Ricki Goldstein of Sterling Care Joins Time To Talk With Jen

Time to Talk with Jen Graziano

(2) Ricki Goldstein of Sterling Care Joins Time To Talk With Jen - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_aX6Z2CSSE
Transcript:
(00:00) Jennifer is here to discuss a sensitive subject we all need to talk and think about here now is Jennifer Graziano and time to talk good morning Westchester it's 9 A.M on Monday and that means it's time to talk with me Jen Graziano I'm a licensed funeral director who oversees my family's funeral homes Cox and Graziano have both Mamaroneck and Greenwich and the Zion Memorial Chapel of Westchester every Monday I come to you discussing important topics and sensitive matters that all of us need to pause and reflect upon at some point and
(00:33) through this show I hope to provide the platform to do so if you're joining us on this beautiful Monday on wvox the Whitney Global Media Station we'll take questions comments and calls to 914-636-0110 and good morning to all in the control room led by none other than Vinnie and good morning Facebook live viewers happy to have you join us this morning Tim judge greenwichlocal.com
(00:58) com man behind the camera so I I'm joined by a very interesting guest as always today quite unique in her background she is an attorney turned nurse which I think attorney funeral director is a little unconventional but I think she's got me beat on that um but a wonderful resource discussing aging issues I had the privilege of working with her last week in an event and she's the administrator of Sterling Home Care Ricky Goldstein joins us on the line good morning Ricky good morning Jim nice to be here wonderful to chat with you on this
(01:34) Monday um I I do want to talk about that interesting career pivot you have a very interesting background can you tell our listeners and viewers a bit about yourself absolutely I love when I meet hybrids I mean I consider you a hybrid as well and I think it's fantastic I think it's wonderful these days that you're not stuck in a certain career path like way back when you know my parents were born knowing they wanted to be doctors in this day and age you can reinvent yourself and I and I love that I love that you're
(02:09) not trapped in a certain career path so um I am a practicing attorney for many many years and I was a criminal prosecutor both for Lauderdale yeah yep so not not even you know like a med mail attorney you really this is a full pivot this was a 180. interesting yeah okay so criminal prosecutor for Lauderdale keep going Fort Lauderdale Florida and then I moved up to Connecticut and I was the domestic violence prosecutor in Norwalk for quite a while and um you know there's lots of you know um brutality and uh with the territory
(03:01) of domestic violence comes wounds bruises scrapes Cuts Etc now my parents are doctors and I was raised in a very medical oriented family my grandfather was a doctor my grandmother was a nurse and when I was a little girl I used to press flowers in medical books so none of the the blood the guts the gore ever bothered me at the dinner table my parents would be discussing my mom is a vascular surgeon okay my dad was a pulmonologist and they would discuss literally you know different scenarios different cases and
(03:39) the kids would participate there's somewhat eclectic uh brilliant professors and so it was a little bit of a different upbringing so I did have my feet in the medical world all the time from my home life and so when the victims would come in and I'd prep them for trial I would meet with them um I would notice their bruises their wounds and one particular victim who who I adored um she had 52 stitches across her face from being beat up from her her husband multiple times and it was awful it was awful and trying to
(04:25) negotiate um you know she was African-American and you know she wanted her face back and I was negotiating you know do we do cosmetic surgery I was talking with the doctors will it scar is she gonna have pigmentation scarring across her face what's the best way and you know she would sit with me we would talk to The Experts together and I was really hand-holding her through the process and one day you know I said to her I said you know that doesn't look good this part of your your stitches this looks
(04:59) infected and she said you know my English is not great please call the doctor for a message to her why not and I called the doctor and I describe the wound and I said it smelled a little bit there was a little bit of discharge and his response was very good catch nurse you know I'm gonna call in antibiotics call me back in a week to report and I said wait wait what I said no no I'm calling as a friend of hers you know I'm a prosecutor you know she's here with me right now her English is not great and he said Oh I thought
(05:34) you were a doctor or nurse and fast forward um I was very close to this woman and we worked out a very very good negotiation settlement for her and she said to me she said you know if you went to trial I would never have shown up for you she said you've always shown up for me and you show up for all of us and most of us leave you standing there in the courtroom we don't show up for trial and I'm not going to go into the ups and downs of being a domestic violence prosecutor it really that's a totally separate show that we can do and
