Welcome to the You Love and You Learn podcast, the place to learn about all things love, relationships, relationship anxiety, and deconstructing the one-size-fits-all narrative of what it means to be in a happy relationship. Join Sarah Yudkin, trauma-informed Relationship Anxiety coach, as she shares the nuance and context that most modern relationship advice is missing. Whether it’s a solo episode or Sarah sitting down to interview guests with their own unique relationship wisdom, you’ll le ...
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From her TikTok and Instagram, @findingmrheight, dating coach Ali Jackson is joined by friend & stand up comedian Erica Spera (@spericaa) to bring you their positive and practical dating approach in podcast form. Their straightforward attitudes, often with some humor on the side, will help you tackle modern dating issues while building confidence and staying authentic to your true self. Follow along @findingmrheight for even more content!
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Welcome! This Is (Not) About Your Body is a body neutrality podcast hosted by Jessi Kneeland, author of BODY NEUTRAL: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues. Exploring all the real and deeper issues impacting body image, it features interviews on a wide range of relevant topics like mental health, intuitive eating, fatphobia, beauty ideals, sexuality, and gender.
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190. The You Love & You Learn One Ft. Sarah Yudkin
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Do you experience anxiety in dating and relationships? Worrying that you’ll say the wrong thing, be in the wrong relationship, or ruin things with the right one? Sarah Yudkin, relationship anxiety coach and host of You Love and You Learn podcast, has some soothing words for you (and us!). Sarah shares how her own experience with her now fiance shap…
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#94 - Why You’re Unhappy, and What Can Make You Happier w/ Stephanie Harrison
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Does it feel like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things but you’re still not happy? Does it feel like everyone around you seems to be happier than you, and you feel so guilty about it? What if this wasn’t a flaw or something you’re doing wrong – and we have been getting happiness wrong all along? In this episode, I sat down with Stephanie Harrison of…
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192. The International Long Distance One ft. Kacie Rose
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Have you ever dreamed of travelling abroad and meeting the love of your life? Kacie Rose (@kacierose_ on IG) just did that and she’s here to tell us all about dating long distance and cross-culturally. We discuss her best tips for long distance, what worked in managing conflicts between her and her now-fiancé, and how dating an Italian man is diffe…
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#93 - Why Lowering the Bar May Actually Be a (Really) Good Thing w/ MJ Mayes
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In this episode, MJ and I discuss why lowering the bar in your life and relationship might actually be a good thing. No, this isn’t about settling or letting go of standards. It’s about moving forward without beating yourself up for every imperfection along the way, and taking small intentional actions instead of waiting for everything to perfectly…
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Have a question? Erica & Ali are here to answer it! This week, we answer three listener questions. First, a woman has been setting her friend up on dates and wonders if she should share “exit interview” feedback with her. Second, when should you share potential dealbreaker like pet allergies with a date? Lastly, a listener considers canceling a dat…
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In this episode, I explore the common struggle of wanting anxiety to disappear and how this often makes the anxiety feel even stronger. Many people ask, “Why is my anxiety still here even after I’ve tried all the tools?” – let's discuss a helpful shift in mindset that can transform your relationship with it. I cover: The nature of anxiety and why r…
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#91 - When You Want to Stay in Your Relationship, But Wish Things Were Better
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I’ve never done this before, but today I am bringing you a training from my Patreon membership to the podcast to show you a peek into the types of trainings we have every month! This month’s topic: wanting to stay in your relationship, but knowing you want things to be better or different, too. If you want to dive into a library of trainings like t…
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189. The Second SATC Theories One
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Erica & Ali are back with another hilarious (at least to us) Sex And The City episode, where we dissect its theories while acting out scenes from the show. This week, we’re covering Taxi Cab Theory, how long it takes to get over a break up, and faking orgasms (with a new character introduced!). In Updates, Erica attends a friend’s wedding…or is it …
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This Is Not About Your Body | Secret Lives of Mormon Wives | S3E14
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Welcome to This Is Not About Your Body! This week I'm discussing the recent phenomenon of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives through the lens of the Body Image Avatars. I really enjoyed doing that for the Bachelorette and I'm exploring different avenues of content and tying in popular culture moments with aspects of my work. Again, no worries if you …
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#90 - Embracing a Partner Who’s Different From You w/ Chelsea Horton
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In this episode, Chelsea and I dive into the idea that true relationship strength often comes from embracing differences rather than being exactly the same. We cover: Chelsea’s journey of overcoming internalized beliefs that partners must think alike How she learned to appreciate her husband's contrasting qualities How differences can nurture a dee…
