90. Helping Kids Pause and Think Before Acting

Kids with Big Emotions Formerly Calm Nights, Strong Days

In this episode of the Kids with Big Emotions podcast, we dive into the world of impulsivity and explore strategies to help kids pause, reflect, and make thoughtful decisions. If your child often acts without thinking, struggles to stop themselves, or faces social and emotional challenges due to impulsivity, this episode is for you.

Learn why impulsivity happens, the foundational skills kids need to develop inhibition, and practical steps you can take to support them in creating that all-important pause before they act.

Key Takeaways:

• What is Inhibition? Inhibition is the ability to pause and think before acting on impulse. It helps kids (and adults!) avoid blurting out, interrupting, or reacting emotionally without considering the consequences.
• What Impacts Impulsivity? Impulsivity can stem from an underdeveloped executive functioning system. Kids need attention, perception, and working memory to stop and think before acting.
• Why "Just Stop!" Doesn't Work: Simply telling kids to stop isn't enough. They need help learning how to pause, reflect, and process the situation.
• Practical Strategies: Teaching kids to use alarms, create plans, and break tasks into steps can build their inhibition skills over time.
• Understand the Whiteboard Effect: When kids’ brains are overloaded with distractions, emotions, and external stimuli, their ability to pause is diminished. Reducing this "whiteboard clutter" is key to helping them focus.

Episode Highlights:

[00:00:00] Introduction: Recognizing impulsivity in kids and how it shows up in daily life (e.g., blurting out, hitting, or struggling to wait their turn).

[00:02:00] What is Inhibition? The ability to pause and think before acting—and why it’s crucial for social and emotional development.

[00:04:00] The Building Blocks of Inhibition: How skills like attention, perception, and working memory play a role in self-control.

[00:08:00] The Impact of Overload: Why kids struggle more with impulsivity when their executive functioning system is taxed (e.g., after a late night or an overstimulating event).

[00:10:00] The Whiteboard Effect: How distractions, emotions, and screens overload a child’s mental "whiteboard," making it harder for them to pause and think.

[00:16:00] Why Screens Make Impulsivity Worse: The high working memory demands of screens and how they pull kids’ attention away from what they should be doing.

[00:18:00] Creating Space to Pause: How to teach kids to stop and reflect before acting, and why this skill builds healthier relationships and better emotional regulation.

[00:22:00] Strategies That Work: Practical tips for helping kids navigate impulsivity, including alarms, breathing exercises, and step-by-step plans.

[00:30:00] The Power of Individualized Plans: Why each child’s inhibition strategies need to match their unique executive functioning profile.

[00:34:00] Long-Term Growth: Understanding how inhibition develops over time and why challenges may resurface during different life stages.

Resources Mentioned:

• Inhibition Intake Form: A detailed self-assessment tool to help parents identify their child’s challenges and strengths in inhibition. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZqpIgPgFXB_V8_1NGsiClJ6O2GAHb5jXdJNzSxg-yY/edit?usp=sharing
• Support Circle Membership: Gain access to personalized frameworks, live Q&A calls, and resources to better support your child’s growth. https://andiclark.com/work-with-me/

Join the Conversation:

Have you noticed impulsivity challenges with your child? What strategies have worked for you? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on social media—we’d love to hear your story!

And if you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe to the Kids with Big Emotions podcast and leave a review. Let’s help more families navigate these challenges together!

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.com/work-with-me/

Intake Form: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hZqpIgPgFXB_V8_1NGsiClJ6O2GAHb5jXdJNzSxg-yY/edit?usp=sharing