Tomatoes on Our Highways, Mammoths in Our Midst

Journos

Let's take a look at things in places where they shouldn’t be, the illusory nature of reality, and bringing mammoths back from the dead to save the world.

First up, truck spills — the story that America just can’t quit. Not too long ago 150,000 tomatoes were strewn across the road from a big truck in California. Then — that very same week — thousands of jars of Alfredo sauce found their way onto an interstate down in Tennessee. But are stories like these just clickbait, or do they reveal something deeper about our yearning for order to prevail? Probably both. But either way, clear next Tuesday’s calendar and dive into the annals of www.truckspills.com. It’s what critics are calling “a delightful romp through Web 1.0.”

So, every time a truck spills its cargo, the fabric of reality is tested. We’re reminded that the utterly predictable can give way to absurdity in milliseconds. But what happens when we go out of our way to mess with the natural order of things?

We may find out soon enough. That’s because at least one tech startup is promising to resurrect the wooly mammoth to fight climate change. It could work — bringing back the bison population in Oklahoma was a huge success — or it could, you know, go all Jurassic Park on us. Or maybe it’ll just piss a few folks off, like these beavers did. Hard sayin’, not knowin’, since we’ve yet to “de-extinct” an animal. One thing’s for certain: A lot of money will be printed in the process.

Join us, as we take a wide-angle look at how all this weird shit fits together. Heck, a jar of creamy pasta sauce and a resurrected hairy elephant might have more in common than you think.