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188. The Quiet the Clock One ft. Beth Gulotta
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We always hear, “it will happen when you least expect it,” but letting go of societal timelines and expectations isn’t as easy as a catchy phrase. Enter Beth Gulotta, therapist and host of Quiet The Clock podcast. We chat with Beth about quieting the noise surrounding what you “should” be doing (hint: stop using that word!) and getting more in touc…
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#89 - 5 Tips When You Feel Disconnected From Your Partner
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It can feel so painful to be disconnected from your partner. I get it, because I’ve had a few of these moments myself recently! Let’s talk about it. In this episode, I share: Recent examples when Nate and I felt disconnected Why it feels so painful to be disconnected from your partner 5 ways to respond next time you’re disconnected 7 helpful mindse…
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This week, Ali & Erica are answering short-form listener questions, rapid fire style. We take turns asking each other things like: is it ever okay to be sexual in your dating app profile? Can you be friends with a past situationship? Is it better to be good on paper or have good chemistry? And are people ever actually bad texters, or do they just n…
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This Is Not About Your Body | Jenn Tran - The Bachelorette & The Body Image Avatars | S3E13
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Welcome back to This Is Not About Your Body! This week I'm discussing the recent Bachelorette season and particularly the finale through the lens of the Body Image Avatars. Don't worry if you haven't watched or actively don't watch these kind of shows, this is more an analysis of how they can tie into the Avatars with no prior knowledge needed. - -…
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#88 - Healing From the Inside Out w/ Alison Seponara
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This episode focuses on healing anxiety from the inside out. And who better to speak to than Alison Seponara – therapist, anxiety educator, holistic healer, and author who specializes in helping others create their own holistic anxiety healing toolkit! Anxiety can come from many different pillars of our life; our friendships, our physical health an…
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186. The Sixth Ask A Man One ft. Charles McBee
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It’s our first time doing Ask A 40-Something Man, featuring Erica’s good friend and standup comedian Charles McBee. We asked our listeners: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to ask a man?” and y’all did not disappoint! Tune in for Charles’s thoughts things like: moving on after a breakup, how much men share with their friends, and whether you …
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#87 - Why You’re Triggered by Your Partner w/ Thais Gibson
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You are in for a TREAT with this episode, which truly felt like a therapy session for me. I sat down with Thais Gibson who has over a decade working as a practitioner and specializes in blending attachment theory, psychology, and subconscious reprogramming. We discuss what Thais refers to as the “relationship shadow” and explore why our partners ca…
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185. The First SATC Theories One
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Ali & Erica switch it up this week with a new episode format: discussing scenes from Sex And The City and how they apply to life today (complete with some voice acting!). We discuss lending money to friends, whether friends can be your true soulmates, & what to do if you hate going down. In Updates, Erica gets her Don’t Tell set back and works on s…
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#86 - The Realities of Healing Relationship Anxiety
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Have you ever felt like you were not going “fast enough” in your journey to heal relationship anxiety or ROCD? Maybe you’ve seen other people share their wins and felt like you’re just not getting it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we compare to other people’s highlight reels–but today I am peeling back the curtain of what healing relationship…
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184. The ShrinkChicks One ft. Jennifer Chaiken & Emmalee Bierly
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Erica & Ali could not HELP but let this interview with ShrinkChicks (aka Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT & Emmalee Bierly, LMFT) run a bit long because, y’all, it is incredible. The foursome starts off discussing how difficult it can be to find a therapist and offer some advice for navigating that journey. Then, we move into our most popular listener submis…
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#85 - How to Help Someone w/ Relationship Anxiety + ROCD
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If you are the partner of someone with relationship anxiety, this episode is for you. If you have relationship anxiety and want to be able to ask your partner for more intentional support, this episode is for you! Thank you to the help of the You Love and You Learn community on Instagram for this episode. I received dozens of answers to the questio…
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183. The Fifteenth Hot Topics One
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Erica & Ali are back answering your questions in a Hot Topics episode this week! We counsel a listener who is nervous about having sex for the first time. Then, a listener is struggling with a guy who’s chronically late and recently stood her up. Third, Erica gives advice on navigating a herpes disclosure in your relationship. And finally, a listen…
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#84 - Why We Sabotage Healthy Relationships w/ Dr. Morgan Anderson
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If you have ever felt like your healthy relationship is boring and the “vibes are off” – this episode is for you! I sat down with Dr. Morgan Anderson, a clinical psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast. In this episode we discuss: Why Morgan rejected, sabotaged, and avoided available love for so long What em…
