EP51- My Take on the Hot Crazy Matrix

Man Shopping with Stacie

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the Hot Crazy Matrix. I talk about how appearance, mental stability and emotional availability affect our search for a compatible partner.
To begin, I think the terms hot, crazy, and emotionally unavailable are incredibly subjective. My idea of a HOT man, vastly differs from friend's opinions. I share a recent example.
For the most part, I believe that what is "hot" to you, may not be "hot" to me. BUT, I also think there are some universally undeniably hot people out there who we can all agree on.
To begin, I think it's wise for all of us to take an honest inventory of ourselves, physically. To drive home the point, I critique my own appearance.
I think some people have a skewed version of their own attractiveness and it leads them to disappointment and an altered sense of reality regarding who they can attract based on physical traits alone. So, I suggest we should all consider how hot, crazy, and emotionally unavailable are WE before we cast judgement on others.
Recently, I went on a date with a guy who shared with me that when he comes across a really beautiful woman on a dating app, the first question that comes to his mind is... (Fill in the _) What is WRONG with her?
I think this is a storyline society creates. If you're gorgeous and alone, you must be crazy.
From a female perspective, I think pretty boys are hard to find. When we're young, there are attractive people everywhere but as we age, I think it's MUCH harder to find someone we're attracted to. Speaking for myself, I am discerning and have had a hard time finding someone I have chemistry with at this point in my life. I make the point that our married friends have grown old with the loves of their lives. They fell for each other when they were young and hot and it still works because they've formed a loving bond so they're still into each other. Us singles out here are trying to be attracted to this older version of ourselves and it can be challenging.
Have you ever tried to date someone who you don't consider to be that "hot" ? You try to convince yourself that because they're a good person the feelings will grow and you can make it work? I have. It's my opinion that there are physical, hormonal, chemical things that need to be present in order for sparks to fly. I just don't think you can make this shit up!
Next, I share a CRAZY story a guy once shared with me. He was so taken with her beauty that he wanted to show her off to her friends. In my opinion, big mistake.
The female version of the hot/emotionally unavailable matrix is laughable and definitely has some truth to it. At times, I've been guilty of being attracted to men who aren't available because I have been guarded and not ready for a relationship.
Rich, successful, men with high social status will always attract some women who are seeking security, wealth, a free ride, whatever. What's worse, a guy dating a crazy hot chick or a woman dating an old rich guy?!
Lastly, I share some of Darwin's theories on "Mate Value".
Support the show