Gay men often grapple with perfectionism, navigating societal expectations and internalized standards that can intensify the pursuit of an idealized self-image. Known as the Best Little Boy in the World archetype, some gay men overcompensate in certain aspects of their lives, such as their career, appearance, and other achievements, to deflect nega…

In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of coming out, which is a deeply personal and pivotal moment for LGBTQ+ individuals. And while living openly can empower us to be our authentic selves, a number of complex factors can keep us in the closet. In this episode, author, public speaker, and former teacher Kevin O’Connor joins us to discus…

Today, authentic LGBTQ+ representation in TV is more important than ever since it reflects the community's diverse experiences, fosters a sense of inclusivity, challenges stereotypes, and provides meaningful representation that resonates with audiences to promote understanding and acceptance. However, in recent years, we’ve seen a trend where LGBTQ…

In previous episodes, we discussed the history of gay representation in TV and film and roadblocks LGBTQ+ actors encounter in Hollywood, with gay characters continuing to be portrayed by straight actors. While representation is important, authentic LGBTQ+ portrayals in the media fosters inclusivity and visibility, helping to break down stereotypes …

From early chatrooms of the 90s to geolocation apps in the 2010s, gay men have been considered to be early adopters of online dating. While today's gay dating apps offer unprecedented convenience for gay men to connect within their community, their widespread use has brought about some negative impacts, including issues related to sexual racism, bo…

Inclusive representation in literature offers LGBTQ+ people a sense of visibility, validation, and connection as they see their experiences authentically mirrored, which fosters a more inclusive narrative for readers. While it was historically challenging to engage with LGBTQ+ literature, today’s social media communities actively promote and amplif…

The fine line between genuine kindness and people-pleasing can pose a challenge, as the latter may lead to sacrificing one's own needs, compromising authenticity, and fostering unhealthy dependencies in relationships. But gay men, in particular, tend to be influenced by societal expectations and the desire to counter stereotypes, resulting in a hig…

In today's complex and rapidly changing landscape of economic uncertainty and unexpected global events, comprehensive financial planning is more crucial yet intricate than ever. But for gay men, navigating resilient financial strategies has been historically challenging due to the economic burden of increased healthcare costs during the AIDS pandem…

The term "metrosexual" emerged in the mid-1990s, coined to describe a new wave of urban, fashion-forward men who embraced grooming, fashion, and a heightened sense of personal style, challenging traditional masculinity. However, critics argue the trend appropriates “the gay aesthetic,” reinforcing stereotypes and implying that an interest in fashio…

For years, society’s sense of body image has been negatively affected by standards that often perpetuate unrealistic ideals and contribute to the prevalence of negative body image perceptions. Some gay men grapple with an additional layer of body image issues, navigating societal expectations and stereotypes that can lead to feelings of inadequacy …

On Sunday, June 24, 1973, a gay bar in New Orleans was intentionally set ablaze, killing 32 people and injuring another 15. Fifty years later, despite ample evidence, no arrests have ever been made. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the tragic events of the UpStairs Lounge arson attack, the pervasive discrimination and homophobia evident in t…

Societal perceptions of masculinity are often rooted in traditional and restrictive norms, which can pressure gay men to conform to stereotypical ideals, leading to internalized homophobia, feelings of inadequacy, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Even within the queer community, ideals of masculinity and femininity can be at odds, creating a c…

Daddy issues is a colloquial term often used to stigmatize psychological or emotional challenges that may arise in an individual's life due to a perceived absence, neglect, or strained relationship with their father. Some gay men may experience their fathers subtly distancing themselves as a form of rejection of their sexuality, which has the poten…

Within the many letters of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, non-binary individuals embrace identities outside the traditional binary of male or female, challenging societal norms and fostering a more diverse understanding of gender. Often overlooked, non-binary visibility is crucial in dismantling stereotypes and building a more inclusive world where individua…

Gay men sometimes shift between different modes of expression, including language, behavior, or mannerisms, to navigate between their authentic identity and societal expectations or contexts related to their sexual orientation. Known as code-switching, this practice can reinforce societal norms that marginalize certain linguistic or cultural expres…