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We’re back with another debate team episode, where Ali & Erica debate topics submitted by our listeners! We’ve got four topics up for debate this week. Let us know where you stand! Marathon dates early in the game - yay or nay? Is it okay to be late for a date? Can you date someone you work with? And finally, should you go ring shopping with your p…
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#83 - Taking Our Partner Off The Pedestal w/ Charisse Cooke
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I loved this conversation because time and time again this comes up in the work I do with clients (and it was a pattern in my own relationship). I sat down with Charisse Cooke, who is a London-based relationship psychotherapist with over 20 years experience. She helps individuals, couples and groups develop relationship skills and define love in a …
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181. The Emotionally Online One ft. Maddie Dragsbaek
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Straight from your guest suggestions, we have Maddie Dragsbaek, host of the Emotionally Online podcast, in an amazing episode this week! Maddie has been opening up about her life online since before podcasts were a thing and this week is no exception. Our conversation focuses first on her bisexuality - what exploring that both privately and publicl…
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Do you ever notice yourself feeling good, then suddenly an anxious voice pops up saying “wait, shouldn’t I be worrying about something?” or “if I don’t worry about this–how will I figure it out?” I’ve been here, and I used to sabotage most of my good feelings by jumping straight back into worry. In this episode, I explore: Why fear can try to block…
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Erica & Ali have so many updates to share this week that we did an episode full of them (plus a lot of girl talk in between)! Erica is fresh off her third date with Tony Soprano and is on the fence about a fourth (until she accidentally pushes herself off). The gals get into a great discussion about the frustration of someone being “good on paper” …
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#81 - Staying Grounded During Wedding Planning
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In this episode, I share my personal journey from getting engaged (June 2023) to planning my wedding (in May 2025). Thanks to great questions from the You Love and You Learn community…I discuss: How to enjoy your engagement phase before and during wedding planning What I’ve learned about my personality during this time How to accept the moments whe…
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179. The Attachment Solution One ft. Charisse Cooke
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Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke is back on the pod this week and Erica & Ali could have talked to her for hours! Our conversation focuses on attachment theory, answering listener questions such as how to self soothe an anxious attachment, best strategies for navigating an anxious/avoidant dynamic, and why avoidant attachment gets such a bad rap. In …
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#80 - Part 2: Setting Boundaries with In-Laws w/ Alexandra Schelling
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You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about navigating relational dynamics with our partner’s family. Should we set boundaries with o…
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178. The Cheating One ft. Chloe Radcliffe
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We hear about cheating a lot, but it’s rarely from the perspective of the person who does the cheating. This week, standup comedian Chloe Radcliffe opens up about her pattern of cheating (which she wrote a solo show about!). We dive into her thoughts on the origins of cheating, what she’s learned from her pattern and is applying in her new relation…
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#79 - Part 1: Navigating Family Dynamics: Expectations vs. Reality w/ Alexandra Schelling
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You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about what’s happening in our OWN mind when it relates to our partner’s family. Expectation vs.…
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177. The Second Past Beliefs One
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We had so much fun talking about our past beliefs the other week that we’re bringing it back for a series including your submissions! We discuss submissions such as “your person will complete you,” “trying hard isn’t cool,” and “you should share many common hobbies with your partner.” Let us know if you like this series and submit more of your past…
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#78 - From Burnout to Balance: Cycle Syncing w/ Ash McDonald
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his episode is a long-time coming, one I have been so excited to record and share with you because I wish more people knew this information! Menstrual cycles can have such a huge effect on how we’re showing up throughout the month, and if we don’t know what to expect…we can feel a lil’ crazy or guilty about the changes in energy, mindset, and emoti…
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176. Storytime: Dating With Depression
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Ali & Erica are joined this week by Kelly, a listener who wrote in to share her story about dating with depression & anxiety. Kelly shares her journey towards getting diagnosed, how depression impacted her dating, & what growing in her first serious relationship has been like. It’s a powerful, relatable story that we can’t wait to share. But first,…
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#77 - Helpful Advice From a Divorce Lawyer
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I was pleasantly surprised when I listened to a podcast with James Sexton, a divorce lawyer who’s seen the ups and downs of couples for 25+ years in his career and has a lot of wisdom to share from it. Today’s episode focuses on a key thing he sees that leads to relationship breakdown: 1. Not knowing what you want or need, and 2. Not knowing how to…
