EP158 It’s OUR Problem: Overcoming Male Factor + Miscarriage, Samana’s Story

Fearlessly Fertile Podcast with Rosanne Austin

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

Facing male-factor fertility issues, trying to conceive in a pandemic, changing jobs, and a heartbreaking miscarriage, Samana could have slid into blame, negativity, and despair. Instead, she DECIDED to do something smarter for herself and her family. Learn how actively taking charge of her mindset, finding Fearlessly Fertile Community, and walking her journey in faith, […]

The post EP158 It’s OUR Problem: Overcoming Male Factor + Miscarriage, Samana’s Story appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 158. It’s our problem, overcoming male factor fertility issues and miscarriage, Samana’s story. Hey, loves. I am so excited to be here with you this week as I have the distinct honor of sharing yet another one of my miracle mama’s stories of triumph on this journey.

And what I love about being able to share these stories is it just highlights again the distinct opportunity that we have on this journey for growth, expansion, and truly becoming the moms we desire to be. This is why you hear me all the time talking about what a gift this journey is. And I know that when you’re in the middle of the shit pit, you don’t even want to hear that.

You just want your baby. And I get it. Smart, wise, conscious, and confident women seize upon the opportunity to be better at any stage, any stage, because this isn’t just about You, mama, this is about the family that you’re building and when you understand that fact, it is a hell of a lot easier to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue to move forward because you understand what’s at stake.

And when Samana shares her story and we’re just incredibly blessed to have this woman’s story, you’re going to hear how in her situation. They were facing male factor fertility issues, and she could have gone into a really dark place where she was blaming her partner. But what you’re going to hear is that Samana made the active decision to be better than that.

She really looked at their situation as being our problem and took the bull by the horns and knew that she had to start working on herself. In order to support her partner and for them to create the family that they truly desired to have and those skills and that decision paid off because there were some twists and turns on their journey that they hadn’t anticipated.

So if you are in a place where you know, you want to be better, turn this up and you’re going to hear a story of triumph that I think is going to put, it’s just going to light a fire under your ass and get you believing again. You get to decide the experience you have on this journey. And frankly, mama, your mind is either working for you or it’s working against you.

Let Samana set the example. Here’s my conversation with her. Hi.

It is so good to see you woman. Yeah. I get to see you too. It’s been a while. I know. I know. We’ll, we’ll jump right in because you’re, you got baby making going on and, and you’ve had a full day. Oh my goodness. Look at that bump. Samana. Woman. Oh my goodness. Well, why don’t you start us off love? Just tell us a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey.

We’ll start there. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, just a little bit of background on myself and my husband. So we got married pretty young. Kids weren’t really on the agenda for the first few years. We wanted to travel the world, settle in our careers. And then when I was approaching 30, we like started trying and we didn’t really think much of it.

We just thought it would just happen and it didn’t happen. So in the beginning we just kind of, you know, rolled with it. We just thought, you know, it would happen when the time comes. But then, you know, things I just found myself more and more like kind of dragged into why isn’t it happening like it started happening for my friends and you know it just felt more and more like something’s wrong or something’s off and I just kind of found myself spiraling in those thoughts.

Um, and then I kind of said to him, look, I think we should get some checkups done and at least see like if, if something’s wrong or there’s anything we can do, and he agreed to it and that was maybe like a year into our, into trying. That was, um, or no by that point was almost two years I think I can’t remember exactly but it had been a while.

And then we got checked up and yeah, the issue was with him. So there was an issue, so to speak. So he had a very low sperm count, which we found out when we went to the doctors. And, um, that they basically said, you know, you might, your chances are very slim, but you can continue, but we would recommend, um, IVF.

Not even IUI because obviously it’s low sperm count. So then we kind of had to settle with those news and kind of think about, is that something we want to do? Is that, you know, do we want to go down that route? We’d never really like thought about fertility treatment at that point. It was a lot of information.

And then we kind of settled and wanted to think about it. So a month later, we kind of decided, okay, let, you know, they can put us on the wait list. Let’s see what happens. And then March, 2020, obviously COVID hit. So even though we were on the wait list, like everything was dragged way, way behind the schedule, we continue trying naturally.

And yeah, I think when everything got canceled and like my chance for treatment was kind of removed, I was like, what’s going on? Like time’s passing and I don’t even know, I don’t have a solution. I don’t know what to do. And I think that’s when I really realized I need to do something about this. And I realized how I, like, got into anxiety and constant, like, negativity.