Boundaries are essential guidelines, defining the limits of acceptable behavior and establishing a framework of respect and mutual understanding. But due to societal pressures, stereotypes, and the historical stigmatization of non-heteronormative relationships, some gay men may exhibit people-pleasing tendencies, which makes it challenging to imple…

Happy Holidays, my LGBTQuties! As the end of the year approached, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead. In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episode…

As the end of the year approached, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead. In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes, exploring topics such as all…

Gay men tend to grapple with complex feelings about body image, influenced by societal ideals that often emphasize a lean and muscular physique. As a result, gay gym culture is often marked by a complex interplay of such body standards, which can both motivate and challenge individuals within the community to base their self-perception on chasing a…

The mustache has traversed centuries, evolving from a symbol of prestige in ancient civilizations to a statement of rebellion in modern counterculture movements. In the 1960s and 1970s, it became an iconic symbol within the gay community, representing a form of self-expression, solidarity, and defiance against societal norms surrounding masculinity…

Happy Halloween, my LGBTQuties! Previously, we discussed how queer themes have been depicted in horror for more than 250 years and that the genre has always been queer. In this episode, Ralph Anthony, host of the Scream Queer Podcast, joins us to dish on all things horror, determine which monsters are queer, and share a very spooky true-life horror…

Many gay men find solace and empowerment in spiritual practices like tarot, crystals, astrology, and witchcraft, as they offer a means of self-discovery and affirmation. Unlike modern organized religion, these ancient traditions provide a safe space for personal exploration, allowing individuals to connect with their inner selves and find strength …

Ghosting has become an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in today's dating culture, reflecting a shift towards digital communication and a reluctance to confront uncomfortable conversations. For gay men, this can be attributed to the influence of hookup apps, a larger pool of potential partners, and societal pressures, leading to a higher likelihoo…

Coming out is a deeply personal and pivotal moment for LGBTQ+ individuals, encompassing the courageous act of sharing their authentic identity with others, fostering self-acceptance, and seeking understanding and validation. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the concept of “coming out” and National Coming Out Day, the importanc…

Conversion therapy is a discredited and harmful practice that attempts to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity, often using psychological or religious methods, which can lead to severe emotional distress, trauma, and a negative impact on mental health and well-being. In this episode, Seth Showalter, a licensed clinical social wor…

Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use. In this episode, writer and lawyer Tate Barkley joins us to talk about his new book, Sunday Dinners, Moonshin…

Previously, we talked about how many gay men have grappled with the fear of rejection, which can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability. This can often be interconnected with trust issues, as past experiences of feeling abandoned or rejected can lead to difficulties in fully trusting others in future relationship…

The stereotype of brunch being gay has emerged as a playful nod to the LGBTQ+ community's affinity for this leisurely meal. But, upon deeper examination, the history of brunch has always been a bit controversial, breaking away from conventional standards. In this episode, we're discussing the history of brunch and why it’s become a cherished tradit…

Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use. In this episode, writer, director, and filmmaker Adam Fitzgerald joins us to talk about his new book, Recover…

Grief is frequently associated with the LGBTQ+ experience, from fearing rejection to dealing with hate and living in constant terror of being in danger. While any form of grief is both a universal and personal experience necessary to cope with loss, the complexities of queer grief can lead to isolation, mental health challenges, and the suppression…

We’ve all experienced grief, that tender ache that lingers in our hearts following a loss. While the experience of coping with loss is crucial to our emotional well-being, it is also complex since it creates an intricate landscape where sorrow, resilience, and the transformative power of healing coexist. In this episode, we’re exploring the multifa…

For decades, the phrase “That’s So Gay” has been tossed around carelessly to refer to things that are bad or undesirable. While many consider it a simple playground put down, it is actually a microaggression that perpetuates stereotypes and fosters a culture of exclusion. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the phrase “That’s So …

In the early stages of dating, it’s normal to feel butterflies and maybe even experience infatuation. But the intoxicating allure of infatuation can grip our hearts and minds, which may result in overwhelming emotions and blurring the line between reality and fantasy. In this episode, we’re unraveling the distinction between infatuation and love by…

Recently, conservatives have used the unrestricted exercise of religious freedom and freedom of speech to promote discriminatory beliefs and harmful ideologies that perpetuate prejudice and undermine the rights and dignity of LGBTQ+ people. On Friday, June 30, 2023, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the First Amendment entitles some…

