From Pressure to Passion with Stacy McAlpine

Say YES to Your Soul

Stacy McAlpine, founder and CEO of Journey Fuel, unfolds her transformative journey from a performance-driven upbringing, dominated by societal expectations and parental pressures, to breaking free from a toxic marriage. The narrative delves into the stifling suppression of her artistic passions and the subsequent battle with self-doubt. Post-toxic relationship, Stacy shares her odyssey towards authenticity, emphasizing self-trust and fostering a positive mindset. The discussion extends to the profound impact of emotional abuse and the empowering role of awareness in overcoming challenges. Rooted in her consulting background, Stacy introduces Journey Fuel, addressing the implementation gap in personal development. The approach centers on life as a collection of feelings, encouraging focus on desired emotions for a more fulfilling existence.

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get Tessa’s Reignition Roadmap! http://www.tessafreegift.com/

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• Stacy recounts her performance-focused upbringing, shaped by societal expectations of success and parental pressure for financial achievement, suppressing her artistic side.
• Opening up about a toxic marriage, Stacy delves into the impact of a narcissistic partner and societal expectations surrounding divorce, especially its effects on children.
• Her journey towards authenticity follows her escape from a toxic relationship.
• The podcast explores the profound impact of emotional abuse, highlighting the weaponization of seemingly insignificant events.
• Stacy's post-toxic-relationship evolution involves building self-trust and adopting a positive mindset.
• The conversation with Tessa underscores the transformative power of awareness in overcoming challenges and achieving internal empowerment.
• Journey Fuel's approach advocates focusing on desired emotions for a richer life, bridging the gap between theory and practical implementation.

About Stacy McAlpine

Stacy McAlpine, founder and CEO of Journey Fuel, is a seasoned life transformation specialist with over two decades of experience. With a background in strategic advising and project/change management consulting at renowned firms like PricewaterhouseCoopers and Ernst & Young, Stacy harnessed her consulting insights to create transformative tools. Now, she empowers individuals with code-cracking methods, helping millions unlock their true potential and live lives they genuinely love waking up to.

Stacy’s Free Gift

Receive Stacy’s Free Gift here: JourneyFuel.com

Instagram: @YourJourneyFuel

YouTube: @YourJourneyFuel

Email Stacy at Connect[at]journeyfuel.com

* About the Host *

Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful Roadmap and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/

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May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Transcript

Stacy (02:19):

Thank you. I am very honored to be on this side of the microphone with you, so I'm very excited about it. Thank you.

Tessa (02:26):

You're so welcome. So, I know a lot about your story, a lot about, you know, we've known each other for a while, a number of years now, and we were chatting a little bit earlier today, you wanna share some of your personal journey around like all the, basically you were just being shut down, getting a lot of "nos" and that created a, you know, a lack of confidence in yourself and you have just turned that out in its head. So I would love for you to be able to share what some of it, some of what you went through and then how you got where you are today.

Stacy (03:13):

Absolutely. And it's so interesting because it feels like life can move so slowly, but then you look back and you're thinking, wow, that that went really fast, but it did not feel fast while I was in those moments.

Tessa (03:29):

. Exactly.

Stacy (03:31):

Which I always think it's so fascinating 'cause we think it's moving fast when we think backwards, but when we're in places that are really hard, it just feels like, like mud, you know? And is there ever gonna be an end to this? And I was in a place where, you know, I was an only child and I grew up as like the center stage of my parents' lives. Like they, it was all about me all the time, which some people could like that, but it's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of people pleasing and they only have one shot at getting it right. So, you know, it's making sure that I do everything that I'm supposed to be doing all the time.

Tessa (04:17):

So there was a lot of pressure for you. It sounds like a lot of performance stuff, like somehow, you know, being able to be successful like immediately in your life.

Stacy (04:29):

Yeah. And it was all about, you know, doing what you're supposed to do to achieve the things that are supposed to make you successful in life. Like, my dad was always convinced I needed to be in a managerial role. That's where all the money is, that's where all the power is. You don't wanna have to work for anybody else because then they'll tell you what to do and you don't make as much money. And so unless it aligned with that, it just was not something that was considered serious.

Tessa (04:57):

Hmm.