And I wasn’t myself anymore. Like, it was, I was literally defined by this one thing. And yeah, I just felt like, look, I really want to be a mom. And all my friends, like, were having babies or getting pregnant. I removed myself from them. I felt super disconnected. And yeah, I think I discovered your book that summer and I read it and you know, it was so eye opening and yeah, I started, you know, introducing some of these practices and just realizing, look, a lot of it is to do with how, you know, like you portray yourself, how you see yourself, you know, I never really fully visualize myself as a mom or what that mean would mean to me, how I would feel, you know, all of these emotions, feelings and reasons and kind of, you know, values.

You talk a lot about values. Yeah. Yeah. All of that kind of like I tried to immerse myself in it started. Um, so I do a lot of yoga anyway in my normal daily practice. So I started incorporating more meditative time, more self care, like things like that. And it did help. I find kind of found a route back to myself.

But then when I realized and I started listening to your podcast and all these lovely women, I started listening to all these stories and then I realized, look, I’ve done what I could buy. I really want to like. Ditch the DIY. I want to get help. Like, so that’s when, um, that’s actually the second time our treatment was cancer when I really hit, hit rock bottom, that was in this like second crazy wave, um, I think it was December time and I applied for your program and I got in and yeah, I just started a year ago actually with your program.

And yeah, I think that’s when I realized I want to actually, you know, be part of this community. And I think the first question I asked you is like, look, I’ve really distanced myself from all my friends. Sorry. How can I really speak to them again? How can I receive from them? And, you know, we started talking about gratitude.

And I kind of thought, you know, actually I am super grateful that I have them. I love my friends and I started reaching out to them again and just learning from them, they had just either were pregnant or were just new moms. So instead of like distancing myself, I really use them as a tool to help me to understand what that means, you know, what that journey means, what I’ve got ahead of me rather than kind of hiding.

And it kind of opened up all of these emotions. And yeah, I was super happy that I kind of crossed that bridge. So that was kind of the first, the first step. And, um, yeah, I think the second thing then really was to just work on myself, really like the gratitude. Faith was a big topic. Like I constantly always thought there’s an issue.

We can’t fix the issue. Like always kind of thinking black and white thinking. So yeah, that’s when the faith thing come, it came in and just really believing in, you’ve got to believe in what you really, you know, that, that this is going to happen, my baby’s on its way. And, you know, starting to visualize this and acting like, you know, I am a mom to be, which before I had never even thought about doing, it was literally just like, look, I want this, this is my dream, but I hadn’t really like actively done anything about it, you know, like in terms of mentally.

You know, preparing myself, isn’t that an interesting point, though? I mean, I love the way you’re starting us off, Samana, because it’s really easy. I want to go back to something that you had said, because I think it’s really powerful. And you had said, you know, there was a problem with your partner. Yeah.

And it would have been really easy for you. To go into blame saying this is not my problem. This is his like you did something really wise that I want to make sure we point out and and maybe I’m not sure how much you’ve thought about this, but it takes a lot of guts and it takes some emotional maturity and responsibility to be able to say this is our problem and I’m going to look at myself.

Not just by my partner. Like, do you get how powerful that was and what a masterstroke that was? Yeah, I had never actually, you know, said anything to him about that. For me, it was like, we’re a team, you know, we can, we can make this work. And, but when I started realizing that I’m the one with the negativity, I’m the one who’s spiraling, like I had to take action.

Like he was always the person who was like, look, we maybe, you know, things will settle. We can’t, you know, we live in a pandemic, you can’t do anything about it, but you know, we will get there. And he was super supportive. And, you know, it was just that energy from him. It just really helped me like stay calm, stay focused.

And not, you know, like go back and into a blame game or like thinking about, look, you know, we wouldn’t be in a position, this position because I only want to have a baby with him. So, you know,

well, I mean, but I think that’s a re it’s just such a powerful thing. The level of self awareness you had to have. In order to take that responsibility, not just be lazy mentally and and just pass it off to him. I mean, you, you really took the time to be able to say, I’m going to try this stuff out on my own and then all and then also get to the point where you knew that you wanted more.

You knew you wanted to go deeper. You knew you wanted help. That takes some courage, Samana. Yeah, and you talk a lot about this. Like, I just, I think the podcast, they really like kind of psyched me for everything, but they just really helped me to see, look, there’s, it’s not good enough to just think or hope.