(06:17) and also reality an awful reality in our world that so many people based on so many different levels as well exactly exactly but she said to me go be a doctor go be a doctor you saved my face she said you need to be a doctor and I looked at her I said I'm in I'm in 40s I'm old and she said you should do it anyway and uh I thought to myself I'm how am I going to do this you know um single Mommy I have a kid and I found a program um a really good accelerated program and I went back to school in my late you know
(06:59) my 40s and I did nursing school and I got my Bachelor's of Science in nursing in an accelerated program 35 hours a week I worked as a legal consultant at night um have a few more gray hairs from that year is to show for it but I I became a nurse and I you know I still I still use my legal knowledge but I love it and I never looked back that is a fascinating career Journey um again I keep using the word pivot but it it really it's so much more than that and through your work so much positive you were able to effectuate in the lives
(07:42) of the of the clients that you've helped but you're able to take that and now bring it to a new level and you know I think the sensitive conversations that you must be part of working now with the Aging population adult children relatives caregivers I think you are you probably have a heightened sensitivity having done that work in in domestic violence and being present through uncomfortable conversations for so long but quite a different realm you find yourself in now so you are in the Home Care realm
(08:17) correct correct I'm the administrator and run the medical side of Sterling care it's like the top agency located in Greenwich we are the highest rated stars and outcomes and um I'm very lucky my clinical staff my nurses my therapists they are just they're Superstars and they really really I mean throughout covid um these Clinic these you know these clinicians put on the n95s they put on the goggles they took care of coveted patients in the homes they really it is Nurses Week you know this weekend
(08:54) I'm not aware how sitting then this isn't even an even better even better show today than Ricky that's great and stars are aligned well we do we want to take a moment to thank all the amazing incredible work that nurses do um they really are the engine that that drives the medical Vehicles most times you'll find um Ricky let's begin by talking a bit about Sterling because I'm a huge advocate of going through trusted agencies because I feel that that's where you will get the vetted most you
(09:31) know impeccable level of care there's so much at stake when you're bringing people into the home and for example you know there there is an arguably vulnerable vulnerable population the senior themselves um they are vulnerable mentally physically emotionally and you're bringing someone into their home with access to jewelry valuables a checkbook so it can't be just anyone coming in to sit with Mom and Dad for a few hours a day so I'm a huge advocate of going through the proper channels planning in
(10:10) advance and really investigating who is out there to help so tell us a bit about Sterling and why you are different Ricky but what I love about this agency is um our moral compass is set straight it really is and I love that we have a Continuum of Care we can do it all we have the medical side which is the nurses the therapists the physical occupational therapists and we have the non-medical side which are the AIDS and the caregivers and the two sides of the agencies work hand in hand together which is very very different from other
(10:53) agencies we're also very small we're Boutique compared to the other agencies out there so you could reach the administrator immediately you can reach the CEO immediately that's unheard of with the larger agencies it's very true it is what I like most about us is that the ethical moral compass is set right so for example we will have a patient who is using the non-medical side caregivers and using the medical side under insurance and our occupational therapist and our physical therapist will see the patient
(11:30) get stronger and stronger and stronger and this means that they don't need our Aid in there as much and it's unheard of for the physical or occupational therapist of the same company to actually tell the patient and the family okay it's time to downscale and so we're the only agency that even though there's this almost like a conflict of interest here we're happy when the patients don't need us because it means they're getting better and I've never seen that before yeah so I've always patients interests
(12:06) ahead of the company's interest yes yes I have never seen that before and so when I get a call from my occupational therapy and she's like um you know they don't really need a need 12 hours I watched the shower they're safe they're good we will let the family know and and I really do believe I mean even though I'm an attorney you know I'm very part of me is very corporate and structured I do believe that if you do the right thing it always comes back to you twofold and what it is what I've noticed is when
(12:41) we've downscaled the families cannot believe it they're like what you're calling me to say that we don't need this many hours they don't even believe me I go yeah yeah but it's a wonderful way to continue you know that is why your reputation is what it is I mean I independently know the reputation of Sterling um I've always been quite impressed myself but that's where it comes from it's that Honesty it's that you're getting what you need and you're not getting sold a build of goods it's just