Stacy (04:58):

And, it was always, it's really interesting 'cause since then I've had lots of coaches, lots of therapy, , but most impactfully a lot of really good coaching around how to be an awareness of certain things. Like it's one thing to kind of deal with what you're in, but there's like a higher level of awareness of and of where you are within all of that. When you're in it, it just feels like you're dealing with what's around you. And it wasn't until I got more, until kind of like a level of looking down on my life externally and trying to think about like, where am I in this, you know, who am I really? And that's when I had to kind of take a step back because when I'm in it, I didn't, I don't know what the hell I was. I don't know. I just do the things that I'm supposed to do or I get in trouble and I'm always in the center stage when I was a kid, you know, if I made one wrong move, it was like glaring . It's not like you could hids behind something else.

Tessa (06:18):

Right. You weren't like in the chorus or the background. You were right there on front and center stage and everything was being picked apart.

Stacy (06:26):

Right. And so one wrong move and it was just super like, in like away every, everything would be revealed. You know? There was no just like quiet mistakes. And so, you know, when I was in that, in my childhood and growing up through that into college, you know, my state of being wasn't, it's not like I was thinking about my soul or , you know, thinking about how am I being authentic? Like at that stage in my life, that really wasn't it. It was more just making sure that I was on track to be successful. Like you said, like performance focused.

Tessa (07:08):

Yes.

Stacy (07:09):

I gotta get perfect grades. [SNIPPET] I've gotta get into the best school. I've gotta graduate with the, you know, the best degree so that I can get the best job so I can have my BMW paid in full by the time I was 35.

Tessa (07:24):

Oh my goodness. Wow.

Stacy (07:26):

Yeah. That was what I decided was my signature. You know, my proof of success was if I could pay for A BMW in cash by the time I was 35, that was what I was looking at. That was it.

Tessa (07:43):

And then you would be free of what? Like what was, what was the worst thing about being on center stage?

Stacy (07:51):

Well, I was just told that's what success is, you know? And it was all about performance.

Tessa (08:03):

So you, you had every belief, all your beliefs were that as soon as you could do that, you will have achieved everything you ever needed to do.

Stacy (08:13):

Yeah. That, that's what success in life is. It wasn't about finding your true talent, it wasn't about finding your gift inside. It wasn't about, you know, really discovering yourself. It wasn't about that at all. And anytime I tried to do things like that, 'cause I'm an artistic person, I like to draw. I was an only child so I had nothing much else to do but draw or be the teacher and the student at the same time, you know, and play. So I did a lot of things that you could do by yourself. And I loved to draw, I loved to, like recreate things by looking at them. And what was really interesting is I never would think of myself still to this day kind of feel like, well I'm not an artist because I can look at something and draw it. I can't draw, I don't draw out of my mind. Like I don't draw from scratch, so I must not be an artist. It was kind of that black and white.

Tessa (09:13):

Right? It's a minimizing of your skills.

Stacy (09:17):

Yeah. And if it's not this, it's nothing. You know, if you're not doing this then you're nothing. If you don't do this, you're not successful. And what was interesting is when I was applying to college, I only applied to three schools, which I really am ashamed that I can say out loud that I . I applied to Stanford and went to Cal. It's sort of like the worst thing you could do as a Cal person is to admit that you actually applied to Stanford . It's like a very big rivalry. But anyway, I really wanted to go to Stanford. I really just wanted to go to Stanford and UCLA and that was it. I really liked college football and they needed to have a good team and it needed to be a renowned school. That was what I wanted to do. And when I went to my teacher at the time to get arecommendation letter to Stanford, he was the one that said, I'll only write you a letter if you also apply to Cal. 'cause I was like, I don't know about Berkeley, but he was the one that opened that up to me. But my parents called it like "berserkly", you know? It's like not, it's not part of the standard thing. So it's kind of interesting that I ended up at Berkeley of all places. 'cause that would never been apparent then.

Tessa (10:26):

But in my mind, knowing you, Berkeley is like the perfect place for you.

Stacy (10:31):

No, it makes perfect sense, right?

Tessa (10:33):

Yes. Like you're such a free thinker.

Stacy (10:36):

But I never would've applied to there. Like, and I can say that with confidence, I would not have applied then.

Tessa (