Being the Sidepiece Should Never Be an Option

Romancipation

S2 Episode 12: Being A Sidepiece Should Never Be an Option

Episode Summary

If you are looking for a relationship, then you deserve to be the one and only focus of the person that you want. The idea that anyone should ever accept the position of a sidepiece (aka side chick or mistress) is ridiculous. Beginning or staying in a relationship where your wants and needs are not being fully met because your partner is already involved with someone else will place you in a precarious position.
When you are the sidepiece, you expose yourself to disease, manipulation and threats to your physical and emotional well-being. A partner that really loved you would never intentionally put you into such a negative position. Moreover, family and friends will judge you and your relationship.
If someone really wants you as their primary partner, they will do what it takes to make it happen. Don’t fall victim to their lies and false promises. Being a sidepiece violates every foundational concept of a healthy relationship. There is no trust, respect, empathy or accountability in a non-consensual throuple.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when your partner makes their hobbies a priority over the relationship.
Show Notes

Infidelity can’t take place unless there’s another willing party, but there’s a big difference between a person who knows they are the third-party person and the person who has absolutely no idea. If you know you’re the sidepiece, that’s a big issue. If you don’t know, you have been victimized in the same way as the partner who’s being cheated on.
It’s simply just a poor place to be. It’s an awful feeling and a bad look. And perhaps you say you didn’t know—but there were signs you chose to ignore. A lot of people who are the sidepiece justify their actions by saying they don’t owe the primary person’s partner anything. But the fact is you are knowingly harming another person. And if you put yourself in this situation, you have a low regard for your safety. If the other person finds out, something bad could happen.
If you find yourself in this situation, remember two things. First: You are always going to be the bad guy. Second: It’s important you take personal responsibility as an active participant. If the person really loved, respected, and valued you, they would make you their primary partner and not a sidepiece.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When a partner does not prioritize your relationship over their hobbies. Feeling less important makes the person feel awful and creates tension when the hobby gets in the way of chores, finances, and more. It can make you feel lonely or like you’re leading parallel lives.
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