You need to know, there needs to be a sense of knowing that something’s changing, something’s happening, you’re doing something about it. You know, you’re changing. You’re changing, yeah, your mindset effectively. So yeah, when I started looking at your teachings and, and, and everything on the podcast and the book was always about, look, you know, you can, you can make a decision and you can actually make the change.

So I think that’s when I realized, look, I actually, It is really, why not ask for help because actually all these women are going through the same and I, I won’t feel isolated and alone anymore, you know, it’s going to help me. Yeah. And I know there’s going to be so many women’s super psyched to see you here, you know, there’s a funny thing when a woman says I’m getting on that podcast.

She has a funny way of making it happen. Isn’t that crazy? It is. And I was always like one day, one day I’ll have this interview. Yeah. And here you are. Well, you know, a year later. So, well, so let’s talk about what was next for you. So you started the program, you were learning amazing things. You were surrounded by extraordinary women and you had that community.

So what was next for you in the journey? Yeah. So basically, um, when I finished the program about just before I finished, um, about a few weeks before we had that magical phone call, look, our treatments are resuming and your next, we know we realize you were canceled twice your next in line. So just whenever your period starts, just give us a ring and I think just like, I think my last session with you was just before my egg collection.

And you know, I was super excited. I was like, look, I actually was the way I approached the treatment was completely different. Like I didn’t think about, Oh, this is the solution or whatever. Like this, it was like, I’m actively doing something, but I’m also, I also realized that it’s not up to me. It’s not my timing.

It’s not up to me. I just, I can do, you know, I can just prepare myself mentally and think about. You know, this is, this could be my time and prepare myself for that. And when I was doing the injections, when I go, I was going through my treatment plan, I was just happy. I was just like excited. And, you know, like I was just looking forward to like the next step and what’s going to happen and just went into it with an open mind.

Like I always said that to my husband as well, like I’m not desperate, like it’s not a place of desperation. We’re trying and this is one method of trying. So yeah, so when we then had the eggs retrieved, we had really good results from the eggs. We always knew like my fertility was good, but we had an issue with my partner.

So then when we had the results back from the fertilization, only three fertilized. So then obviously like we were a bit surprised because there were a lot of eggs, but there wasn’t a lot of fertilized embryos. So then we were a bit like, okay, we have to wait till the magical day five, see how many survive.

What, what are the chances? And then I remember my husband being like, look, if there’s even one, that’s a shot, right? You know, like it’s the first time we’re doing it. And that just really helped me like change. You know, not having an expectation just really helped because it’s the first time doing something and you just don’t really know what to expect.

So yeah, then actually two out of the three made it. So, which was super rare, like, you know, like three and normally could have been one that only survived or even survive will survive the thawing process. Because of my hormone profile, they did a freeze or they couldn’t do a fresh cycle. They didn’t want to hyper stimulate me.

They wanted to be take things really easy. So we knew that we would have to wait like a couple of months till we could actually do the transfer so I could kind of go back into my routine and think about other things. So we knew that we had to attempt basically from our first cycle and I was just in the middle of changing jobs and I remember changing and mentioning it to you and you were like, Oh, this is really exciting.

It doesn’t. You know, even if you go on maternity leave, it doesn’t matter. Like, you know, this life happens, you know, people will accept it. And that also helped me like, you know, making changes in my career. And I had started that job. I was about to go into like a month or so later going into my transfer.

Um, and I started that job and absolutely hated it. It just really wasn’t for me. Like it was, so I work in digital marketing and this was a healthcare job and healthcare is like really, really backwards. And thanks to COVID it had advanced a lot, but I was literally like feeling, I’m not being challenged.

Like I can’t find myself here. And normally I would never do this. I stuck it out for a bit. And then I realized one of, again, thanks to your programs, like, you know, you’ve got to make a decision. Like if you, something’s not right, if something doesn’t feel right, you know, you can make a change. And then, you know, in the summer, like I also changed my job again, twice in a year, which is crazy.

Never done that before. Yeah. But you got fearless Samara. Yeah, you weren’t going to let any moss grow on you like you were going for something you really wanted exactly, but I didn’t want to change too fast because I knew I was going through this treatment. I was kind of comfortable, so I kind of let things slide at the time in March, April time.

