Coping podcast

Coping

1
Calling Clues 18:48

for 13 dager siden18:48

18:48

This episode of "Coping" covers a discussion about discovering one's calling through three key 'calling clues.' The hosts, Kathy and Kevin, explore how these clues can help people uncover their life's purpose. The three clues discussed are Campaign (what causes people feel passionate about), Curiosity (what naturally fascinates people), and Childhood (early life indicators of calling). Kevin shares his passion for end-of-life care and palliative care, while Kathy reveals her background in education despite initial resistance. The conversation concludes with a guided meditation led by Kevin to help listeners connect with their calling. Highlights Introduction to Calling Clues Kathy introduces the episode's focus on recognizing 'calling clues' that can help discover one's purpose. She compares finding a calling to solving a mystery and announces that they will explore three specific clues. First Clue: Campaign The first clue discussed is 'Campaign' - focusing on causes or issues people feel strongly about. Kevin shares his passion for palliative care and end-of-life care, particularly regarding advanced care planning and directives. They reference Brené Brown's example of starting a global conversation about shame and resilience. Second Clue: Curiosity The discussion moves to 'Curiosity' as the second clue, examining what naturally fascinates people. They emphasize paying attention to reading choices, podcast preferences, and conversation topics as indicators. Kevin explains his curiosity about death and decision-making, while Kathy realizes her general curiosity about human behavior and decision-making. Third Clue: Childhood The final clue explores childhood indicators of calling. Kathy shares her family background in education and her initial resistance to becoming a teacher. Kevin discusses his early inclination toward priesthood. They emphasize how childhood dreams often contain profound clues about one's calling. Closing Meditation The episode concludes with Kevin leading a guided meditation designed to help listeners connect with their calling. The meditation involves visualization of a peaceful landscape and passing through a symbolic portal to gain insights about one's perfect work.…

Coping

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Blessing for When the Road is Long 1:53

for 27 dager siden1:53

1:53

Summary This bonus recording is of Kathy Young Deegan reading of 'Blessing for When the Road is Long' by Kate Bowler. It's a spiritual meditation about finding strength in moments of weakness and exhaustion. The piece incorporates biblical references from Jeremiah 6:16 and Isaiah 41, focusing on themes of spiritual guidance, divine support, and finding rest in moments of complete vulnerability. Highlights Introduction and Opening Prayer The opening sets a tone of vulnerability and spiritual seeking as Kathy Young Deegan introduces the blessing's title and author. Biblical Guidance and Blessing of Weakness Kathy recites Jeremiah 6:16, emphasizing the importance of seeking ancient paths and divine guidance. She then offers blessings for those who must acknowledge their weakness and surrender their burdens, suggesting that simply existing is enough in moments of struggle. Finding Rest in Stillness The blessing describes a profound moment of stillness that becomes a sacred space for divine presence, where rest and wholeness can be found. This section emphasizes the transformative power of complete surrender. Divine Strength in Human Weakness The reading concludes with Kathy sharing Isaiah 41's promise of divine support, highlighting the paradoxical truth that God's strength becomes most evident at the point of human weakness.…

Coping

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3 "Workviews" of Calling 17:13