(13:09) real honest personalized top level Boutique care so Ricky is the predominant focus of the Sterling agency those short-term post-surgical occupational needs or occupational and physical therapy needs or do you find um that you're that you have more clients just in need of that daytime care that you know a couple of hours a day companionship medical assistance care or is it an even split well it's interesting because we do it all and so we've had some clients for years and years with us which doesn't
(13:51) mean they are ill what it means is that they're jumping from one point of our Continuum of Care to another so let's say they go in with a hip fracture they come out of the hospital using our Medicare side and in the home they rehab with nurse physical and occupational therapists at the same time the family pulls in a non-medical caregiver for extra security okay and they continue as the Medicare episode ends physical and occupational therapy leave the scene under Medicare the family continues with the
(14:28) non-medical caregiver they can downscale they can upscale they can even bring in a private duty nurse so a lot of times what happens is we will have private duty nurses or private duty therapists in there simply because it is a luxury and the families feel more secure right and there's eyes and ears sometimes we even have personal trainers in there um if anything happens they can bounce back to the Medicare episode so we've had people with us for many many years who are healthy and actually having the
(15:08) caregivers and having the help makes them more independent because they're going out to restaurants they're going out to um you know Dances and things and the caregivers hanging back and otherwise they'd never be able to do this stuff so it truly is a Continuum of Care you can handle both sides of the spectrum you know Ricky So when there is a surgery when there is a fall there's obviously a more evident need for this type of care and there's probably less resistance on the part of the senior because they know
(15:38) I mean there was there was an incident precipitating incident and now you need the necessary recovery tools but let's talk about the difficult dialogue that often stems from when it's just time to bring someone else in that push and pull that resistance between the the senior who doesn't want to lose autonomy and Independence the adult child who you know has their career has their own family who just doesn't have the physical ability to be there as much as they would like those conversations are
(16:11) very hard to have but they're very necessary to have let's talk about that side of Sterling what do you encounter what is you know the common thread in those situations from your perspective absolutely I mean you've just described perfectly the sandwich generation it really you know if anybody um is is juggling a career elderly parents kids it is the sandwich generation and a lot of times you know it falls on the women I I just you know for some reason um you know in my own personal experience I've noticed I'm somehow
(16:49) always meeting with the daughters of the elderly parents it is a really really hard conversation to have because nobody wants to admit that they need help right not us not our not our parents not our kids nobody really wants to admit that they're not okay and so the way you approach that conversation is really important because it can actually paint it for future talks so if you approach it in a way of anger and negativity um then your parents are not going to want to talk to you about that again right what I find most helpful is to approach
(17:33) it with a third party and that's where Sterling care can step in a lot of times we have um you know the the sons the daughters calling us and saying look my mom's not safe living at home and I've tried to tell her she doesn't want to listen to me would it be possible to come to her house to do a safety assessment and walk through okay so that's how the process begins that's how it begins I mean some of it's super obvious I can pick up who needs Home Care in two seconds me and you were at an event last weekend
(18:07) or the weekend before and I saw people Furniture walking you know we were in a church and I saw somebody you know literally hanging on to the pews the back of the seats and I would you know and it's hard to it's hard to I bite my tongue you can't walk over to somebody and say hi you're at risk for a fall do you know that the mortality rate after right can't do that right but you can tell um there are these red flags are they confused are they scraped up are they bruising from knocking into doorknobs or
(18:38) getting in and out of cars have they Fallen before are they mixing up their medications all of these are red flags and I always say to my clients and patience just because you're lucky doesn't mean you're safe right right because sometimes there are just accidents waiting to happen um you know the old area rugs in the house that can cause you to trip and you know yes even bathrooms and showers you know the older shower or the tub shower situation where you have to step over into the tub um there are those are the worst exactly
