Limerence: When Fantasy Takes Over Reality in Matters of the Heart

The Relationship Maze

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Welcome to a new episode of The Relationship Maze, where we delve into the complexities of human relationships. In this episode, we tackle the intriguing concept of limerence. We explore the intense and obsessive feelings of extreme infatuation that can arise for some people when feelings are not reciprocated by the other person. Limerence is the feeling of having a crush on someone multiplied by 10.
Limerence, a term coined by psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, describes the phenomenon of falling head over heels for someone in an obsessive and potentially unhealthy way. Tenov discovered that there are two types of people when it comes to falling in love: those who do so passionately and uncontrollably, the limerents, and those who are less emotionally engaged, the remilents.
Characteristics of limerence include for example intrusive thinking about the object of desire, a constant preoccupation with the desired person, an inability to focus on anybody else as a potential love interest, an over sensibility and over interpretation as to the intentions of the desired person which affects one’s mood, seeking proximity to the object of desire while simultaneously feeling shy and experiencing an intense fear of rejection or having intense and soothing fantasies about reciprocal love.
Join us as we look at the underlying attachment issues that manifest in the form of limerence.
If you've ever experienced unrequited love, infatuation, or obsessive desires, this episode is for you.
Welcome to The Relationship Maze: Limerence.
[00:00:04] Limerence: Strong, one-sided infatuation
[00:05:06] Chemical flooding creates obsessional thoughts of love.
[00:09:04] Love and limerence: caring or obsessing?
[00:12:24] Interesting perspective on seeking validation and relationships.
[00:16:06] Early attachment experiences impact key patterns.
[00:17:43] Magical experiences and connections that stay with us.
[00:21:00] Awareness of learned self-perception, love, and acceptance.
[00:23:35] Inner reflection, relationships, and positive self-perception.
Struggling with a lot of conflict and arguments in your relationship? Learn about communicating effectively and addressing common relationship problems in our Stop Arguing, Start Loving mini course: https://therelationshipmaze.com/relationshipconflictvsl2.
Learn everything you always wanted to know about building and maintaining loving relationships in our comprehensive course The Relationship Maze, starting with understanding yourself in relationships to understanding your partner and understanding what makes for a successful relationship. We look at common causes of relationship problems and offer solutions. Learn how to address relationship problems and questions without breaking up.