So when it came to the transfer, which was end of May. We did the transfer. Um, you know, and then suddenly, like everything it was. It was the time when it would be a yes or no. And I think that’s when I started trying to keep being control. Like I was constantly thinking about it. Googling like looking things, looking up things on the Internet just really didn’t help me.

And it just at some point I had to just You know, I knew it was a two week wait. It’s a long time, but I wasn’t really doing anything that was helping me energetically. I was just constantly trying to find information or anything like being in control effectively. And I don’t know, I just kind of lost myself a little bit.

I thought maybe, you know, I had an open mind before and I was not, I’m now kind of going a bit backwards. I don’t know what to expect. I think it was the anxiety of, you know, now the decision will be made. Has it worked or not? And I think that really took its toll on me. Um, and I did kind of realize that as soon as I got to the test result, um, but I still felt positive.

I think, you know, there is a chance. And then the test actually came back positive and I was really surprised. I was really surprised. And then they said, look, we need to take your bloods. We’ll come back to you. And then when they took the bloods, like HCG started dropping, like from like the few days after, and they were like, look, it’s not in our eyes.

It’s not going to be successful. So, you know, it’s like an early miscarriage. We don’t know when it will happen. And yeah, that was a major setback for me. Like, I never thought that would happen. I just thought it’s either a yes or a no. Like you don’t really think you’re going to be in between and you’re back to square one and that was a major setback and then I had like this ongoing issues with my job and I thought because of the treatment I didn’t do anything about it.

And then I thought, you know, whatever happens will happen I just have to see this through now, but then they didn’t put us like they didn’t give us a new doctor’s appointment. It’s like eight weeks to your next doctor’s appointment or something, because they want you to kind of process it or something.

But I didn’t want to take that as an answer. So I just kind of advocated for myself and I had to say, look, um, you know, this is not what I expected. I was canceled twice before I really need to speak to someone, understand what happened, because, you know, in my view, there was a positive test and not suddenly like.

This happened and I don’t know why, and I don’t know what I can do about it. I’m not getting emotional support or anything. So then they gave me counseling, which helped. And also finally spoke to a doctor two weeks later, which was great. And he basically talked about like progesterone, like because of hormone levels, you know, he would actually advise me to take additional injectables next time, because that can really lead to early bleeding.

So I kind of felt like, look, medically. There is an answer, but also I need to, again, go back to all the teachings I had from the program and really, really let faith, like, you know, is it going to be this time or not, like, really be in that open mind, similar space to what I was when we had the egg retrieval.

Um, so then I actively Just wanted to kind of take a few weeks off the treatment. I just didn’t want to think about the treatment. Obviously, I could have gone into the next cycle, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to sort my job situation. And also, I just wanted to kind of have a break. Like I didn’t want to constantly think about next cycle, next cycle.

So, and I knew it was our last embryo from this treatment cycle. So then I took it a bit easy. I just, you know, focused on my work. I randomly then had someone reach out to me and say, look, you know, we actually have a role that you might be interested in, like a friend of mine. And she referred me, I went through a series, I think it was six interviews or something.

Six interviews? Yeah, including a case study presentation, like it was super long, but I got, I got the offer and I remember that was in, um, August and they had said that they’ve put us into the, like the September cycle, but I can confirm. And I was like, no, I’m going to go for both. I’m going to go for the job and I’m going to go for the trans, so I’m not going to wait anymore.

Like, I feel like I’m in a good head space. Like I can do this. And then we went into it and this time around, and I was also in touch with another lit in one of our ladies, Maria from the program, because I had just seen mama Maria, baby boy. Um, but yeah, I saw her like 20 week, um, picture in your profile and then I reached out to her and she’s like, Oh, of course I re I remember you know, how things, and I just told her a bit about my story.

And hers was a little bit similar that she had the first successful, but then not successful transfer and all of that. So we were just kind of talking and, um, I was like, Oh, did you do anything different the second time? And all she said to me is just be you. And I just remember that. And I was like, yeah, exactly.

You know, I need to like, let go of like trying to be in control. Like I didn’t, I literally made a commitment to myself. I’m not going to go on the internet, find any symptoms or anything like that. I’m just gonna have the transfer and be myself. And I had just signed up to a new gym because I was on my notice period, so I had lots of free time.