(19:16) and there's so many things that we just take for granted that we think they're every day I think you know non-threatening things but they they run the risk so that conversation you know and I think the I'm sure part of the pitch for this is that how wonderful is it to be able to remain in your home as long as you can age you know is beautiful and it's a blessing and a gift but it robs you of a lot your circle begins to dwindle and change um sometimes the limitations fall upon you so you know to be able to stay in your home
(19:56) and not have that taken away from you the familiarity of your four walls is is a wonderful thing so is it part of the conversation sometimes that you know Mom Dad if we do this you can stay here um do you find that that is part of the rationale that is absolutely absolutely you want your home to be a safe haven and not turn into a prison first of all right I mean you really want it to be a Haven and not a prison it's your Sanctuary it's your your safe space absolutely yes and if it's not safe we can make it safe we can always make it
(20:36) safe and if we can't we will let you know and if there does come a time that your home is no longer safe for you we will tell the families we will tell the clients if they're alert oriented and and we do have a senior placement Service as well run by a nurse so it's not just based on oh this building is beautiful and and and shiny and sparkly but a nurse actually knows what those communities can do and what kind of skills they have and services available and again that nurse has a fantastic ethical moral
(21:17) compass she will not place people at the location where she gets the highest uh placement fee she will place people based on her nursing skills and knowledge her independent assessment of the situation correct so Ricky you as part of what's offered through Sterling we have a medical side um nurses occupational therapists physical therapist but then you have more companion um not medically licensed but companions that can be in the home that am I correct to say they can do driving to appointments um they can just oversee that medication
(22:00) is being taken meal preparation shopping grocery shopping um getting someone outside for a fresh air you have that side as well they can do all that they cannot give medication they can't give medication but they can give reminders okay to take medication so supervision of medication they can give reminders they can say you don't forget right you know you have to take your pills and if they don't they can also let you know whoever whoever needs to know know that they missed a certain medication okay
(22:34) um and the wonderful thing about the companions is not only can they maintain hygiene showers you know dress meal prep Etc they're also company so your loved one is not lonely and depending upon your loved one are they chatty do they like do they like chattiness we match the caregiver to your loved one um some people really don't like chatting and they don't like somebody being you know right there and hovering right other people really are lonely and miss the company and they want to scrapbook and play checkers so it's
(23:13) important to find the right match and with an agency such as yours you have the resources to do that you have um plenty of people in place and you have the ability to if this is not a fit okay that's fine let's move on let's try this person so again yet another benefit of going to a trusted agency I always say think about this before the crisis sets in before it's too late and you're just scrambling to find someone because this is too important just to put anyone in there folks you need to have trusted
(23:50) vetted Personnel in in the home space we really can't stress that enough absolutely and and don't wait until you know and don't wait till they're hospitalized don't wait till when you see those red flags you know and if the conversation becomes uncomfortable invite a neutral third party in because to us it's an obvious and so when we walk into the house and we see what's going on um and sometimes the children you know they don't want to be there because they really want objectivity and we will
(24:29) sometimes make those calls and say well actually you know your mom's right she's fine but again it goes back to the honesty that you're not gonna sell somebody a bill of goods or place them and I think that's something that we've taken away today that call Sterling get a real honest independent non-biased assessment Ricky how can our time is coming to a close so how can people contact you directly and just get information there's no harm in getting information how can we do that absolutely you can call the agency
(25:02) that's Sterling care and our phone number is 203 five three two zero five zero zero okay and uh you can ask for Ricky directly um but we have very knowledgeable people here as well and if you're not sure what you need you can always ask for me and we can go through your needs and you and see sometimes we find that you know what you've called too early in the process let me know if that's it's a better early and then when the time comes you know who to call Ricky Goldstein the administrator administrator of Sterling
(25:41) Home Care I thank you for the information and I encourage everyone to give her a call to learn more there's no harm with getting your education and your information in advance thank you Ricky and this is Jen Graziano thanking you for taking the time to listen as we took the time to talk sign up for the show on time to talk with jen.
(26:01) com and listen to all of our episodes have a great day everyone bye-bye thank you