While most gay dating apps aim to connect LGBTQ+ people with their community, it can still be challenging to make genuine connections which can lead to feelings of loneliness and rejection. The reality is most gay dating apps are outdated with limited features, lacking inclusivity, and they haven’t adapted to evolving user needs and preferences–unt…

Just fifty miles east of Manhattan, Fire Island has been considered a gay village since the 1950s, with the stretch of land between Fire Island Pines and Cherry Grove—known as the Meat Rack—being a safe haven for repressed gay men to fully express and experience their sexuality. In this episode, we’re diving into the island's rich history, tracing …

As gay men, we may experience complexities surrounding modern dating and societal pressures that often place unrealistic expectations of romantic and personal fulfillment. So when we think we’ve found “The One,” what do we do when they break up with us, telling us that we’re only seventy percent of what they need…while having sex? In this episode, …

In 1960s New York City, gay men needed a safe space to socialize without being arrested, which resulted in many frequenting private bottle clubs, like the Stonewall Inn, which was owned by the Mafia. On June 28, 1969, during a routine police raid, patrons were fed up and resisted. In this episode, we’re discussing the iconic Stonewall riots, which …

Many gay men were taught that religion and sexuality are at odds with one another; either you're too gay to be religious, or you're too religious to be gay. As a result, we may have experienced religious trauma, leaving us feeling alone within our faith and the LGBGTQ+ community. In this episode, Eric Feltes, actor, writer, and life coach, joins us…

During the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, 2016, a gunman entered Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and opened fire on the crowd, who was celebrating Latin Night. After more than three hours of terror, 49 lives were lost and 53 additional people were wounded. In today’s episode, we’re taking a look at the history of Pulse, the events of …

Stereotypical gay culture has idolized youth, beauty, and sex, which has resulted in the concept of Gay Death, the all-too-popular myth that gay men have aged beyond attractiveness once they turn 30. In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men fear growing older, the concept of internalized gay ageism and its negative impacts on our mental health…

Despite the letter B in LGBTQ+, many people, both within and outside of the community, tend to discount the experiences of bisexual people. This ignorance has resulted in bi-erasure, a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality is questioned or denied outright. In this episode, my friend, Sam McClain, joins us to discuss …

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than… Judy Garland. Known as the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Judy is remembered for her vaudeville roots, iconic camp perf…

Being our authentic selves can be scary since many of us fear rejection—and for good reason. Family conflict and rejection is the main cause of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, and LGBTQ+ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness compared to non-LGBTQ+ youth. In this episode, we’re discussing key drivers of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, system f…

For many gay men, we struggle with minority stress and discrimination on a daily basis. Along with childhood trauma and gay shame, this adversity causes some to turn to alcohol as a form of self-medicating. In fact, the rate of substance abuse is estimated to be between 20 to 30 percent in LGBTQ+ people compared to 9 percent for the general populat…

We’ve come a long way regarding LGBTQ+ media representation, with 92 LGBTQ+ characters appearing on scripted broadcast primetime programming for the 2021-2022 season. However, that representation falls flat when you consider the number of straight actors appearing as LGBTQ+ characters. In this episode, we’re taking a look at roadblocks LGBTQ+ actor…

We live in a time when we don’t have to be confined to standard labels regarding gender, sexuality, and even relationship types. Regardless of whether we’re monogamous or polyamorous, it’s still important to do the emotional work so we’re bringing our best selves forward into a relationship scenario. In this episode, my friend, Eric Praniewicz, joi…

In previous episodes, we talked about how gay men may struggle with perfectionism as a means to validate themselves and overcome their gay shame. As a result, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others and compete against other gay men instead of lifting our community up. In this episode, we’re talking about some of the reasons why gay men compete wi…

In past episodes, we've talked about how it can be difficult for gay men to find a network of like-minded peers and the importance of finding your community and chosen family. In this episode, my friend, Jonathan Steele, joins us to discuss how gayming provides a sense of escapism and queer representation, allowing you to be whoever you want to be,…

In 1981, reports of a “rare cancer” affecting homosexual men surfaced, which marks the start of the AIDS crisis. For years, those living with AIDS were largely neglected by the government and medical community. In this episode, we’re discussing how ACT UP formed in response to social neglect, government negligence, and the complacency of the medica…