for 6 weeks siden17:13

17:13

Summary This episode of "Coping" covers different ways people view work, based on Professor Amy Rizinski's research framework. Kathy and Kevin Deegan explore three primary perspectives: work as a job (focused on paycheck), work as a career (focused on advancement), and work as a calling (focused on meaning and fulfillment). The conversation delves into how societal changes have led to people seeking more purpose in their daily work activities. The speakers share personal experiences, including Kevin's journey from working at a pizza parlor to pursuing education, and Kathy's evolution from teaching to finding a greater calling. They emphasize the importance of identifying one's mindset towards work and discuss strategies for discovering one's vocation, including the need to pause and reflect. Highlights Introduction to Different Views of Work Kathy and Kevin introduce the topic of how people view work differently, highlighting three main perspectives: as a paycheck, as a career ladder to climb, or as a vocation/calling. They emphasize the importance of understanding one's view of work to determine future direction. Work as a Paycheck Perspective The discussion explores the traditional view of work as means of survival. Kevin shares personal experience working at a pizza parlor in Los Angeles while pursuing acting. They discuss how the paycheck mindset can sometimes conflict with pursuing meaningful work and how focusing solely on money can create a false sense of security. Career-Oriented Mindset The discussion continues, examining work as a career, focusing on advancement and professional growth. Kathy shares her journey through education, including obtaining a master's degree in English education and spending 15 years in the education field before seeking greater impact. Understanding Calling and Vocation The conversation explores the concept of calling, tracing its etymology to the Latin 'vocatio'. They discuss how the concept has evolved from being exclusively religious to becoming more broadly applicable, emphasizing the connection between finding one's voice and discovering one's calling. Practical Advice for Finding Your Calling The speakers provide practical guidance for discovering one's vocation, emphasizing the importance of pausing to reflect and listen to one's life. They discuss balanced approaches to career changes and conclude with Kate Bowler's blessing for when the road is long.…

Coping

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Unpacking the Myths That Keep You from Embracing Your Calling - Reflection 1:24

for 8 weeks siden1:24

1:24

Summary Kathy Young-Deegan reads John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler', which she relates to exploring the road of calling. The poem discusses the sacred nature of journeys, the importance of mindful travel, and the transformative power of new experiences. Through poetic verses, it emphasizes the significance of preparing oneself spiritually and emotionally before embarking on a journey, and the potential for personal growth and transformation that travel offers. Highlights Introduction to 'For the Traveler' Poem Kathy introduces John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler', connecting it to the exploration of personal calling. She emphasizes how the poem serves as a metaphor for spiritual and personal journeys. The Sacred Nature of Journey and Inner Preparation The poem describes how travel brings a new silence and encourages listening to one's heart. It emphasizes the sacred nature of journeys and the importance of blessing one's departure, freeing the heart from burden, and allowing the soul's compass to guide toward spiritual territories. Mindful Travel and Return The final verses focus on the importance of traveling with awareness and wisdom, making use of transformative opportunities along the way. It concludes with wishes for safe travel, meaningful experiences, and returning home enriched and better able to appreciate life's ongoing journey.…

Coping

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Unpacking the Myths That Keep You from Embracing Your Calling 15:51

for 10 weeks siden15:51

15:51

Summary This episode of "Coping" covers what a calling is, and debunks three major misconceptions about it. Kathy and Kevin discuss that calling isn't just for certain people but is universal, and it doesn't always manifest as a clear, dramatic moment. They discuss the difference between jobs (which pay bills), careers (climbing the ladder), and callings (which provide meaning and purpose). The conversation concludes with a reading of John Donahue's poem 'For the Traveler.' Highlights Introduction to Calling and Its Evolution The speakers begin by introducing the topic of calling and its importance. They establish that calling isn't static but evolves over time. Statistical evidence is presented showing the evolution of job changes: from 1-2 jobs in 1950, 4-6 in 1980, to a projected 12 jobs by 2025. Yale professor Amy Rosinski's framework is discussed, distinguishing between jobs (for paying bills), careers (ladder climbing), and callings (meaningful purpose). Myth 1: Calling is Unchanging and Linear The first myth addressed is that calling remains unchanged throughout life. Kevin emphasizes that people are called, not jobs, and that calling evolves as individuals grow. Kathy uses the metaphor of Russian stacking dolls to illustrate how calling evolves into larger versions while maintaining core identity. Parker Palmer's quote about listening to one's life is referenced to emphasize the connection between calling and identity. Myth 2: Calling is Only for Other People The second myth discusses the misconception that calling is only for special individuals. Both speakers share personal experiences: Kathy initially resisted following her family's educational legacy, while Kevin, as a chaplain, notes how people often associate calling only with religious vocations. They emphasize that everyone has a unique purpose to fulfill. Myth 3: Calling is Always Clear and Obvious The final myth addresses the misconception that calling appears as a dramatic moment of revelation. The speakers reference Bill Burnett's work on Design Your Life Thinking and discuss how calling often emerges through small moments rather than dramatic 'burning bush' experiences. They emphasize that calling develops through exploration and reflection, with Kevin introducing the concept of 'lowercase c' calling moments versus 'capital C' moments.…

