"The office saved us" illusion [and we divorced]

Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab

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You may think diving into 'doing more' and being a 'good provider' will save you both.
It doesn't.
Key points covered include:

1. Emotional Disconnect: Highly motivated individuals often focus so much on work that they neglect the emotional connection with their partner, creating a functional but distant relationship. The speaker highlights that this emotional gap can lead to serious issues, citing research from the Gottman Institute, which shows 80% of couples who experience disconnection for over a year end in divorce.
2. Avoidance of Conflict: Many high achievers use work as a way to avoid confronting difficult situations at home. Instead of resolving conflicts, they retreat into their jobs, believing that by working hard, they are indirectly supporting their partner. However, this avoidance worsens the relationship in the long term.
3. False Sense of Stability: Success at work can create a temporary high and a sense of stability. However, this is misleading because the excitement from work isn't genuine emotional connection. Over time, the emotional distance grows, and partners may find themselves feeling like strangers to one another.
4. Long-term Consequences: Emotional distance is a major factor in the breakdown of relationships, and the speaker warns that focusing too much on the functionality of the relationship (e.g., roles like earning money or managing household tasks) without true emotional intimacy can have dire long-term effects.

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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
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