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We asked for your submissions about dating philosophies or “rules” you used to believe, but don’t anymore, and WOW did you deliver! So much so that we’ll be continuing this topic in future episodes. We’re starting this week with things that Ali & Erica used to believe, but don’t anymore, such as: when you know you know, men should ask women out for…
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#76 - A Reframe to Help Relationship Anxiety: Zooming In and Out
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This simple reframe has helped me (and dozens of my clients) in moments of relationship anxiety: zooming in when you’re thinking too big-picture, and zooming out when you’re hyper-fixated on something in the present moment. I explain why this matters in your relationship and specific examples of zooming in and out to help manage your anxiety. If yo…
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We’re debuting a new segment on the pod this week…Debate Team! Ali & Erica will each be assigned a side of a debate and debate each other. This week, we’re starting with “should you live together before getting engaged?” and “can you be friends with an ex?” It gets especially fun when we have to argue for the side we don’t actually agree with! But …
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#75 - Healing Unworthiness: From Trauma to Self-Worth w/ Sarah Baldwin
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This topic is LONG overdue, and that is feeling unworthy and how this affects our life and the ways we show up in our relationships. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to speak with Sarah Baldwin, who is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and expert in the field of trauma resolution. We explore reasons we feel unworthy, how to become kinder to ou…
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173. The Date Brazen One ft. Lily Womble
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Erica & Ali welcome feminist dating coach and debut author Lily Womble to the pod this week! We chat about bringing more joy into your dating life, how to narrow down your search to what Lily calls essences-based preferences, and how to reframe your mindset when you feel like you’re “too much.” Order Lily’s book, Thank You More Please, out June 11t…
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#74 - Speaking Up For Your Needs in a Relationship w/ Gayane Aramyan
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Are you clear about what your needs are in a relationship? If so, do you communicate them openly with your partner? If you answered no to either question, you’ll enjoy this conversation. Our partners cannot read our minds, especially if we are not even sure what we’re expecting in the first place, so it’s important to take time to think about these…
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It’s a slightly new Hot Topics format, with both listener questions and a couple AITA situations. First, Ali & Erica debate if a man is the a-hole for not helping his wife carry things in from the car and whether a women is the a-hole for not giving up her comfy coffee shop chair. Then, we answer two listener questions: one listener who is concerne…
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#73 - What if I've Had Relationship Anxiety/ROCD from the Beginning
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Common questions I am asked are “what if I never had a honeymoon phase?” and “is it bad if I’ve had relationship anxiety/ROCD from the beginning of my relationship?” My two cents is how long we’ve had RA/ROCD is less relevant than what is contributing to the RA/ROCD…and that’s exactly what I explore in this episode! What factors may have contribute…
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We asked for feedback and you delivered!! This week, Ali & Erica are going through the biggest takeaways and themes from our podcast survey and previewing what’s to come for the future of the pod. We dig deep on our own opportunities for growth, taking into account both what the listeners shared as well as our own reflections. It’s a vulnerable con…
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This Is Not About Your Body | Sleep Neutrality w/ Sarah Petroski | S3E12
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Welcome to This Is Not About Your Body! This week I'm joined by Sarah Petroski! Sarah is a sleep coach and sleep medicine post-grad at the University of Oxford who helps tired but wired creative entrepreneurs optimize their sleep. I'm excited to chat with her about common sleep challenges, myths, and solutions. Find more from Sarah on her website a…
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#72 - Is it Normal For Healthy Love to Feel Boring?
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Have you ever felt bored in your relationship and worried that something is wrong? Maybe you’ve wondered “is this normal, shouldn’t things feel more exciting than this?” I’ve been there, and this has been a trigger I have struggled with myself, so I wanted to explore it more. In this episode, I explore: 3 reasons why healthy love can feel boring Wh…
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170. The Second Therapy Jeff One ft. Jeff Guenther
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Back by popular demand, Therapy Jeff (aka Jeff Guenther, LPC) is on the pod answering your burning questions. We dive into topics such as: what does it mean if I attract emotionally available people? How to approach pre-marital counseling? What does it mean to “settle” and how do I know if I am? As always, Jeff’s advice is on point with some laughs…
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#71 - Trusting Your Intuition in Your First Serious Relationship w/ my client
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It can be so hard to trust ourselves when there is so much relationship information and advice out there. Even well-meaning friends and family can add their two cents when sometimes, we really didn’t need it! In this episode, I sat down with a client of mine who shares her journey of trusting her intuition in her first serious relationship. We also…
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