Coping

for 2 years siden12:03

12:03

In this episode we talk about 4 common misconceptions about grief and explore the difference between grief & grieving. Listen in as we as we dive into this challenging topic. Whatever you may be coping with-- Blessings to you... Kathy: Hi, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Coping. On today's episode, we're starting with this question that I want to ask you first. Kevin, having worked on the front lines of grief and loss the last couple years, what's one misconception that you have learned about grief and loss? Kevin: I think a very common misconception, and one that I believed myself was that other people have it way worse than me, so my grief doesn't matter. Kathy: Yes, that's one that I've heard as well. And on today's episode, we're going to be talking about other misconceptions about grief and loss. Kevin: Let's get started. Kathy: So as we begin our conversation, I think it's important that we begin to understand the relationship between grief and grieving, because it's the way we work through these two that are very different. Those are two different things. Kevin: Yes, absolutely. I'm actually in the middle of reading a new book out called The Grieving Brain, written by Mary Francis O'Connor. And in the very intro to the book, she says this you may have noticed that I use the terms of grief and grieving. Kevin: Although you hear them used interchangeably, I make an important distinction between them. On the one hand, there is grief, the intense emotion. That crash is over. You like a wave, completely overwhelming, unable to be ignored. Grief is a moment that recurs over and over. However, these moments are distinct from what I call grieving. The word I used to refer to the process, not the moment of grief. Kathy: Such a deep explanation of a very complicated process, but it's very accessible at the same time. Kevin: Absolutely. I love the distinction between the two, that there's a difference between the experience of loss, the grief that to us, the moment, the event, and then how we participate in our grief. By grieving. By processing that grief. Kathy: Yes. And I think a lot of conversations I have with students around grief, which is that first definition is they don't understand that. And many of us didn't. I didn't. That loss comes in many forms. We often think, oh, it's the loved one, a divorce, but it's jobs, financial losses, pets, illnesses, and then something that we teach about ambiguous loss. Kevin: Yes, exactly. This term, ambiguous loss, coined by Pauline Boss, who uses this term ambiguous loss, to describe those other kinds of losses, the ones that we don't typically associate with grief and grieving and loss. And we like to say ambiguous loss is the kind of loss that doesn't have, like, a Hallmark section to send a card for condolences. Like, gosh, your car broke down and now you're having to it's in the shop. Kathy: Your car was totaled. Yeah, your car was totaled. It's not a car is totaled section of cards. My car was a loss last year. Nobody sent me a card for it. Kevin: Right. Right. Oh, your basement flooded because your pipe broke. My condolences. Sorry for your loss. There's just not a section. We don't typically associate grief to those kinds of losses, those kinds of life disruptions and challenges that we face. Kathy: And there are other misconceptions, not only about what losses, but then what we believe about grief and loss. So today we're going to discuss what we think are maybe the most four common myths. There are many more. We're just going to focus in on these myths today. So myth number one is my loss is small compared to others. Kevin: Yeah. So this is kind of what I just talked about in what I believed, that because other people have it way worse than me, somehow my grief doesn't matter or it's smaller, so I should be grieving less than somebody else. This is a myth because the reality is the worst kind of grief is your own. And we all have to deal with what we're going through in our own personal life. That creates the kind of empathy and compassion that connects us to other people in their losses. If we're only focusing on the losses that other people are dealing with and we're not dealing with our own, we don't know how to show up for them because we're not showing up for ourself. And so while perspective is helpful and gives us the ability to draw connections between our loss and other people's, that perspective should draw us to connect us to our grief and connect us to other people's grief and loss and create that sense of common humanity. But if it's the thing that's causing us to ignore our own grief or downplay our