So I just did all the crazy classes like aerial yoga and whatnot. So I just kind of enjoyed myself, met lots of friends, like just had something to look forward to every single day in the two week wait. And one of the things as I was leaving, actually, when we had the transfer, and I was leaving the room because my husband couldn’t be there because of COVID, he could only wait.

But when I came out and one of the doctors, she said, Oh, this was all perfect transfer. Like, you know, everything looks great, you know, good luck. And I had never ever before anyone comment on like a potential outcome. And for me, like, that was just like, so nice to have someone, you know, like share an emotion and.

I don’t know suddenly just made me feel really good and positive and it’s like you know when someone supports you and like what we talk about and like a bum squad and all of that so I felt I really supported and when I was leaving I kind of had this feeling even though obviously you’re not not going to feel anything it’s going to take two weeks but I just had a feeling everything’s going to be okay.

And whatever happens, I’m going to, I’m going to be a mom, whatever happens, if it’s this one or not, like, and I’m going to have a healthy baby. And I just had this really strong, warm feeling. And that made, I just felt okay. Like I just didn’t, you know, I didn’t feel the need to research anything or look anywhere or just, you know, wanted to enjoy myself.

And in order to make it more bearable, I just planned like a nice activity for every day. So it wouldn’t really think about it. And, you know, just. And also I took a learning from my previous one to take the day of getting my results off because I think it’s the worst thing when you get your results and you’re at work.

Yeah. So I took that day off, uh, smart move, I think on my behalf. Yes. And then, um, I went in for the bloods two weeks later. I didn’t take a urine test before because I didn’t want to. Last time I did a test that early on day 10, and it obviously like didn’t work out. So I was like, look, I’m literally just gonna hear it on the phone call.

I just don’t want to do a test. And then, yeah, they called me back and it was a positive result. And yeah, HCD looked great. And they were, they congratulated me. And I was just like, wow, this is amazing. I couldn’t really believe it. I just really couldn’t believe it. I remember being so surprised, but also so grateful and so happy.

Like I had lots of emotions and yeah, then yeah, and my husband was next to me. He’s like, what did they say? What did they say? And yeah, I just shared the news and then we just took it easy because of the previous story and everything. I just wanted to make sure, you know, I, you know, I’m just going to enjoy this for now, whatever it is, however long it lasts and try and feel a connection.

So I continued everything from the program like my morning. meditation, just being more mindful. One of the things you also talk about is like being present. So like being more mindful when you’re like out and talking to people, like, you know, when you feel things, letting, actually feeling them, not stopping you from feeling things.

So I think for me, I’m like super rational person. So that was a big shift and yeah, and. Yeah, I think I messaged you when I was about 12 weeks or 14 weeks or something. So yeah, it’s going really well this time around and yeah. How far along are you today? Almost 22. Oh my goodness. Oh man, Samantha. Well, so let’s talk about this because You are really demonstrating the power of staying consistent and going back and, and, and really taking charge because this second round.

You also made a decision that you weren’t going to slip into the crazy that you were going to be present. You were going to really let go of all. Yeah, exactly. Just, you know, let whatever, you know, just let the universe decide what’s going to happen. Like I’m not going to influence anything. That was always my, that was my mentality the second time around.

That’s like the holy grail. Like, that’s like, I mean, that’s like everyone is trying to get to that place. So what was that? I mean, what was important to you about that? Because a lot of people talk about wanting to get to that place, But very few have the courage to actually do that. Tell me why, or tell us actually, why that made a difference.

I think it’s the feeling. Like, when you, when you’re trying to be in control, you know, like after my first one, um, when you’re trying to constantly test or check or, you know, find out anything, like research, It’s just going to fuel your anxiety. You’re just going to feel less sure about what’s going on.

You’re going to, you can’t influence it either way. Like, and I remember one of my nurses saying like, after transfer, she’s like, Oh, if it was that easy to decide whether you’re pregnant or not, like what teenage girls who don’t want a baby, wouldn’t they just do a couple of backflips and then they’re not pregnant anymore.

You know what I mean? Like, it’s like, it’s, you can’t decide, like you can’t possibly do anything wrong. It’s not in your power. It’s just up to the baby. It’s. You know, up to a higher power if it’s, if this is the time, if this baby wants to settle or not. And that’s such a huge difference to mana, like from the gripping and, you know, the, the freak out and the stress.

I mean, I love that you and Mario were chatting because that’s exactly what she did too. Yeah. Exactly. And I think when I actually did let go and made the active decision, really stayed away from any of that crazy. I just felt good. I felt at peace. I felt like, look, whatever happens, I’ll be that, you know, it will happen.

