You Don’t Need Anyone’s Validation But Your Own!

Jo & JJ Go Mental

In today’s world of everyone posting their Hollywood reel on their IG and Facebook, it’s easy to be bombarded with the feeling of comparison and wondering if you measure up or are good enough. This week, we talk about looking inside ourselves for validation and confidence rather than needing to get it from the outside world. We talk about the cost of constant comparison, why women are set up by society to feel catty and competitive, and why connection and belonging doesn’t start with flaunting your latest purchase. We give practical tips on how to start feeling secure from within and building self love that will in turn let others in to see who we really are.

Takeaway:

[3:34] Perfectionism is the new form of heroin, not heroism! It is a drug, and one way people try and get their fix is both by trying to show how perfect their life is through social media, and by comparing themselves to how much better or worse they are than others. The first step to responsible social media usage is knowing that most of what people post is curated with this in mind, and not the messy and authentic reality of life.

[5:19] There is enough success to go around, so we don’t need to be desperate about success. The idea that we have to be scrappy and claw our way to the top is bred from a patriarchal society. The beauty industry is just one of many examples where the industry thrives off people not feeling good enough. Think about how many businesses would go bankrupt if we actually liked the way we looked!

[7:28] We would have been your favorite witches, burned at the stake for having our own opinions and ideas! The feeling of wanting to belong and be accepted not only comes from advertising and our upbringing, but also is thread into society as a survival mechanism.

[8:12] We think internal validation is extremely difficult, but really it’s just that we are not taught how to do it. When we start to name our emotions, we shift from external to internal validation and get a stronger sense of who we are and what we are feeling.

[9:15] When you are able to validate yourself, you cling less to the opinions of others. You work with your higher powers and get stronger, resilient, and more confident.

[17:05] The more you can give yourself internal validation, the less you fear rejection and judgement from others. It’s liberating and frees you up more energy and space to live your authentic life.

[21:59] Internal validation is especially important in dating, as it can be challenging for people to feel good enough to stay single until someone worthy shows up.

[24:42] The body speaks to us about our negative emotions, and feeling unworthy can show up as many different feelings or symptoms with our body. The first step is raising awareness of our own emotional experience.

Connect With Us:

Joanna Denton | Dr. JJ Kelly

Resources

Brene Brown

Brene’s book about belonging is called Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to stand alone

George Michael “Freedom”