own grief, I think we're missing the mark on what the beauty of grief can be. Kathy: And that leads us to our next myth. Which is what? Kevin: Ignoring my grief will help it to lessen. Kathy: Right. And the analogy I often use, and this actually happened to me last year, was if the indicator warning lights, I had three going off on my car one afternoon after picking up kids. If I would chose to just ignore that and not go to the mechanic, how would the car be magically fixed? Right. So, same for grief. We think, oh, if we just ignore it, it will just go away. Um, but the truth is that unprocessed grief metastasizes and grows. Kevin: That's so true. I think a lot of people don't know what to do with their grief. And so they have witnessed other people in their family, their parents, people their age, just continue on with life and think that that's the way to go about soldier on. Just a soldier on. And to compartmentalize the grief. We don't have a lot of good models of grieving and not a lot of space to process that grief. And so we think that just ignoring it is a sign of strength and a sign of just pushing through and being tough. And I think this myth is exasperated by our next myth. And that myth is time heals all wounds. Meaning that if I just let enough time pass by, that I'm just going to get better magically. So I think ignoring it and thinking that time passing will make it better, kind of go together and feed each other and get people stuck in their grief. Wouldn't you agree? Kathy: Yeah, definitely. Because the issue is that time doesn't heal all wounds, but grief changes as time goes on. Grief changes as time goes on as we do. So I guess that leads us to our fourth myth. And this is this one we have grappled with forever and that's that grief is linear and happens in stages. Can you talk about that one? Especially in regards to the famous book? Kevin: Yeah. So Elizabeth Kubler Ross has this book, The Five Stages of Grief, where she describes the different experiences of grief. And one of the common misconceptions about the five stages of grief in particular is that they are stages that you go from one stage to the next. And the reality is, grief is not linear. You can go from one experience of grief to another and also be experiencing one experience of grief and another at the same exact time. And so Elizabeth Kubla Ross even described in one of her last books that it's one of her regrets of her work being misunderstood, that she never intended it to sound like they were stages that you moved through, you graduated through, on your way to acceptance, and instead that grief is much more like a roller coaster. And I often say that if you are one experience one day, another experience another day, or in one moment, you're feeling one thing and in the next moment you're feeling another, that's normal. And I'm most comfortable with folks who are moving through grief in that way. What's most concerning is if you get stuck in one experience of grief. So if you're feeling depressed all the time everywhere, or if you're feeling angry all the time everywhere, or you find yourself bargaining everywhere all the time, I'm more concerned about somebody who gets stuck in one experience of grief versus somebody who is kind of up and down all around in, like, a roller coaster type. Kathy: Well, thank you so much, Kevin. This has been an excellent discussion on grief and loss, and I know it's helped so many out there. So to end our time today, I wonder if you all can just pause and reflect with me for a few moments. If you'd like to grab a journal, you can take that time right now. Or if you just want to listen, that's all right, too. But right now, let's pause and reflect. Today we reviewed four myths of grief and loss. And I wonder which one of those resonates most with you today. Kathy: Myth number one my loss is small compared to others. My loss is small compared to others. Myth number two ignoring my grief will help it to lessen. Ignoring my grief will help it to lessen. Myth number three time heals all wounds. Time heals all wounds. And finally, myth number four grief is linear and happens in stages. Grief is linear and happens in stages. So I wonder which one resonates most with you as you have that one in your mind right now. I want you to ask yourself the second question. How will you notice this pattern of thinking this week? How will you notice this pattern of thinking this week? So please know that we are here to support you in your journey of grief, and we'd love for you to reach out if you need any support. So. Whatever you may be coping with. Blessings to you.…

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