Whatever, you know, I just don’t know the time. This could be my time, but it couldn’t, you know, but either way I’m, I’m going to just focus on myself, my happiness. And just seeing it as a journey, not like, Oh, this is the solution. Like either it’s a yes or a no. You know, like, I think that’s really, that really narrows our thinking and it makes us kind of, it’s a step backwards.

At least it was for me. And by letting go, by feeling like, you know, I’m being myself and this is exactly how I’m going to be with my baby, you know, when they eventually turn up. So it made me feel closer to that. It made me feel closer to my dream and knowing a sense of knowing And, you know, trust. I think we talk a lot about trust.

Um, it was also one of my values to really trust my body, trust my baby. I think I just, yeah, the feeling was completely different. And my husband was saying as well, it’s like, oh, are you not thinking about whether it’s positive or not? And I was like, no, I’m not. I just want to, you know, obviously it’s somewhere there.

There will be an answer either way, but I just want to feel at ease. I just don’t want to stress myself anymore. Isn’t that a dramatic change? Like, I remember the very first conversation that we had, like, and then there’s, there was that Samana, and then there’s Samana that, that we have here today, and then, and went through her last cycle, like, completely fearless, and in a completely different way.

I mean, that is a dramatic shift. Yeah. I mean, if I think about it, the odds really weren’t in our favor. Like that second embryo was classed like a low grade embryo, whatever they call it. But I didn’t think about it. I don’t care what you call it for me. It’s a chance to have a baby and it is actually a baby for me.

So even if you call it lower quality or, you know, even if you say it’s just one more, you know, I just didn’t really care about any of that anymore. I just wanted to see, you know, either this is my short or it isn’t. Wow. You know, that’s such a, that’s such a huge point too. I love that. I love that you trusted your baby so much that you were not going to let somebody call it a low quality embryo.

That just brings the humanity back though. Isn’t, I mean, it, don’t you think that’s such a powerful thing? Like don’t call this, you know, low quality. This is my baby. Right. Yeah, I just didn’t want to take no for an answer anymore from them. Like, oh, you know, we, we, we don’t know if it’s going to work. You know, we can only try like things like that.

And I just didn’t really care about that. I just, you know, for me it wasn’t, yeah. Wow. I mean, when I think about how much you changed, I mean, this all happened in a year, Simona. Yeah. If you think about it, I just, yeah, I finished in March. Yeah. And I’m going to have my baby in May. So it’s just crazy. So, you know, and, and you did, I mean, you were always there doing the work, you did your work, you showed up to the calls, you were an active participant, you know, you made friends, you had community around you.

You always, you know, you kept things up, you know, you had a little setback, but what did you do? You went back to the lesson and you went back to the tools and look at where you’re at today. Yeah, I remember messaging you about it. And that’s what you said as well. You said, look, use your tools. This is a huge sign.

Like this baby is giving you a huge sign. And you know, my test could have been straight negative, right? Like I just, you know, I never thought about it that way. And then, you know, when we, when I had that exchange with you, it just made me realize, look, This is a journey. Like it’s not, yes, I did the program, but the, the learnings happen every day.

The, you know, the changes that you see for yourself, you need to constantly keep working on yourself. It doesn’t just stop. Like even now, even now that I’m pregnant, like I still have some anxiety, like I worry a lot and. I just have to keep trusting. I just have to, you know, realize, look, everything’s going to be okay.

Like, you know, I trust myself. I trust my baby. And, you know, I’m going to have this baby. So I just made this decision and I constantly like remind myself, like that in a playlist that we talk about in the program. I, I still use the tools to this day. It’s kind of, it’s just become, um, yeah, it’s a routine for me.

I just don’t really think about it anymore. You keep hammering on the decision. Yeah. I mean, like clearly you were listening because I mean, it’s such a big deal to decide I’m going to be successful, whether it is this cycle. A few down the road, I’m not leaving without my baby. I’ve made the decision that I’m going to be a mother.

I mean, that’s, I love that that’s in you because that’s going to serve you for the rest of your life. If anything, I’m always like, Oh, I’m going to claim this for me. No one can take it from me. That’s right. No, one’s getting in mama Samana’s way. Well, so, so I mean, based on all of this and, and clearly in the success that you created for yourself, what would you want the women listening to know?

