Scheduling, Structure, and Traditions as the Key to Making and Keeping Friends

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you!

Jeff Waldman and Dan Moore joined me for an inspiring thirty minutes where we discussed creating closer friendships by scheduling time with friends. Yes, something as mundane as scheduling in the magic here. We also got into more specific ideas like organizing workshops or trips, putting standing dates on your calendar for phone calls, dinners, fitness check-ins, games, workshops, retreats, and more.

We discussed saying yes sometimes, even when you feel like staying home, and the benefit of being the host of events instead of the guest.

Meet Jeff and Dan

Jeff Waldman is a designer, builder, and author of a book on tools. He sells building plans and has a newsletter on Substack called Elevated Spaces where he writes about both construction and community building and where those two practices intersect for him. Two of Jeff’s especially pertinent posts about friendship are: “Who are all these friends— Scheduled phone calls edition” and “What’s Up With All These Workshops”

His communal property in California's Santa Cruz mountains burned in the wildfires of 2020 but lives on as a canvas for new project.

Dan Moore is a technologist, outdoor enthusiast, husband and father. He has been writing software for over 20 years, and was shocked early in his career at how much software project success depends on human relationships. He's an author and contributor to technical books such as "97 Things Every Cloud Engineer Should Know" and "Letters To a New Developer: What I Wish I Had Known When Starting My Development Career." Dan's also an organizer and member of several interest based groups, including the Odd Fellows (a fraternal order) and the Boulder Ruby programming language meetup group. Dan lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife and two daughters.

Let's connect over all things friendship!

• My Substack newsletter about friendship & more
• Dear Nina website with show notes and a guide to pitching yourself as a guest
• Instagram , TikTok, Twitter, Youtube, Threads
• JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group
• Ask an anonymous question

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Kapitler

1. Creating Closer Friendships Through Scheduling (00:00:00)

2. Scheduling and Maintaining Friendships Over Time (00:12:01)

3. Friendship, Accessibility, and Connection (00:20:28)