experienced any of these tactics? Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how it affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram! We’re so happy to be here together with each other and with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop, and we would love for you to connect with us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or send us an email, H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: • A summary of narcissistic abuse in case you missed last week and how this type of abuse is so different from other kinds [1:55] • A specific example from Megan’s past that demonstrates a narcissist’s view of reality [4:30] • Profound comments by Elizabeth’s husband on narcissistic abuse and a great war analogy that demonstrates its intricacies [10:25] • Narcissistic rage and when, and how, it tends to arise for the narcissist [13:13] • A conversation on splitting and what two different ways to think about it [21:57] • Something fascinating that Megan has seen in her clients who were viewed as the “golden child” growing up [24:15] • Elizabeth’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and the role that a Thomas Jefferson quote played in this experience [30:50] • Megan’s “Mini Crazy Mom Off” and a story about emails she received from her mother after many years of no contact with her [38:00] • Tools that helped us get through this week when triggered, including screaming goats [46:09] Links & Resources: 004: Narcissistic Abuse: A Carnival of Mind F*ckery Mother (The Police, Official Video) Thor Is Rewarded With Screaming Goats Scene | Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-abuse/ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/abuse/narcissistic-abuse-examples-how-to-identify-if-youre-a-victim-of-abuse/ ·…

How To Be a Terrible Daughter

1
004: Narcissistic Abuse: A Carnival of Mind F*ckery 46:11

for 37 weeks siden46:11

46:11

In this episode, we're going to explore the many subtypes of narcissistic abuse. Yes, there are so many that we need to employ a categorization system. In fact, there are so many that this will be a two-part episode. A core focus will be understanding what makes narcissistic abuse so distinctly damaging compared to other forms of mistreatment. We'll illustrate how these toxic manipulators operate and the mind-bending reality distortions they employ to maintain control. We'll examine the traumatic effects of behaviors like love bombing, boundary violations, splitting, gaslighting, and the pernicious blame-shifting of DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). Of course, we'll end by sharing some crazy mom stories and tools we used this week to maintain our sanity. Have you experienced any of these tactics? Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how it affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram! We’re so happy to be here together with each other and with you. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop, and we would love for you to connect with us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or send us an email, H2Bterrible@gmail.com ! What We Cover In This Episode: • A brilliant quote and analogy about what it’s really like having a narcissistic parent and some of the ways in which victims of this type of abuse can feel [1:33] • What makes narcissistic abuse different than other kinds of abuse [5:05] • Our thoughts on the love bombing and devaluation that occurs with narcissistic abuse and why this sort of cycle is so overwhelming to the system of the victim [12:17] • The ways that ignoring boundaries play a key piece in narcissistic abuse [20:08] • What the DARVO acronym stands for and a role-play that demonstrates its nuances [22:33] • Our weekly “Mini Crazy Mom Off” stories that cover triangulation, destabilization and more [30:09] • The tools we both used this week and how Elizabeth’s may seem counterintuitive, but was effective for them [41:50] · ·. Links & Resources: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-abuse/ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/abuse/narcissistic-abuse-examples-how-to-identify-if-youre-a-victim-of-abuse/…

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