Like, remember back to when you were listening to this podcast and, you know, women were giving their two cents and, and there are, you know, hard one wisdom here. Like, what would you want the ladies listening to know to actually, the first thing would be to really think about the dream, this dream that they have, like to be a mom for me.

I never really felt it, you know, like really immersed myself in it, you know, visualized it, or, you know, when to. buy baby clothes and see how it made me feel or, you know, things like that to actually not just think about, I want to be a mom. What does that mean for you? How do you feel when you think about, you know, holding your baby, like all of those things.

So first, that would be my first thing to remember. And the second one is. That it’s about growth, like we don’t just complete the program and, you know, we fall pregnant. Like it’s not about that, it’s about learning from, from your, from your past mistakes, maybe, but also about, you know, constantly making changes, like thinking about it as Yes, it is a journey and I know what the result is because I will be successful, but I just don’t know when, and, you know, constantly working on yourself and really believing it.

I think it’s easier said than done when we say, I really believe I’m going to be a mom, but you actually really need to believe it. And there’s different tools to, to practice that. But I think, yeah, those two things I would, I would share. Yeah. And that’s so good because, you know, I, I love that you’re, you’re basically advocating that, you know, look, this isn’t destination thinking, this is a process.

And I love that you’re also highlighting that, look, it doesn’t just stop when you get pregnant, you’ve got 40 full weeks of pregnancy to go. You know, you use your tools throughout that. The, the point is, is to get and stay pregnant and support a healthy pregnancy. And, and that’s exactly what you’re doing now.

Yeah. And, and when I started learning a lot more about like, you know, the connection with myself and the baby, like every thought that I have, every feeling I have like really transfers to the baby. So like, it’s really good to, you know, keep up your affirmations to really have those, the same feelings and, you know, meditation you were doing before it can, can only serve you.

And your baby. So yeah, I would really recommend continuing with all of that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Samana. I mean, this is just, it’s incredible to see as an observer, the transformation of, you know, who you were and then who you have become and are becoming, because think about what you’re going to be able to teach your baby.

Like you’re going to be able to model this. Yeah. I mean, you’re going to be able to teach them so much about themselves and not taking no for an answer because you don’t take no for an answer. Yeah, I think there’s just, I think it’s just teachings for life, really. Like, I’m just so, so grateful for having found you, having done the program.

Like, it just was amazing and it just really changed my perspective on so many things. And just, Yeah, it taught me lessons for life, really. So I just want to thank you as well for all the support and even like beyond completing the program and everything you do for us, the podcast, I still listen to it.

Um, so yeah, just really happy. Oh my gosh. It’s my honor. And you know, and I just love seeing my ladies, not just having babies. But creating amazing careers and applying this all over their lives, because there is something to becoming fearless, you know, not just on this journey, but across the board in your life.

So thank you for being such a shiny example of that. Samantha, this is, it’s such a pleasure. And the fact that we’re having this day, it’s just, I won’t be able to wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day. So thank you so much. Loves, didn’t you just fall in love with Samana? Oh, I could just carry that woman around.

Like, I could shrink her and put her in my pocket and carry her around all day. I hope you’re starting to see a pattern. If you’ve been listening to my podcast for long enough, you’re gonna see a common theme with all of the women that show up making their dreams come true. So big hearted, so committed, and so willing to take responsibility for the trajectory of their journey.

Just like Samana did. Can you see why the, I mean, I hate to say it, but sometimes my work doesn’t actually feel like work. It feels like one hell of a blessing. And I hope that Simana’s generosity in, in sharing her story and, and the story of her transformation is going to bless you today. Because love, here’s the deal.

You really do get to decide what your experience is going to be on this journey. You have the power to pull yourself out of the shit pit, to start making choices from a place Of empowerment, not fear, and to really create a situation where you do not have to regret anything that you experience on this journey.

In fact, you can find yourself in a place saying, this is the best damn thing that ever happened to my life because you know what? Not only did it bring my baby to me, but it gave me a life of empowerment, a life of fearlessness. And I have now living proof that when I put my mind to something, I can actually have it.

And if you want to learn what I taught Samana, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women just like Samana who are committed to success.

No excuses to apply for your interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. 12 in less than two months at the beginning of this year. Their results, as you can see, speak for themselves.

If you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. You have the power, mama. You get to decide. Decide to be fearless. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying, Hell yes!